Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: The letter you posted from the volunteer who didn’t disclose something to a student’s teacher and parents reminded me about something that happened to me a while ago with an outside mentor for an after-school program, especially since I was a lot like Marvin in that letter (without the expensive romantic overtures). I was the only girl in a STEM club at my high school, and the mentor was, let’s say, a teapot designer who also trained teapot drivers. Bob wasn’t actually a teacher at my school. He was a volunteer who worked at a well-known organization that the club was associated with…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This is a community organizing issue, but it is ultimately about working closely with someone where there’s conflict, and one where I think a professional approach might be most useful. I (they/them) am a leader in a social justice-oriented community organization along with someone I’ll call Paul (he/they). We have the same type of leadership position, and we’re both quite active so we communicate daily and are in meetings at least once a week. We’ve been in conflict for four months, since I told Paul that the way Paul interrupts, criticizes, corrects, scolds, and dismisses me and ot…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: What are your thoughts and the etiquette around getting drinks with coworkers when you’re in leadership position? I’m a female, on a younger side, in a leadership role at a small-to-medium size organization. We recently had a company event, after which 5–10 people went out for drinks and stayed for a couple of hours. It was just great to see some colleagues that are often in different locations, and most of them do not report to me. A while later, an exec mentioned that he thought it was inappropriate to go out drinking with subordinates. I understand that colleagues may not always …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m the head of HR for my small(ish) international company. I’m a mixed-race woman and a mom. We have a variety of private Slack channels, including channels for parents, women, people of color, etc. Our people of color channel is a relatively new addition started by an employee who wanted a safe space for folks who identify as non-white. I was explicitly excluded from the channel because I am HR and the people in that channel wanted it to be a safe space to talk about the issues they face. As a mixed-race person, I felt the sting of exclusion, but as a person in leadership totally u…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Should people be fired for big, public mistakes? I’m curious about your thoughts on Major League Baseball’s recent blunder. They released a new series of hats that have the logo imposed on top of the team location. For the Texas Rangers, they did not think through the word they would create. Tetas is a slang word for breasts in Spanish. If you were managing a team that let this slip through, how would you handle it? Would people be fired for something like this? I’m not a fan of firing people for single mistakes in their work (conduct is in a diff…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should we give everyone the day after the Super Bowl off? I live in Chiefs territory and run a small business. My colleagues have requested that I close the office the day after the Super Bowl. I’m not inclined to grant this request, as our leave policies are very generous. I think everyone has plenty of time to take off if they choose. How common are Super Bowl office closures? Not very common. It’s certainly a nice thing if you want to do it, but it’s perfectly reasonable to expect people to use PTO if they want the day off. Related: is my empl…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I recently had to fire a manager for a belligerent, profanity-laden outburst during a board meeting. He has not been doing his job and has been suspected to be drinking or have been drunk while working (although no proof). To further complicate things, his manager has not done his job by documenting the problems and is now pushing me to provide some sort of severance for good will. However, I feel we have a termination with cause for insubordination. What is your suggestion on whether we need to pay severance in this instance? He is talking to a lawyer regarding a possible hostile wor…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should you get fired for (even really bad) behavior at a football game? I’m a big football fan and a feminist and civil liberties advocate. So I am really struggling with the question of a fan at the Eagles-Green Bay Wild Card game. He is on someone’s cell phone video (which of course was posted on social media) yelling misogynistic insults at a woman from the opposing fan base. The team banned him from coming to future games, a sanction I support (this was beyond the usual jawboning at high-stakes games). But people online also tracked down where …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just saw the below post on LinkedIn, and I thought I’d send it along and get your thoughts on this strategy. After years of reading your blog, it makes me cringe so much. (Why would you write someone a reference if you weren’t their manager? Why would you pester every person at every interview stage with this letter? What if it’s not helpful information for them? Etc.) But everyone in the comments was praising this, saying how it’s so actionable and helpful and “gold,” which I found perplexing. Curious to hear your take on these kinds of strategies, especially as these sort of “advi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: As resume advice continues to evolve with the times (e.g., not including your street address on your resume), I’m wondering how important the location of each job is. Do employers really care if I worked in San Francisco, California, or in Dayton, Ohio? Would it be better to include in-person, hybrid, or remote? Yes, you should still list the city and state of each employer. Including the employer’s location helps verify that those companies actually exist. That doesn’t matter so much when the company is nationally known or when all your employers are local to the area you’re applyi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How do I balance work and socializing at hybrid team meetings? I (a young-looking woman) lead a team of about 15, composed of 3-4 smaller sub-teams that collaborate on various parts of the project. About half the team work remotely; a quarter at Site A, including my deputy and me; and a quarter at Site B. Team members range from junior to mid-career, heavy on junior. We have at least one meeting per project topic area per week for tracking progress and working through more complex issues together. I have a hard time closing down the first “social” …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How do I balance work and socializing at hybrid team meetings? I (a young-looking woman) lead a team of about 15, composed of 3-4 smaller sub-teams that collaborate on various parts of the project. About half the team work remotely; a quarter at Site A, including my deputy and me; and a quarter at Site B. Team members range from junior to mid-career, heavy on junior. We have at least one meeting per project topic area per week for tracking progress and working through more complex issues together. I have a hard time closing down the first “social” …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. First, a housekeeping note: Comments will be turned off for a while on Friday while the site moves to a new server. They’ll be turned back on once it’s complete. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Supervisor is flirting with my wife I am a woman, 41 years old, who has been married to my wife for a year. We work together in different departments. She had a thing with one of her male supervisors before me, and he has become an issue. I’ve seen things that have made me question their relationship. In the beginning, when he found out about her and me, he began being nasty with me at wor…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My very supportive boss is leaving, and I blame his partner I currently have an incredibly supportive boss but he plans to leave his role soon because his long-term partner lives in a different region of the country and refuses to move nearer to where he lives even though they work remotely. I’m legally disabled and worried that whoever takes over once he lives will be far less accommodating in regards to my disability, especially considering that I’ve had to pivot to a lower caliber field after a devastating job loss that I’ve still not gotten ove…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is swiping on a coworker on a dating app grounds for an HR meeting? Asking for a friend: They absent-mindedly swiped on a coworker in a dating app (whom they asked out once two years earlier). Said coworker was uncomfortable with that and went to HR, and they all had a sit-down about leaving said coworker alone. I am all for not harassing people you work with romantically, but I am also conflicted — is swiping right on a coworker on Bumble or Tinder grounds for an HR intervention? They are both on a dating app, after all — a place where you are op…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Talking to an employee about body odor I manage a large department with several sub-departments. I have been working myself up to addressing an issue for quite some time, because it is a sensitive issue that I don’t know how to handle without fallout: personal hygiene. One of the staff members who has been with me for several years has been showing up to work for the past year with an odor that is less than pleasant. This was not an issue previously, and I attribute it to becoming more comfortable in the environment and slipping into a pattern of l…

A reader writes: I am a senior manager on a team that does a back office function (think HR, finance, marketing). A seasoned manager, Rachael, reports to me and has a handful of staff members reporting to her. Our team is hybrid, requiring two in-office days, although we grant flexibility for temporary medical/childcare/life issues that come up. The operations we support are all in-office. Rachael recently told us that she is trying to move out of state and asked to work fully remote. She was candid about this potential move when she was hired several years ago and in subsequent conversations. Rachael is very experienced and previously held my position earlier in her ca…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about malicious compliance — times when someone purposely exposed the absurdity of a rule by doing exactly what they were told to do. Here are 14 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The requisitions I worked for a fairly large, regional bank that covered about three states with nearly 9,000 employees. The CFO decided that everyone was wasting money on frivolous things like office supplies. He mandated that ALL requisitions for any supplies must come through him. ALL OF THEM. This of course held up the process so even getting a needed pen could take over a month. Some of the mana…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about jerks getting their comeuppance, and here are eight of the most satisfying stories you shared. 1. The thief At an old job, I was continually denied raises by the bully finance director (who somehow was always able to find money for his own raises.) He oversaw all purchases for the business’s renovation, which included lots of furniture, TVs, tech stuff, etc. All expensive stuff. He was one of many jerks and I eventually moved on, but I heard from a coworker a couple years later that he was fired one day when an expensive TV that went missing from storage was suddenly discove…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about jerks getting their comeuppance, and here are eight of the most satisfying stories you shared. 1. The thief At an old job, I was continually denied raises by the bully finance director (who somehow was always able to find money for his own raises.) He oversaw all purchases for the business’s renovation, which included lots of furniture, TVs, tech stuff, etc. All expensive stuff. He was one of many jerks and I eventually moved on, but I heard from a coworker a couple years later that he was fired one day when an expensive TV that went missing from storage was suddenly discove…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Offering a job to multiple people and giving it to the first one who accepts Decades ago, in the early 2000s, my friend was offered an assistant professor position at a university. She was told that the same job was being offered to several other candidates too, and that only the first person to accept the offer would be hired. Presumably as soon as one person accepted, the other offers would be withdrawn. I have never seen this practice anywhere else. This makes me curious: is this legal? (We are in the U.S.) What do you think of employers doing t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Offering a job to multiple people and giving it to the first one who accepts Decades ago, in the early 2000s, my friend was offered an assistant professor position at a university. She was told that the same job was being offered to several other candidates too, and that only the first person to accept the offer would be hired. Presumably as soon as one person accepted, the other offers would be withdrawn. I have never seen this practice anywhere else. This makes me curious: is this legal? (We are in the U.S.) What do you think of employers doing t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’ve been doing some remote volunteer grant writing as part of a long-term plan to break out of my current job family (also nonprofit-centric). The nonprofit I’m currently working with is only a few years old, in another state, and very small, with no paid staff. My main contact is the executive director, Helena. The deadline for the biggest grant of the year is tonight. I’ve finished the actual writing and have all the required documents, except the FY25 budget. We can’t submit if any fields are empty. I’ve requested the budget a few times; each time, Helena has responded with FY24’…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about out-of-touch executives. Here are 12 of the most outrageous stories you shared. (Also, if you’ve never wanted to eat the rich before, warning that you might after reading these stories.) 1. The renovation The head of the org I work for has been complaining about his home renovations for months. I get it, he had to move out of his house and … (checks notes) into the *other* property he owns. This has been happening while several employees are dealing with being illegally ousted from their rentals due to landlords not legally following the lead abatement process. But yes, you…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about weird hills to die on — people who became so strongly committed to a minor fight that they lost all sight of logic and decorum — and here are 10 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The newsletter Our Fortune 500 company hosted a weekend company-wide softball tourney, which was won by a team led by a guy known around the office as Hothead. Monday morning arrives and the company-wide daily email goes out with important company announcements. One of the items included was the results of the previous weekend’s softball tourney. Hothead was livid about the fact that it include…