Performance Tracking and Feedback

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. We fostered and then quickly adopted Laurie in 2020, during the first week of the pandemic. He hid behind some books on a bookcase for three days, but he relaxed once he discovered there were other cats in the house. It turned out he loved other cats. We had named him after the neighbor boy from Little Women before realizing that, just like his namesake, he yearned to be part of a big family. Fortunately, he was! He was an aggressive cuddler; he loved being in my lap, but his favorite thing in the world wa…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 20, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss did a racist impression of a coworker I’m on a small, mostly autonomous support team in a medium-sized company. We had company-wide training yesterday. My coworker Amy couldn’t attend in person because of a winter storm/flight situation. Amy is black, and the other three of us are white. My team, and many others, went to a hotel bar after the training. After several beers, my boss Fergus quoted Amy — in poor English, with a thick, fake African (think: Nigerian) accent. Amy has a bit of a (South African) accent and is self conscious about it, which Fergus knows, and has no issues with English. It went over like…

A reader writes: I’ve become very good friends both in and out of work with a small group of colleagues (four total). This question is about one of them, Samantha. Samantha has always been a bit dry and sarcastic in her sense of humor. Over the past several months, however, she has become increasingly, well, mean. Samantha is shockingly blunt in meetings, often pulls faces that show her keen displeasure, and has been condescending (in person and in emails) to support staff. While she is sometimes right in her complaints, her delivery is frankly atrocious. While everyone complains about work, she seems to really hate it here. At the same time, though, we work in a niche…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. How common is swearing at work? (#2 at the link) I always thought that if you answered a question for me, I would engage with the commentariat and also send in an update! But when I saw the post was up, I was experiencing severe pregnancy-induced anxiety … and promptly avoided the site for around a year. Today I went and looked at the published post for the very first time. (And I felt like the responses from everyone were actually quite lovely, so I don’t know what I was an…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I live in a lovely touristy small city with a university. It’s a great place to live, with lots of services and things to do for its size. I have a job in my field which I still enjoy in some ways, but I’ve been in it for 10 years and am terribly bored. I’ve really pushed the boundaries of my position and am feeling so stuck. I’ve been actively applying in town for three years. It’s rare that positions come up, and when they do, they are inundated with candidates. Our city is known for having a “scenery tax” and having wildly educated baristas. So in the past year, I’ve started applying to positions in diffe…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I tell people at the company we just acquired what they’re in for? A few years ago, I started at a small company which within a year of me joining was acquired by a massive international company based on the opposite coast. At the time, my boss and the now (forcibly) retired owner were told that we would still be able to be largely independent, with more support for the work we do currently. It wasn’t until all the paperwork was signed, sealed, and delivered that everyone realized this couldn’t be further from the truth. Staff and offices we were promised wouldn’t be touched have been gutted. Our workload has a…

Last week, we talked about workplace romance gone either wrong or right, and here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The emergency deployments The company I worked for occasionally had to respond to statewide emergencies (think every two years). When these happened, you had to go work in a different location and fill roles for the emergency. So a team lead on emergency could just be a support staffer at their day job or a middle line manager could become the states liaison with the feds. Somehow this change in location and status made people lose their minds. The sudden power made the person “sexy”: coworkers (often married) would begin affairs with this perso…

A reader writes: Earlier this year, an employee of mine suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. He was excellent at his job and extremely well-liked by the rest of our department. His partner also works here. We are currently interviewing for someone to fill the now-empty role. At what point (if ever) is it appropriate to relay any of this to the candidates? So far, no one has asked why the job is open. While folks in the department are wonderful people, I have no idea whether any leftover resentment, awkwardness, or other weirdness may happen when our new person starts their job. There is some interaction between this position and the partner’s position, so I’d like to …

A reader writes: I used my company credit card for personal expenses over a long period (so, definitely not accidental purchases). I assumed it was somewhat frowned upon, but thought it was fine as long as I paid it off on time on my own dime. The balance amount over the months has ranged from $1,000 – $4,000. I did not realize it was a violation of agreements until I neglected to pay the balance for one month. (Before that, I had been paying off the full balance every month.) I did end up satisfying the balance, but obviously that invited scrutiny into how I have been using the card and they went back and looked at the history of transactions. HR set up a call with me…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I speak up about a management failure as I’m leaving? I’m a former teacher who resigned to take on a couple of lower key and much less stressful jobs. One of them is as an assistant at an after-school science club for pre-teens run by a nonprofit. It appealed because I could bring my skills and interact with kids (which I miss) but I had little responsibility or admin hassle. I am supposed to rock up and find everything planned and resourced. I’m a “pair of hands” for the session (and am paid accordingly!). But the course leader, Meg, is in her first job out of college and not equipped to do the job, so I have …

A reader writes: For many years, my boss has given flowers to all his assistants for Valentine’s Day. But he has the same two assistants for several years. Both are retired professionals who decided to go back to work, and both originally were married. Now one of them is a widow and he was told by other members of the management team that he couldn’t give her flowers because she was single, but it was okay if he still sent the other assistant flowers. This seems out of place and it made the widowed assistant feel awful. Is this okay? No, it is not okay in any way. Your boss is being a bit of ass, but the people who gave him this guidance are the bigger problem. First…

A reader writes: I’m looking for advice on how to pursue a new job discreetly, particularly when the interview process requires multiple rounds and my current workplace has very little flexibility. I’ve been with my current employer for 10 years. I started here before I even graduated from college, and I’ve grown tremendously. It’s a well-regarded organization with a prestigious name, and I genuinely believe they care about their people. That said, it’s time for me to leave. I’m no longer challenged, the work doesn’t excite me, and at my site things are fairly old school: no work from home, less vacation than many other employers, no flex hours, and we pay for our own …

A reader writes: For nearly five months now, I have been trying to get in touch with a contact at a partner organization about some grant money they’ve promised us, by contract. Phone calls, emails — nothing. It’s getting completely absurd. I’ve repeatedly inquired as to if there’s something we need to do to hurry this along — no reply. (But he does return contacts from other organizations so I know he is alive and at work.) This staff member is the primary liaison between his organization and ours, so we want to keep it civil. I’ve been advised to go over his head, to his boss … but she’s the executive director of his organization, and I’m very aware this could get thi…

In the comment section on a recent letter from someone whose coworkers were upset about her work anniversary gift, there was a lot of discussion about corporate gift programs. I heard from a reader who works for one of the larger companies that organizes these programs, and they generously offered to answer questions about it. Here’s our interview. To start, what are these programs all about, and how do rewards and recognition companies like yours fit in? Rewards and recognition falls under the bigger HR tech umbrella. Other things under the umbrella include incentives, promotional items, wellness programs, payroll, benefits, and HRIS that does pretty much everything. S…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. We have to demote a really dedicated manager I’m involved in a small, local nonprofit animal shelter. I started as a volunteer and am now an officer of the board. Two years ago, our very competent office manager quit. After two crash-and-burn failed hires, one of our part-time kennel help wanted to try to step up into the position. On a trial basis. Over a year ago. And while she was never officially given the job, things just … limped along. Kasie is awesome in many ways, great with people and incredible with the animals. But she lacks the initiative and judgement to successfully fill this role. I will add she is open…

A reader writes: I work for a large, quickly growing international business headquartered in the United States. I’m in HR and often collaborate with finance. My work is challenging, exciting, and I feel valued as an employee. But that’s actually part of the problem. Not to accidentally quote Liam Neeson, but I have a particular set of skills that makes me very difficult to replace. I have strong job security, I’m paid well enough to support my family, I have decent benefits, and I love my coworkers. But I have also been burnt out for over a year. Being neurodivergent and learning how autistic burnout differs from standard burnout has been a wild ride. My managers (yes,…

A reader writes: I’m managing a difficult employee, “Felix.” Felix has been at my company for five years now. He also happens to be the CEO’s nephew. His performance was never good, but it’s gotten steadily worse. His work frequently has mistakes, he is unreachable for large stretches of the day, and he pushes back on any feedback I give him. At one point, he yelled in my face when I pointed out a repeated problem with his work, saying that he “didn’t respect” my feedback. I’ve documented these issues extensively. I’ve talked to HR repeatedly about putting him on a PIP or even terminating him outright. They say that Felix is unhappy and actively job-searching and that …

A reader writes: I manage a team of 8-12 people at any one time in an entry-level role. Every year, we have a Christmas party at a local hotel and bar. It’s always an open bar — recipe for disaster, but the staff love it. This year, a member of my team who has a long-term partner, who she talks about regularly, spent the evening kissing a member of another team, out in the open. They were then seen going up to this person’s hotel room at the end of the night, and did not try to hide this. As her manager, I know my responsibilities and am not letting this impact the way I treat this staff member on a day-to-day basis. I have recent experience of being cheated on myself,…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is stubble unprofessional? Is having a few days of facial stubble unprofessional? What about showering every other day? How do I know when I’m well-enough groomed? I’m a cis man who is reasonably adept at social interactions generally but struggles to pick up on unwritten norms/rules (like how often to shave). I got rid of a goatee in college and have generally shaved all my facial hair for every in-person workday since then. I also currently shower every day I go into the office, though I sometimes skip it for WFH days. I’m considering a change for three reasons: (1) I was reminded of how much of a literally bloody …

A reader writes: I’m a woman working in a male-dominated profession. I do most of the planning and organizing for company events—not by choice or job description, but because I’m told I’m such a good planner. While I’m planning something, I’m rarely offered help. However, right before the event, I’m often asked by male coworkers if they can do anything or if I need anything. “Are we all good for Thursday? Can I do anything?” Of course, it’s way too late for them to do anything, and they know that. Is this weaponized incompetence? Or what is it? Whatever it is, it’s incredibly annoying, and I’d love to come up with a comeback that shows I’m onto them. You’re focusing o…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker comes to work high I work in an animal care setting and overheard a coworker casually mention that they had taken an edible about an hour before the end of their shift. They said it didn’t fully hit them until the last few minutes of work, but during that time they were asked to help restrain a patient. They weren’t administering medication in this instance, but they were still performing tasks while impaired. They also mentioned that there have been a few times when they’ve come to work slightly under the influence. I know some coworkers use substances on their own time, and our workplace doesn’t test or …

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 6, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Deadly Little Secrets: The Minister, His Mistress, and a Heartless Texas Murder, by Kathryn Casey. Not my usual fare, but I read a Texas Monthly article about the case and then read this in one sitting. A pastor murders his wife and nearly gets away with it — until her mom and aunts spend years pushing law enforcement to investigate him. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – February 7-8, 2026 appeared first on Ask a…

A reader writes: Do you have any guidance on asking for feedback on a job application when you weren’t selected for an interview? I’m aware that I’m unlikely to get a candid answer and perhaps some of my frustration is borne out of feeling like I’m continually applying for jobs where I meet all of the criteria, and can provide examples, but not really getting anywhere. You can try, but you’re unlikely to get substantive feedback. You’re more likely to get someone willing to give you feedback after an interview because at that point they’ve talked with you one-on-one and there’s more of a connection. Even then, a lot of managers won’t give you any truly meaningful feedba…