Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. We have to demote a really dedicated manager I’m involved in a small, local nonprofit animal shelter. I started as a volunteer and am now an officer of the board. Two years ago, our very competent office manager quit. After two crash-and-burn failed hires, one of our part-time kennel help wanted to try to step up into the position. On a trial basis. Over a year ago. And while she was never officially given the job, things just … limped along. Kasie is awesome in many ways, great with people and incredible with the animals. But she lacks the initiative and judgement to successfully fill this role. I will add she is open…

In the comment section on a recent letter from someone whose coworkers were upset about her work anniversary gift, there was a lot of discussion about corporate gift programs. I heard from a reader who works for one of the larger companies that organizes these programs, and they generously offered to answer questions about it. Here’s our interview. To start, what are these programs all about, and how do rewards and recognition companies like yours fit in? Rewards and recognition falls under the bigger HR tech umbrella. Other things under the umbrella include incentives, promotional items, wellness programs, payroll, benefits, and HRIS that does pretty much everything. S…

A reader writes: My office is returning to a physical space in the fall and they are giving managers a lot of leeway to decide on remote/hybrid work. I manage eight people on my team and I know a number of them would be happy to never come into the office again. They have all proven themselves more than capable to work from home. However, I personally work best when I can see/talk with people in person, at least periodically. What balance can I strike between giving my team what they want and what I need in my own work style? I would love to ask each team member to come in at least once every 1-2 weeks, but unless there’s a true need is that out of line? I guess my ques…

A reader writes: In 30 years, I have been late to work twice. The first time, management used my emergency contact number to track me down when I was one hour late. I believe this was a misuse of my personal information, and I removed this contact information from the company systems. Now, years later, it has happened again. My manager sent police to my home for a “wellness check” because I was two hours late. In this day and age, when federal agencies are claiming that they can come into your home without a warrant, it’s more than a bit alarming to see police at one’s door. Is this even remotely acceptable? I do realize that some employers will simply terminate on a …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Our new work stations will be outside our building’s security screening I work in a government office, in a building that does full security screening of every person who comes in, with metal detectors and an x-ray machine for their bags. My department does some cashiering. As part of renovations to the building, they are adding cashier stations to our office that will be pre-security, meaning people can come directly to us off the street with no screening. We’re assured these stations will operate as check-only, no cash, but I’m still nervous about doing this. I’ve expressed my concerns but have been told our departm…

It’s Valentine’s Day on Saturday so let’s talk about workplace romance. Did you spot coworkers having a secret affair without realizing how obvious they were being? Did your boss date your dad and try to get you to go to couples therapy with them? Did you spend a ton of time mediating between two employees who hated each other and then they ended up dating? Was your coworker always making out with his girlfriend at work? Did your colleague leave a rambling, drunken message for his secret office girlfriend — but accidentally leave it on the boss’s voicemail instead? Let’s discuss workplace romance gone both wrong and right. The post let’s discuss workplace romance gone w…

Over the years, we’ve had many letters about animals at work. Here are some of them. my employee doesn’t think we’re doing enough about bears at work (and the update) people only ask me about the ducks I work with (with a video in the update!) the pumpkin-eating cat my office got us turtles to take care of and bring home on weekends my office is infested with wasps our building is full of bats, sewer smells, moths, and more an unexpected office bird how much can I pet my cat on video calls? (and the update) my colleague is allergic to me because of my cats actual llamas head of HR is waging a pressure campaign to make me adopt a puppy my VP of HR says my servi…

A reader writes: I was offered a job last week, which was going to require a 2.5-hour move. I accepted as it’s a field I love and a company ownership I had worked for previously, just not at this location. Yesterday the job fell through because the expected job salary budget didn’t come through. At all. I had been waiting on paperwork to 100% make my hiring official. I even had a start date, which had been reiterated last week when they were waiting for the national leadership to send over the papers. I am lucky that I was able to reverse my resignation at my current job. I’m also lucky that I figure I’m only out about $100. I had applied for and been accepted for an a…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. A medical tech repeatedly proselytized to me An experience I had recently with a medical provider has me wondering if what I felt to be inappropriate and unprofessional is a behavior worth raising with my doctor, who owns the practice. I live in area of the south where most people assume that everyone is Christian and believes in God — the kind of place where wishing someone “Happy Holidays” is likely to result in a tonally aggressive reply of “Merry Christmas.” Usually I let religious speak in various businesses just roll off me. I recently underwent TMS treatment for chronic, major depression. As part of that, I re…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 13, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Green Dot, by Madeleine Gray. Bored out of her mind in a job as a comment moderator, a young woman trying to figure out life gets sucked into an affair with an older, married colleague. You will be infuriated with her choices, but it’s smart and funny and it will make you so, so glad to no longer be 24. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – February 14-15, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

I’m off for the holiday. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My coworker calls me his “work wife” A couple of months ago, I joined a new team at work, in a role that is somewhat isolated from the rest of the group. So I was glad when another junior staff member who had joined the team a bit earlier reached out and showed me the ropes. As we grew more friendly, we also started sitting next to one another (our office has open seating with no assigned desks), and chatting occasionally during the day. Our remarks were always casual, and though they were not strictly work-related, we never discussed deep …

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2020. A reader writes: I’ve worked for four years in a research laboratory and my supervisor is an associate professor. Her husband is a professor and a director of the research group (and that’s how she easily got her position). As part of standard procedure, the university requires all employees to complete what is called a performance development review. In our meeting, she highlighted two development goals. One was to improve individual conflict management skills by reflecting on all instances of conflicts and how those can be handled better. The second was to impro…

A reader asks: Last fall, I left a beloved job and assisted them in hiring two people to replace me. One was an internal hire, the other required an outside interview process. We received over 50 applications, narrowed it down to 13 phone interviews, then seven in-person interviews, and finally made a very satisfying hiring decision. At each step along the way, I sent out polite rejection emails to those who didn’t make the next level. It was very professional, and all candidates but one reacted very well. However, one gentleman who was not granted an interview wrote back saying that since he was “clearly overqualified for such a position,” he “would have at least appre…

I’m off sick, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2016. A reader writes: I’m currently interviewing for a new position with a company that works remotely. Over the past two weeks, I’ve had 10+ video calls with every member of the small team, along with a bunch of unpaid work tests that have included everything from client proposals to personality tests. It’s starting to feel like a full-time job just interviewing with them. I was willing to do all of this because the company is one that I know well with a social mission that I really believe in. I was even willing to accept that they are paying a good $20k below what is normal. I…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker reports the smallest interactions to HR I have a new coworker, Fran, who has not been fitting in with the vibe at work. She seems to have very thin skin, and at any perceived slight, will report coworkers or leaders to HR. Just today, I had an interaction that would have been standard and unmemorable with any other coworker. I was working next to Fran. She asked me a question, and I gave a very calm and direct answer. Fran said she hasn’t performed this particular task before, and to please give her some grace. I didn’t respond, and that was the end of the interaction. Not long after, I was pulled into the of…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. We fostered and then quickly adopted Laurie in 2020, during the first week of the pandemic. He hid behind some books on a bookcase for three days, but he relaxed once he discovered there were other cats in the house. It turned out he loved other cats. We had named him after the neighbor boy from Little Women before realizing that, just like his namesake, he yearned to be part of a big family. Fortunately, he was! He was an aggressive cuddler; he loved being in my lap, but his favorite thing in the world wa…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. How common is swearing at work? (#2 at the link) I always thought that if you answered a question for me, I would engage with the commentariat and also send in an update! But when I saw the post was up, I was experiencing severe pregnancy-induced anxiety … and promptly avoided the site for around a year. Today I went and looked at the published post for the very first time. (And I felt like the responses from everyone were actually quite lovely, so I don’t know what I was an…

A reader writes: I’ve become very good friends both in and out of work with a small group of colleagues (four total). This question is about one of them, Samantha. Samantha has always been a bit dry and sarcastic in her sense of humor. Over the past several months, however, she has become increasingly, well, mean. Samantha is shockingly blunt in meetings, often pulls faces that show her keen displeasure, and has been condescending (in person and in emails) to support staff. While she is sometimes right in her complaints, her delivery is frankly atrocious. While everyone complains about work, she seems to really hate it here. At the same time, though, we work in a niche…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss did a racist impression of a coworker I’m on a small, mostly autonomous support team in a medium-sized company. We had company-wide training yesterday. My coworker Amy couldn’t attend in person because of a winter storm/flight situation. Amy is black, and the other three of us are white. My team, and many others, went to a hotel bar after the training. After several beers, my boss Fergus quoted Amy — in poor English, with a thick, fake African (think: Nigerian) accent. Amy has a bit of a (South African) accent and is self conscious about it, which Fergus knows, and has no issues with English. It went over like…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 20, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I have a few employees who have told us they do not celebrate birthdays, but they do sit to eat the lunch the company buys for the birthday person and then leave when it’s time to sing “happy birthday.” (One of them asks for cake after everyone goes back to work.) These same employees say they do not observe holidays and do not attend parties (like the employee Christmas party), but they say they can receive the Christmas bonus that the company gives out. Would the company be in the wrong not to invite them to the lunch or give them a monetary Christmas bonus since we are trying to comply with their religious beliefs? Yes, the company would be 100% in…

A reader writes: I’ve been job searching for a few months now. I just got a call from HR at an organization I applied to a few weeks ago asking me if they had a few minutes to chat — they wanted to go through the position with me, give me some quick updates on the role, and let me know the salary so they could see if I still wanted to be considered. I told them of course, but I only had 15 minutes before a meeting. They said that was fine. Cut to: they’re asking me about my background, my current role, my strengths and weaknesses, what I’m looking for in a new role, and why I’m excited about their mission. It became a 25-minute first round interview. Luckily, I was at a…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I live in a lovely touristy small city with a university. It’s a great place to live, with lots of services and things to do for its size. I have a job in my field which I still enjoy in some ways, but I’ve been in it for 10 years and am terribly bored. I’ve really pushed the boundaries of my position and am feeling so stuck. I’ve been actively applying in town for three years. It’s rare that positions come up, and when they do, they are inundated with candidates. Our city is known for having a “scenery tax” and having wildly educated baristas. So in the past year, I’ve started applying to positions in diffe…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee was upset they had to use PTO for bereavement leave A few years ago, I worked at a large nonprofit that had generous PTO, but no other “buckets” of time. Sick, vacation, family care, all time off fell under PTO. One of my reports was caring for a terminally ill relative. Our working relationship was a bit tense as I was having productivity issues from this person, but I tried to separate those conversations and be supportive and offered them any time off they needed (though minimal to none was taken that I can remember.) Unfortunately, the family member passed. I told them to take all the time they needed. I …