How can I get over decision paralysis?

Welcome to Pressing Questions, Fast Company’s work-life advice column. Every week, deputy editor Kathleen Davis, host of The New Way We Work podcast, will answer the biggest and most pressing workplace questions.

Q: How can I get over decision paralysis?

A: I feel this one. I think we all do. By most estimates, the average person makes around 35,000 decisions per day. Most of those are small choices like what to wear, what to have for lunch, what to post on social media. Hopefully you’re not paralyzed by those choices. But you also shouldn’t discount them completely. If you spend too much time mulling over the less consequential parts of life, you can end up with decision fatigue.

Decision fatigue leaves your brain too tired to make the choices that really matter. It’s why some of the most successful people either automate or outsource those thousands of little choices (and why former President Obama always wore the same types of suits).

After you cut down on the mental load of those thousands of small choices, you will hopefully have a bit more space to think about life’s big decisions: Should you leave your job? Should you get divorced? Should you have a child? Where should you go on vacation?

Narrow your options 

That last example might not seem as high stakes, but it serves as a good example of one of the things that makes people feel stuck in decision-making: too many choices.

When your options are unlimited, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and want to give up. Here it might help to narrow it down by thinking about what time of year you are traveling, what type of trip you want, your budget, who is traveling with you, if you want to fly or drive, etc. Hone down those smaller choices and you’ll be left with far fewer options.

Ask for impartial advice

In the vacation example, you probably want to get the input of the other people you are travelling with. With other decisions that impact others in your life, like job change or moving, factoring in the needs and opinions of those impacted is certainly important. But, after you have that information, if the final choice is yours, you can still feel stuck. That’s when it might be good to ask someone who doesn’t have a stake in the outcome.

Trying to decide on the best all inclusive resort for a spring break trip? Post the question in your local parenting group. Trying to decide which couch would look best in your living room? Post the pictures side by side and let people vote. Trying to decide if you should change careers? Talk to a friend who knows you well.

Ask yourself the right questions

I love a good pro/con list, and it’s a staple of decision-making. The problem is it weighs everything equally. When deciding to move, for example, the pro of having a bigger yard isn’t really comparable to the con of adding an hour to your commute or leaving your kid’s beloved school. That’s why asking yourself questions that probe a little deeper can help you arrive at a better decision. Try questions like: 

• Does this take you closer to your goals?
• How do you think you’ll feel about this decision in five years?
• Is this something that you think you “should” do vs. something that you actually want to do? 

Check your gut (and your whole body)

Another good piece of advice when it comes to decision-making? Pretend that you’ve made your choice and sit with it for a few hours or overnight (the classic “sleep on it” approach). If you imagine you’ve already told your boss that you quit and you feel lighter, it’s a pretty good indication of what you should do.
When a decision is important, you can feel it physically. Leadership consultant Diana Chapman says the best decisions are accompanied by a “whole-body ‘yes‘”: When you’ve made the best decision you feel it in your whole body—head, heart, and gut.

Still can’t decide? Here’s some more advice:

• 3 simple ways to become less anxious and more decisive
• Try these neuroscience-backed tactics to train your brain to make better decisions
• Your ultimate decision-making guide to help you make better choices faster
• 5 ways to prevent decision fatigue from ruining your productivity

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