No one knows how to do layoffs. The psychology secrets to doing it humanely

Laying people off takes its toll. 

“Going back 25 years plus ago, I can still remember every situation that I had to do it in,” says Robert Kovach, a work psychologist and former corporate executive.

The experience sticks with you, he says. Because it’s not just about “operational stress: Have I filled out the forms? Made the calls?” It’s also filled with “moral stress,” he adds. 

“Even when the decision is necessary, it can feel like a violation of your own personal values.” 

People laying off their coworkers often feel a clash between their responsibility to their company and their responsibility to be a good person to the people they’re laying off—particularly because layoffs are about a company needing to downsize, not always about the individual employee’s poor performance. 

These feelings have been coming up a lot lately, with layoffs reaching a high in 2025, and 2026 already being off to a layoffs-filled start, with Amazon, Pinterest, UPS, Home Depot, Dow, and others announcing cuts so far. 

While getting laid off can of course be devastating, there’s a big emotional challenge for the people who must do the laying off, as well. 

“How do you [show] respect [for] someone when you know you’re about to mess up their life?” Kovach asks. Though you may get feedback from higher-ups that you shouldn’t feel bad for letting someone go because it’s “just business,” you know deep down, that it’s not. 

“It’s all very personal,” Kovach says. 

Fast Company spoke with several mental health experts about the psychological underpinnings of having to lay someone off at work: the anxiety leading up to the event, the language to use during the moment of truth, and the guilt-provoking aftermath. 

Maintaining composure throughout is key—but how do you? Like Kovach says: You’re about to mess up someone’s life.

Prepare

“Being the person who has to deliver the news can be deeply distressing,” says clinical psychologist Melanie McNally. “Psychologically, many people experience anxiety, guilt, and even a sense of grief.”

Approach a layoff meeting with “a clear idea of how you want to handle it,” says Victor Lipman, a Psychology Today contributor who provides coaching on mindful management at work. This doesn’t necessarily mean having a script ready, as that can come off robotic or impersonal, but lay out some key talking points you need to hit during the conversation. These might stem from organizational obligations. 

“Consult with the appropriate powers that be,” says Lipman, whether that’s human resources or the company’s legal department. You may be obligated to make certain statements about severance or explain the reason for layoffs in a certain way. It’s worth making sure those points are covered not just to fulfill the duties to your organization, but also to add some predictability to an otherwise unpredictable situation.

You may also want to turn to colleagues for moral support. “Preparing emotionally might involve talking with a trusted colleague or supervisor,” says McNally. HR and mental health providers might also be available at your company to help with layoff prep.

Ultimately, to go into a layoff meeting prepared, “it’s important to acknowledge and validate your own feelings first,” says McNally. One way to do that, says Kovach, is to “name that this is going to be tough.” 

Don’t pretend that you’re a robot—accept the emotional component and choose to lean into the empathy that comes with it. 

Be direct

Everyone knows that there is a wrong way to lay someone off.

When former Google employee Vivek Gulati prepared for a meeting one morning in January 2023, he checked his email to find an announcement that the company would conduct 12,000 layoffs. (At least this email was sent on purpose—just last month, Amazon accidentally sent employees an email announcing a round of global layoffs, which they later confirmed would indeed take place.) The next email in Gulati’s inbox contained his personal layoff notice. In a story he wrote about this experience for Harvard Business Review, Gulati also shares how his manager learned about his layoff.

“He had tried to enter an office building, and his badge didn’t work,” Gulati writes. “It was a rough way to find out.”

This is why mental health experts recommend conducting layoffs in person. 

“Employees deserve personal communication,” says Lipman. Laying someone off face-to-face exhibits emotional maturity in a company’s leadership.

For the person conducting the layoff, however, the temptation to do so at a distance is understandable. By using text or email, you won’t have to see the person break down; you won’t be faced with trying to comfort them in a situation where you can’t provide much assurance. 

Kovach compares these at-a-distance layoffs to the studies from the 1960s where participants were told they were tasked with administering electric shocks to people they couldn’t see in another room. It was much easier to knowingly cause someone harm when the administrator didn’t witness it.

While you should be physically present to lay someone off, it’s best if no one else is. “Ideally, layoffs should be conducted in a private, neutral space, like your office or a quiet meeting room,” says McNally.

Be clear and direct. McNally suggests avoiding euphemisms, which might “confuse or minimize the situation.” For instance, you might feel compelled to cushion the blow with something like, “We’re going through a rough time financially now at the company, but if things turn around, I’d love for you to get your job back.” That likely doesn’t represent a promise you can keep. “You want it to be an efficient meeting,” Lipman says, one that doesn’t heighten existing emotional distress or provide false hope.

Zoom can constitute such a private, neutral space if it’s facilitating a one-on-one meeting. This work for layoffs when that’s the usual way you communicate with an employee, but if you’re both working at a physical office, it’s best to eschew video calls in this tense moment. (And of course, mass firings over Zoom never go well, yet continue to be part of many big firms’ MO for laying people off.)

Also: don’t bash the company. You’re still management, Lipman says, and need to act professionally.

Lipman suggests saying something like, “I’m sorry to see you go. I’ve enjoyed working with you, but this is just something that has to be done.” While Kovach acknowledges certain enterprises might offer scripts to ensure everyone losing their jobs get treated the same (for legal and/or policy reasons), it’s okay to massage that script into your own words for a personal touch.

At the organizational level, companies should give transparency about why the layoffs are taking place: was a particular department underperforming? Did a new product fail to meet revenue goals? Companies can also offer mental health resources for employees conducting layoffs, whether that’s in-house or via referrals. Also, the timing of layoffs should be well thought out and diligently coordinated—no one should find out they’re jobless because their key card suddenly doesn’t work.

Ready for reactions

“Calmness can be contagious, as can agitation,” Lipman says.

Bad reactions to getting laid off “run the gamut,” says Kovach. From tears to physical outbursts to even suicidal ideation, responses reflect the fact that losing a job is a massive, detrimental shakeup to someone’s life and well-being.

“It can fuel what somebody already believes about themselves, so they can slip into a narrative of ‘I just wasn’t worth keeping,’” says social worker Yvonne Castañeda. This is why an explanation of “it’s not you; it’s the company” can be so important.

When encountering emotions from employees like shock, anger, sadness, anxiety, or “even relief,” McNally suggests, the best practice is to “allow space for these emotions and don’t try to ‘fix’ them right away.” That’s because you won’t be able to. 

Instead, take the time to listen to the employee, and validate their feelings in that moment. Provide support resources where you can, either from within your company or an outside trusted job placement organization, and give concrete details about severance packages. You can also encourage those who’ve been laid off “to reach out to family, friends, or mental health professionals,” McNally says.

Not everyone handles these emotions calmly, even if you exude calm while conducting the layoff. “People are very capable of making a scene in a layoff situation,” says Lipman. “You want to be sure you have some backup in case anything goes wrong”—security, if it comes to that.

Then there’s dealing with your own guilt for having to lay off a coworker.

Maybe this person’s also a friend—someone with whom you’ve shared successes and failures at work, and whose families you’ve maybe barbecued with on Sunday afternoons. 

“It’s normal to feel guilt, sadness, or even anger after laying someone off,” McNally says. 

Reflecting on what took place, either alone, with friends, or with a mental health professional, can help process these emotions, as can generally practicing self-care, like getting enough sleep and exercise.

At the end of your day, “reassure yourself that this was something you had to do in the management role that you were in,” Lipman says. 

If you offered empathy and clarity during a layoff—then it’s better you conducted it, than someone who considered it “just business.”

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