Performance Tracking and Feedback

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My allergic colleague has food demands I can’t meet One of my job responsibilities is planning and ordering catering for all of my office’s meetings, trainings, gatherings, and the annual regional corporate holiday party. I’ve taken account of everyone’s dietary restrictions, and I make sure that the restaurants or catering companies always adhere to these specifications and restrictions, whether they are ethical, religious, or allergy. I send a menu out to those with restrictions and make sure that they feel they have enough to eat and are taken c…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Can I report my coworker’s drunken, racist aggression outside of work? My two coworkers and I discussed the weekend’s events and ended up reporting the incident with Fergus the very next day. My boss was horrified and immediately had him sent on a flight back to his home country that evening, and told Fergus’s manager that regardless of the outcome, he was not welcome in our country program again and he wanted another teammate assigned to our program. It turns out, Fergus h…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. I think my disastrous ex-employee is co-opting queer identity Where do I begin. I followed the advice and said nothing, generally kept my distance. Pam sowed chaos “leading” the LBGTQ+ group. She created what an ex-member described as a sexualized atmosphere, including a pinup photo of her in an event announcement. A lot of members left. A young employee, Mary, very publicly accused P…

Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared about holidays at work over the past month. 1. The succulent For several years I managed a team who were all at individual satellite offices. During my site visits over the holidays, I gave them all little gift baskets which included a small, fake succulent (most of the offices didn’t have windows). On a subsequent visit about six months later, I found out that one employee had been watering hers every day, and was proud to show me how healthy it still looked. Fortunately, she thought it was hilarious when she found out it was artificial, and it brought the whole team a lot of joy. 2. The panda onesie Our new vice preside…

A reader writes: People in my office frequently come into work very obviously sick and many times get other people sick. Most people do not have the ability to work from home with the work we do. We’ve sent a firm-wide message telling people that we prefer that sick employees stay home, as to stop the spread to the rest of the staff. Unfortunately, this didn’t make much of a difference. I understand that people want to save their paid time off for more enjoyable times, but it’s not fair to the coworkers to whom they spread their germs. (We also offer six paid sick days, separate from vacation and personal leave.) What else can we do? I answer this question over at Inc.…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering whether to write a list of rules so a colleague, Paul, would treat them decently? Here’s the update. I’ve recently taken a step that commenters had advised — leaving the group. Getting Paul to leave (your excellent advice) wasn’t an option, though perhaps me leaving will push things in that direction. I alerted five people to why I was leaving, and a number of them seem to be realizing that the grou…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Employee missed work because of birthday drinking An employee I manage called out today due to being hospitalized over the weekend for alcohol poisoning. The employee went out to celebrate their birthday over the weekend and overdid it on the partying. I realize this is out of work conduct; however, it is affecting the employee’s job because they called in to work. Do I have a leg to stand on if I have a serious conversation with the employee about their judgment and how this type of behavior could negatively effect their employment with our compan…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My boss sent me a bereavement gift, then demanded to know how I felt when I received it Your advice and everyone’s comments really helped me get some perspective on the issue. I took your advice and sent a brief thank-you to the boss for the bereavement gift, saying I hoped my colleagues had passed on my appreciation at the time. I decided to treat the weird tone of the boss’s initial email as likely ChatGPT / Autocomplete / Inbox-wrangling-fatigue strangeness and definite…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was asked out on LinkedIn (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update. It was really interesting seeing the commentariat split. I come from a family with a lot of public and semi-public figures (think your local news station’s traffic guy rather than, like, celebrity nepo baby) and unfortunately, we’ve dealt with actual stalkers that required police involvement before, so I’ll admit to being on higher alert to bei…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was inheriting an employee who causes chaos wherever they go? Here’s the update. Thank you so much for taking my question several months ago about having a “chaos employee” forced upon my department. I have an update and a feeling there will likely be a more dramatic addition some years down the road. I ended up talking my department out of taking on Pat! We dodged the bullet! I didn’t mention to my super…

A reader writes: Two years ago, I began managing Craig, who had been doing the same tasks day in and out for a decade. He hadn’t adapted to new technology, best practices, or industry trends. My first order of business was to coach him and challenge him to grow and learn. For more than a year, we built up a great trajectory. People saw how much his work improved and commented on it frequently, and said he seemed revitalized in many ways. His progress gave me a lot of hope that he could become good at the modern demands of his role. Then about six months ago, Craig suddenly reverted to his old patterns. It was as if the prior year of progress got completely wiped out. On…

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. A reader writes: My company’s offices are entirely open plan, with the exception of a few fish-bowl style, glass-walled conference rooms. There aren’t even dividers between desks, just one big room, so everyone can see everything that’s happening. Unfortunately, we have had to terminate a few people over the last year, typically for not meeting performance goals (as opposed to misconduct or misbehavior). Typically, the terminated employee gets the news in a conference room and is escorted out by their manager, which has had varying levels of success. There was one situation where t…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – November 28, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Ladies in Waiting: Jane Austen’s Unsung Characters, by Adriana Trigiani and more. A bunch of well-known authors, including my personal favorite Elinor Lipman, reimagine the lives of some of Jane Austen’s minor characters, including Mary Bennett, Georgiana Darcy, Caroline Bingley, and Miss Bates. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – November 29-30, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My boss keeps rotting food in our shared office I just started a new job, which I was thrilled to get and have really been enjoying so far. I share an office with one person, who is my immediate supervisor and is training me. He’s been training me well and he’s a really nice guy, but there’s one big problem: when he brings lunch to work, he doesn’t take his leftovers home. As a result, there are at least five or six large Tupperware containers under his desk, containing food in various stages of decay. The smell is, as you might imagine, pretty int…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose boss wanted her to verify that she was really exercising? Here’s the update. I appreciated the validation offered by you and your readers, and apologize I couldn’t be available when it was posted for replies. The executive director’s deadline for my “proof” was just a couple days after I reached out to you, so I had to take action before you had a chance to publish your reply. I thought about replying to the email from my executive director with the verification documents and including my ma…

Welcome to “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager! Between now and the end of the year, I’ll be running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. A heads-up about update season: for the next few weeks I’ll be posting at midnight, 11 am, 12:30 pm, 2 pm, 3:30 pm, and 5 pm (all times are Eastern)* … at a minimum. There will sometimes be additional posts at random times throughout the afternoon as well! Also, if you’ve had your letter answered here in the past and would like to send in an update, there’s still time to include it so go ahead and email it to me! * That’s Monday through Thursday. Friday will be unpredictable. The post the sch…

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. A reader writes: A while back, an employee who reported to me (I’m a man) became visibly pregnant soon after she started. But she never brought it up. Not with me, not with HR, not with anyone. I didn’t ask her about it, though nearly everyone else in our office asked me. I cringed when I responded since it was obvious she was pregnant but I felt that I needed to protect her privacy. I felt like I was walking around on pins and needles with this very obvious elephant in the room. Her job description included occasionally lifting objects up to 40 pounds and the only way I treated he…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My boss thinks my employee is lying about having cancer Yes, this is an update to “My boss thinks my employee is lying about having cancer.” Yes, she was. She also lied about losing her parents. She is also now lying on LinkedIn about the dates she was working for us, with her end date a few months earlier than her resignation. It turns out the absences and poor performance were bec…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My office is infested with wasps Here’s an update to the wasp infestation in my office: it is still ongoing. The wasps are still there. I forcefully invoked my rights under the law and was finally allowed to work from home until the wasps are gone, but I am under the impression that nothing particularly has been done about the infestation. I fully expect the wasps to return next year u…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer wondering if they were missing red flags at their new job since their coworkers kept expecting them to be miserable? Here’s the update. I’m still in the job! My boss is still a stickler, that hasn’t changed, but I’ve adjusted to him, and things have stayed pretty stable overall. I’ve now been here about nine months, and I’m hearing a lot less about the dog (thankfully) and a lot less doom-and-gloom about how the job will “turn nightmarish any day now.” It hasn’t. My team lead and colleagues are go…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Can I confiscate my coworkers’ screaming monkey toy? Today, as has happened multiple times in the last few months, some of my nearby coworkers in our relatively small satellite office decided to play catch with this “screaming monkey toy.” The noise it makes is outrageously loud, especially in our small space, and I’ve previously indicated (politely) to coworkers that I find the noise not only distracting, but extremely annoying. After the first time, I asked them if they could please make an effort to not set the toy off, because of those reasons…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose office had been sent someone who couldn’t do the work by a job placement firm that said they’d lose their funding if the letter-writer’s office didn’t keep her? The hire, Carol, not only couldn’t do the work, but was disruptive — and her wealthy parents were being disruptive too. Here’s the update. I found some menial tasks from the lists given and put Carol on them. She really liked making paper chains…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. I get bad vibes from my new boss You advised me to act like a normal professional and that was absolutely the right thing to do. When we interact, the new director is pleasant and has nice things to say to me and about the work that I do. I don’t think that she is nefarious, but unfortunately she is incompetent. She’s been a fairly absent leader, giving vague direction to teams then providing conflicting direction at the last minute, and starting meetings by sharing “profou…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering if they could ask their coworkers to tell them to shut up when they were talking too much? Here’s the update. I was the person who wrote in a moment of desperation trying to figure out how to stop myself from endlessly talking with/at coworkers and posed the idea of having a button made to tell people to tell me to hush (you know it was bad times when that sounded like a good idea). Warning for cont…