Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: Should I give my coworker a heads up that everyone in our office sees her (Beth) and another of our coworkers (Sean) flirting and thinks they’re sleeping together? I’ve personally seen them chit chat and act all giggly together, as well as “check each other out,” like look each other up and down. Sean is twice the age of Beth, but Beth is still almost middle-aged. I think other people in the office are gossiping hard and, while I’m not 100% certain there’s anything going on (they’re both married), I heard that our director said something to Sean so now they don’t stop by and chat as often. Should I tell Beth how this friendship with Sean is coming off …

A reader writes: I just finished conducting a job interview where it was clear from the candidate’s answer to the first question that he was not going to get the job, but I felt like it would be rude to indicate that so abruptly. So I wasted 20 more minutes of his time going through the motions and by the end we both knew it was not a fit but I didn’t know what to say. Is it ever okay to cut the interview short? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Other questions I’m answering there…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss treats our coworker’s performance issues as team performance issues I have a colleague, Sarah, who has been in the job longer than anyone else but constantly ignores our processes. Some of these processes were put in place even before I joined almost eight years ago and she helped teach me. This has resulted in extra work for me and another colleague, Jacinta, who has now been assigned to monitor Sarah’s work and provide feedback. But even worse, our manager does not seem to directly address the issue with Sarah but instead calls team meetings (some in-office when we are all remote) over and over again to addr…

It’s Halloween! Let’s revisit some Halloween questions from past years. 1. My coworker goes overboard with grisly Halloween decorations People in our office go bonkers over Halloween. Recently we were encouraged to decorate for Halloween. I would take that to mean a little black and orange garland, maybe a plastic pumpkin, right? Well, not hardly. People go overboard and apparently the only rule was no trip hazards in the aisle. The woman in the cubicle next to mine must have emptied out her storage area of Halloween decorations. Now there are gross bloody looking, ghoulish figures hanging from the ceiling above our desk space. There are skeletons with teeth, cobwebs st…

A reader writes: I run outbound marketing for a tech startup serving founders and salespeople. We often send promotional/announcement emails from my email address to subscribers who have opted in to receive our updates. We recently sent a very harmless and innocuous announcement message, to which I received the following reply: “Why the FUCK am I getting this email” The message was from a personal Gmail account and included the sender’s cell phone number. A quick LinkedIn search revealed that the sender is employed at a major financial services firm as a personal wealth advisor (investment manager) for high net worth individuals. What he doesn’t know is, I’m a client …

A reader writes: I’ve been working in the marketing department of a large company for nine years, in a somewhat specialized role. I sit within a smaller subteam originally managed by “Jean-Luc,” who was the kind of manager everyone hopes for — fiercely protective of his team, willing to go to bat for any of us, and fair if it came down to any issues that needed dealing with. At the beginning of the year, Jean-Luc told us that he’d be moving on and assured us he’d be directly responsible for hiring his replacement to ensure a good fit. Two weeks before he left (I’m in the UK and we typically have three-month notice periods), he hired “Kai Wynn,” who seemed very knowledge…

Sometimes the biggest battles at work — and definitely the funniest — are over very small things: the office-wide meltdown when new phones were installed with fewer speed dial buttons; mundane parking rules that led to threats, bribery, and fake parking tickets; a rebellion after a change to the cafeteria’s sushi trays; and a full-on mutiny over thinner bacon. Let’s discuss very big office battles over very small things. Share what you’ve seen in the comment section. The post let’s discuss: very big office battles over very small things appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: This month, I started a new job that offers excellent benefits, including a policy stating that employees who “self-identify” on an addiction issue can take time off to get help without penalty. As a high-functioning untreated alcoholic, I’m very grateful for this, but unsure how to navigate it. (Kudos to all the authors of personnel policies out there who wrote language like this. Sincerely, those folks need to know how grateful some employees are for those clauses! Thank you! You are helping people!) Here’s the situation: I’ve had a long-term drinking problem and know in-patient treatment would finally help me address it. Out-patient didn’t stick, and…

All this week to get us in the holiday spirit, I’m going to be featuring holiday work stories readers have shared here in the past … and then updates season will start next week! To kick us off, here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared about potlucks and other food gatherings at work earlier this month. 1. The mince pies During a Christmas potluck, our CEO made a surprise appearance at our small branch to chat, exchange wishes, and so on. While everyone moved to the main floor for some games and quizzes, I had to go back to the canteen to retrieve my forgotten jacket. I caught the CEO stuffing the pockets of his very expensive, very Armani suit with our mince pies…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employee smells like smoke and it’s making me sick I supervise a small research team, and one of my researchers is especially engaged and productive. They’re deeply invested in our work, and our meetings are usually energizing and full of great ideas. I really value their contribution and want to keep supporting their professional growth. The problem is that this researcher is a heavy smoker, and the smell of smoke lingers on their clothes. I have smoke-induced asthma, and after each in-person interaction I end up coughing, wheezing, or even needing to take a sick day. Unfortunately, due to the nature of our work, …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer in HR who had recently brought in a new manager, Barbara, to manage a team that was resisting any change and complained constantly? Here’s the update. First, Barbara is no longer with our organization. Due to some troubling behavior that was witnessed by multiple people (myself included), and given the nature of Barbara’s actions during her short time with us, we all felt this just wasn’t a good culture fit an…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Can I refuse to pray with my religious client? The advice you gave me was very useful and it helped me to organize my thoughts and see the situation in a more rounded fashion. I have decided to lean into pretending to be religious and keep this client as long as I can. I have my elderly mother living with me and, thanks to the policies of the administration these people voted in, we are struggling and will struggle even further when the health insurance premiums increase ag…

It’s round 2 of the Worst Boss of 2025 voting. In the first round we narrowed the pool from eight nominees to four (see results here). The four winners from round one are paired off in two match-ups below, as we move closer to declaring a winner. 1. Repulsive Rivals – The Nominees: the CEO keeps asking young male employees to try her breast milk my boss said I’m threatened by his “masculine energy” 2. A Loathsome Line-up – The Nominees: my boss told me to stop having sex with my boyfriend or quit my job my company makes summer interns wear bikinis If the voting isn’t showing up for you, you can also vote directly here: pair 1, pair 2 The post vote for the wors…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 12, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who took a job with less responsibility and her coworkers were treating her like she had no experience? Here’s the update. It turns out the part where you asked why it mattered was the crux of the issue. At the time I wrote, we had just hired the woman who told me she had a degree in marketing and “actually knew about this stuff.” She was older than me and a little odd, but I thought she was cool and admired her amazing work ethic. She had a habit of giving me unsolicited advice, like “when you are…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. I worked for a married couple and the husband told his wife we had an affair — but we didn’t I quit my retail management job two years ago over work/life balance issues and started working as a private home chef for a wealthy married couple. Long story short, the wife caught the husband having an affair and rather than admit who it was with and have to stop seeing her, he lied that it was me! She fired me. He apologized to explain himself and tried to give me money, but I was furious and told him off. So I’m on my own now. I need to look for a new …

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – January 2, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My interviewer mentioned my boudoir photos I went to an interview at an event planning company I have wanted to work at for a long time. The first interview was successful and I got along with the group of managers really well. They gave me an assignment to do and, after I did that, they happily invited me to return for a follow-up interview, this time with only one of the managers. We got along so well, and I was told I did very well on the assignment. Near the end of the interview, the manager told me to wait a minute and she left and then came back and offered me the job. I was super ecstatic, and we started chatti…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I’m managing someone who wanted my job, and is acting like it I have recently taken a management role with a new employer, and I love the work and the place I am working. I am in a director position and have learned that the assistant director, Jane, also applied for the job, but obviously was not chosen. How do I handle two things: (1) others in the office asking Jane instead of me when I should make the call (they then catch themselves), and (2) Jane trying to “agree” with what I decide or say, but in a way that suggests her agreement is needed or being solicited? I take pride in being a good manager. I know how to…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Northanger Abbey, Jane Austen’s satire of Gothic novels, which follows the naive Catherine Morland as she navigates society and romance. I hadn’t read this since my teens and, upon re-reading it recently, I discovered I had misremembered it as far more Gothic than it actually is, so it was like discovering an entirely new Austen novel. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – January 31 – February 1, 2026 appeared fir…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told a coworker I’m full of myself I was hired from outside the organization two months ago to turn a lagging department around. My boss, the CEO, was hired from outside about eight months ago for the same reason. This week my peer told me, “I told Boss that he knocked it out of the park hiring you. He said ‘Yep, and she really sings her praises, too.’” I’m sooo embarrassed. I had no idea that I’d made any comments that came across that way, let alone enough to be a trend. My confidence is badly shaken. I have been critical to my boss about many things I have found going on in my division, and then I have ou…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employee dropped the ball on something major while I was away I am the executive director of a small charity. I had the opportunity to support my mom on a three-week holiday in Europe, all expenses paid. My organization had six months notice and I usually end the year not using any vacation time. So no questions or concerns about being away. I brought all the tools to stay in touch with the team. Unfortunately my go-to staffer who was slated to take on three major fundraising events during that time got sick the first week and had to cancel our participation in two of the three events. I’m totally gutted and frust…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My abusive former boss is my new editor A beloved editor at my job left in July. This week, their replacement started — and it is Jane, my abusive former boss from five years ago. Needless to say, I was extremely taken aback (and grateful I was working from home). I have decided to just wait it out and document anything bad that happens should it happen (as you pointed out in another post that I read yesterday, five years is a long time and maybe they changed). Jane won’t be my boss but can assign work to me. But I don’t know how to talk to my coworkers about it when they ask about us working together before. I don’t…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Will people think I named my baby after my employee? I have a direct report who has a name that you don’t necessarily hear every day, but doesn’t strike you as a unique name either. I am currently pregnant and love this name. It’s been on my list of potential names for a while and I have a personal connection to it as well. My hesitation is my direct report — obviously I don’t think she will believe that I named my child after her, but it feels weird to explain and I worry about feeling self-conscious telling colleagues the name we decided. It feels oddly insulting to my colleague to say, “Oh, I didn’t name my baby af…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Boss doesn’t care that new office isn’t accessible I work in a director-level position for a center of a large university. We have experienced significant reductions in staffing following budget cuts and project terminations. Several staff also work remotely. We have a large leased office space off-campus, but now that we only have about 20 people who work in the office regularly (down from over 100), the university has decided that we need to move. This all seems reasonable to me. However, the space the university has proposed is a converted rowhome with steep concrete steps into the front door, a very narrow and ste…