Performance Tracking and Feedback

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Two Mrs. Grenvilles, by Dominick Dunne. A showgirl marries into an old money family, and there is a murder. My sister sent this to me when I said I wanted something light and it was perfect: a froth of gossip and old money and social climbing. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – January 17-18, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – January 16, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker smells like mildew and our managers won’t say anything We have a first shift and a second shift and rotate placements each week. I am on second shift, and my issue is with Ryan on first shift. Ryan is very nice, is a friend of my friend who got me the job, and seems to have pretty normal interests for a young man, but he absolutely reeks of mildew. So bad that every single one of our chairs permanently smells like mildew, as well as our floor mats, and whatever work area he is assigned to that week. I have worked here for just over a year and this issue started about six months ago. I realized how bad it wa…

A reader writes: When should an employer contest an unemployment charge and when should they let it be? I’m an HR department of one, and the managers have me contest almost everything! It’s hard to explain to them when it pays (poor performance) and when it doesn’t (gross misconduct). Can you help to determine what it should look like? This past year, we had an unprecedented number of firings and it’s been a doozy. Most of the time, employers should avoid contesting unemployment benefits unless something egregious happened. They definitely shouldn’t be doing it as a reflexive response to any unemployment filing. First, the basic rules around unemployment benefits: in …

Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My husband doesn’t want anyone I work with to know we’re married Thank you for publishing my letter — it was quite reassuring to read that this particular request from my husband was giving others pause as well. There was a lot of speculation in the comments, which was quite amusing to read, and lots of excellent points being made too! I do want to add that my husband has always been very conscious about sharing “private” info, but to be clear — he’s never hidden the fact that he is a married (straight) man, but he won’t go around telling his coworkers my name or my employer. Like you said, this was more of a husband p…

Movies and TV shows are notorious for getting things wildly wrong about real-life jobs. What’s something ridiculous about your profession that you’ve seen in movies or on TV? Please share in the comments. The post what’s something ridiculous about your profession that you’ve seen in movies or on TV? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker spends so long in the bathroom that I’m stuck with all the work Can anything realistically be done about a coworker who spends ages in the bathroom? We work in a cafeteria in four-hour shifts where there’s only one hour we serve food. It’s two people on our shift, me and Fergus. He’s in the bathroom for at least 15-20 minutes, sometimes twice a shift. He does sometimes wait until it’s slow, but sometimes he takes so long it goes into when we’re busy. Like yesterday he went at 5:25, and at 5:45 I got fed up and yelled his name. He finally came back. Lunch starts at 6 and we actually start making it at 5:30…

A reader writes: I’m dealing with two issues from the same event with the same employee. I am the manager for a warehouse distribution center for a larger company. For our holiday party, I handed out RSVP cards with a choice of one of three dinners for the employee and a guest a few weeks ahead of the party so we knew of a count for the meals and we could pre-pay. The dinner was at a somewhat upscale location (a country club). I was somewhat surprised when one of my employees (Kyle) showed up not only with his wife, but also a 5-6 year old child/grandchild. After the meal and while I was making a speech about how the company was doing, work anniversaries, etc., the chi…

A reader writes: I’m a professional woman in my early 50s hiring for a position on my team. My colleague (a mid-40s man) and I interviewed a good candidate for a junior position (a man in his late 20s) with whom we have each subsequently exchanged a few emails. In each email the candidate has sent to my colleague, he calls him “Mr. [last name]” but in mine, he calls me by my first name. We’re pretty informal in our office, were relaxed in our interviews, and have always signed our emails with just our first names. I’m confused by the difference in addressing us. My husband says it’s sexism and a big red flag. I’m curious as to your thoughts. I answer this question — and…

A few months ago, a commenter mentioned that they work as a conflict of interest professional, and many of us wanted to hear more. She graciously agreed to do an interview about her work, and here’s our conversation. Can you start by describing what conflict of interest professionals do, overall? So, broadly, conflict of interest professionals are usually housed somewhere in a company or university’s compliance department, working closely with the rest of the teams who make sure various laws or policies are being followed. In the most general sense, what we do is to ask questions about the non-work relationships and activities of our employees that could affect the pers…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee misses a ton of work and we don’t know what to do I manage the manager of a newer employee. We’re outside the U.S., where everyone has generous paid vacation and sick leave. The problem is that she takes long vacations at inconvenient times and far more sick days than average. Taken together, these absences are creating real strain on the team. Because some of it may be health-related, I’m not confident about how to address it. Since starting a year ago, she has taken far more (five times more) sick leave than her peers, often on Fridays or Mondays or on days with important deadlines and presentations. Her wo…

A reader writes: I’m the manager of a large department, one of whose functions is to run an in-person helpdesk service. Our primary audience is under-25s. We have a member of staff who has requested to wear earphones whilst working on the helpdesk to help manage sensory overload. We always make adjustments for staff where we can to help manage any conditions they may have, be they physical or mental, with the proviso that the adjustments ensure they can do the job. Here’s where I wonder if I’m being unreasonable and/or out-of-date in my thinking. I’ve said that I don’t mind discreet in-ear headphones, but I draw the line at big over-ear headphones. It’s a customer-faci…

A reader writes: I had a new employee start on a Tuesday. That Friday, I woke up to a text from my new hire from the night before, saying that she would not be in on Friday, that something had come up and she would see me on Monday. This is an in-person job in a corporate environment. I fully respect a person’s right to take a sick day and I feel nobody is obligated to share personal details, but I also don’t feel like “something came up” quite cuts it, especially on what would be your fourth day on the job. I’m looking for some guidance on where to set my expectations (regardless of this person working out or not). Am I out of line to feel “something came up” feels in…

A reader writes: I’m at a loss here. I have a coworker I’ll call Riley from a different department in my organization. Riley and I were becoming pretty good work friends, when they experienced a psychotic break and tried to end their own life. I didn’t want someone I cared about to die, so I stepped up as a support person. I learned that Riley had been hospitalized before for the same reason before we met. I thought I was equipped to absorb some of their pain while they worked through mental health treatment and stabilized. Riley was better for a few months, then spiraled and went back to the hospital. This cycle never stopped. I don’t even remember how many times they…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I’m afraid of dogs and our chairman brings his dog to work I work at a small business (fewer than 100 people, all in one building) and I am mildly cynophobic (afraid of dogs). Logically, I’m aware that this is mostly irrational, but I tense up and can’t focus on anything else when a dog is nearby. The chairman of our company has a dog, who he often (most days) brings to the office. He has also been known to encourage other people to bring their dogs to work. You can imagine how I feel about this. However, many people like the dogs. A couple of years ago, I made an anonymous request, via my then-manager, for measures …

We recently discussed very big office battles over very small things, and here are 15 of the funniest stories you shared. 1. The new broker A couple of years ago, we changed benefit brokers. Not benefits, just the brokers. We sent out a quick announcement and had them come in so everyone could meet them. This did not affect people’s coverage. They actually got a dedicated phone number they could use for issues. People went bananas. Like we killed their brother. They liked the old broker. How could we be so disloyal? Why do they need a special phone number, they used to be able to just email the broker? This is going to be a disaster. Readers, it wasn’t a disaster. Our…

A reader writes: I could use some advice about some employees, two of whom report to me and one who doesn’t. Bob reports to me. He assigns cases to both Sue and Sally. Sue reports to me and Sally doesn’t. Sue and Sally don’t like Bob. They don’t like his brusque (but still professional) style, they don’t like that he’s not “nice” like his predecessor, and they don’t like it when he seems inconsistent. Bob doesn’t like his decisions questioned. He comes from a legal background and really can be pretty officious. Again, it’s not unprofessional, but it’s certainly not friendly or warm. He could go a long way in being collegial. When I direct Bob to be patient with Sue an…

A reader writes: I’m currently 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and my husband and I received some devastating news that the pregnancy may not be viable. We will get testing to confirm either way, but if it’s definitely not viable we would make the very difficult and heartbreaking decision to terminate this very wanted baby. We won’t find out until 17-18 weeks, which will make it physically and emotionally quite difficult and necessitate some time off. This week I reached out to the head of employee entitlements in HR and asked about leave options in the event I have to terminate a non-viable pregnancy. Pregnancy loss leave and stillbirth leave are fortunately avai…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I’m managing someone who wanted my job, and is acting like it I have recently taken a management role with a new employer, and I love the work and the place I am working. I am in a director position and have learned that the assistant director, Jane, also applied for the job, but obviously was not chosen. How do I handle two things: (1) others in the office asking Jane instead of me when I should make the call (they then catch themselves), and (2) Jane trying to “agree” with what I decide or say, but in a way that suggests her agreement is needed or being solicited? I take pride in being a good manager. I know how to…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Before I Forget, by Tory Henwood Hoen. A lost 20something moves home to take care of her Alzheimer’s-stricken father and realizes that as he’s losing his memory, he’s somehow gaining the ability to predict the future. This could have been depressing except that the father is an absolute delight. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – January 10-11, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – January 9, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My interviewer mentioned my boudoir photos I went to an interview at an event planning company I have wanted to work at for a long time. The first interview was successful and I got along with the group of managers really well. They gave me an assignment to do and, after I did that, they happily invited me to return for a follow-up interview, this time with only one of the managers. We got along so well, and I was told I did very well on the assignment. Near the end of the interview, the manager told me to wait a minute and she left and then came back and offered me the job. I was super ecstatic, and we started chatti…

A reader writes: I need to partner with a team whose manager rejected me for a job, and I’m struggling to have a positive attitude. A year ago, I applied to an internal role for which I met 90% of the criteria on the nose. It was a team doing the same work as I did but in another part of the company, and the gap in qualifications was akin to having experience grooming llamas but not alpacas – it’s highly transferrable. I have great performance reviews, scoring the elusive 5/5, and I had completed an internal leadership program that is supposed to highlight me as a candidate for internal roles. I didn’t expect to be handed the role but I did think I was a strong internal…

Remember the letter-writer who was struggling to get their email inbox under control? Here’s the update. I was the person who was overwhelmed by my inbox and was looking for help to manage high volume comms. Overall, the chaos of busy season was definitely easier to manage this year, even though the volume of email did increase up to around 300+ a day in the peak season, likely because I have been in my role longer so more people know me and like to ask me stuff. I really appreciated the commentariat suggestions and would love anyone to add any more systems and hacks – and to those who manage 1000+ emails a day, I take my hat off to you! What worked: * Having set times…

Inspired by yesterday’s letter about someone who vastly overshared personal mental health details with clients, let’s talk about oversharing at work! Over the years we’ve heard about oversharing in the forms of a colleague who showed an explicit slideshow of her baby’s birth, a boss who kept sharing drama between his current wife and his ex-wife, a coworker who felt the need to share that her husband didn’t like her Brazilian bikini wax, a brand new hire who kept asking everyone whether he should cheat on his wife, and much more. Let’s discuss workplace oversharing in the comment section. The post let’s discuss TMI: when coworkers overshare at work appeared first on As…