Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I manage the recruiting of volunteers for a small nonprofit, and there’s an otherwise strong candidate, Jane, who has a past on the Internet. Another volunteer and I interviewed her Jane an open position, and it was wonderful. She presented herself as warm, professional, and knowledgeable in our work, and she was one of my top choices. However, a different volunteer recognized Jane because of a small “incident” that had happened at the volunteer’s alma mater, and the volunteer showed me evidence of what happened online. Six years ago, Jane’s then-high-school-aged sister had applied for a university in the midwest and wanted to be on a particular sports …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I check on my boss when she’s late to work? I have autism and this falls into the realm of social norms that I struggle to navigate. My department is made up of just my supervisor and myself. We’re in public-facing roles and our office is open 12 hours a day, so we alternate shifts. Each day one of us opens and one of us comes in four hours later and then closes for the day. On the days my supervisor closes, she sometimes comes in late with no notice. I’m currently sitting at my desk wondering if I should check in with her because she was su…

Content warning for upsetting discussion of sexual abuse of children. A reader writes: I spent most of my 20s managing a business, eventually becoming more or less second-in-command. The owner was an older guy in his 60s. He was a bit of a grumpy guy and more conservative than me in many ways, but we overall got along very well. I found that he was generally a fair guy, and we bonded over a few shared interests. I wouldn’t call him a “friend,” but we had a good relationship. He sold his business in 2020 (he was planning to retire that year anyway and the pandemic moved up the timeline a few months). He and I stayed in loose texting contact until I stopped hearing from …

A reader writes: Some colleagues and I have a question on interview etiquette from the interviewer side that we can’t agree on. If you give someone a job interview, should you give them a way to contact you? My thinking is, yes, if you interview a job candidate, you should give them either your work phone or work email so they can follow up if they need to. For example, what if they need to withdraw their application? Or if they have a change of phone number or email address they need to inform you about? Or if they would just like to send a thank-you/follow-up email after the interview? The other two managers on our team don’t like providing this information. They hav…

A reader writes: I work for a small organization that prides ourselves on being very good with our benefits, including paid parental leave. We’ve never had a pregnant staffer, so all of our plans are in theory and not yet been tested in real life. We’ve been having issues lately with staff not adhering to our office hours of 9-5 and coming and going as they see fit, so I had to call a staff meeting last week to address it and let them know that we can no longer be as flexible as we once were because too many people were abusing the system. This has included a lot of “I don’t feel well so I’m going to sleep a bit longer and then work from home today once I feel better” w…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: About a year and a half ago, I was forced to lay off multiple employees. I was truly heartbroken to see most of them go. But there were two employees I swore I’d never hire back. They both did fairly decent work, but were bullies who fed off of one another’s bad behavior. They were constantly in my office explaining why they’d said something nasty to one of their coworkers or why they’d ransacked another’s belongings. They were also blatantly disrespectful to me. One was far worse than the other, though. Now that we’re hiring again, employees have contacted me and asked for their job…

A reader writes: I am currently looking for a new job because I am currently being taken advantage of … again (being given more and more work because I am skilled enough I handle it, but no pay increase so underpaid for my experience and the world we live in right now). So pay is the main factor for me in this job search. My first instinct is to just completely ignore the job postings without the pay listed because I don’t want to waste my time. A job may look perfect but if it’s for the same amount I’m making now (or less!) or not that much more, I don’t care what it is. (I also don’t care what it is if the pay is right. If I think I can do it, I’m applying.) But with …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader asks: My small business has had a recurring discussion regarding taking meetings with job seekers when we don’t have an open position. Someone will reach out, either by stopping by our office without an appointment or just sending an inquiry by email, and ask if they can meet with someone. In the past, we have taken these meetings as sort of informal interviews. From what I recall, we’ve never made a hire from these meetings when there’s no existing connection to our company or staff. Over the last few years, I’ve discouraged these meetings. They just take up time for our team when we don’t …

A reader writes: I am interviewing for two positions currently. So far I’ve interviewed six people and not one has sent any kind of follow-up or thank-you note. I can tell from the virtual meeting invite that they all have my email address, so that’s not the reason. I polled some friends and got a split on if these notes are even required nowadays. I know you always suggest writing a strong thank-you note to improve your candidacy, but honestly I’d be thrilled with even a one-line acknowledgement. With the candidates all being comparable, any candidate sending me a note is certainly going to rank higher for me. Am I being old-fashioned with this? I answer this question …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I want to quit my job and open a bookstore I work in tax accounting. Tax season just ended and the overtime nearly killed me. I love my job but I’m tired of it. I’m also in my mid twenties and more or less feel like I settled down too soon. I work at a small firm and the owners are the best bosses I’ve ever had. I really enjoy the people I work with and I enjoy what I do. I’m well paid and have good benefits including 100% employer paid health insurance. But I’m starting to get tired of it. Lately I’ve been fantasizing about opening a bookstore. I…

A reader writes: Years ago, I got to know Fergus, the head of a local organization I worked with through my previous job. Fergus eventually left the organization to pursue other opportunities, and shortly afterward, I had a meeting with other members of the team, including the person who had succeeded him. At one point in the conversation, I asked if they knew how Fergus was doing and received a fairly non-committal answer. A couple days later, I received an email from the new manager that had very clearly been written by lawyers, informing me that after Fergus’ departure they had discovered financial improprieties during his time running the organization and had severe…

Two questions, same topic. The first one: I’m on the job hunt, and I have some DEI-focused experience on my resume. I’ve received five rejections from the ~15 jobs I’ve applied for (at least they responded instead of ghosting me!) and I’m wondering if the DEI work is getting flagged. I revamped my team’s interview process to be more equitable and reduce bias, I joined the company’s DEI group when it started in 2020, and I have volunteer experience with a DEI group outside of work. It’s not my entire resume, but it’s enough bullet points and buzzwords to show that I have opinions. In today’s anti-DEI world, should I remove this from my resume? Probably worth noting, I’m…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: The letter you posted from the volunteer who didn’t disclose something to a student’s teacher and parents reminded me about something that happened to me a while ago with an outside mentor for an after-school program, especially since I was a lot like Marvin in that letter (without the expensive romantic overtures). I was the only girl in a STEM club at my high school, and the mentor was, let’s say, a teapot designer who also trained teapot drivers. Bob wasn’t actually a teacher at my school. He was a volunteer who worked at a well-known organization that the club was associated with…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Should I tell my job I’m going to quit if they don’t deal with my horrible coworker? I’ve been at this job for over 15 years. My coworker, Sally, has been here for less than three. She has questioned my experience and knowledge from the start, despite my seniority, but it got worse in late 2024. Among other things, she has slept at her desk every day since I started noticing it last year (not exaggerating). She talks down to everyone she works with, but especially me. She has made awful comments about people’s bodies and talks about her own bodily functions far more than is appropriate. My schedule was changed so I wo…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I speak up about a management failure as I’m leaving? I’m a former teacher who resigned to take on a couple of lower key and much less stressful jobs. One of them is as an assistant at an after-school science club for pre-teens run by a nonprofit. It appealed because I could bring my skills and interact with kids (which I miss) but I had little responsibility or admin hassle. I am supposed to rock up and find everything planned and resourced. I’m a “pair of hands” for the session (and am paid accordingly!). But the course leader, Meg, is in her first job out of college and not equipped to do the job, so I have …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I take a job with my politician brother? My brother is running for local office as a Democrat in our very blue state. I think he has a great shot at winning, and not just saying that because he is my brother. This district has swung very blue since 24. His GOP opponents are definitely beatable. My state has no rules or guidelines on nepotism in office. So if he wins, and he probably can, I will almost certainly be offered something in his office. I will almost certainly be offered some office in his campaign, as well. Should I take it? On the one hand, it’s working for the family in a huge pressure cooker. On t…

A reader writes: I am in a front-line commercial role at a tech start-up. I am responsible for bringing in new business, and this story pertains to my colleague Zayne, who manages a lot of the back-end, integrations side of things. Zayne is fantastic at what he does. The guy might actually be a genius, and I don’t say that lightly. He has a ton of ideas, seems to really love what he does, and is good at it. He’s also very open about his mental health, which I admire but it can admittedly take me back sometimes. I grew up in a family where we often don’t share things like that, and it’s something I’m trying to unpack as an adult, but even so I find myself at a loss for w…

A reader writes: I work in an industry notorious for poor work-life balance. Our company has an unlimited PTO policy, with most people on the team taking about 15-20 days, usually no more than five straight days at a time. (So one week off per quarter, just about) I have a team member who has asked for feedback. She wants to grow and be assigned more high-profile, visible projects. The quality of her work is average to slightly above average, so there’s room for growth there. On top of this, the main thing I believe is preventing her from achieving these goals is that people perceive her to be on vacation all the time. I’d say she’ll end up taking around 30 days (six w…

A reader writes: I work for a large, quickly growing international business headquartered in the United States. I’m in HR and often collaborate with finance. My work is challenging, exciting, and I feel valued as an employee. But that’s actually part of the problem. Not to accidentally quote Liam Neeson, but I have a particular set of skills that makes me very difficult to replace. I have strong job security, I’m paid well enough to support my family, I have decent benefits, and I love my coworkers. But I have also been burnt out for over a year. Being neurodivergent and learning how autistic burnout differs from standard burnout has been a wild ride. My managers (yes,…

A reader writes: Should I give my coworker a heads up that everyone in our office sees her (Beth) and another of our coworkers (Sean) flirting and thinks they’re sleeping together? I’ve personally seen them chit chat and act all giggly together, as well as “check each other out,” like look each other up and down. Sean is twice the age of Beth, but Beth is still almost middle-aged. I think other people in the office are gossiping hard and, while I’m not 100% certain there’s anything going on (they’re both married), I heard that our director said something to Sean so now they don’t stop by and chat as often. Should I tell Beth how this friendship with Sean is coming off …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I tell people at the company we just acquired what they’re in for? A few years ago, I started at a small company which within a year of me joining was acquired by a massive international company based on the opposite coast. At the time, my boss and the now (forcibly) retired owner were told that we would still be able to be largely independent, with more support for the work we do currently. It wasn’t until all the paperwork was signed, sealed, and delivered that everyone realized this couldn’t be further from the truth. Staff and offices we were promised wouldn’t be touched have been gutted. Our workload has a…

A reader writes: I wonder this each time I get a cold and thought I’d get your opinion. My company has hybrid work; we’re expected in the office three or more days per week. I have a cold so told my manager I’d be WFH on Monday and she was supportive. I was still feeling crummy on Tuesday so again told her I was WFH, and she again was supportive but less enthusiastically so. So now it’s Wednesday, I still have a cold but symptoms are manageable with cold meds, and I feel like I have to go in. I’m planning on wearing a mask but will still be more miserable than if I was allowed to WFH with all my creature comforts for surviving a cold. My boss hadn’t explicitly told me I …

A reader writes: I left my last job after 3.5 months despite receiving consistently high praise privately from the director (my direct manager) of my department. At a year-end all-hands meeting where the entire company of at least 70+ people attended and each department gave a status update, I did not get any public recognition in my department of four. One person was called a Salesforce “wizard” and another was praised for doing the hard work of helping set up the infrastructure. The director had only been there two months longer than me, and no one in our team worked there for longer than one year. Needless to say, this was hurtful and humiliating. In just 3.5 month…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This is a community organizing issue, but it is ultimately about working closely with someone where there’s conflict, and one where I think a professional approach might be most useful. I (they/them) am a leader in a social justice-oriented community organization along with someone I’ll call Paul (he/they). We have the same type of leadership position, and we’re both quite active so we communicate daily and are in meetings at least once a week. We’ve been in conflict for four months, since I told Paul that the way Paul interrupts, criticizes, corrects, scolds, and dismisses me and ot…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: What are your thoughts and the etiquette around getting drinks with coworkers when you’re in leadership position? I’m a female, on a younger side, in a leadership role at a small-to-medium size organization. We recently had a company event, after which 5–10 people went out for drinks and stayed for a couple of hours. It was just great to see some colleagues that are often in different locations, and most of them do not report to me. A while later, an exec mentioned that he thought it was inappropriate to go out drinking with subordinates. I understand that colleagues may not always …