Want to foster psychological safety? Start by looking in the mirror

More than two decades of research—from Harvard professor Amy Edmondson’s pioneering studies to Google’s landmark Project Aristotle—have found that the strongest predictor of high-performing teams isn’t talent or strategy, but psychological safety. As Edmondson defines, it’s “a shared belief held by team members that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking.” It’s what gives people the confidence to speak up, take creative risks, and learn from failure—and it’s foundational to innovation. 

But one critical truth is often overlooked: Leaders can’t create psychological safety for others if they haven’t first cultivated it within themselves.

I learned this the hard way.

While earning my MBA at Stanford, I cofounded Embrace, a social enterprise that created a low-cost, portable incubator for premature babies in underserved communities. Our device has now helped to save over 1 million newborns. As CEO, I was praised for my vision and tenacity. I moved to India—home to over 20% of the world’s premature babies—and routinely worked 80 to 100-hour weeks.

Over the years, we saved thousands of lives. We were recognized by President Obama, received funding from Beyoncé, and were featured in media around the world.

On the outside, I appeared unstoppable.

On the inside, I was running on fumes.

One day, in the middle of a team meeting, amid an endless string of fires, I broke down in tears. Mortified, I thought I had failed as a “strong leader.” But the next day, my head of operations pulled me aside and said: “Thank you for being so open yesterday. You seem superhuman to us. You never sleep. You never stop. Seeing you be vulnerable allows us to be, too.”

He went on to share how exhausted the team was. By hiding my own fatigue and pretending to have it all together, I had unknowingly created a culture of burnout. My team didn’t feel safe to speak up or admit struggle—because their leader didn’t either.

That moment cracked something open in me.

Achievement as currency

Raised in a first-generation Taiwanese-American household, I had learned early that love was conditional and achievement was the currency that earned it. When I failed to meet expectations, I was punished—sometimes violently. So I became a perfectionist. I learned to work harder, aim higher, and never show weakness. As a leader, I held my team to the same impossible standards I held myself to. I avoided discomfort, rewarded overwork, and unintentionally reinforced burnout and emotional suppression.

When Embrace nearly collapsed after a decade of challenges, I was forced to confront the pain that had long driven me. I finally realized that feeling so powerless throughout my childhood had driven me to help the most powerless people in the world. But my drive was also fueled by fear.

Fear of not being enough.

Fear of letting others down.

Fear that if I stopped striving, I would lose my value.

Many high-achieving leaders are driven by a deep desire to make an impact—and an equally deep fear that they are not enough. From an early age, we learn that achievement earns approval, so we keep raising the bar. But the very qualities that fuel success can also become liabilities: overwork that burns out teams, perfectionism that stifles innovation, control that suffocates creativity. Over time, these behaviors create cultures where exhaustion and disengagement take root.

The antidote is not more strategy. It’s self-awareness.

As I began doing my own inner work—through leadership coaching, therapy, and mindfulness—I started to recognize the unconscious patterns that had long gone unquestioned. I learned to honor my emotions, listen to my body, and lead from a place of balance—one that makes impact not only meaningful, but sustainable.

When leaders build inner safety—by acknowledging emotions, setting boundaries, and extending compassion to themselves—they make it safe for others to do the same. That’s where empathy and authentic connection begin. It’s how trust takes root—and how cultures of innovation and resilience are built.

In a world of accelerating change, where AI is transforming industries, the leaders who will build lasting impact aren’t those who power through at all costs. They’re the ones who pause, reflect, and build safety from the inside out.

The Action Plan

So what can leaders do?

Feel your feelings—and listen to your body. Leaders often suppress uncomfortable emotions to appear strong or composed. But unprocessed feelings don’t disappear—they resurface as tension, anxiety, or burnout. When you pause to fully feel your emotions, you can lead from awareness rather than reactivity.

Your body often signals what you’re feeling before your mind catches up. Tight shoulders, shallow breathing, or fatigue are quiet cues that something needs attention. Learning to notice and respond to these signals with care strengthens emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in yourself and others.

Practice self-compassion. Research shows that self-compassion—not self-criticism—is what fuels resilience and growth. Treating yourself with the same understanding you’d offer a friend allows you to recover faster from setbacks and lead with greater empathy and authentic connection.

Cultivate self-awareness. A powerful tool for this is “parts work,” which helps you identify the different inner voices that drive you—the perfectionist, the critic, the people pleaser. When you begin to understand these parts, you can lead from your center instead of your fears. This awareness helps to cultivate inner psychological safety. Download a free parts work exercise here. 

Model vulnerability. When leaders are open about mistakes, fears, uncertainty, or difficult emotions, it creates permission for others to do the same. This builds trust and encourages psychological safety at every level. True leadership is not about control or perfection. It’s about the courage to face discomfort—in ourselves and others.

Let go of outcomes and focus on values. We’re conditioned to define success by results. But outcomes are not always within our control. Leading from your values—like compassion, service, or growth—keeps you grounded and connected to why you do the work. Outcomes may change, but values endure. They’re what sustain both purpose and mental well-being over the long run.

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