How to make the most out of your company holiday party

Any office party can be challenging, but holiday office parties are particularly stressful. After all, the season brings a set of demands—including the need to be “merry and bright” when you may not feel that way. To survive this end-of-year event (and to use it to advance your career), here are three strategies that will work wonders.

1. Use Holiday Parties as a Chance to Get to Know New People

There are good reasons to circulate broadly at your next holiday party and not to hang out with people you already know.

Clustering with friends can lead to excessive drinking, and with that comes danger to your health and safety. Staying with your pals or people you work closely with also means you won’t broaden your circle of colleagues and that you just might miss an opportunity to get to know someone who could influence your career.

Hanging out with people you know often leads to banter about how terrible the party is and how much you dislike these holiday events. This grumbling does not become you or your pals.

Instead of staying with your inner circle, use the gathering as an occasion to get to know new staffers or people you may not come in contact with during the workweek. If you do, you will be showing leadership—for it is a mark of a leader to know how to build relationships.

And by seeking out unfamiliar faces and befriending them, you will show that you have the ability to help people who may be feeling holiday anxiety or loneliness. Indeed, a study by the American Psychological Association shows that 54% of American adults feel isolated, 50% feel left out, and 50% say they lack companionship. All these signs of loneliness peak during the holidays.

2. Talk to People Who Might Be Able to Help You Advance Your Career

You will find influential people at holiday parties, so seek them out. They could include your boss or the head of your department or invited guests. Approach them and have something warm to say, without feeling that you are “kissing up.”

For example, if someone outside your department is attending, you might say, “It is great that you could join us.” Your opening to your boss or department head might simply be a positive statement such as “This is a great party.” Then, go on to say what a good year it has been for the company or the department. The point is to create a positive, upbeat message that will appeal to someone senior in your department or in your company.

Another approach is to compliment this individual regarding something he or she has done. For example, you might say, “I thought that was a strong speech you gave to our team last month. It raised some interesting goals—ones we will have to work hard to achieve.” Or you might mention that you saw your department head at a conference, and ask whether he or she enjoyed the two-day event. 

People at all levels like to know that they are liked and respected. So, focus your remarks on what they’ve accomplished or situations in which they’ve done something impressive.

They will be more interested in you if you show appreciation for them.

The point is also to move the discussion toward something you can offer to support the more senior person. So, for example, segue from something impressive they’ve done to something you can do for them, or simply share your thinking that dovetails with something they said. There is no ideal length for this conversation. But end with some kind of action or follow-up.

3. Talk to Customers

Some holiday parties are company affairs held in honor of customers. In these cases, be sure to make a fuss over them. Don’t chitchat with your colleagues and ignore your firm’s customers.

I attend lavish holiday parties each year that are hosted by our investment firm. These events have lots of good food and music. But the thing that I like most is when the principals of the company come over to talk to my husband and me, ask pointed questions about our family, and show they care about us.

The secret to customer conversations is to be warm. So you might begin with “It’s a pleasure to see you” or “So glad you could make the party.” Ask good questions. For example: “Do you have family plans for the holidays?” or “How is the family?” Beware of questions about business or questions about health. Keep your questions broad and do your best to make sure they lead to positives. You will be strengthening your company’s relationship with its customers if you initiate a discussion that shows you care about them and their families.

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