Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My boss sent me a bereavement gift, then demanded to know how I felt when I received it Your advice and everyone’s comments really helped me get some perspective on the issue. I took your advice and sent a brief thank-you to the boss for the bereavement gift, saying I hoped my colleagues had passed on my appreciation at the time. I decided to treat the weird tone of the boss’s initial email as likely ChatGPT / Autocomplete / Inbox-wrangling-fatigue strangeness and definite…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was asked out on LinkedIn (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update. It was really interesting seeing the commentariat split. I come from a family with a lot of public and semi-public figures (think your local news station’s traffic guy rather than, like, celebrity nepo baby) and unfortunately, we’ve dealt with actual stalkers that required police involvement before, so I’ll admit to being on higher alert to bei…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was inheriting an employee who causes chaos wherever they go? Here’s the update. Thank you so much for taking my question several months ago about having a “chaos employee” forced upon my department. I have an update and a feeling there will likely be a more dramatic addition some years down the road. I ended up talking my department out of taking on Pat! We dodged the bullet! I didn’t mention to my super…

A reader writes: Two years ago, I began managing Craig, who had been doing the same tasks day in and out for a decade. He hadn’t adapted to new technology, best practices, or industry trends. My first order of business was to coach him and challenge him to grow and learn. For more than a year, we built up a great trajectory. People saw how much his work improved and commented on it frequently, and said he seemed revitalized in many ways. His progress gave me a lot of hope that he could become good at the modern demands of his role. Then about six months ago, Craig suddenly reverted to his old patterns. It was as if the prior year of progress got completely wiped out. On…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose employee was demoralized after a promotion was dangled in front her and then yanked away (#3 at the link)? Here’s the update. I met with Maple, the head of our office, and was able to uncover the truth about why they decided not to promote Joy (though it took some deeper questioning to get to it). It was your third possibility: Maple had concerns with Joy during the decision-making process. Maple felt th…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My staff found me bound and gagged after a robbery I’m a 32-year-old woman who was recently made manager of a small financial firm. Being fairly young, I’ve had to overcome skepticism and sexism from my staff, but after three months I’ve established a reputation for being efficient, fair, and a bit stern. It’s worked, I’m respected, and we all get along very well. Several mornings a week, I arrive very early for some alone time. Last Thursday, I arrived at 7 a.m., (we open at 10), and was “greeted” by a couple of thugs who demanded money, bank car…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. How do I manage petty behavior between two employees who dislike each other? For context, I am not the manager of either of these employees, just an innocent bystander trying to help the manager figure this out. The feedback that was given to both of these employees was relatively similar to what you suggested. Basically, the manager focused not on the specific incidents, but instead on telling these employees that the expectation is that they treat all coworkers with profe…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was afraid of flying and and their job required a lot of travel? Here’s the update. Many commenters wondered why friends, family and mentors recommended I accept the new job. Despite the travel, it had clear benefits over my prior position. To name a few, I would be paid about $17k more base salary, would have a 5% bigger bonus, a better title, more responsibilities and I’d be fully remote. I had also declined another offer that had similar compensation but would’ve required three days in offic…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asking whether she had to share her story on a “women in industry” panel? Here’s the update. So … I ended up doing the panel. I talked to multiple trusted women at work and outside of work, who almost always encouraged me to do it, even if just for the experience and to showcase myself. For what it’s worth (now that the panel is over), I work in the construction industry as a superintendent. My job is to organ…

A reader writes: I recently realized that one of the managers who reports to me, Blake, uses abusive language with his employees. Blake’s employee fear that if he knows they have reported this to me, it will create a further problem for them. I need help on how to give feedback to Blake without giving him the feeling that I came to know this from his team members. I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Other questions I’m answering there today include: Interviewing with the team I’…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose boss was pushing them to fundraise from their family and friends and tap their personal network for prizes for raffles? Here’s the update. In the months during which my boss was pressuring me to solicit gifts, I managed to procure exactly one in-kind gift from a local business I frequent, and I was so awkward doing it. There’s a local yarn shop that I frequent, so I intended to ask the owner for a donati…

The final votes are in, and the CEO keeps asking young male employees to try her breast milk won the Worst Boss of 2025 Award, with 57% of the vote in the final match-up. Coming in second, the company that made summer interns wear bikinis captured 43% of the vote. The runners-up, who all managed to be pretty terrible themselves: my boss told me to stop having sex with my boyfriend or quit my job boss says it’s unacceptable not to meet all deadlines, no matter how unreasonable my boss made me verify that I’m really exercising I was written up for having a visible thong outside of work can I ask my boss not to scream at me with her door open? my boss said I’m threat…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Coworkers are leaving love notes for each other I recently started working in a high-end retail setting selling a luxury item. The team that I’m working with seems really great for the most part, except for this one young couple who can’t seem to keep their private lives out of the workplace. It’s not enough that everyone knows that they’re dating; one of them has begun taping small love notes to cash registers that are shared between 5-6 of us, in full view of our customers. Now in fairness, the notes are usually pretty short and subtle (“Happy T…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – December 13-14, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My office has a wall of shame with the names of people who are late or out sick We had a Very Ballsy coworker bring it up in a staff meeting, demanding to know whether they preferred we infect all the people, children, and families we worked with every day in order to avoid being shamed for our own illness. (Yes, this was a preschool/daycare.) She also pointedly asked why *management* who called out sick or were otherwise not present were not included on the list. They did …

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 12, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the final round of the Worst Boss of 2025 voting. We’ve narrowed the pool from eight nominees to two (see results from the first round and second round). The two finalists go head-to-head below. A Frightful Face-Off – The Nominees: the CEO keeps asking young male employees to try her breast milk my company makes summer interns wear bikinis If the voting isn’t showing up for you, you can also vote directly here. The post vote for the worst boss of 2025: the finals appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My boss loves being told she’s beautiful I’m afraid the ritual with the boss continues. I couldn’t find any way to say that the team might feel pressure to compliment her appearance without making it sound like I didn’t think she was good-looking. So I just caved to the pressure and decided to start talking up her career and telling her she’d be great for more senior roles so it doesn’…

It’s time to vote on the worst boss of the year! Today we’ll vote for the worst boss in each of four match-ups. On Wednesday, the winners will go head-to-head with each other. On Friday, we’ll vote on the finalists. The winner will be crowned next Monday. Voting in this round closes at 11:59 pm ET on Tuesday. 1. A Dreadful Duo – The Nominees: my boss told me to stop having sex with my boyfriend or quit my job boss says it’s unacceptable not to meet all deadlines, no matter how unreasonable 2. A Perfidious Pair – The Nominees: my boss made me verify that I’m really exercising the CEO keeps asking young male employees to try her breast milk 3. A Terrible Twosom…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose coworker was making their friend break-up really weird? Here’s the update. I have a major update to my previous letter. Last week, this coworker (Mr. Collins) got fired. He had another extremely similar falling-out with another female coworker (let’s call her Jane) in June, and even more women started comparing notes. Jane started working with us around the time that Mr. Collins and I fell out and they s…

A reader writes: I hired a promising junior employee who seemed polite and reasonable during his interview. However, now that he is my employee, he constantly condescends to me and says things that come across in a belittling way. Here are some examples: Me: “Bob, I was going to train you on how to do X today.” Bob, with a dismissive laugh: “Yeah, I was wondering when you were going to get to that.” Me: “Bob, has anyone shown you how to do Y yet?” Bob, with a dismissive laugh and a shrug: “How hard can it be?” Me: “I just noticed an issue with the X documentation and wanted to make sure I corrected that so you have the right information.” Bob, with a dismissive lau…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose company said it was “best practice” to do layoffs over email? The first update was here, and here’s the latest. Two years later and I have a doozy of an update about this company. So, after the last letter, I was working at a new company that happened to employ a lot of people who had left the Email Layoffers. We kept in touch with a lot of people at that company and it was pretty quiet for a year or so…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. I saw my coworker buying a beer during work hours I saw a coworker at the pharmacy near our office this morning (9:45 a.m.) buying a 40-ounce can of beer. I was confused at first and I couldn’t figure out what to make out of it, but then I also remembered that this coworker always falls asleep in meetings. I wasn’t sure if I should have approached her (I didn’t want her to think I’m being nosy). I do not want to jump to conclusions because I also thought she might have bought the beer for someone else (i.e., a homeless person in NYC or whatever). …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose partner was angry about how she handled harassment at work? Here’s the update. Addressing the domestic violence situation: following my post, we took more than a month away from each other. I stayed in our flat, he stayed with a friend and we had zero contact during this time. About 40 days in, my partner came home (as agreed), but he works away a lot so he booked jobs to be away Mon-Fri for four weeks a…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My boss watches me by video call while I work I’m a 100% teleworker in the research field, which I love. The problem is my boss believes mentoring me means watching me via video call as I work. I’ve asked my boss to stop (firmly but nicely) and reported it to my boss’s supervisor who was horrified. Even our supreme boss stepped in, but not much has changed. She has lessened up slightly but now complains she can’t mentor me right because of my “complaining.” Any advice on how to reinforce some boundaries? Is this just a typical part of remote work…