Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My team received a suspicious text — and we wonder if our boss sent it as a way to secretly gain info It was reassuring to hear from you and the readers that I wasn’t being paranoid about the text. Unfortunately, the truth behind the mystery text remains unknown, though the official story is that it was “legit.” Shortly after your response, my manager ended up addressing the team, sayi…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 26, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: The CTO of our company is our CEO’s high school buddy. If you come to him with a problem, he always wants to jump on a call with you to hear the problem and troubleshoot. However, 95% of the time, I don’t need to be on this call. I don’t have any amplifying information other than reporting that something isn’t working. He wants to think out loud and chat. It’s a huge waste of time. Lately, I’ve been flat out refusing to be on a call with him by saying, “I don’t have any additional information, so a call is not needed.” Instead I will Slack him with the problem and my attempts at resolution (again, all of the information I have). I’m realizing that he do…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Uncoupling, by Meg Wolitzer. After the local high school performs Aristophanes’ play Lysistrata, in which women decide to deny men sex in order to pressure them to end a war, the town’s local women pick up the habit themselves. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – February 28-March 1, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I tell a coworker I dislike him? Is it ever safe to tell a coworker you dislike them on a personal level? There’s a colleague I find very annoying. He hasn’t done anything wrong, but his personality is extremely different from mine. He’s far more optimistic and cheerful than I am. The disparity in our attitudes comes partly from me hating my job. Even though there are all sorts of ways in which it could backfire, I think I would very much enjoy telling this person I don’t like him, even if only via email. If not while we’re in the same workplace, maybe on the day one of us moves elsewhere (I’m applying for other …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I didn’t expect my employee to take off so much time after a family death My only direct report, Jessy, recently had an unexpected death in her spouse’s family. This has taken a huge toll on both of them, especially due to its sudden nature. Jessy let me know a couple of days after the passing. I checked her PTO balances (which are generous in our company), let her know how much time she could take, and encouraged her to take the time she needed. I expected this would be two or three days at the most. Instead, Jessy was off three days last week and three and a half this week. This has really put me in a bind and left…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me I had to be on camera while sick My department hosts a monthly zoom meeting to a large audience. That week I was working from home with a terrible cold (coughing, sneezing, runny nose, the whole package). The day the meeting was scheduled to occur, I emailed my manager excusing myself for not having my camera on as I was sick. She emailed me back with, “Please be camera ready for the meeting, all participants are expected to be on camera.” I was not presenting; I am just required to attend, and not having my camera on would not pose any disruption to the meeting. I didn’t have the energy to even reply …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I refuse to fetch my manager’s personal mail? I work in a room with my manager and two colleagues, and between them they order 3-10 personal packages to the office a week. They don’t get up to answer the door even when they’re sitting chatting rather than working; unless I’m on the phone, they expect me to get it. I’ve brought this up with them, but they don’t think it’s unfair. I’ve even injured myself fetching their heavy packages, and the manager’s solution was to email the team telling us to ask delivery drivers to put packages on the floor. That doesn’t solve my problem. It comes across as very entitled to ex…

A reader writes: I moved to a new state a year ago and, in the effort to find community, I joined a grassroots nonprofit as a volunteer coordinator (as a volunteer, not for my job). Since I’ve joined, we’ve had transparency issues with the board. Every few months, someone would either join or drop off the board, and volunteers wouldn’t hear about it until a week or two after the fact. We also never had the organization’s bylaws or constitution available to volunteers, and no matter how many of us explained why we needed this, select board members would always give excuses as to why we couldn’t. At one point, they finally posted them, but when the website went through a …

I’m off today. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Customers talk about our sizes This question is for my coworker, Jess. We both work at a women’s plus-size clothing retailer (national chain) in the midwest. I do wear some clothes from here, but to most, I probably do not look like the average plus-size person. Jess is a little larger than myself. This is unfortunately relevant because customers try to relate to Jess in such ways like “Oh! You have a big butt you can help me [pick out something that would look good with my own big butt]” or “Oh, you get it with how big your hips are!” or the most co…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Clients apologize to my boss for snapping at me I am a receptionist/admin in a two-person office. I understand fully that it is my job to be the front line dealing with clients both in person and on the phone. However, I’m baffled by this thing that has happened several times in the three years I’ve been in this job, and happened again last week most egregiously. A client will snap at me over a policy I cannot change/have zero control over. They will storm out in a huff. Then later, they will call, I’ll answer the phone, they’ll ask to speak to my boss (Jane), and then once I transfer the call, they apologize to her f…

A reader writes: I’ve just had the strangest interview experience. After the hiring manager and I introduced ourselves, she opened by asking, “Have you read our action plan?” I had not. I pivoted and replied that I’d read a couple other documents which are prominently linked on the company’s website, especially the one titled “’24-’27 Plan.” She indicated that was an outdated document, and that she was glad to know I hadn’t read it, as it would inform our interview moving forward. Okay. She mentioned the action plan later in the interview, and I indicated I was looking forward to reading it and was sorry to have missed it. Towards the end, she asked if I had any quest…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should you put fan fiction on your resume? I saw someone online saying that they write fan fiction at Ao3 and so on their resume they put “independent fiction writer” or “independent online publishing project” without explaining what they write or that it’s at Ao3. They say that if you’re asked about it in an interview, you can answer with, “I prefer to keep my personal creative work separate from my professional identity, but I’ve used it as a way to improve my writing, editing, and consistency over time.” This seems like a really bad idea to me, but is it? Yes, it’s a bad idea. If you prefer to keep your personal cr…

A reader writes: I started at my company about five years ago after being laid off from my previous company due to Covid. Once I started here, I was shocked to discover that one of my old friends (Susan) who I was very close to in college (which I had graduated from 10 years prior) worked at the same company in a different building on the company’s campus. I reached out to her briefly on Teams just to say, “Oh wow, I had no idea you worked here. If you’re ever near my building, pop by and say hey and maybe we could grab a coffee.” She responded warmly and we had one brief conversation in my office, and that was the last time I saw her for months. We were in different de…

I’m off today so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2020. A reader writes: I’m the executive assistant for a small company. I’m the direct support for the VP of human resources, “Dave,” who is very charismatic and likable and a generally nice guy. He’s also very good looking. However, he’s very professional with great business boundaries. I enjoy working with him. Two managers in particular, “Karen” and “Nancy,” need to meet with him all the time. All. The. Time. Their departments aren’t undergoing any HR issues, they don’t have any staffing needs, and they’re not hiring or firing anybody right now. They call to schedule multiple m…

A reader writes: I recently took a new job in my same industry and city. In my new role, I’ll have a team of eight reporting to me in various capacities and functions. During the interview process, I got a brief read-out of the team and a high level talent assessment. Nothing stood out as an issue. On my first day, I met the team reporting to me. One of the people on the team is someone that worked for me before and who I terminated for cause due to performance at my previous company. What do I communicate to my management team and/or HR about this situation? It feels weird to say nothing because ultimately, this could be a management issue — I’m sure this employee does…

A reader writes: My husband and I are splitting up after eight years together. We’ve had issues that we’ve been working on for a long time, but the final split happened fairly suddenly and I’m reeling right now. On top of everything else I’m dealing with now (including finding a new place to live, getting off his health insurance, etc.), I’m wondering how to talk about this at work. My coworkers have met my husband at many events over the years, and I’ve talked about him a lot at work. I don’t know how to tell people we’re splitting up without inviting a ton of questions, none of which I’m really ready to talk about right now, and I also don’t want to trauma-dump on peo…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Coworkers are leaving love notes for each other I recently started working in a high-end retail setting selling a luxury item. The team that I’m working with seems really great for the most part, except for this one young couple who can’t seem to keep their private lives out of the workplace. It’s not enough that everyone knows that they’re dating; one of them has begun taping small love notes to cash registers that are shared between 5-6 of us, in full view of our customers. Now in fairness, the notes are usually pretty short and subtle (“Happy T…

A reader writes: People in my office frequently come into work very obviously sick and many times get other people sick. Most people do not have the ability to work from home with the work we do. We’ve sent a firm-wide message telling people that we prefer that sick employees stay home, as to stop the spread to the rest of the staff. Unfortunately, this didn’t make much of a difference. I understand that people want to save their paid time off for more enjoyable times, but it’s not fair to the coworkers to whom they spread their germs. (We also offer six paid sick days, separate from vacation and personal leave.) What else can we do? I answer this question over at Inc.…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. I worked for my mom and now she won’t stop bugging me with work questions Five years ago, I was offered a job at the company my mom had been working at for 20+ years. At the time, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my career and I needed the insurance and a higher wage, so I accepted the offer despite my knowing it was ultimately going to be a bad situation. Unfortunately, I stayed for five years in the horrible working conditions. One of which was working directly for my mom all five years. During my five years at that company, I took it upon…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 19, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose new boss told them not to take all their PTO each year? Here’s the update. I appreciated your advice, as well as the commentary from the reader community. Your reply was spot on to how I felt as well — vacation time was part of my compensation package, and them backtracking verbally after agreeing to it in an official offer that I signed felt very, very wrong. I had also declined another offer to take this one, so I felt betrayed in a sense with a bait and switch. I was so incredibly thankfu…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Employer is angry that I didn’t show up for an interview I didn’t know about There is a job I really want. I applied and didn’t hear back for a while. After a few months, they emailed me stating that my interview would be on X date with no time nor location. They had scheduled it for the next day and it was already evening. I wasn’t in town and wouldn’t be back until the next week. I sent an email in reply, letting them know and that I would be happy to reschedule. Fast forward to today, which is five days later. Last night they sent me an email w…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer wondering whether to suggest that their employee rethink her career path? (They were having to outsource a large report she should have been responsible for because of the quality of her work.) Here’s the update. Mindy is still with our organization, but possibly not for much longer. We ended up not outsourcing the report, but I had several conversations with her over the course of this year about her growth with the organization, as she’d requested a promotion to a senior manager role — a position…

A reader writes: I am in a front-line commercial role at a tech start-up. I am responsible for bringing in new business, and this story pertains to my colleague Zayne, who manages a lot of the back-end, integrations side of things. Zayne is fantastic at what he does. The guy might actually be a genius, and I don’t say that lightly. He has a ton of ideas, seems to really love what he does, and is good at it. He’s also very open about his mental health, which I admire but it can admittedly take me back sometimes. I grew up in a family where we often don’t share things like that, and it’s something I’m trying to unpack as an adult, but even so I find myself at a loss for w…