People are dragging JPMorgan’s new HQ online

JPMorgan Chase’s new $3 billion global headquarters in midtown Manhattan was finally unveiled the week of October 20 after six years in the making.

But rather than highlighting the Danny Meyer-curated food hall, imported taps that pour a perfect pint of Guiness, or lighting that adjusts with circadian rhythms, online attention has been focused on another feature of the 270 Park Ave. skyscraper. 

“Congratulations JPMorgan on the opening of your new headquarters!” billionaire Michael Dell posted on X last week, alongside a photo of what seems to be a trading floor in the new office. The image features row upon row of his company’s monitors in four-screen setups, duplicated as far as the eye can see.

Less than a week later, and the post has more than 17 million views. But maybe not for good reasons.

Many in the comments are calling the image “dystopian.” Others are using it as an opportunity to rail against return-to-office mandates. 

“‘Remote work kills the culture and warmth that only real human interactions in an office can create,’” one X user mockingly cited, immediately followed up in the next line with “the culture and warmth” right above Dell’s computer-lined image of the trading floor.

“Are these for cage free or free-range analysts?” another quipped. 

Some defended the setup, saying this is simply what a typical trading floor looks like these days. (Who thought we’d be nostalgic for office cubicles in the year 2025?)

“Imagine ripping a ‘nothing from my end’ from row E, seat 15 at the new JPM HQ,” one X user wrote. 

“For efficiency, they ask everyone with no updates to repeat ‘nothing from my end’ at the same time,” another joked in response. “Every morning at 9:05am you can hear it reverberating throughout the building in a haunting hum.” 

Earlier this year, JPMorgan Chase enforced its return-to-office mandate, which requires employees to work at the site five days a week. “Now I understand why everyone at JP wants to work from home,” claimed another X user. “This is an awful work environment.”

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon has been a vocal supporter of scaling back remote work and getting employees back in the office full time. His employees, on the other hand, have other thoughts. 

A large number have signed petitions asking for more flexibility in the workplace, and unionization efforts are underway in response to the policy. (Fast Company reached out to JPMorgan for comment but hasn’t received a response as of this writing.)

For now, at least, Park Avenue is where you’ll find the banking giant’s 10,000-strong New York City workforce. The 60-story skyscraper is betting on a vision for the future of work that’s centered on in-person collaboration. Open all hours of the day, the building is packed with amenities, including a state-of-the-art gym, 24/7 food options, and even a pub. 

Sounds incredible. It’s almost like you never have to leave.

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