Should you get PTO for breakups?

In what might be the most up-front leave request of the year, a Gen Z employee emailed his boss asking for 10 days off to recover from a breakup.

“I recently had a breakup and haven’t been able to focus on work. I need a short break,” they wrote in an email that was recently screenshotted and posted to X.

Entrepreneur and CEO Jasveer Singh shared the unusually candid request on social media, captioning it: “Got the most honest leave application yesterday. Gen Z doesn’t do filters!” (Singh just so happens to be the cofounder and CEO of Knot Dating, a dating app. Coincidence?) 

Whether the email was genuine or a clever PR stunt, it gained nearly 14 million views since it was posted Tuesday, sparking the debate: should heartbreak qualify as a legitimate reason to take time off work?

Workplaces are generally sympathetic to time off for illness or family emergencies. But when it comes to a messy breakup, that empathy tends to dry up quickly.

Across the U.S., “heartbreak leave” isn’t standard policy. Telling your boss you need a few days because a parent is sick sounds reasonable. Admitting you’ve had a fight with your partner and are currently crashing on a friend’s sofa? Not so much. 

Often, workers might take personal days for such events, but there’s certainly no widespread PTO policy around breakups. Yet in other countries, the idea isn’t as far-fetched. 

In Germany, employees can take leave for liebeskummer, which translates to “love grief.” Other companies allow for heartbreak leave under the guise of “well-being days” or “mental health days.”

Studies show that our brains register emotional pain in the same way as physical pain, and in some cases, it can even lead to “broken heart syndrome,” which literally affects the heart’s ability to pump blood properly around the body.

From a boss’s perspective, emotionally checked-out employees can cost companies just as much as absenteeism. A 2022 University of Minnesota study found that 44% of people going through divorce said it negatively affected their work. Many reported struggling to focus, sleep, or control their emotions. 

That leaves employees either telling white lies to secure the necessary time off to heal, or powering through . . . likely with regular breaks to sob in the bathroom before returning to their desk swollen-eyed and puffy-faced. 

In recent years, following the pandemic-era trend of more power to the workers, people have pushed more for additional benefits beyond just the ability to work hybrid or remotely. In the U.S., some states offer bereavement leave for pets, a trend that’s gained momentum. Menstrual leave has also entered the conversation, as has gender affirmation leave.

Not everyone will want or need heartbreak leave, mind you. Some people prefer to throw themselves into work as a distraction. But acknowledging the end of a relationship as a valid source of suffering could go a long way toward building a more empathetic workplace. 

As for the Singh’s heartbroken employee? “Leave approved without any questions,” he confirmed. 

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