Should partnered people give their ‘work spouse’ a Valentine?

Maybe you first bonded over shared workplace frustrations. You gradually started finding each other every lunch break and synchronizing trips to the coffee machine. Eventually they become a confidant for venting about your real life outside of work. 

They become your work spouse.

And if you find yourself strolling the greeting card aisle sometime today, you may even feel compelled to get this person in your life a trinket for celebrating the most romantic day of the year. Turns out, there are options available.

“For my work wife on Valentines day,” one option reads from Card Factory. “I’ve finally found someone just as inappropriate as me!” 

A card to show appreciation for your work spouse on Valentine’s Day might seem like a sweet gesture. But if you have an actual spouse or partner waiting at home. . .they might think differently.  

“Im sorry,” one TikTok creator posted after spotting the card in the wild, “but the argument that would ensue if my partner came home from work with one of these cards from his colleague on Valentine’s day.”

“I’m already mad thinking about it,” one user commented. 

The video quickly racked up almost 700,000 views and hundreds of comments. 

Another quipped: “I didn’t know card factory even sold divorce papers.”

A third wrote: “the person who designed them cards just LIVES to stir up drama, i just know it.”

While honoring a colleague on Valentine’s Day might be taking things a little far if you’re otherwise spoken for, the idea of a work wife or work husband has been a feature of American offices for decades. It’s also been much-parodied online, with the overly flirtatious colleague stereotype a trigger for many.  

“I’m not even married but I’m already planning an argument with my husband,” one comment under a viral skit read. 

“I punched my phone by reflex,” another added. 

The boundaries of the work spouse relationship can get blurry. It’s by nature more intimate from other workplace relationships, but it must remain strictly platonic. Some scholars have argued that the connection actually sits somewhere between friendship and romance. 

“Having lunch with my work wife,” one TikTok creator posted. “Hoping my ‘wife wife’ doesn’t find out.”

Of course, having close friendships at work is no bad thing. In fact, it’s good for both productivity and performance. 

According to a new study from KPMG, employees said that having workplace friendships increases their motivation to go above and beyond their job description. More than half (57%) would even take a salary 10% below market rate if it meant being able to have close friends at work. 

But labeling someone other than your spouse your “wife” or “husband”, however innocently, can easily spiral into conflict, especially given the close proximity that working together necessitates. A 2023 Newsweek poll found that 45% of adults in the U.S. don’t think it’s appropriate to have a work spouse. Only 21% deemed it okay. 

Having a work spouse is one thing. But getting them a Valentine’s Day card if you have an actual spouse at home? That might be a one-way ticket to the doghouse.

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