Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Leadership discussing weight loss during an accommodations meeting I’m writing about a conversation that happened a few months ago in my workplace that is still bothering me, and I’m not sure if there’s anywhere to escalate it or if I need to keep working on letting it go. I work in public service for a small city and am part of a union. I was in a meeting with the head of HR (who reports to the mayor), my boss (the director of our organization), and the union rep. The meeting was set up to discuss a medical accommodation I was asking for. I self-identify as a fat woman, but the accommodation in question had nothing t…

A reader writes: As part of a leadership development opportunity offered by my organization, I’ve been given the chance to participate in a 360 review process. For context, I report to a member of the C-suite and have been angling for a promotion (which would entail a new role basically being created for me), and the 360 was brought up by my supervisor and our CEO as a growth investment. I consider myself to be very self aware, so most of the things that came up in the process are not surprising to me, but I’m also very sensitive to criticism, especially from higher-ups. I am very professional and am able to calmly hear the feedback when it’s given, but with this 360, I…

A reader writes: At my company, we have an instant messaging system. A lot of people will send an initial message that says nothing but “you free?” or “hi.” In addition to making me irrationally annoyed (just tell me what you want already!), I have no idea what the appropriate response is. Is it “yes,” “hello Bob,” “what’s up”? All of these seem terrible. What is appropriate IM protocol? I like to start with, “Do you have time for a question about X?” Or just the question if it’s short because that’s what I’d prefer to receive, but maybe people find this rude? I am aware that I am overthinking this but I also can’t stop overthinking it. I answer this question over at …

A reader writes: I work in higher education, in an area that is particularly under political fire. Due to anti-DEIA legislation, there have been people who have been targeted and fired due to anti-diversity advocacy. Some of the incidents have involved video that had been taken clandestinely and then edited for maximum damage. This has led to people losing their jobs and created a space of paranoia. I work in an environment that requires collaboration and collegiality in order to complete work. During a casual meeting with a friendly colleague, they mentioned that another colleague showed them a piece of tech that they were now carrying that allowed them to record the p…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How can I politely dodge a coworker’s MLM product party? How do you politely dodge coworkers’ MLM “parties”? I despise multi-level marketing schemes (MLMs). They’re predatory, cult-like organizations, and I refuse to support them in any way. A coworker recently invited me to her cookware-hawking “party.” Putting aside the fact that I rarely cook anything more elaborate than spaghetti, I really just can’t bring myself to support this. The problem is, this is a colleague who I like a lot and collaborate with regularly. I don’t want to lecture her about the toxic nature of these companies but it feels rude to just blow i…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Famesick, by Lena Dunham. The incredibly talented creator of HBO’s Girls writes about how fame devoured her as she was increasingly losing a battle with chronic illness. I love Girls (as well as her amazing adaptation of Catherine Called Birdy) and, while I haven’t always rooted for Lena’s choices, this book blew me away and I’m glad I read it. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – May 2-3, 2026 appeared first on Ask…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – May 1, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Employees don’t participate in our community outreach activities I’m a part of the “good will” committee for my office location, as well as the large committee for the whole company. Lately I’ve been feeling a struggle of getting other employees actively involved in our initiatives. Good will is a named tenet of our company, and we have a pretty healthy annual budget to go along with it. We try and have one or two initiatives per month that have varying degrees of involvement. Sometimes it involved volunteering onsite (during work hours or directly after). Sometimes it’s asking for donations (gently used books or unex…

A reader writes: My position was recently eliminated. Now former colleagues are texting me to ask questions. I don’t feel obligated to answer. What are some response options when I want to politely say no? You’re not obligated to answer questions when you’re no longer working there. That said, it’s also true that if you want to keep good relationships with these colleagues and might need them for job leads or references (informal or otherwise) in the future, you might not want to take a completely black-and-white line on this. You definitely shouldn’t do work of any real substance when you’re no longer getting paid — like a detailed update on the history of a project …

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Should I tell my boss about an employee who’s claiming overtime when she’s not working? (#4 at the link) Your response and the comments gave me the courage to bring this up again with the manager. I used the morale and budget angles (my director is currently keeping an eye on the budget due to the current instability) and it seems to have worked. Manager actually agreed they could no longer sanction (turn a blind eye to) 5+ hours of overtime a week. It is fine if the employee wants to come in early and hang out, but they need to clock in when the work begins. Thank you for giving me the confidence and courage to push …

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: Luckily no one in my office is biting anyone, but my formerly pretty-good job has devolved into a toxic mess. I found myself pressing my ear against my wall to try and glean basic (not sensitive or confidential) information I needed to do my job by eavesdropping on a conversation next door. My officemate wasn’t ruffled; instead he grabbed a glass to better hear it, because that was a reasonable reaction to the situation we are in. Obviously we need to get the hell out, and we’re working on it. But in the meantime, I’d love to hear readers share their own behavior that made perfect sense in the context of t…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Company said I could move after my husband took a new job and now they won’t let me I work for a large corporation with a Remote First policy, and compensation is location-based with three tiers. While their policy says permanent relocations must be approved, there is no employee-facing material that says relocation is not allowed up a tier. For example, there is nothing saying someone in a lower cost of living city (Tier 3) who needs to move to a high cost of living city (Tier 1) will not be approved. My husband applied for and got a job in a Tier 1 location. He flew out to start the job (his start date was four days…

We recently talked about people applying for — in working in — jobs that were clearly at odds with what they wanted to do, and here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The lack of turtles I worked with a lot of field biologists who were unsuited, mostly because they went into the field since they loved being outdoors and then were shocked to find that the job consisted of very boring and monotonous walking off trail and meticulous record keeping. But my favorite not-suited coworker was fine with all that! Except what she really wanted to be doing was surveying for turtles. Sadly, not a lot of our projects involved turtles. She still did a great job, but all her…

A reader writes: I own a small takeout restaurant. We have four employees, plus me and my business partner. It’s hard to hire and when we find employees who show up every day and meet our expectations, we try to keep them happy. We’ve had one employee for about 2.5 years now. Slowly over time, she has started taking more and more liberties in regards to food and ignoring our requests for her to do a task. I’ve had conversations with her three times, and things always get better for a period and then she starts to slip again. Recently, she’s started taking more than the $10 meal we provide per day (covers a sandwich, side, and drink). She’ll take an extra drink once or …

A reader writes: My coworker, Chuckie, has concerns. A lot of concerns. They aren’t necessarily unfounded — I would say about 50% are completely justified, 40% have some foundation but are overblown, either mildly or significantly, and 10% are ridiculous — but he tends to bring them up with the attitude of a beleaguered martyr airing grievances rather than a professional colleague addressing work issues. He often talks at length about his own stress and frustration and implies (or even outright states) that no one outside of our department cares about the work we do or the people we serve. My main problem is that sometimes Chuckie raises issues in a way that implies he …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me my dresses need to be longer My line manager told me yesterday that there had been “comments made” about how short / inappropriate my dresses are in the office, as a member of the team who is front-facing for clients. I was asked to not wear these outfits in the office any longer. These comments have utterly humiliated me, and I spent about an hour crying on my way home. I have always dressed fairly modestly at work and am deeply uncomfortable with my body being perceived as being “on display.” My dresses are long-sleeved, with skirts that stop just above my knee. They are conventional office wear. I p…

Two questions, similar answers. The first one: I am hiring my first ever direct report, and I live in a salary transparency state. My HR department notified me that, legally, you have to post the entire salary range possible for the role and you cannot limit it to your preferred hiring range. This puts me, as the hiring manager, in a tough spot because candidates see a range of $75,000-110,000 and immediately believe one of two things: 1) They can start at $110,000 if they meet the basic requirements or 2) The role automatically starts at $75,000 and I’m a horrible hiring manager for pricing it so low (yes, I got that comment on the job posting) The reality is, the $7…

A reader writes: I’m about six months into a job and I’m having an issue with someone on my team, Sally. She is very lovely, kind, and a team player. Our roles are similar, except I am part-time and she is full-time. She’s been in this job for almost 20 years and I think she thinks I’m much more green than I am. While I’m new to my role, I’ve done very similar, and often much more complex, versions of this role at other organizations. Our team’s projects are similar and we help each other as needed, but at the end of the day they are fully owned by each team member. Sally seems to think there is one right way to do things and only she knows what it is. She seems incapab…

Earlier this month was the annual Ask a Manager salary survey. This week, let’s compare paid time off. Fill out the form below to anonymously share how much paid time off you get, in the context of your field and other relevant factors. (Do not leave your info in the comments section! If you can’t see the survey questions, try this link instead.) When you’re done, you can view all the responses in a sortable spreadsheet. (Note: I have been unable to figure out how to make this work for jobs like teachers who get summers off but will happily take suggestions on that for next time.) Loading… The post how much paid time off do you get? appeared first on Ask a Manager. …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss doesn’t want to give me a bonus because I’m leaving soon I am moving soon to another state and leaving my agency to be closer to family. I really don’t want to leave and neither does my boss. He even advocated for me to stay on as fully remote, but his boss and HR said no; the agency has a new strict policy that doesn’t allow employees to be fully remote. I have no choice but to resign. Coincidentally, my annual performance review is due shortly before the time my lease is up and I have to leave my job. My annual reviews have always come with a bonus, so I’m expecting a lump sum payment that will help cover so…

A reader writes: I recently moved across the country to be closer to my partner’s extended family. We went from a large metropolitan area to a smaller town, where I transitioned to a new industry. My new job entails answering the phone, which, frankly, is something I have always excelled at. However, for whatever reason (geography, industry, or the simple increased prevalence of AI), I’m now confronted several times each day by people who assume that I am AI. Their reactions range from treating me as non-human (gruffly yelling, “GET AN ESTIMATE!”) to questioning my humanity (“Are you real?”) to hanging up and calling back several times before asking to speak to a “real h…

A workplace email signature is normally the most forgettable part of a message — just a name, a title, a phone number, and maybe a logo dutifully appended by IT. It’s boilerplate by design, stripped of personality and meant to fade into the background. But when employers give workers more freedom to personalize email signatures, they can quickly get retaliatory, overly personal, or just downright weird. At Slate today, I wrote about some email signatures gone very wild. You can read it here. The post email signatures gone wild appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I work at a university managing the production aspects of the theater. I manage five staff members and one of them, Jane, can be hard to work with. She can be quite abrasive and abrupt, and I have already had several meetings with her to address the harsh tone she uses. She started this year and comes from a professional background where she needed to be very assertive in her role or she would not have been able to get anything done. Her job now requires lots of student interaction and direction and she is speaking to them like she would these professional crew members she encountered in the past and some of the students feel like she is disrespecting a…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can a manager lead a Bible study? I am a mid-level supervisor for a state government agency. While I directly supervise several employees, about half of the employees in my section directly report to my manager, “Michael.” He, in turn, reports to “David” and “Jan,” who are the chief and the second-in-command. There are several other sections within our agency that do separate work, and those sections have their own corresponding Michaels, who also report to David and Jan. Hypothetically (I do not have any plans to do this currently), given the fact that I supervise some employees, would it be inappropriate for me to o…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: How to be Good, by Nick Hornby. When her husband suddenly becomes saintly, a woman and her kids must cope with the pressure. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – April 25-26, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article