2 easy mindset shifts that will boost your confidence

At a recent fundraising event, I stood backstage with a young woman waiting to give a speech in front of 550 people to honor her alma mater. She was visibly nervous; I watched as she paced, taking deep breaths to calm the adrenaline that was flooding her body, twisting her hands, and looking toward the stage door as if she might try to make a run for it.

As a charity auctioneer who has spent more than two decades on stages around the world commanding rooms filled with thousands of people, I know that feeling. There were so many nights in the beginning of my career when I felt the same way. But spending 1,000-plus nights onstage has given me plenty of practice to learn what it takes to cultivate confidence—and keep it—in my professional and personal life.

Here are two easy mindset shifts that anyone can use to boost their confidence walking into any room.

Find Your Strike Method

Every time I walk onstage as the auctioneer, I bring a small gavel to bang down three times to get the attention of the crowd. After many years of hearing the gavel crack three times against the podium, I associate the habit with the most confident version of me. On nights when I forgot my gavel, I started to use anything within reach to mimic the motion and sound—a saltshaker from the table, a tube of lipstick, even a hockey puck when I was taking an auction at a hockey arena.

I also found I could use this offstage as well. Whenever I am about to step into a difficult meeting or a big presentation and find my confidence starting to recede, I visualize the gavel strike. The familiar method reminds me to throw my shoulders back, put a smile on my face, and walk in like I own the room.

For my book The Most Powerful Woman in the Room Is You, I interviewed professional athletes, CEOs, and people at the top of their industry and realized that most successful people have their own version of a “strike method.” Whether it be a mantra, an action, or a physical item, there is something that helps them conjure strength and confidence in the moments when they don’t feel it. 

To cultivate confidence, spend time thinking about the moments when you feel your most powerful. Come up with your own mantra or action that you can use anytime you aren’t feeling your most confident, and let your strike method empower you to move forward.

Nail Your Sales Pitch

When it comes to shifting your confidence mindset, inner work is as important as anything you do in your personal or professional life. You may dream about building the biggest business in the world and spend hours designing your dream life, but if you haven’t mastered your sales pitch, you will always find yourself fumbling when asked a question about yourself.

Sit down with a piece of paper in a quiet place and write down a list of everything you want people to know about you: what you are good at, what you do, where you are headed. If you find that you have written about things that you no longer want to be known for, simply cross them off the list. 

Once that list is complete, spend some time writing a 30-second sales pitch that describes these key details: who you are, what you are doing, and, most importantly, where you are headed. Articulating this vision and putting it into a concise sales pitch will put you in control the next time someone asks, “So tell me about you.”

A few minutes before the nervous young woman stepped onstage, I walked over and gave her an unsolicited hype speech to help her own the moment. “You are going to rock this speech, and everyone in the audience is ready to watch you command the stage.” I saw her stand up taller, still nervous but now ready to take up space on the stage.

Confidence ebbs and flows, so don’t forget to surround yourself with people who believe in you—and give you a hype speech on the days when you aren’t feeling the most confident.

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