Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I recently made it through to the final interview round for a job I was very excited about. I’ve been in my current position without a clear path to promotion long enough to have been eyeing the exits for a while, and finally I found myself in a hiring process that felt like it was going really well. I was meshing with all the people who I would be working with at this company. The conversations we had about the vision I would bring to their team also energized me in a way that my current work hasn’t in quite some time. The final interview ended up being scheduled on the same day as a company party at my current job. I thought that was great, because it…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here’s an update from a letter-writer way back in 2009 whose coworker was a not-very-well-behaved ex (first update here). I left the country and HR a few years later, moved to a different country in a different department, and was introduced to a colleague by another colleague. Got married to the colleague, continued working there, had a family (human and cats). We both got burned out and decided to semi FIRE, moved to a third country, and are now staying in a small, progressive town with loads of greenery. We joke that we m…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Nobody’s Girl, by Virginia Roberts Giuffre. It’s an account of the author’s abuse by Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell (including abuse that simply took another form after she escaped them), and it’s absolutely harrowing. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – November 8-9, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. We’re supposed to do enneagrams at a company retreat I spoke to a few colleagues about the enneagram activity, and many agreed and felt this was a strange work activity. I shared with my boss and those in charge of the retreat, and they heard some other feedback as well. While the activity still happened, it seemed some steps were taken to water down or soften how it was presented to minimize the weight of the activity. Overall it was not too bad, and was amusing to talk about the “types” so long as we were not talking about individuals or the more personal elements. I have a feeling they will gather more feedback bef…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I currently work in the private sector, but lately I’ve been feeling dissatisfied with the thought of spending my whole career working just to increase shareholder value. My employer and many other companies in my field have demonstrated zero loyalty or investment in employees, with multiple rounds of layoffs and limited-to-no raises or professional development opportunities. The one good thing about my job is that the benefits and work-life balance are pretty good. Recently, I’ve applied for a few project-based jobs for nonprofits using my existing skillset. These positions would work on specific, mission-b…

A reader writes: I am in an unusual position at work and I wondered what your point of view on this would be. For context on this: I work remotely and almost never see my coworkers in person. If I did, this situation would be a lot sillier than it already is. I work for a close-knit, very interdependent team in a small company. I first told my manager I was pregnant once I finished my first trimester, so that I’d get permission to attend appointments. He asked me not to tell my coworkers until he and my grandparent manager had figured out a plan for my absence. Assuming it wouldn’t be long, I was happy to wait. But it is now less than two months until my maternity lea…

Most office routines aren’t exactly thrilling: you answer emails, survive meetings that could have been a Slack message, and silently curse your coworker for not saving the spreadsheet you need on the shared drive. But some offices have embraced the weird and wonderful, establishing traditions that range from hilarious to outright bizarre. At Slate today, I shared 15 of the greatest work traditions I’ve heard about from readers. (And it’s probably significant that all of these traditions appear to have developed organically! None of these stem from organized team-building or “mandatory fun.”) You can read it here. The post the 15 greatest office traditions you’ve never…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was afraid of flying and and their job required a lot of travel? Here’s the update. Many commenters wondered why friends, family and mentors recommended I accept the new job. Despite the travel, it had clear benefits over my prior position. To name a few, I would be paid about $17k more base salary, would have a 5% bigger bonus, a better title, more responsibilities and I’d be fully remote. I had also declined another offer that had similar compensation but would’ve required three days in offic…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was miserable in their PhD program and just wanted to teach but didn’t think they could drop out? Here’s the update. I regretted sending my letter in to Alison about three seconds after I hit the “submit” button. I was convinced that I was just whining, that there wasn’t anything that could fix this situation, and it was my job to just grit my teeth and get through it. Hearing from so many of you that you’…

A reader writes: I am a supervisor for a small-ish organization with very few male employees. “Amy” started working here in January, but does not report to me. Earlier this week she asked if she could talk to me, and told me that one of the men in her department was making her very uncomfortable. Since she started working here, “Ben” makes comments to her about how beautiful she is, saying things like, “I’m sorry for staring at you. You’re just so beautiful.” She said she’s attempted to make small talk with him in the hopes that as he got to know her, he would talk to her about other things. Apparently things escalated two nights ago as everyone was leaving work. Ben to…

A reader writes: I recently relocated to another state and began looking for a job. Throughout the course of my search, I have come across an interesting and unusual (to me) phenomenon: ghosting. I have been ghosted by pre-screeners, HR directors, hiring managers, and a VP. In each case I have sent follow-up emails to express my continued interest in the position and … crickets. In one interview, the HR director literally said, “I will call you next week,” “I won’t ghost you,” and, “I don’t intend to ghost you, I promise.” I had not mentioned anything to her during our interview. And yes, she ghosted me. I sent a follow-up email and, no, I did not hear anything back fro…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee lied and said his mother had died (she hadn’t) Recently, I had to terminate an employee for lying about their mother dying, let’s call him Jeff. The “death” occurred over a year ago, but 13 months later we came across info that showed us that had been a lie. In fact, Jeff’s sister had posted photos of her and Jeff on an international vacation during the same days as he was supposedly in the hospital preparing for their mother’s passing. We had already been drafting a performance plan for Jeff, and we ended up letting him go over this. Is there anything that could have been done to prevent lying about somethin…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 31, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I recently realized that one of the managers who reports to me, Blake, uses abusive language with his employees. Blake’s employee fear that if he knows they have reported this to me, it will create a further problem for them. I need help on how to give feedback to Blake without giving him the feeling that I came to know this from his team members. I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Other questions I’m answering there today include: Interviewing with the team I’…

A reader writes: I work at a small start-up with about 15 people. We all work remotely. We recently hired a new employee for my team, and he is probably the youngest person in the company. We serve a pretty conservative field in terms of dress, expectations, formality — think along the lines of investment banking, law, or accounting. In internal Zoom meetings, our team wears whatever — sweatshirts, ball caps, athleisure, anything goes really. Externally, when meeting with our industry, we usually take it up just a notch; some people wear a sweater or a nice top, others stay bit more casual but would wear maybe a plain t-shirt with no writing on it, and generally appear n…

A reader writes: My workplace has drinking heavily interwoven into the culture. You doubtless know the kind of place — never had a work social event without copious amounts of booze, boss bringing around beers on Friday afternoons, work parties with an open bar being relocated to another bar where the limitless company tab covers five shots for everyone at the table in five minutes, that kind of vibe. I didn’t know that was the culture when I was applying, and I’ve had a lot of issues with alcohol and drugs in the past. Over the past year and a half, I’ve had some life stuff going on that meant I got to the point where I felt it would be good for me to cut out drinking,…

Last week we talked about how far “other duties as assigned” can stretch a job description (in response to a letter where writers were being asked to do door-to-door sales). Let’s discuss other times “other duties as assigned” has gone wild. What are the weirdest, most out-there things you’ve been asked to do at work that had nothing whatsoever to do with your job? The post “other duties as assigned”: let’s discuss things you’ve been asked to do at work that were wildly outside your job appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I’ve been in the job market over the last few months for executive roles and have been genuinely surprised by how disorganized and last-minute some hiring processes are. Is it standard and reasonable to expect candidates to be available within 24-48 hours for half- or full-day interviews, locally or even with travel? If candidates can’t drop everything within a day, is it reasonable for them to ask for alternative times, or was that their shot and it’s over? Another way to look at this: if you could give advice to talent teams on managing executive recruitment processes in terms of scheduling, advanced notice, or travel for candidates (e.g., how far in …

Federal workers and others affected by the government shutdown: we’re in day 22 with no end in sight. How are you doing? What’s going on in your workplace / with your colleagues? The post government shutdown day 22: how are you doing? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

Growing up, we pick up all kinds of lessons from our families about work, often without even realizing it. You might have learned from your parents to view all managers adversarially, or that gumption is essential to getting ahead, or that you should keep your head down and never speak up about problems or to be excessively deferential, or that messing up was unforgivable … or maybe there are things you wish you had learned from your parents but didn’t. Let’s discuss in the comments. What lessons about work did you learn (or not learn) from your family, and how did those affect your career? The post what did you learn from your parents about work? appeared first on Ask …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Vaping on video calls I work for Company A. We partner closely with Company B on a few projects. There is a power dynamic where Company B provides more resources and calls more shots than we do, and I am very new on the team. I was on a Zoom call with an important person from Company B recently, and she was vaping on the call. She probably used her vape device at least 10 times on the call, and smoke was visible. She didn’t mention it, and neither did I. I don’t know what she was using, and she appeared to be in her home, though I’m not sure. I was so shocked, as it seemed wildly unprofessional, but I didn’t say anyt…

A reader writes: My company is technically hybrid, but my department is almost exclusively work from home, which has suited me. This week, we’d been asked whether or not we’ll be attending an all-hands in person or on Zoom and I’d been really struggling with the decision. I like my coworkers, but I invariably get sick when I do in-person stuff and spent half of September audibly sick from the last in-person department meeting I attended. If I went, I planned to mask. The meeting was listed as being from 9 am – 1 pm and lunch is provided, but masking only works if you stay masked. That means I can’t eat or drink unless I’m outside and there’s no outdoor space at this loc…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – November 21, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I manage a team of five younger professionals (all between the ages of 25 to 30). I have noticed that each of them prefers to communicate with me almost exclusively by text message or through the chat feature in our collaboration software. Conversations by phone, video, or in-person only happen when I initiate them. When I initiate an in-person conversation or phone call, my employees don’t seem opposed and typically are very engaged, but if left up to them it seems like all of the interaction with me would be via text or chat. In my own career, I’ve always valued being able to talk one-on-one with my manager, whether it’s during a formal meeting or imp…

A reader writes: A friend of mine got a job in property management and wasn’t told about the dress code until a couple months in. It is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. The highlights: * Women can only shop at Ann Taylor. They are given $700 twice a year for a clothing allowance, but $700 only gets you two suits and two shirts. * They have to wear certain color combinations on certain days, which means you can’t just buy those two suits and rotate them every other day. * Women have to wear heels. Property management involves some desk work but a whole lot of walking around, so you have to run around inside, outside, and up and down stairs in heels. Can th…