Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I was offered a job last week, which was going to require a 2.5-hour move. I accepted as it’s a field I love and a company ownership I had worked for previously, just not at this location. Yesterday the job fell through because the expected job salary budget didn’t come through. At all. I had been waiting on paperwork to 100% make my hiring official. I even had a start date, which had been reiterated last week when they were waiting for the national leadership to send over the papers. I am lucky that I was able to reverse my resignation at my current job. I’m also lucky that I figure I’m only out about $100. I had applied for and been accepted for an a…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’ve been applying to new jobs for about six months and finally got an offer for a job that I was genuinely excited about; it’s for a position that would be a step up in both title and responsibility, would let me work on interesting projects, and even would let me use a skill I went to school for but haven’t really been able to use professionally up until now. When they sent me the formal job offer, the salary was a bit more than I’m making now, but I’ve always heard that it’s smart to try to negotiate for more money because this is the easiest time to get it (versus after you’re al…

A reader writes: In 30 years, I have been late to work twice. The first time, management used my emergency contact number to track me down when I was one hour late. I believe this was a misuse of my personal information, and I removed this contact information from the company systems. Now, years later, it has happened again. My manager sent police to my home for a “wellness check” because I was two hours late. In this day and age, when federal agencies are claiming that they can come into your home without a warrant, it’s more than a bit alarming to see police at one’s door. Is this even remotely acceptable? I do realize that some employers will simply terminate on a …

A reader writes: I’ve worked part-time at this company for a little over a year. It’s my first job out of college. I work in events, so my hours can vary wildly — during the weeks leading up to an event, I can be working 35-45 hours a week, but the slow times can be 5-15 hours a week. I’ve been promoted once already since working here, about eight months in, to a role that was sort of invented for me. It’s very much a small, creative, wear-a-lot-of-hats kind of company. We have another big event coming up, and the event’s producer has approached me about taking on two additional roles for this project (in addition to my current one). In my current job, I’m responsible f…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work for a small-ish (100 people) British nonprofit. The work we do is similar to helping disabled people find homes and jobs, coaching them in social and life skills. We have developed a network of connections with local businesses who help us make this all happen. All good so far. I love my job, my coworkers and my boss. The work we do is valuable and I’m proud of it. We have plans for growth in our city so we can help more people. Again all good. But … the CEO recently brought in a consultant to work on the growth project. Next thing we know, that network of local connections …

A reader writes: I run a small healthcare practice and recently had a difficult transition with a long-time employee that I’m trying to learn from. Sarah worked for me for about five years as our director of business development and marketing lead. During that time, I invested heavily in her development through training, tools, and absorbing the inevitable mistakes that come with someone growing into a role. She worked remotely, set her own schedule, had significant autonomy, and earned well above the market rate. I also referred clients to a small side business she ran. About six months ago, she told me she had “outgrown” the organization professionally and wanted to …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My manager and coworker are fighting and I’m stuck in the middle My manager, Rose, is not good at her job. She routinely forgets things, does a terrible job advocating for the department, plays favorites, and isn’t proactive at solving problems. My coworker, Donna, is also not good at her job, but in a personal sense. She’s horrifically burnt out but isn’t taking steps to address it, holds grudges over slights that happened 5+ years ago, and goes from 0 to 100 in her moods. Adding fuel to the fire, Rose is conflict-averse, Donna is conflict-prone. As I’m the newest person in the office without the 10 years of beef thes…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: My manager was one of the good ones, completely trusted their team, didn’t micromanage, would support and defend us, and was just generally a friendly person. Their death was sudden and devastating to a lot of people, to say the least. Our team is fewer than 10 people, and most had worked closely with our manager for 5+ years and some had been friends for longer. Our company offered to pay for all expenses so we could all attend the funeral, since some of us are remote. One local coworker, Sam, didn’t go and didn’t even give an excuse as to why not, and it has caused a major rift. O…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My manager set up a secret email address using my name I work at a community college. All regular employees at the college are assigned email addresses that begin with our last name. My email, for example, is LastName_FirstName_MiddleInitial@collegename.edu. In Outlook, if someone sends an email to a non-existent address, they will receive an “undeliverable” auto-reply. Several people have tried to email me using an incorrect email format (FirstNameLastName@collegename.edu). The incorrect email format doesn’t conform with the college email, so I a…

A reader writes: I am looking for some advice on how to deal with my manager. I have worked in this organization for about three years, and my manager, Mark, started a few months before me. Out of all of the managers I’ve ever had, he is by far the kindest and most flexible (he’s very hands-off). After a few months, I realized he is not great at his job. Over the past three years, more and more of his job responsibilities have been put onto my plate. I am supposed to be in a more technical role, but I end up dedicating a lot of my time to managing, due to him … not managing. Some examples: * Interns: We have a small team of interns — 6-10 in any given year. When I firs…

A reader writes: I work for a large company and am my manager’s (“Sharon”) only direct report. Sharon is professional and high-performing the three days a week she is in the office. However, on her work-from-home days and even on her scheduled days off, her behavior becomes deceptive, erratic, and deeply disruptive. I choose to work in the office five days a week and arrive at 7 am — an hour before the rest of the team — which has made me the “face” of the team while Sharon has become a digital ghost. Some examples of her erratic behavior: • On a remote day, Sharon claimed she couldn’t work due to a failure in our software. Since our department manages that software, I…

A reader write: I’ve been subject to our disciplinary process at work for the last two months, relating to issues such as “forgot to fill in a spreadsheet” and “didn’t ask for help quickly enough,” among other claims that all compound each other (one issue caused another, etc.). I have provided context during the disciplinary process and flagged that while I don’t disagree that there are occasional issues with my work, I would have expected it to be raised informally first (they went immediately to a disciplinary process while threatening dismissal). My supervisor, Linda, has provided a number of the allegations and supporting evidence (screenshots of personal chats, et…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My mom answered my phone and told off my boss I was very sick with Covid and my mom had to come take care of me. She already knew issues that I’d been having with my boss; he’s a jerk. I learned later that he called to ask a question that he could have easily found the answer himself. My mother answered the phone and yelled at him because he does a lot of abusive things and keeps us working on days off, even vacation, not to mention when people are very sick. He is the type who can dish out the punishment or rude comments but cant handle it when you…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. I worked for my mom and now she won’t stop bugging me with work questions Five years ago, I was offered a job at the company my mom had been working at for 20+ years. At the time, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my career and I needed the insurance and a higher wage, so I accepted the offer despite my knowing it was ultimately going to be a bad situation. Unfortunately, I stayed for five years in the horrible working conditions. One of which was working directly for my mom all five years. During my five years at that company, I took it upon…

A reader writes: I’ve been looking to move to a new company for many months now, and recently a personal connection was able to introduce me to several high-level contacts in my desired industry. Through this contact I have spoken to senior/executive-director level people at several firms that I would love to work with. However, with the exception of one conversation where we directly discussed openings at their organization, these conversations have generally been networking/informational interviewing. My connections who referred me to these contacts always seem a little surprised that the conversations have not led directly to at least an interview, but I’ve been very…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My new boss coughs all over me I’ve just begun a new position and as a result, have been working closely with my new boss as she trains me. Things are mostly going well — except she is constantly coughing on me! Directly on me! As in, I feel her breath on my bare arm as she coughs into my skin while leaning over me to see my computer screen. When she does bother to cover her mouth, she coughs into her hand … which she then promptly uses to grab my mouse. She also left a used(!) tissue on my desk. I’m coming down with a cold and it’s not hard to put…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I am a manager on a team where there are two managers and five individual contributors: Buffy, Cordelia, Xander, Willow, and Anya. Buffy and Willow are very good friends. They joined the team at around the same time, about two years ago. Cordelia joined the team just under a year ago and quickly got adopted by Buffy and Willow as “one of the gang.” They have similar tastes and are always lending each other books, talking about shared interests, etc. Xander has been in and out of the team, but is well integrated socially with the others. Anya joined the team straight out of college in…

A reader writes: I’m a new-ish manager in a small company. I have two direct reports. One is professional and a joy to work with. The other is a recent hire (he’s been here two months) who is right out of college, Jake. In our most recent weekly one-on-one, Jake told me that he is “disappointed in the role” and the work is “not as interesting as he hoped.” I can understand how someone could find much of the work tedious. There’s a significant amount of data entry in the position. But I never hid this. I was clear with every candidate I interviewed that there would be tedious tasks and screened for people who seemed able to figure out strategies for handling that tedium.…

A reader writes: I recently took a new job in my same industry and city. In my new role, I’ll have a team of eight reporting to me in various capacities and functions. During the interview process, I got a brief read-out of the team and a high level talent assessment. Nothing stood out as an issue. On my first day, I met the team reporting to me. One of the people on the team is someone that worked for me before and who I terminated for cause due to performance at my previous company. What do I communicate to my management team and/or HR about this situation? It feels weird to say nothing because ultimately, this could be a management issue — I’m sure this employee does…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My new job has so much drama it made the local news I started a job as an accounting manager less than a month ago. I had been out of work for a while. I was let go at my previous job, I think because my boss didn’t like or need me. I’m a quiet, anxious person and she was the opposite. I was still on probation there and it was a shock. So, I’ve been looking for a new position but also working contract and doing well. I interviewed for one particular job I thought was a good fit. The hiring manager and I hit it off right away. I felt she was an empa…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: In August of 2024, I left behind TV news reporting to become a social media manager for museums in my city. My career in TV news was full of manipulation, toxicity, long hours, and missed holidays. My new job was a standard 9-5, with occasional weekend events for a few hours. It was the boring job I needed. The local theater and museum (they are combined and owned by the same company) took an interest in me, and the CEO offered me a job with them. I was told I would need to work weekends about once a month for shows, and I was okay with that. After looking at the schedule posted to t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I recently interviewed for and accepted a job as a nurse at the very small hospital in my very small midwestern town. My lovely manager was very transparent about how they are big supporters of work-life balance, and gave tangible examples of how they support families, because they have “small town values.” She is clearly very proud of this fact and puts a lot of stock in being a “good” manager. I know some of the employees on that floor, and everything she says seems to be true and not just lip service. Well, I am pregnant (around 15-16 weeks when I interviewed) but, naturally, did …

A reader writes: I’ve just hired a new remote employee who is absolutely wonderful. He’s organized, driven, talented and self-starting. I feel like I’ve won the jackpot — with a catch. His internet is really, really bad. It’s almost impossible to have him share his screen with me (or vice versa) or to carry on a conversation without a very noticeable lag. Because of this, he will often call into virtual meetings from his personal phone. I can’t pretend to know anything about his personal circumstances. For all I know, he could be working through student debt and I would hate to bring up something that might be uncomfortable for him. I have mentioned in passing using alt…

A reader writes: A new grad (“Eva”) joined our team about six months ago. She had previously interned with us and had really impressed us with her knowledge, efficiency, and proactive approach. As a seasoned member of the team, I went out of my way to be kind, helpful, and patient with Eva as she learned the ropes. She had tons of questions, which is to be expected at first. However, things started to sour when she began messaging me non-stop about things unrelated to work and excessively badmouthing another coworker, even calling him vulgar names (on the company’s internal messaging platform!). I began to feel that Eva’s messages were crossing a major line and asked he…

A reader writes: I have the oddest situation. I have given my notice at a healthcare nonprofit (let’s call it the Wellness Alliance). I’ve been a part of Wellness since the very early days. One of the people I mentored, Katy, went into leadership, became the lead social worker, and turned people against me when our last CEO left. I recently gave notice because Katy got the leadership team to bully a young staff member out of Wellness after they asked for my help on a case, even though Katy had ignored their request, and that was the final straw for me. Katy had a sessional gig at our local college, and I recently met one of her students, Fergus. Fergus was looking for a…