Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just read your post about an intern refusing assignments due to political beliefs. I am finding myself in the same position but with multiple direct reports who have been part of my team for years. We share enough with each other personally to know we are on the same side politically. However, a large chunk of our work is for those on the opposite side, and what these clients are sharing on social media (through the official organization’s pages) is pretty horrifying. My direct reports are so upset that they don’t want to be associated with this client, but unfortunately it’s part o…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Let’s talk about malicious compliance — times when someone purposely exposed the absurdity of a rule by doing exactly what they were told to do. For example: “I had a boss who needed to know via email every. single. time. we stepped away from our computers (we were all fully remote). So I decided to comply 100% with her request. I told her when I’m using the restroom, that I had to put cream in my coffee, that I’m going to put on a sweater because I’m cold, I’m about to open my living room blinds, you get the point. Others did that too and after like two weeks, she said we no longer have to notify her…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in a government agency that’s very analogous to a private sector industry (think trade vs. banking or procurement vs. real estate) and many of my colleagues have either joined us after having made plenty of money on the private side or are otherwise independently wealthy. Our senior leadership are politically appointed multimillionaires. I enjoy my work, but I seem to be one of the few who works here because I actually need the money. I have no complaints about my salary; we all make the same. However, I’m paying back student loans that won’t budge and I also have the only sing…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader recently sent me a cover letter that I want to share as a great example of explaining why you’re applying for a job in a different field and how your skills will carry over. First, though, the caveats I’ve learned to give when sharing these: The writer has allowed me to share this as a favor to me and to readers. Please remember she’s a real person when you’re commenting. This writer’s voice is her voice. It will not be your voice, and that’s part of the point. There is no single cover letter in the world that all hiring managers will love or that would be the right fit for every employer a…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I accidentally peed on a fabric chair at work I’m close to tears writing this. I was drinking some water at my desk and some of it went down the wrong tube, which led to a coughing fit. I coughed so hard that I peed. This is the first time this has ever happened and I’m mortified. Worse still, it happed on a specially ordered orthopedic chair with a cloth seat. And yes, the urine soak through. What do I do?!? I’m afraid if I tell my manger they’ll be horrified and wonder how I could possibly be incontinent. I don’t want to be the coworker who peed o…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: In 2020, due to the pandemic, my entire company started to work from home. I enjoyed a much better work-life balance and know many others did too, especially because so many people moved further away for more space. Sadly, we’ve been asked to come back into the office. At first it was a loose mandate, so people did it sparsely. I co-lead our department of 13 people with my boss, and at first we were pretty chill about it. Then the CEO started wanting people in three days a week, minimum. This caused backlash among the departments. We decided to try two days to try to be in the middle…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My new boss coughs all over me I’ve just begun a new position and as a result, have been working closely with my new boss as she trains me. Things are mostly going well — except she is constantly coughing on me! Directly on me! As in, I feel her breath on my bare arm as she coughs into my skin while leaning over me to see my computer screen. When she does bother to cover her mouth, she coughs into her hand … which she then promptly uses to grab my mouse. She also left a used(!) tissue on my desk. I’m coming down with a cold and it’s not hard to put…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I manage a small independent business. We recently brought on a young new hire, “Jim.” There are usually only three of us working. Jim’s girlfriend works from home and has been coming in every day to bring him lunch. At first it was fine, but they started to be very affectionate towards one another — for example, kissing multiple times, which is extremely audible. One morning they got into a fight, and when she brought him his lunch they decided to hash their fight out in our office. They never do this in front of clients, but I finally put my foot down and asked him to not bring per…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. CEO shared family trip photos after announcing budget cuts We just had a company-wide town hall, and the CEO — whom I’ve always known to be even-tempered and generally reasonable — kicked things off by sharing a recap and photos of his recent Disney World trip with 20 family members. This comes shortly after we were told about budget cuts, no bonuses, and rising health insurance costs that are eating into our modest merit increases. Needless to say, vacations aren’t exactly top of mind for most of us right now. Was this tone-deaf? Or am I overreacti…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in a government agency that’s very analogous to a private sector industry (think trade vs. banking or procurement vs. real estate) and many of my colleagues have either joined us after having made plenty of money on the private side or are otherwise independently wealthy. Our senior leadership are politically appointed multimillionaires. I enjoy my work, but I seem to be one of the few who works here because I actually need the money. I have no complaints about my salary; we all make the same. However, I’m paying back student loans that won’t budge and I also have the only sing…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: A few years ago, I got a promotion in a different country. The organization I had previously worked at went through a re-structure and my position was eliminated. My good friend Suzie was promoted into a position that was very similar to my former position, but higher on the org chart and with more responsibility. We stayed in touch, mostly as friends, but with cheerleading and mentoring from the sidelines too. This role was a big jump in responsibility for Suzie; she essentially leapfrogged quite a few positions. Complicating matters is the fact that the organization is an incredibl…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Earlier this month, we heard from someone whose CEO shared photos of his recent family vacation at a town hall after announcing budget cuts, no bonuses, and increased health insurance costs. And we’ve heard about plenty of other out-of-touch executives before — like the company that quizzed employees on the new boss’s horses, family, and vineyard (yes, really), or the manager who wanted everyone to share their best and worst moments of the pandemic, or the CEO who joined a meeting about layoffs remotely from a golf course. Please share your own stories of out-of-touch leadership in the comment section…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Earlier this month, we heard from someone whose CEO shared photos of his recent family vacation at a town hall after announcing budget cuts, no bonuses, and increased health insurance costs. And we’ve heard about plenty of other out-of-touch executives before — like the company that quizzed employees on the new boss’s horses, family, and vineyard (yes, really), or the manager who wanted everyone to share their best and worst moments of the pandemic, or the CEO who joined a meeting about layoffs remotely from a golf course. Please share your own stories of out-of-touch leadership in the comment section…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just received an email from my company’s corporate marketing team inviting me to speak on an internal diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) panel about my experiences being a woman in a male-dominated industry during the national Women in (Industry) week this spring. I know exactly why they asked me – I am the only woman in my company in my position! Let’s say I work in the auto industry (not what I actually do, but my industry is just as male-dominated). My company has a lot of women in sales, accounts, management, etc. but I am the only female mechanic out of probably 300 mechani…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. CEO is making two finalist candidates have dinner with him at the same time Wondering if you can tell me if this situation is as crazy as I think it is. My company is hiring for an executive level role for an office we are standing up in a new state. This role will report to our CEO and it’s important we get the right person in place. We’ve narrowed it down to two final candidates, they have interviewed with other C-suite employees, and the feedback is similar on both candidates (both would likely be great in the role). Our CEO wants to take them bo…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Rental House, by Weike Wang. After the daughter of Chinese immigrants and the son of a white, working class family marry, they grapple with their relationship with each other and both sets of parents over the course of a summer vacation. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2018. A reader writes: I have a problem with a coworker and have been hesitant to send this to you as it seems petty but it has been bugging me for awhile. It started as a pet peeve but has moved into something bigger the more she does it. This coworker, I’ll call her Eleanor, demands you say “please” whenever someone asks her to do anything work related. Some examples would be as follows: “Eleanor, can you email me those forecasts for next quarter so I can get this project to our boss?” “Only if yo…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employees can’t move on after I yelled at them I do not deny I have yelled at some of my employees out of frustration. I am in my 60’s and had several strokes and my demeanor is short. I have apologized, but the group of employees cannot get past the fact that I yelled and are now holding it against me. I know that I am out of touch with the younger generation, having grown up in the late 60’s and early 70’s and in a military household I would like to say, “Knock it off and get over it,” but I know that would make things worse. As an engineer, I …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This letter has a lot of personal issues attached to it, but I swear this is job-related. My mother is trying to strong-arm me into letting my 13-year-old brother stay in my office with me after school since his school is close to where I work. I’ve had an exhausting feud with my mother because of her passive parenting of my brother. She simultaneously thinks I don’t do enough to control him, while any actual consequences I give him always get me a “why did you have to be so meeeeeean to him?” (My father passed away a few years ago, unfortunately.) Predictably, this has led to my b…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My partner is angry about how I handled harassment at work Content warning for domestic violence. I’m a woman in finance. Six months ago, I was put into a team with an older male colleague who from day one decided to call me “Legs.” When someone challenged him, he said, “Well, look, she’s got legs up to here!” He gets too close, stares at my boobs, and one time walked past me while I was at my desk and, rather than squeezing my shoulder in passing, he put his hand effectively on the side of my boob and as he walked off his hand brushed off me. Word…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. What to do about a terrible workplace when you can’t leave I know it’s often the case that the best thing to do in a terrible work setting is to start looking for another job. I’m wondering if you have any advice for circumstances where you really can’t do that, or at least aren’t willing to accept the consequences of doing so. I’m a PhD student in a psychology program. As part of the program we have to spend a certain amount of time providing services through our departmental clinic. This is non-optional for the program, so the only way around this…