Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week, we talked about carpooling for work, and here are eight of my favorite stories you shared — some heartwarming, some not. 1. The kazoo music I fondly think of the coworker who, when I offered her the aux cable to play music off her device, looked hesitant and then said, “Look, I need to warn you, there’s going to be a lot more kazoo music then you’d expect.” 2. The trick I carpooled once with a coworker who lived in my neighborhood. I didn’t even realize he lived near me until he approached me one day and asked if I would like to carpool. Gas was hideously expensive, so I thought why not.…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about things that you thought were normal early in your career … but later learned were actually just weird things your old workplace did and which were not typical at all. Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The packed hotel rooms My very first internship was the most bizarre work experience I’ve ever had, but I didn’t know it then. My boss was personally wealthy, as in 1% wealthy. But she was super cheap at work. When we organized the nonprofit’s annual conference, we got X many rooms free for staff for however many attendees booked rooms. My boss told us that we …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about shared space / hot-desking horror stories and here are 10 of my favorites that you shared. 1. The torn-down sign We have a bank of shared desks which aren’t actually general-use hot desks, but hot desks specific to our team. However, as we’re often out and about supporting other colleagues or delivering training out in the field, we’re usually only in one day a week. People realized this and started using our desks as hot desks, and all our equipment gradually failed/vanished, and when we DID come in, there wouldn’t be any desks available. So we put up signs. One of the oth…

Last week we talked about memorable impressions made by new hires. Here are 20 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The celebration At my husband’s old company, a new hire took a three-hour lunch on his first day. When a coworker asked where he’d been, new hire said he’d been at the strip club with his friends celebrating his new job. He reasoned that this was fine because “it’s just syllabus week right now.” He did not last long. 2. The carving Years ago we held an orientation for some new hires in the boardroom and one of them chose to carve his name into the table-top. It was his first and last day. 3. The Keurig annexation On a new guy’s first day, he took the…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we discussed final F-you’s to jobs or bosses you hated, and here are 18 of the best stories you shared. (Caveat: appearing on this list is not an endorsement of said behavior in every case! Stories are shared primarily for entertainment value.) 1. The revenge A legal secretary at the Big Law firm I worked at knew she was going to be fired, so the day before she went into a bunch of partners emails and sent their wives evidence of infidelity, printed out confidential employee evaluations/communications about bonuses/pay and left them in everyone’s desk, and then cleaned out the swag closet (…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. One of the oddest things about interviewing people for jobs has always been how frequently candidates say they don’t have any questions when I ask what I can answer for them. This is a job they’re considering spending a large chunk of their waking hours at for the next however many years, and it’s likely to have a significant impact on their day-to-day quality of life and progression in their career. Surely there’s something they’d like to know about. At New York Magazine today, I talk about why people don’t ask questions in interviews, why that makes a bad impression, and 10 especially strong questio…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Especially early in your carer, it’s common to think that they way your workplace does things is normal — and then you move somewhere near and discover that having a goat shrine isn’t normal at all. This can also happen if you stay at one job for a long time, or if you move to a new field. We don’t always know that what we’re surrounded by isn’t normal — until something makes us realize that it’s not. Today’s “ask the readers” is a suggestion from a reader, who requests stories of “expressions, traditions, methods that you thought were universal but which you learned were actually just a weird thing y…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Am I being a grouch about this touchy-feely group activity? I work at a school. As the closing activity for today’s professional development session, Fergus (an administrator) split us into three groups, then asked two-thirds of us to stay seated with our eyes closed while the other third stood and moved around the room. Fergus read a series of prompts and invited those who were standing to “connect with” (that is, tap or pat on the shoulder) someone the prompt applied to (“connect with someone you admire,” “connect with someone whose work you’d lik…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose anti-vax employee was pressuring a coworker not to vaccinate her baby? Here’s the update. I really appreciated your advice and several of the thoughts from the commenters as well. I have weekly one-on-ones with each member of my team, so after reading your response, I used that next meeting with Cordelia as an opportunity to step in, after taking care of our usual business. I used the framing about how if the roles were reversed, if Dawn didn’t want to vaccinate and someone was pressuring her to, I would need to shut that conversation down, because Dawn deserves to b…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer wondering at what point they could report their inappropriate and inflammatory coworker? Here’s the update. I finally quit so now I can update. One of the details I was obfuscating before was that we’re both student workers in our 20s at a post-secondary institution. Unfortunately, I couldn’t apply too much of your advice because things got CRAZY basically immediately after, but I still greatly appreciated the advice and the sanity check from you and everyone who commented. My question got posted the week before U.S. election day. The first words Kevina said when she walked…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose mother was pressuring her to babysit their brother in their office after school? Here’s the update — and some more advice from me. Thank you for answering my letter! It was too late to reply to the comments after work, but I’ll address some of them here: For those asking if I still live with my mother: I moved out when I was 18 and live in my own apartment with roommates. My brother was born when I was 10 years old, so that’s where the age gap comes from. For those asking why my brother can’t just stay at home like most teens: He usually does, but given my brother’s …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer who manages a terrible slob and asked how to convince her upset coworker that it’s being handled? Here’s the update. I actually have an update to this situation right now! I appreciated so much of the advice in the comments, as well as yours. I didn’t get much into everything I had done with Sally since my question was really about Susie, but it really did sound like I was blowing off Susie without that additional context! Susie and Sally have separate offices with doors on a large campus. Most of Susie’s work happens on her computer, except for an occasional client meeting…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose boss was pressuring them to work more hours when they had just back from stress leave? Here’s the update. Good news all around, thank you for the advice — I desperately needed to hear it. It ended up working out — eventually. Brian’s outbursts, yelling, and general unreasonableness got worse after I wrote in, to the point where he would shout at me and everyone else in front of the team. I’m proud of keeping my cool in those moments, but I was in tears afterwards. It sucked. “Nobody is bigger than the project” became a sort of meme on our site, which was a funny upsid…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose boss never praised their work? Here’s the update. My undying thanks to you and all the commentariat for your compassionate take and excellent advice: I needed to get out of that job. It was advice that didn’t land well at the time, because my morale was so shot that I didn’t even see the point in job-hunting. How could I hope to get a better job when I’d clearly never gotten good at this one, which was for an organization I adored, using the skill set I was educated in? Still, where self-esteem fails, spite finds a way. Every time my boss did something that made me w…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose coworker screamed at them and HR hadn’t done anything? Here’s the update. I wrote to you back in 2020 about an incident from 2019 where a coworker had a screaming tantrum. I very much appreciated your input, and that of your commentariat. Nothing much happened regarding HR and my yelling coworker, Dolores. I’ve taken your advice to heart, that almost all workplace issues are caused by bad management. This was seemingly a situation with a bad coworker, but the problem was exacerbated by the deep incompetence of my boss, Cornelius. He had no idea how to shut Dolores dow…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose coworkers had way more money than her but constantly expected her to shell out cash for meals and gifts? Here’s the update. Thanks for posting my letter and for your advice a while back. I have a somewhat unsatisfying update. The gift-giving has slowed down considerably, presumably because the federal workplace isn’t exactly festive at the moment. However, the original issue recently showed up in a different form. Our office admin offered to put together (what I understood to be) a no-host happy hour as a send-off event for a colleague who recently got DOGE’d. (Note: …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose doctor’s office constantly left them on hold while they needed to be working? Here’s the update. I wrote in a few months ago about struggling to schedule doctor’s appointments when I worked at a busy reception desk. Thanks very much to both you and the kind commenters who offered sympathy and suggestions. It was nice to receive confirmation that there wasn’t some easy solution I was missing, and I appreciated the suggestions to use an earpiece from other people who’d done front desk work. I also saw a few suggestions that my question wasn’t really a work question, whi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose employee said they needed to give her longer breaks because she’s a smoker? Here’s the update. Update on my employee who is a smoker and requested extra break time due to her disability. First, wrong terminology on my part was used when I wrote in. The campus is non-tobacco use, not just non-smoking. Second, Deleana is an excellent worker other than her tardiness in coming back from breaks. I did ask my other employees if they would prefer one long 30-minute break or two shorter 15-minute breaks. 100% of the other employees (I didn’t ask Deleana) prefer having two b…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Does using humor risk undermining me as a manager? Thank you so much for responding to my question! In truth, I didn’t even consider the possibility that using too many self-deprecating jokes would alter my employee’s perception of me, I was mainly focused on the quantity of my jokes. After I submitted my question, I thought over my interactions with them, and came to the conclusion that I was being way too silly, that my nervousness was manifesting as non-stop joke after joke, which had a strong possibility to detract from maintaining a professiona…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My friend accused me of getting him fired, but I didn’t (#3 at the link) Thanks again for publishing my question. I was nervous about submitting it but your advice helped me realize that my fellow writer and friend knew the risks of what he was doing by going against our employer’s company policy. I also realized through the comments section that I didn’t fully explain what this policy meant! As with other media outlets, our employer publication strictly forbids us from accepting trips, dinners, or expensive gifts from businesses or individuals in e…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Retired coworker keeps coming back to gossip (#3 at the link) Unfortunately, the retired coworker is someone who will take offense at any direct request to be left alone to do work. He would go up and down the hallway talking loudly to other people about how “So-and-So told me to get lost!!!!” and cause even more of a ruckus. My supervisor is often not there to see what is happening, and was not effective in dealing with him before he retired. (Example: He told our supervisor, “I don’t attend meetings because that’s what works for me,” and she let hi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. How do I manage a “regular” job with a parallel career as a musician? I asked about career advice for musicians a long time ago, and I’ve waited a long time to have an update I felt like sending. Unfortunately, the last few years have just been really, really bad. Things started to go sideways not long after I wrote to you. The program I was in was a really bad fit for me, and I ended up dropping out long before the end of it. There were other bad things too – I won’t go into it all because it would be pretty identifiable. One major theme of the pa…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. An employee is out to get my star performer, and no one else cares (first update) I thought it could be good for the folks who were predicting catastrophe with Dave to hear what actually happened. Sometimes situations aren’t ideal but that doesn’t mean doom either. I respected Tina’s wishes and did not go to HR. Given some of the vehement responses, I did extra legwork with Maria and HR contacts at previous companies in the same industry before making my final decision. Quoting one HR professional when I asked about noting it in Dave’s record in cas…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I have warned an intern about a bad manager? I am a middle manager in a large organization and I am second-guessing how I handled a situation with an employee whom I used to supervise. From 2020 to 2021, I had the pleasure of supervising an outstanding intern, Anna. Anna was the kind of employee that any employer would be lucky to have. During her internship, Anna expressed interest in staying on with us after her graduation. It can be difficult to secure full-time permanent employment with our organization, and the hiring process is lengthy…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I read Ask a Manager every day and have a suggestion for the site. I’m always delighted when I click on a post and it turns out to have a bunch of updates — those are the most fun to read! I think readers would enjoy a category on the Topics page that’s specifically for posts with more than one update. Maybe you could call it “Sagas” or something like that? Sometimes I want a solid distraction and the multiple updates always deliver, but as far as I’m aware there’s no way to specifically pull up a list of posts that have them. Just something to think about if you ever add new categori…