Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This letter involves a very sensitive topic and some backstory, so bear with me. Would you consider it weird if a coworker brought along an unrelated college-aged girl to a work party where you could invite family? I ask because I was​ that college girl. When I was 19, I was a sexually frustrated lesbian with then-undiagnosed autism. Despite being at an LGBT-friendly university, I had no sex life and didn’t know how to approach women without coming across as some sort of creep. Every LGBT-related extracurricular I was in was centered on networking, political activism, or community, …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should you get fired for (even really bad) behavior at a football game? I’m a big football fan and a feminist and civil liberties advocate. So I am really struggling with the question of a fan at the Eagles-Green Bay Wild Card game. He is on someone’s cell phone video (which of course was posted on social media) yelling misogynistic insults at a woman from the opposing fan base. The team banned him from coming to future games, a sanction I support (this was beyond the usual jawboning at high-stakes games). But people online also tracked down where …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Perfume and Pain, by Anna Dorn. A cancelled writer searches for inspiration and develops a surprising relationship with her new neighbor. Funny and smart. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I’m supposed to live with my boss and her husband for months I have been working at my company for two years, and I get along well with my boss, who is a woman in her early thirties. Her husband also works for the same startup and we are all on a work trip together for a few months in a foreign country. The company is providing community housing (with private beds and bathrooms) for commuting workers that holds about 10 people, and a few two-bedroom condos. Before we arrived, my boss, her husband, my coworker, and I were under the impression that w…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I was working on writing up a job ad today for temporary research assistants for a field biology project, and noticed trends in my ads and in others’. It’s common for early career employees applying to assistant or technician jobs to think that they want to do fieldwork and then quit in the middle of the season because it wasn’t what they expected. There are really fun parts like getting to travel to cool places, camp or backpack, work directly with plants and animals, and meet new people. However, employees are often underpaid (especially at the technician level), work long hours, an…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose coworker screamed at them and HR hadn’t done anything? Here’s the update. I wrote to you back in 2020 about an incident from 2019 where a coworker had a screaming tantrum. I very much appreciated your input, and that of your commentariat. Nothing much happened regarding HR and my yelling coworker, Dolores. I’ve taken your advice to heart, that almost all workplace issues are caused by bad management. This was seemingly a situation with a bad coworker, but the problem was exacerbated by the deep incompetence of my boss, Cornelius. He had no idea how to shut Dolores dow…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. With more people working more days in their offices, let’s talk about carpooling for work. Did you have to share a multi-hour car ride with a coworker who insisted on listening to a bad recording of his own choir practice? Get stuck carpooling with a disgusting nose picker? Fall in love with your carpool partner after he accidentally got fired by pretending to be bad at his job so he could sit with you all the time? Let’s discuss work carpool stories in the comment section. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I use a wedding photo — with a veil — as my work avatar? My company is fully remote, so they really encourage us to upload a headshot to our company chat service so people can put a face to the name. Would it look out of touch or immature to use a photo from my wedding? It’s probably the best I’ll ever look in any photo because of the professional hair and makeup and because it was taken by a professional photographer. But because of the veil, it’s very obviously a wedding photo. (I’d choose a shot without my husband in it.) I think some of my…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Just sharing this tweet from Washington Post reporter Jeff Stein for federal government workers about Elon Musk’s “deferred resignation” offer. (Don’t take it! It’s still a trap.) Also, if you remember the letter-writer who worked at Twitter when Elon Musk took over, that same person has sent in this note: I just wanted to thank you for posting about what federal workers who are currently under attack can do. The former Twitter employees I know have all spent the past couple of weeks reliving the Twitter takeover from 2 years ago but on a much more widespread and terrible scale. I want to say this i…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about out-of-touch executives. Here are 12 of the most outrageous stories you shared. (Also, if you’ve never wanted to eat the rich before, warning that you might after reading these stories.) 1. The renovation The head of the org I work for has been complaining about his home renovations for months. I get it, he had to move out of his house and … (checks notes) into the *other* property he owns. This has been happening while several employees are dealing with being illegally ousted from their rentals due to landlords not legally following the lead abatement process. But yes, you…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader asks: I work for a small company of 25 employees. We still call ourselves a start-up (with all of the cultural elements that brings), but we’ve been around almost 10 years now. The founder believes “titles don’t matter” and it’s more important to focus on the responsibilities each person has. So most people have their official title as basically the department they work for (business development, software engineering, etc), although the management team does have official titles. Do job titles matter? Am I wrong to feel that I want my growth recognized through a new title? I answer this que…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work for a small-ish (100 people) British nonprofit. The work we do is similar to helping disabled people find homes and jobs, coaching them in social and life skills. We have developed a network of connections with local businesses who help us make this all happen. All good so far. I love my job, my coworkers and my boss. The work we do is valuable and I’m proud of it. We have plans for growth in our city so we can help more people. Again all good. But … the CEO recently brought in a consultant to work on the growth project. Next thing we know, that network of local connections …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should we give everyone the day after the Super Bowl off? I live in Chiefs territory and run a small business. My colleagues have requested that I close the office the day after the Super Bowl. I’m not inclined to grant this request, as our leave policies are very generous. I think everyone has plenty of time to take off if they choose. How common are Super Bowl office closures? Not very common. It’s certainly a nice thing if you want to do it, but it’s perfectly reasonable to expect people to use PTO if they want the day off. Related: is my empl…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: My husband is a blue collar worker, and he’s very experienced in his field. A little less than a year ago, he decided to switch jobs. He went from doing residential work in people’s homes to commercial work on big buildings. He had over two decades of experience doing the residential side of things, but very little commercial experience. So, in some ways it was like starting over again and having to train from the ground up. At the time, he had two competing job offers: one with a residential company that was offering a slightly lower base pay, but more potential bonuses and benefits…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’ve been applying to new jobs for about six months and finally got an offer for a job that I was genuinely excited about; it’s for a position that would be a step up in both title and responsibility, would let me work on interesting projects, and even would let me use a skill I went to school for but haven’t really been able to use professionally up until now. When they sent me the formal job offer, the salary was a bit more than I’m making now, but I’ve always heard that it’s smart to try to negotiate for more money because this is the easiest time to get it (versus after you’re al…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I (a woman in my early 30s) work in a traditionally male environment, although there are a decent amount of women working there too. Recently my work has started focusing more on menopause support/awareness — there’s a menopause support group, “recognizing signs and symptoms” posters in the women’s toilets, etc. I think that’s great. My manager has been making comments about menopause that really, really bother me. Things like, “Well, I better write that down because as a woman of a certain age, if I don’t I’ll forget it” or “I must have forgotten to do that — it comes with the menop…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My company’s head of DEI outed me to 800 people I’m a nonbinary trans person working in sales for a multinational company. I’m out-ish at work. I’ve told my direct team I’m nonbinary, I have they/them pronouns in my email signature, and I wear a mixed wardrobe. I’ve not told anyone I’m trans directly, but I wouldn’t deny it if it came up. That said, the industry is conservative. Most colleagues assume I’m a man regardless of what I wear and everyone still get my pronouns wrong, even those who’ve asked. I mention this to say that I’m open but cautiou…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose mother was pressuring her to babysit their brother in their office after school? Here’s the update — and some more advice from me. Thank you for answering my letter! It was too late to reply to the comments after work, but I’ll address some of them here: For those asking if I still live with my mother: I moved out when I was 18 and live in my own apartment with roommates. My brother was born when I was 10 years old, so that’s where the age gap comes from. For those asking why my brother can’t just stay at home like most teens: He usually does, but given my brother’s …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: One of my employees, “Pam,” has been having pains that I won’t specify for the sake of anonymity. Her condition is degenerative but can be managed quite successfully through physical therapy and occasional steroid injections. I happily made several doctor-recommended accommodations and alterations to Pam’s workspace, at the expense of the company, to make the eight hours a day she spends here more manageable. Pam went to several weeks of physical therapy sessions, but then stopped going because it turns out physical therapy “isn’t really enjoyable for me” (is it for anyone?). She als…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I started a job eight months ago that I was very excited about. I was looking to get out of a highly stressful position and got this offer (same pay, somewhat worse benefits but growth potential) and what I thought would be a solid work-life balance. The first day, my boss mentioned how we typically end at 4:30. I’m used to working long hours so I was excited, thinking I’d have more time with my two small kids and husband. I was very wrong. The first couple months were good and then “efficiency” became a big part of conversation. I was asked why reviewing a report would take me 15 mi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I accidentally peed on a fabric chair at work I’m close to tears writing this. I was drinking some water at my desk and some of it went down the wrong tube, which led to a coughing fit. I coughed so hard that I peed. This is the first time this has ever happened and I’m mortified. Worse still, it happed on a specially ordered orthopedic chair with a cloth seat. And yes, the urine soak through. What do I do?!? I’m afraid if I tell my manger they’ll be horrified and wonder how I could possibly be incontinent. I don’t want to be the coworker who peed o…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Case Histories, by Kate Atkinson. After loving Liz Moore’s Long Bright River, I wanted more literary fiction mysteries where the character development gets as much attention as the plot. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article