How to make your out-of-office emails a little spicier (with examples)

So, you’ve finally done it. No more putting it off, pushing through the grind, waiting for a more opportune time once things settle down. Alas, you’ve mustered up the gall to cash in on your paid vacation time. Now you have several days strung together to travel, rest, or do whatever the heck your heart desires. I love that for you.

But before you slam your work laptop shut and “Yabba dabba doo!” your ass out of the office, there’s one last thing. You’ve gotta leave behind a message letting folks know you’ll be gone. You need to draft an out-of-office message.

Out-of-office notes tend to be pretty standard—courtesy auto-replies letting folks know you’re not working, when you’ll be back, and who, if anyone, they can contact in your stead. Sometimes people add a pop of color hinting at a life outside the office. But these things generally tend to be pretty vanilla.

I, for one, wish corporate peeps got more real with this messaging. Treat these notes like early-stage Facebook status updates: Share what you’re really thinking, feeling, and experiencing. This year is already a mess; immigrants continue to be targeted by the federal government, unemployment numbers remain dismal, and it seems like everyone’s got the flu. Why not keep it 100 for whoever reaches out in the interim?

Longtime readers will remember when I presented a list of pandemic-era openers as alternatives to “I hope this email finds you well.” Here are some OOO notes I wish I had the heart to schedule. Deploy at your own risk.

• I am currently out of office, taking advantage of PTO that is technically unlimited but spiritually frowned upon.
• I am currently out of office, taking advantage of PTO that is technically unlimited but managerially frowned upon.
• I am currently out of office to recharge after running on vibes, caffeine, and anxiety for six consecutive quarters.
• I am out of office avoiding the news for my mental health. Please do not forward any think pieces.
• I am currently out of office closing the approximately 637 tabs I have open—both literally and mentally.
• I am currently out of office, wearing a quarter-zip sweater and drinking matcha. I hope this auto-reply finds you doing the same.
• I’m OOO using the gym membership I will abandon by February.
• I am currently out of office, ignoring my inbox like it’s a group chat that is doing the most while I’m trying to do the least.
• I’ll be out of the office while my outie binge-watches Severance and realizes this job feels familiar. Upon my return, the work will continue to be mysterious and important.
• I am currently out of office, unpacking last year with a licensed professional.
• I am currently out of office, pondering the spiritual meaning of “six-seven.”
• I am currently out of office, updating my résumé “just in case.”
• I am currently out of office, rewatching Sinners so I can feel something again.
• I am currently out of office but will absolutely read this message anyway and respond once my brain stops buffering.
• I am currently out of office and launching my side hustle. Please subscribe to my Substack.
• I am currently out of office, but will be bumping that new A$AP Rocky album until further notice.
• I’m OOO until my burnout is no longer a personality trait.
• I am currently out of office pivoting to my new self. Let’s table this and circle back in Q2, when I have the bandwidth to get my ducks in a row.
• I am currently out of office, but don’t expect a response as soon as I get back. I’ll need a few days to remember how to do my job.
• I am currently out of office, but unfortunately still mentally available.

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