Performance Tracking and Feedback

Remember the letter-writer whose new team thought they were incredibly overworked, but they actually did nothing? Here’s the update. I wanted to send an update as many of the commentators had requested one. I was the person who wrote about the team that spent all their time reading books and organizing their record collections, and yet kept insisting they were Really Very Busy. Alison’s advice was spot-on — I was only there on a temporary basis, so I decided to just enjoy the madness as a casual observer before I went back to my permanent role. There was a lot of discussion in the comments as to why the team was behaving the way they were, and some of the commentators …

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I’m a longtime reader and huge fan of Ask a Manager. I wondered if you’ve ever done a column about people who were busted as writing in — people whose coworkers, boss, family, or friends read a post and realized the author was someone they knew. I have not, although I know of a few times when it’s happened: If you remember the manager whose best employee quit when she wasn’t allowed to go to her college graduation, the employee herself recognized the letter years later and wrote in, one of the other interns fired for writing a petition about the dress code wrote in a year later, and someone who thought they …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want to stay in a haunted hotel on a work trip I’m a junior employee at a smaller firm (100-200 employees). I travel about once a month for work and typically stay in generic hotels. I’m heading to a small town on my next trip and the project manager suggested we stay at a cute old historic property. Not a problem, I go to book, and it says the hotel has a friendly ghost. I am absolutely petrified of ghosts and paranormal things — think years and years of weekly therapy. The two people I’m traveling with are more senior than I am, and I’m a little embarrassed to say, “Hey, I know you’ve stayed here before but …

A reader writes: My manager, Katherine, is a C-suite level executive who joined the organization eight months ago. She was previously my skip-level manager (former boss’s boss), but due to a large RIF/company restructuring four months ago, my former manager is no longer with the organization, and another colleague and I were asked to co-lead the remaining team, reporting to Katherine. Before the restructuring, I had met her maybe twice, and at the time of my recent performance review, this was my second 1-1. Many of the projects I worked on last year are no longer considered company priorities after this restructuring. During my performance review, Katherine admitted th…

Remember the letter-writer who needed to tell a new employee he’s not cut out for the job? The first update was here, and here’s the latest. After far too long, I was able to terminate Tom. As the “fun” project wore on, he started telling me he was overwhelmed, and I started stepping in to do increasingly more of his work. Don’t ask me why I found his requests for help so compelling, I’m still mad at myself about falling for them. After delivering the “needs improvement” conversation, his work improved for a few months. But then something snapped, and he completely fell below the minimum threshold. Multiple important meetings no-showed. Entire afternoons where I was un…

Domestic violence can intersect with work in all sorts of ways. We’ve seen it in letters here, from the many people worried their coworkers may be experiencing abuse at home to the person whose colleague wanted to fire someone for being a victim of abuse. And some years back, we had an excellent letter from a survivor full of things her workplace could have done to help her, but didn’t. I recently spoke with Bella Book and Nina Kanakarajavelu of Futures Without Violence about their work to help employers to support workers experiencing sexual harassment, domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, and here’s our conversation. Tell us a bit about the work you do in t…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is charging personal purchases to our team I work in higher ed on a small team. All of us are able to make purchases up to a certain amount with little to no oversight. I have suspected that my coworker has bought things for herself. It seemed like a few small things here and there, a $30 hand cream, essential oils, things that didn’t seem to have a business purpose. Recently I purchased an expensive item (with permission) for the office. She said someone asked her where it was from and asked if I could send her the link. A week later, a box arrives with this very item. I look up her purchase order, which…

A reader writes: I am conducting interviews next week, and normally my workplace sends interview questions to interviewees 30 minutes prior to the interview. This is in an attempt to provide a more accessible and equitable experience for our interviewees who may need additional time or feel more comfortable when they know the questions ahead of time. This also aligns with how the employee would normally work — having ample time to review and respond to questions. All our interviews are remote. I am working with a new panel member who suggested we stop this practice because they were finding candidates were using the extra time to have AI generate answers to the question…

A reader writes: As a manager, new parent, and generally busy person, I work some strange hours. For example, yesterday I was online at 2 am (as my daughter woke me up during the night and I decided to use some time to clear my work inbox ahead of a busy Monday) and 10 pm (as I finished early to play with my daughter but needed to meet a deadline). I don’t expect these kinds of hours from my team or want to encourage people to work outside of hours if it doesn’t suit them, but sometimes these are the hours that suit me! What can and should I do to make it clear that what I do isn’t what I expect from the team and that following my example won’t have any impact on my opi…

A reader writes: One of the directors at my company, Meredith, has been undergoing executive coaching sessions for around six months. These are supposed to be to give her management coaching and experience, as she currently has none and has three direct reports, including me. However, it’s come to light that instead of using these sessions to learn how to manage and learn leadership skills, she’s essentially been using them as free therapy/counsellng and has been aggressively running down members of the team instead! One of the members of the team accidentally discovered the full transcripts from Meredith’s sessions on our company cloud — in a public folder, not even h…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Candidate used a slur during a job interview I’m the hiring manager for a position at a nonprofit. The role has a lot of in-person interaction with clients, so we are looking for people who are well-spoken. One of our candidates used a lesser known slur during her interview. I won’t say what the slur was, but it’s a term to indicate being duped or swindled, and the word comes from the name of an ethnic group. I didn’t address it in the moment, but I can’t stop thinking about it. How would you have handled this? And, should this error carry weight? On one hand, I understand that when you’re speaking on the fly like in …

A reader writes: I know salary negotiation is typically acceptable, expected, and wise, and I even did recruiting for a year or so. But I’m job hunting again, and I’ve never seen this question on an application before: “To ensure equitable compensation, we benchmark salaries against nonprofits of similar size and budget, because of this, we don’t negotiate salaries. The salary for this role is $96,650. Please confirm that this aligns with your desired salary expectations.” (Dropdown: “Yes, I understand that the salary for this role is $96,650.”) Does this mean I shouldn’t ever bring it up? Also, related: Say the salary is below market rate or a huge range, and you kno…

A reader writes: I don’t like being interrupted when I’m speaking, but it seems that everyone I manage interrupts me when I’m in the middle of speaking, even including a brand new employee who is constantly finishing my statements! In the past, I’ve said things such as “what I was saying was…” or “hang on, I wasn’t quite done” and it works at that moment but not long-term. How can I let people know that I don’t appreciate being interrupted without being rude myself? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You…

A reader writes: I do communications and marketing and would love your advice on something that happened my first time managing a team. I had a marketing assistant, “Kitty,” who was very earnest and a brand new grad from the fancy university in town. She was good at visuals (so the promotional graphics and fliers touting our products on social media) but less so on writing up the descriptions needed for a company like ours. Typical interactions would go like this: Kitty’s draft: CompanyName just released a new line of teapots inspired by London. The teapot are red. Me, when, reviewing drafts: This is a good start, but let’s try to make these teapots sound like the be…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker overheard me complaining about them I have a new-ish colleague, Jaime, who I feel hasn’t really been pulling their weight. I was talking to someone else in the office about a project we’re working on and how I thought Jaime would be leading the project but that they were pushing all of the work onto other people when the project is what Jaime was hired for. I know my tone was very negative about Jaime during the conversation. Well, I didn’t realize Jaime was in the office that day and am pretty sure they overheard the conversation. I ran into Jaime later that day and they gave me a sad look, but did not sa…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: This Is Not About Us, by Allegra Goodman. An estrangement between two sisters over apple cake affects three generations of a family over decades. Each chapter explores a different family member, but all the stories are interconnected. I loved it. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – March 21-22, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – March 20, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Is it out of touch to expect student workers to check their email? I work at a fairly small college, and I’m noticing that more and more students aren’t checking or responding to their email regularly. Some of my colleagues say that they have to text the students in order to get a response. I really don’t want to do that unless it’s a time-sensitive situation. My instinct is to tell the students (the ones who work for me anyway) that email is still a really normal business tool and they need to get used to it because it will be part of their professional lives for a while to come. But I also recognize that I’ve worked…

We often hear about work events that didn’t go quite as hoped: the conference that served vegetarians a single leaf of lettuce for lunch, the event where a speaker who went way over time caused half the attendees to get food poisoning, the conference that didn’t think through the problems with giving every attendee an identical laptop bag, the escape room where none of the managers could find their way out (maybe that one’s not so bad), and on and on. Let’s turn the tables and hear from people who plan events or work at them. Tell us what’s gone wrong you’ve been the one behind the scenes at events — or how you saw someone save the day and prevent disaster. The post wor…

A reader writes: A few months ago, we had to do an “about me” presentation during a department meeting— we had to post pictures of our families and give a brief description of our interests/who we are. I’m not a big fan of these things for several reasons. One is that I would prefer to keep my family life out of work, and one is that it can cause discrimination, which is the reason I’m writing. I’m white, my husband is black, and my kids are obviously mixed. Literally the day after my presentation where I posted my family picture, my manager, supervisor, and some coworkers have changed how they treat me. I don’t jump to discrimination right away, but I don’t know what e…

Remember the letter from the person whose soda consumption was being monitored and judged by the office admin? Here’s the update. I had many months of peace, in part due to my boss telling the admin to lay off and in part because I was fully remote for a couple of months due to some family stuff. The dirty looks when I went to the kitchen continued when I got back but whatever, I can deal. And then yesterday happened. I go to the office, get three cans of soda to bring back to my desk (to avoid the scrutiny of three separate kitchen visits). I drink one, then place two in my desk drawer. I go to an in-person meeting, during which I see the admin scan the room to see wh…

Last month we talked about bosses and offices with weirdly outdated expectations from a far-off era. Here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The host A former boss had very strong ideas about technology. Pre-pandemic, some employees had access to Zoom and used it occasionally for in-house meetings. Obviously, in 2020 we had to pivot to using Zoom for every meeting. My boss insisted that he be the “host” and the only “host” of Zoom meetings. He said it was important for people to know that he was host, in the sense that he was convening the meeting and responsible for the meeting outcomes. He could not be convinced that in a Zoom context, most of the hosting …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Manager uses employees’ photos for AI-generated images Recently, my partner’s boss fed employees’ headshots (from LinkedIn) into an AI model to generate “personas” of them (for example, an IT specialist might be the “Tech Wizard” and the AI image would be their face on a character dressed in wizard robes) and then hung them on their desks. She did this without their knowledge, much less their consent. My partner felt their privacy was violated and is unhappy about it. However, they didn’t approach their boss because they thought she would get upset, and they didn’t want to manage her emotions or be accused of not bein…

A reader writes: About two years ago, I had just started working at a major media company on the east coast, making good money. I was able to be the sole breadwinner for my family of four. Due to a complicated family situation, we were forced to move to the middle of the country to be near my in-laws. My job could not transfer, so I got a favor from my dad to get a remote job at his company, taking a major pay cut in the process. It was still enough to take care of everyone with the lower cost of living, and it was well above the average of the area. About nine months later, that company had a major restructuring and I was laid off. I had to scramble to find any work t…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I think my remote employee is doing child care when she should be working I have an employee (we are all remote) who just returned to work from maternity leave. It’s been almost two months and I have noticed a couple of troubling patterns. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but two other team members mentioned these same concerns to me. 1. She always has her camera turned off. This is not an issue for most meetings but, during our monthly all-team meetings, I have asked everyone to turn their cameras on. She has not turned hers on for either meeting since her return. 2. She is always on mute and, when…