What I’ve learned about motherhood and the myth of work-life balance

The question came innocently enough: What do you want to be when you grow up? Lindsay’s daughter, after a brief pause, looked up and confidently replied, “I want to be a client.”

The simplicity of the answer hid the complexity of what she had observed: The clients always seemed to get the very best version of her mother. In her daughter’s young mind, being a client meant holding a special place—one that commands focus, care, and an unwavering commitment.

As two mothers navigating full-time legal careers, that moment was not lost on either of us. It reveals a truth that is often glossed over in the narratives about working women, especially those of us balancing professional intensity with parenting. Beneath the thin veneer of “having it all,” we know all too well the quiet sacrifices and compromises that characterize our balancing act. The spotlight may be on our professional accomplishments, but in the shadows our children wait patiently for our attention, often competing with the demands of a profession that do not easily relent.

The Weight of Expectation

Too often the complexities of ambition, motherhood, and professional duty are distilled into stereotypes that seek to diminish rather than dignify. It’s a familiar story—the notion that a woman with power and responsibility must inevitably be lacking elsewhere. Or that her identity as a mother or partner is somehow contrary to her professional persona. These narratives, however veiled, carry weight.

But let’s say what that really means. It means that the diligence and tenacity we bring to our careers and our clients are identical to the dedication we offer to our families. It means that the long hours spent advocating for clients are juxtaposed with the quiet moments at home, where the stakes are equally high, even if measured in hugs rather than verdicts. It means that, despite the portrayal of women in leadership as one-dimensional, we are more. We are multifaceted, resilient, and deeply invested in both our professions and our roles as mothers.

Living with the Tension

The path of a working mother demands a constant recalibration of priorities where both career and family vie for equal attention and each carries its own form of guilt. The notion of “balance” is a fallacy. At least that’s what we’ve learned from years of trying to juggle our careers and motherhood. Instead, it’s a constant series of trade-offs and compromises leading us to understand that each day is unique.

There’s no neat division between “work” and “life” anymore. Mornings usually start early, working before the rest of the house wakes up. We often work with one eye on the clock, calculating the minutes until we sprint from the office to catch a school or sport event.

Or days when there’s a sick child and no available caregiver, the idea of balance seems laughable. This has forced us to rethink how we define success—not by perfection but by flexibility and resilience. It’s about being okay with the days that feel like controlled chaos and accepting that sometimes one part of life will have to be put on pause for the other.

When our daughters see us in action—they don’t just witness the power, grace, and poise required of our profession; they see the weight of that responsibility and the effort and dedication it takes to give both our clients and our children the best of us.

The Lessons We Teach

As children we dreamed of becoming lawyers, mothers, or both, imagining these roles as ultimate markers of success and happiness. Our daughters, however, have grown up watching us navigate the realities of those choices and their dreams for us are different.

If a child believes happiness comes from being in a position where others give their full attention, then maybe that’s a mirror to our own internal narratives—the idea that to be happy we must be fully attended to, in control, or on the receiving end of care. But our journey has taught us that happiness, real happiness, isn’t about being a client. It’s not about receiving—it’s about the pursuit itself, the constant striving to give our best to both our careers and our children.

So while our daughters might want to be “clients” today, we hope they understand, over time, that true fulfillment comes not from being at the center of attention, but from living and thriving with the tension.

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