How to emotionally survive a performance improvement plan

In large organizations, HR usually has a process for documenting concerns about employees’ effectiveness that can be used either to help fix those problems—or to provide a basis for later termination. One of the central records used for this purpose is the dreaded performance improvement plan, or PIP.

If you get called in to see your supervisor and get hit with a PIP, you’re likely to experience a range of emotions. Understanding your emotional reaction and how to cope with it is an important part of moving forward successfully. Let’s consider a range of emotions you might be experiencing and what you should do:

Feeling Grief

One possibility is that the PIP comes out of the blue. You may be thinking that work is going fine and you suddenly find out that there are concerns. Because work is often an important part of both your identity and your ability to maintain your life and lifestyle, it represents a tear in the fabric of your life story. And that will trigger a grief process.

The five stages of grief described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) don’t necessarily have to happen in that order, but you should recognize that they may accompany the news that you are struggling in your job.

You have to resist the urge to act on the basis of these emotions. If you get angry, you should not lash out at your bosses or the organization in email or on social media. If you feel like bargaining, take a beat, and avoid making promises that you will regret later.

Instead, give yourself a few days to reflect on the situation. Were you dismissing warning signs about your performance? Are there elements of your job that you have been ignoring? Do you think the organization is looking for a way to show you the exit?

After that reflection, schedule a meeting with your supervisor to talk over the situation. In preparation for that session, make a realistic plan for how you will address issues discussed in your PIP. Develop a list of questions you have about the path forward. Wait to schedule that meeting for a time when you feel that you can really hear the answers to your questions.

Feeling Relief

Perhaps surprisingly, you may find that the PIP brings with it a feeling of relief. You may have been struggling to complete your job responsibilities. Perhaps you feel that you’re in over your head. You might even hate your job, but were soldiering on by inertia.

If the PIP brings a feeling of relief, it’s probably time to look for a new job. The feelings you’re having are helping you see that you can have a more fulfilling work life by changing paths.

Make a list of the things you really like about your job, as well as those you don’t. Think about the characteristics of a job that would be appealing. Consider talking with your supervisor or someone in HR about alternative paths. Often, your supervisor wants you to be successful—even if that success means that you should be working elsewhere. They may have great suggestions about a role that would best suit your talents.

Feeling Clarity

Sometimes—particularly early in your career—you have a nagging sense that there is something wrong at work. You’re doing your work as well as you can, but feel like you’re missing something. You may have the sense that everyone else is working from a different version of the script than you are.

In this case, the PIP may actually help to clarify what is going wrong. This can happen when you have a supervisor who is not good at providing regular feedback and coaching.

In this situation, you can really dive into the PIP (after taking a day or two to see this as an opportunity, rather than a punishment). Sit down with your supervisor and other team members and talk about the elements of your performance that have raised concern. Ask about training and classes you can take to improve your performance. Find a peer who is good at these tasks and ask for some mentorship.

The people who emerge most strongly from a PIP are those who embrace the opportunity for growth and lean into the chance to improve skills. As this process moves forward, talk with your supervisor about how to get more timely feedback on your performance. This conversation is likely to help you improve, and may also provide some feedback to your supervisor that can lead to their growth as well.

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