Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My husband says it’s inappropriate to dine or carpool with my boss I have a great relationship with my boss. He is incredibly supportive of my professional growth and is a good mentor. We work well together on projects and complement each other’s skills. We’ve built a great team and are very intentional about culture. Relationships are incredibly important in our field. Some context: He is a man, I am a woman, and he’s about 10 years older than me. My husband hates my boss, and he’s not shy about it. He says my boss doesn’t look him in the eye or shake his hand when they run into each other at work functions. He alway…

A reader writes: I have been managing a corporate team for a little under a year, and I’ve gotten to know them all over the last few months. One employee, Sally, is smart, quiet, and a hard worker. However, when I talk to her, I started noticing that I was getting a lot of silence and a glazed look back. I tried a few different ways to ask questions and have a conversation over the months, but nothing has led to a change in her demeanor. At one point, I was wondering if she was high at work, since she seemed to me to be so checked out during conversation. Then a few months ago, I learned about the Gen Z stare – and I think that’s what I’ve been encountering! Sally is Ge…

With aggressive ICE raids expanding to an increasing number of cities, I’m sharing the following guidance from a community organizer in Chicago about what to do if ICE shows up at your workplace. I’m in Chicago, which has been targeted aggressively by ICE and Border Patrol for the last two months. ICE actions are expanding into many other cities, and I wanted to share some resources and tips from our city’s experiences with your readers. Inc. has a solid article on the rights of business owners when ICE shows up. It’s important to know what your rights are, especially about private areas and documentation. However, ICE frequently and blatantly disregards legal limitatio…

We recently talked about times AI got it really wrong, and here are 20 of the most ridiculous stories you shared. 1. The fake initiative Our execs usually send out a hype email right before the annual employee morale survey, emphasizing wins from the past year, basically trying to put people in a positive frame of mind. Last year’s included the announcement of a major new program we knew employees really wanted. But it was a bit surprising, because it fell in an area my team was responsible for, and we were out of the loop, despite advocating strenuously for this over the years. So I went to the exec to a) convey enthusiasm for his newfound dedication to launching this…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Fire one employee, both employees, or no one? I am an assistant manager at a chain restaurant. There are two employees who should be fired due to violating our call-out policy, which is two NCNS (no call, no show) in a row is automatic termination and if you can’t make your shift you need to call the store with at least three hours notice. Both employees have violated this in different ways. Adam gives three hours notice sometimes but calls out at least once a week, and dictates his schedule to us instead of us scheduling him as we need him. He refuses to call and opts to text out, but is never a NCNS. He is generally…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: This is half-question, half-plea. I’d love to hear from readers who didn’t get into a fulfilling / interesting / creative / what-you-actually-want-to-do career until after age 40. I’m having a bit of a slow, long-term personal breakdown of shame over my “career.” I started out a high achiever, interested in so many things and studying so many creative and academic pursuits. I went to a good college, got great grades, and have so many interests. But graduating into the Great Recession without a much family money behind me (and not having worked during school) left me working retail / customer service / secre…

A reader writes: My husband, Jim, is a managing attorney at a small firm that is entirely remote, with lawyers spread out across the region. He recently hired a mid-level attorney, Fergus, who is based in a different city and who reports directly to him. Fergus started 10 days ago and to date appears to have done no work. Beginning on day one, he began telling Jim and other senior attorneys that he was having a “temporary personal crisis” and needed more time to finish the assignments he was given. He didn’t specify the nature of this crisis, and no one has felt comfortable probing and they have tried to be accommodating. But now deadlines are approaching and they have …

A reader writes: I’m fairly new to the workforce (~3 years) and, between a time-limited paid fellowship and moving cities for grad school, I’ve changed jobs a couple of times. My current role is the first time I’ve been eligible to apply for a new role within my same organization, and while the job market makes me suspect that hordes of qualified people will be jumping on this posting, I’m optimistic about my chances. The organization would definitely prefer to hire internally if they can. I’ve already been cross-trained on some of the functions of this new role, and I know I can talk intelligently about my approach to the work in an interview. But what do I do when th…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Managers who don’t want to hear about problems without solutions Why do managers tell employees to only bring them solutions, not problems? I hear this a lot, and I’m not sure I get it. I understand that they don’t want people to complain to them about minor issues that could be solved with direct communication. However, I feel like if people take this advice literally, they won’t report actual problems. Recently, my team had an issue where two employees were repeatedly shouting at each other in meetings. In this case, a manager did witness one of the incidents, so it was addressed without a peer needing to escalate.…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – November 14, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Grace & Henry’s Holiday Movie Marathon, by Matthew Norman. After being recently widowed, a mom raising two young kids meets a man who recently lost his wife, and they slowly start to rebuild their lives. It is charming and legitimately funny and there’s a lot of Baltimore in it, and I loved it. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – November 15-16, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Getting drunk texts from a former coworker I have been remote working at a company for about a year and a half now, and have been enjoying it. About a month ago, I had a coworker reach out and ask if he could use me as a reference for a job he was interviewing for. I gave him my number for the application, I gave my reference to the company, and he left for his new job shortly after. Then things started to get odd. Now that he has my number, I’ve started to get gibberish texts from him late at night, almost like sleeptalking. Like “I’m such an idiot, going to baseball later, tell me why?” When asked about it, he has a…

A reader writes: I started my job in 2023 and became good friends with Ellie. We have similar roles, but different divisions, so rarely overlapped. We bonded over being unhappy in our roles and having a shared male “mentor,” who turned out to be quite the creep (he ended up leaving before we did). We both ultimately made plans to leave that job, she a little before me. During our friendship, I did sometimes notice she could be a bit immature (framing everything in terms of “high-school cliques”) which I just sort of laughed off/ignored. I also got the sense she was pushing me to leave my job, less so because it was good for me, but because she wanted our office to “take…

A reader writes: I work at a small start-up with about 15 people. We all work remotely. We recently hired a new employee for my team, and he is probably the youngest person in the company. We serve a pretty conservative field in terms of dress, expectations, formality — think along the lines of investment banking, law, or accounting. In internal Zoom meetings, our team wears whatever — sweatshirts, ball caps, athleisure, anything goes really. Externally, when meeting with our industry, we usually take it up just a notch; some people wear a sweater or a nice top, others stay bit more casual but would wear maybe a plain t-shirt with no writing on it, and generally appear n…

A reader writes: I work for a local government office that is being affected by the federal chaos. We currently have a hiring freeze and expect to lose several key positions when Congress finally passes a budget. Best case scenario is that the dozen or so positions we have open will be eliminated. Worst case is that one of our largest departments will be shuttered and another will be severely downsized. My team is not federally funded but is taking on a lot of the work previously done by the vacant positions. My grandboss, who came to us from the private sector just this year, feels bad that he can’t give us raises or bonuses to reward us for all the extra work we’re do…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee keeps falling asleep in meetings I have an employee who joined the team about 10 months ago. He is a good contributor so far, but I’ve noticed he has a bad habit of drowsing off during afternoon meetings, especially ones that are within an hour after lunch. I brought it up to him once about 2-3 months after he joined the team, and told him frankly that it was unprofessional and not acceptable. He agreed and said that he would work on getting better. But in the past month I’ve noticed it happening again. He’s also a bit older (maybe early 60’s though I don’t know his exact age) — not that age changes anything, …

A reader writes: This month, I started a new job that offers excellent benefits, including a policy stating that employees who “self-identify” on an addiction issue can take time off to get help without penalty. As a high-functioning untreated alcoholic, I’m very grateful for this, but unsure how to navigate it. (Kudos to all the authors of personnel policies out there who wrote language like this. Sincerely, those folks need to know how grateful some employees are for those clauses! Thank you! You are helping people!) Here’s the situation: I’ve had a long-term drinking problem and know in-patient treatment would finally help me address it. Out-patient didn’t stick, and…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is dating a teenager I work in retail and have younger coworkers rotate through on a regular basis. Think late teens to early twenties. I am significantly older than them and often offer general life advice or encouragement. One of my coworkers (22) can be a bit sporadic. He’s a hard worker and fairly cheerful person but on rare occasions he makes really stupid decisions without thinking of the consequences. Previous problems include gambling more than he should have, not showing up for work, and slashing his roommate’s tires after an argument. I’m aware that this makes him sound like a nightmare but it is…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Wreck, by Catherine Newman. A woman in middle age has a delightful family, a mysterious rash, and a preoccupation with a local train accident. The family is the same one from Newman’s earlier novel, Sandwich, but this book is 10 times funnier, and you don’t need to have read the first one to enjoy this one. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – November 22-23, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full arti…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – November 21, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I’m being asked to lead DEI training with no expertise in it I’m very happy to work for a company that remains committed to DEI, even in this strange time. The direction coming down from many levels above me is that the company will be implementing DEI training for all employees. And because my colleague and I have experience conducting training, the powers-that-be have decided that we will present the DEI training, even though we have no expertise in DEI. We’ve had a chance to preview the course they want to use, and it is A LOT. Maybe this is a model DEI course? I wouldn’t know, since this is not my field! On top of…

A reader writes: Sending in a question I truly never thought I would have to ask: what are some things that my organization, as an employer, can do to help ensure staff safety in areas of increased and contentious ICE action? We have staff of Hispanic heritage (“present” Hispanic, names clearly of that background if ID or car registration were checked) who are frequently on the road for our organization. This includes many areas where they are an ethnic minority and which have colloquial reputations for profiling (but staff do not report previous issues) — and areas with increased, visible, concerning ICE enforcement. We’re talking large scale “operations” which seem to…

A reader writes: I’ve been looking to move to a new company for many months now, and recently a personal connection was able to introduce me to several high-level contacts in my desired industry. Through this contact I have spoken to senior/executive-director level people at several firms that I would love to work with. However, with the exception of one conversation where we directly discussed openings at their organization, these conversations have generally been networking/informational interviewing. My connections who referred me to these contacts always seem a little surprised that the conversations have not led directly to at least an interview, but I’ve been very…

Sometimes the biggest battles at work — and definitely the funniest — are over very small things: the office-wide meltdown when new phones were installed with fewer speed dial buttons; mundane parking rules that led to threats, bribery, and fake parking tickets; a rebellion after a change to the cafeteria’s sushi trays; and a full-on mutiny over thinner bacon. Let’s discuss very big office battles over very small things. Share what you’ve seen in the comment section. The post let’s discuss: very big office battles over very small things appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I recently took a new job in my same industry and city. In my new role, I’ll have a team of eight reporting to me in various capacities and functions. During the interview process, I got a brief read-out of the team and a high level talent assessment. Nothing stood out as an issue. On my first day, I met the team reporting to me. One of the people on the team is someone that worked for me before and who I terminated for cause due to performance at my previous company. What do I communicate to my management team and/or HR about this situation? It feels weird to say nothing because ultimately, this could be a management issue — I’m sure this employee does…