5 secrets to effective networking, according to event planners

You’ve signed up to attend a conference or industry event, and when the day finally arrives, you probably experience some regret. Thoughts run through your head, such as “Why do I have to go?” “I have too much work to do.” “I won’t know anyone.” “I can make connections online.” 

Sound familiar? Entering a room full of strangers or, worse yet, people in your field that you admire can make you feel like you’re a kid again, walking into your first day of kindergarten. It’s intimidating, but worth it because nothing replaces live connections, says Rebecca Grinnals, cofounder of the luxury wedding and event business conference Engage! Summits. 

“You can’t put a price on the value of connecting with people meaningfully in person—we certainly saw that over the last five years,” she says. “It’s a cliché, but your net worth is your network. In-person networking is more vital than it’s ever been in this age of AI and social media.”

While online connections are important and a good first step, they’re also limiting, says Kathryn Arce, Engage! Summits cofounder. “You can miss out on the benefit of being connected to people, finding your group, and being inspired,” she says. “Everyone needs to be a part of something a little bit bigger. In-person events get you away from your office and computer. They’re like fresh air for your soul.”

Your success will depend on attitude and planning. Here are five networking tips that will help put your nerves aside and open the door for meaningful connections with others:

1. Set An Intention

Before the day arrives, decide what you want to get out of the event. In other words, don’t come without a plan, says Grinnals. 

Some conferences will provide you with a list of attendees. Other times, there will be a Facebook page set up for the conference and you may be able to see the names of people in the group. If the event hasn’t provided access to attendees, you can still review the speakers, workshop facilitators, and organizers. Then, identify three to five people you would like to meet and have a good conversation with over the course of the event. 

2. Find a Warm Connection

Once you have a list of people you hope to meet, research them on LinkedIn, social media, and news sites to see if you have anything in common that could serve as a way to connect. Maybe you both attended the same school. Or perhaps you share a friend or colleague. 

If you don’t find a commonality, you can still use what you learn as a conversation starter. For example, if they’re from Philadelphia, you can ask how they felt about the Super Bowl. “It helps to be more personal and genuine before you go into any type of business conversation,” says Arce. 

3. Be Genuine

There’s a fine line between introducing yourself and promoting yourself and leading with an elevator pitch can be off-putting, says Grinnals. 

“People often go to networking events with their chest puffed out, like a peacock,” she says. “They want to tell everybody, ‘I’m a big deal in my market,’ or ‘You should know me.’ That’s the wrong way to go about it. Nobody wants to feel sold to.” 

Instead, be authentic and vulnerable. “It’s better to come in and say, ‘How’s business been? I’ve had a couple of challenges this year and don’t know if you’ve experienced it as well,’” says Grinnals. “That immediately takes people a little off their guard and allows for a much more meaningful conversation and connection.” 

You can also ask for advice. “Instead of being another person trying to pitch their business, it’s refreshing and unexpected when someone says, ‘I’m a big fan of your work. This is something I’m struggling with and wondered if you’ve got any advice?’” adds Grinnals. “Everyone loves to be asked for advice. They don’t love to be asked for their business right off the bat.” 

Offering help can also be a powerful way to connect. “Sometimes people feel like, ‘I’ve made an investment, and so I am just here to receive,’” says Grinnals. “An easy icebreaker is, ‘Is there anything I can help you with? Is there anybody I could introduce you to?’ The more you help other people achieve their goals, the more you’re going to feel good and have your goals achieved as well.”

4. Be Open 

It’s common to go into a conference focusing on what your return on investment needs to be, but this opens the door to leaving disappointed. Have a plan and a target list of connections but stay open to the organic meetings that can happen, too.

“People too often focus on the power players or the movers and shakers in an industry, hoping they will crack open a new opportunity or change you and your business forever, but that’s not always true,” says Grinnals. “More often than not, it is the people that you least expect that you may be sitting next to on a shuttle ride or being seated next to in a session that actually turn out to be the most valuable people.” 

Strike up conversations without expectation of what anyone can do for you, says Arce. “There needs to be a nice balance of being open and letting things happen in the moment,” she says.

5. Follow Up

It’s easy to leave a conference and move on with your life. However, intentional and thoughtful follow-up is the key to building your network. After the event, carve out time to reach out to interesting connections but be mindful of not spamming people.

“Take careful notes each day about who you met,” says Grinnals. If you want to connect with the speaker, for example, you could send a follow up email specifically calling out something they said that was meaningful to you. If it’s someone you spoke with, recall a part of the conversation you remembered. Be specific, personal, and thoughtful, as opposed to just saying, ‘It was great meeting you.’”

Don’t expect to go to one event and walk away with a lot of connections, answers, or business. That’s not the purpose, says Grinnals. “The purpose is to start conversations with people and make initial connections,” she says. “Like anything in life, consistency is key. Plant the seeds and water them. Networking is a long game.” 

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