Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 17, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. New employee doesn’t pay attention to his training We’ve got a new guy at work: Dave. He’s still in his probation period. He’s never done this work before — he had a job which has a little overlap, but not much. I am not his manager, and haven’t worked with him much, but I have been asked to give him some training in my areas of expertise. His work so far for all of us has often been careless and has had to be repeated more times than is usual for a new starter, and he doesn’t seem to pay attention to instructions. A careful conversation with him is being planned, so that he has the chance to improve before his probat…

A reader writes: How far can “other duties as assigned” in a job description stretch? My company is asking us to do an assignment that is wildly outside our normal job roles. Imagine that we write user manuals for the a vacuum company, and now they’re telling us we have to go out and do 2-5 weeks of door-to-door sales in another city, 12 hours a day, for 6 days a week. We’re all salaried so the hours are within the legal limits, but the work is nothing like what we were hired to do. We have not been trained in sales and many of us feel very uncomfortable doing this work, especially when it means leaving our lives behind for as much as a month. When we’ve raised this, …

A reader writes: Should you always call to let a candidate know that they won’t be getting a job offer? Here’s the context: I’ve gotten calls and emails letting me know when I wasn’t accepted for a position. And my colleagues and I all agree that we hate getting phone calls. It’s awkward! If you don’t answer the phone, you’re not going to get a voicemail telling you you didn’t get the job, you’ll get a voicemail asking you to call back. Which means you’ll get excited thinking you’re getting a job offer! And then you’re live on the phone with a hiring manager trying to manage an awkward conversation. I’ve taken to emailing rejected candidates rather than calling, for th…

Growing up, we pick up all kinds of lessons from our families about work, often without even realizing it. You might have learned from your parents to view all managers adversarially, or that gumption is essential to getting ahead, or that you should keep your head down and never speak up about problems or to be excessively deferential, or that messing up was unforgivable … or maybe there are things you wish you had learned from your parents but didn’t. Let’s discuss in the comments. What lessons about work did you learn (or not learn) from your family, and how did those affect your career? The post what did you learn from your parents about work? appeared first on Ask …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Two of my employees don’t get along I am a manager of a few different groups, including a group of customer service representatives. This team seems to always have tension between two people. They both feel that the other isn’t doing enough or doing things incorrectly/not up to standard. They get in passive-aggressive arguments on Teams about very minor things like who will do the mail and who highlighted something on a sheet. I had to create a mail schedule and remove their access to items. Now they are both refusing to speak with each other and continue to complain about each other. I have told them both that I can …

Earlier this month we talked about work restaurant meals gone wrong, and here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The mistaken identity I (F) was in my mid-30s and traveling to work with a client. He had sent up a dinner that should have included five or six of us on the project. Everyone backed out except me, which is how I found myself at a cozy, fireside table for two at a dark but excellent Boston restaurant, drinking a glass of champagne. (I was in my bubbles era…) And who should happen to be dining there but his wife’s cousin, who barged up to the table wanting to know why he was sipping bubbly with me rather than hanging out at home with his extremely pr…

A reader writes: I manage a team of five younger professionals (all between the ages of 25 to 30). I have noticed that each of them prefers to communicate with me almost exclusively by text message or through the chat feature in our collaboration software. Conversations by phone, video, or in-person only happen when I initiate them. When I initiate an in-person conversation or phone call, my employees don’t seem opposed and typically are very engaged, but if left up to them it seems like all of the interaction with me would be via text or chat. In my own career, I’ve always valued being able to talk one-on-one with my manager, whether it’s during a formal meeting or imp…

A reader writes: I am part of a small team in a global corporation. My team works closely with other teams in the department, and we often have weekly or biweekly catch-ups to update each other on projects. My colleagues are mostly nice and pleasant to work with. There’s only one problem: everyone is obsessed with Taylor Swift. And I don’t mean it in a “owns a few of her albums and liked them” sort of way. It’s something more akin to religious fervor. They log in from rooms plastered with Taylor Swift posters and talk about her in almost every meeting. They sneak references in marketing content. The passwords we use for our shared software accounts are all Taylor Swift-…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss secretly arranged for me not to get paid for committee work I recently volunteered to serve on a committee at work. The group meets once a week during lunch and hosts weekend activities five times a year. Members who serve on the committee receive a stipend of $1,500 per year. Obviously this doesn’t amount to much when spaced out over a year’s paychecks, but I appreciate the nod to the extra work we do. When I got my first check after I began serving on the committee, I noticed the stipend hadn’t been added. I thought it was probably just an oversight and mentioned to my supervisor that I’d be running over to …

A reader writes: I was recently out to lunch with my manager and a client we’ve worked with for many years. We were talking about how the shift to WFH has changed the way we approach certain parts of our job and how we feel our companies get more work out of us than ever before because we aren’t chatting with folks in the office/going out to lunch/etc. nearly as much – all standard conversation these days. Then my manager (with whom I generally have a good relationship) said something that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about: “I don’t believe that people who work from home should take sick days.” I was honestly flummoxed! I sputtered something about illnesses lik…

A reader writes: I’m in senior leadership at a mid-sized company. My department has a number of processes and procedures that other departments need to follow and my team also handles compliance issues, so I’m often giving instructions or reminding folks of various steps they need to be taking. No matter how soft I make the feedback, no matter how benign the feedback is, I get defensiveness and over-explanation in return. A classic example is, “Please remember to copy [employee] on these requests because they track these for our department.” I expect “will do!” and, instead I get, “I haven’t done this process before, but when I do X other process, I don’t have to copy an…

A reader writes: I’m a happily married woman who works at a company that somewhat blurs the lines between work and friendship. While working at this company, I have learned that I’m a social butterfly. I enjoy socializing with colleagues after hours at trade shows, company events, and informal gatherings, especially when we have out-of-town colleagues visiting from another part of America or another part of the world. My husband is an introvert through and through, and we’ve had to learn how to navigate our opposite natures when it comes to my work’s social events. Basically, he only attends the events that are very important to me or events that only have a small group…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Worker stunk up client’s bathroom, then billed her for it I manage a team of skilled electricians who often work in clients’ homes. A client reached out to express concern that she was billed for 15 minutes during which our electrician was, quite literally, off the clock and stinking up her bathroom. I understand that nature calls, but really? Using her bathroom and charging her for it? Frankly, my personal thought is (barring an absolute emergency) he should have left her home and gone to a gas station. And then he had the nerve to charge her for it? Where do I even begin? It sounds like you and your employee — and m…

I’m off today, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2014. A reader writes: I was in the awesome position of interviewing for two roles through recruitment agencies and receiving offers for both. Both roles were aware that I had another strong offer on the table, and negotiations started between myself and the two agencies. As I was available immediately, both roles wanted me to start ASAP and had suggested start dates that were within a working week of the initial offer. Within a few days, I made my decision and I outlined my choice in an email to the recruiter of the role I was turning down. The recruiter wanted to discuss the m…

I’m off today so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2017. A reader writes: Every since I was a small child I’ve been praised for how nice I am, how likable I am, how good I am with people. In many ways, this is a positive thing. I think of it as a skill that takes effort, but is very useful. However, as I’ve started working professionally I’ve run across a problem. I have a really hard time telling people when they are being awful. I can do normal job-related criticism fine – “please make sure you proofread for typos next time,” etc. – but when it comes to more emotionally turbulent conversations or anything with conflict, I complet…

I’m off today. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Customers talk about our sizes This question is for my coworker, Jess. We both work at a women’s plus-size clothing retailer (national chain) in the midwest. I do wear some clothes from here, but to most, I probably do not look like the average plus-size person. Jess is a little larger than myself. This is unfortunately relevant because customers try to relate to Jess in such ways like “Oh! You have a big butt you can help me [pick out something that would look good with my own big butt]” or “Oh, you get it with how big your hips are!” or the most co…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Sisters Weiss, by Naomi Ragen. The daughter of a strict ultra-Orthodox Jewish family rebels against the expectations of her parents and community, to mixed results. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – October 11-12, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 10, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My abusive former boss is my new editor A beloved editor at my job left in July. This week, their replacement started — and it is Jane, my abusive former boss from five years ago. Needless to say, I was extremely taken aback (and grateful I was working from home). I have decided to just wait it out and document anything bad that happens should it happen (as you pointed out in another post that I read yesterday, five years is a long time and maybe they changed). Jane won’t be my boss but can assign work to me. But I don’t know how to talk to my coworkers about it when they ask about us working together before. I don’t…

A reader writes: I have a pretty low-stakes question but it’s been on my mind a lot lately: is it tacky to bring branded items from your old job to your new job? For context: I used to work for a big tech company, and I acquired a lot of swag over my tenure: jackets, mugs, travel cups, etc. At my old role, my colleagues and I would use branded items from competitors and no one batted an eye; lots of them would be free items from conferences and similar events, and hey, sometimes that branded travel mug from our competition is just REALLY nice. But I’ve switched to a more conservative industry (law) and I’m wondering if it would be weird to bring branded stuff from my o…

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose coworkers were joking that she was pregnant when she wasn’t — including having a local radio host congratulate her on her “pregnancy”? Here’s the update. I was reading AAM as I do every afternoon when one of the recommended posts catapulted me back into my past. I’m the reader who wrote to you about six years ago about my co-workers who wrote into a local radio station to pretending I was pregnant as a “prank.” I’ve been meaning to share an update for a while now, and this felt like a sign In th…

Let’s discuss chaos — or just mildly embarrassing / funny / off-key things — that happened when you were eating in a restaurant for work. Some stories that have been shared here in the past: I was in my mid-twenties traveling to a conference with my fifty-something boss. He could be odd and a bit awkward but never creepy or inappropriate. We were having dinner at the hotel restaurant when approached by a violin player obviously offering romantic musical accompaniment. I politely declined but my boss excitedly requested a specific piece. I then had to sit there awkwardly for several minutes while the violin player played his piece circling around us as if he was enhancin…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. When your coworker is your Uber driver This happened to a coworker, not me, but now I’m paranoid it will. She told me that over the weekend she and her roommate got in an Uber to get to a bar, and the driver was our other coworker. I have nothing against side hustles/second jobs (I work one myself, as a bartender at a theater), but of all the people we work with (we’re standard office workers at a large employer in our city) I would not have expected this specific person to take up Uber driving for extra cash. So, WWYD? My coworker said she was pretty silent the entire time but did acknowledge/greet our coworker/drive…

A reader writes: I work at a government agency (not in the U.S.) and it’s a good job. It’s a relaxed environment that definitely puts people’s safety and well-being first. However, and I never thought I’d be saying this, I think it might be too much of a good thing. People spend all day chewing on their fingernails and then touching everything (we are moving to a hot-desk only workspace). We’ve got a few people who are constantly coughing or throat-clearing, and typing/clicking so forcefully that the desk shakes. The person who sits near me arrives late almost everyday, having come from the gym, and simply changes into work clothes without showering, then spends half…