Why you should be more willing to admit when you don’t know something

How many times have you been asked by someone at work whether you know about a particular project, are familiar with a specific concept, or know a person? Chances are, you have answered “yes” to that question a few times when you did not, in fact, know what they were talking about.

There are several reasons why people will say the know things they don’t. For one thing, there is a desire in conversations to be cooperative with your partner. When they ask a question, the default cooperative answer is usually “yes,” so you often go with that default. On top of that, it you may feel deficient if you’re lacking knowledge or awareness that someone else has.

Despite these temptations to overstate what you know, there are good reasons to admit when you lack the information you have been asked about.

Opportunities for mentorship

Admitting that there is something (or someone) you don’t know creates a vulnerability. You have demonstrated a potential weakness to someone else. However, it also opens up a chance for someone to teach you something you don’t know. Most colleagues would like to be helpful, and when they know you have a gap in your knowledge they might be willing to teach you.

This willingness to admit ignorance to others also enables you to be more honest with yourself. You can’t begin to fill gaps in your knowledge until you do a reasonable inventory of what you do and don’t know. This honest appraisal opens you up to the lessons that others may have for you. It may also help you to recognize gaps in your understanding of projects going on at work and people you need to know. All of this is likely to make you more effective in the long run.

Building trust

Often, you don’t want to appear to have a gap in your knowledge, because you believe that will decrease your value in the eyes of others. But merely saying you know something or someone doesn’t have much of an impact on how other people view you. It’s your ability to use knowledge or to engage your social network that provides value.

In fact, your willingness to admit what you don’t know often increases people’s trust in you. When people know that you are willing to be clear when you don’t have knowledge or connections, then they are better able to rely on you for the knowledge you claim. In general, owning your limitations gives other people more confidence in your abilities and your work.

Setting an example

A true learning organization is one in which people strive to improve their knowledge and skills. When you admit what you don’t know, you also open up the opportunity to learn something. It’s a great example for the people around you when you hear about something new, acknowledge that it is new to you, and then go out and find out more.

This cycle of admitting a lack of knowledge and getting educated is particularly important for senior leaders in an organization to go through. People across an organization are looking to leaders to set the tone for the way the organization functions. When senior leaders portray themselves as knowing everything, then they are treating knowledge and skill gaps as a weakness rather than an opportunity. That attitude will trickle down in ways that limit the learning of all team members.

Bonus: Flip the default on questions

If you really want to know what other people know, you should ask your questions differently. Rather than saying, “Do you know . . .?” which has the cooperative answer “yes,” start your questions with things like “I find a lot of people are confused by, . . .” or “Something that took me a long time to understand is . . .”

These phrases create the presumption that the cooperative answer is to admit that you have a gap in your knowledge. This framing of questions increases the likelihood that people will let you know when they don’t know something.

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