4 leadership red flags you should never ignore

Have you ever worked under someone you just couldn’t wait to get away from—maybe to the point where you’d daydream about finding a new job (or hoping they’d leave instead)? That’s what we call an “Extinguisher.” These leaders sap energy from their teams and throw up roadblocks that stand in the way of success. On the flip side, “Generators” are those leaders who inspire and empower people to reach their full potential—and they’re the ones everyone wants to work for.

Most of us want to steer clear of Extinguishers (and make sure we never become one ourselves). The trouble is, it’s not always obvious when you’re dealing with one—at least not until you’re already burned out. That’s why we conducted two major studies to pinpoint exactly how Extinguishers differ from Generators.

Our research revealed four early warning signs that can help you spot an Extinguisher before it’s too late.

Extinguishers hide their flaws and struggles

Extinguishers wear a mask when they come to work – hiding their true selves. They often cover up their mistakes and flaws – to be perceived as the “perfect” leader. Unfortunately, this creates distance between them and their employees. Can you really be open about your struggles if your leader seems perfect and untouchable? It can feel too vulnerable to share imperfections with someone who is “perfect”. In this situation, it’s hard to get the support you need because you won’t feel comfortable asking for it.

Even well-meaning leaders can fall into this Extinguisher trap. Leaders want to be seen as competent and deserving of their role. So, they may feel extra pressure to keep up a facade. However, employees can sense leaders’ inauthenticity, decreasing trust and healthy communication on the team.

If you have never seen or heard about your leader struggling with something, if all you hear about is how “perfect” they are, or you feel like they are being fake, watch out. You may be working for an Extinguisher.

Extinguishers don’t care about your personal life

Adding to the distance between them and their employees, Extinguishers do not want to hear about employees’ personal lives. They don’t care about what’s going on with you outside of work and see conversations about your partner, pets, or other important aspects of your life as irrelevant. Extinguishers also fail to share anything about themselves with their employees. This is because Extinguishers believe that you shouldn’t bring your personal life to work – and view these two spheres as separate.

Why is this a problem? If a leader doesn’t know you, how can they know how to support you? Extinguishers don’t understand you as a whole person. They are focusing solely on your work. But, what happens if something awful occurs in your personal life that has clear implications for your work? What if you need extra time or some flexibility to manage life stressors? Extinguishers don’t want to hear it and, thus, won’t give you the support that you need.

If you feel like your leader knows nothing about who you are as a person, you are likely working for an Extinguisher.

Extinguishers never disconnect from work

Extinguishers never take a break. In fact, they often brag about working late at night or early in the morning. You get emails from them at all hours of the day and while they are supposedly on vacation. For example, on Sunday nights, Extinguishers might send tons of messages in preparation for the busy week they are about to create for you. This can create pressures to respond when employees are supposed to be disconnecting. But, Extinguishers do not believe in work-life balance. They prioritize work over life – and often expect you to do the same.

Unfortunately, Extinguishers’ bad examples create harmful expectations. Actions are much louder than words – when leaders never disconnect, neither will their employees. Plus, employees start to believe that being always “on” is required to get to the next level. This can create unsustainable expectations about what it takes to be a leader.

If you never see your leader disconnect or if you consistently get messages during “off” hours, you are probably working for an Extinguisher.

Extinguishers believe there’s only one right way

Finally, Extinguishers think there’s one right way to do everything – and it’s their way. How do you become a leader? By following their exact path. How do you achieve that big goal? By taking the steps they would take. Extinguishers don’t recognize that there are many ways to be successful.

This is a recipe for disaster. Processes will never evolve and improve if organizations stick to the way it’s always been done. Plus, we know that career paths do not look the same for everyone. Your strengths, background, and goals are unique. Each leader makes it to the top in their own way. Extinguishers discourage uniqueness and make it harder to lead authentically.

If your manager shoots down new ideas, only offers advice based on their own experiences, and micromanages you to do things exactly their way, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with an Extinguisher.

 If you spot these warning signs, think about ways to build a support system that can help protect you from their negative behavior. If you’re feeling courageous, you might even try sharing some feedback so they have the opportunity to grow. It’s also wise to start mapping out a plan to move on before things get worse. And when you’re interviewing for a new role, don’t forget to ask some probing questions to see if your potential new boss shows any of these red flags. It’s the best way to avoid jumping from one Extinguisher to another.

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