Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss is dating his former assistant, who still works here I have been an assistant for over a decade. I love the work I do. In January, I started a new role supporting the CEO of a mid-size company — definitely not a small family business, but not a Fortune 100 corporation either. I was told the position was open due to a promotion the previous assistant received, which was a great thing to hear! Upon getting here, I noticed the vibe between the CEO and his former assistant to be … different. They constantly talked during the work day about personal things, spent lunch together, and when one of them would leave for…

A reader writes: I’m going on extended leave in six weeks and there is zero — I mean zero 00 — coverage lined up. I lead a team responsible for delivering a major client contract. Management has been aware of my plans for months but interviews start this week so it’s really unlikely the new person will start before my leave. There is nobody internally I can transition my tasks to in the interim — I’ve asked and made a few suggestions, but nothing. Leadership fired the project manager and haven’t renewed the contract for my only peer, so it’s also likely there will be no client-facing leadership or anyone to manage the team once I go on leave. When I first started follo…

A reader writes: I manage some junior team members who are right out of college. One thing I have noticed is that they have a hard time saying no when I ask request something from them — as in, “Can this be done today?” or “Do you think this is a good idea?” I’ve made a career of being able to tell clients hard news, I really don’t mind hearing no! I don’t want them to overwork themselves because of what they perceive I need done, or do work that will send us over-budget. Sometimes I need to be able to have a quick conversation about these things and just get a clear “no” from them if that’s the realistic answer. Prefacing everything with “it’s really okay if you can’t…

A reader writes: I am a manager of a small team at a midsize company. Recently, one of my best performers (Jan) had a dip in morale. During Q4, we had an opening come up that would be a small promotion for her, but we were told we couldn’t fill it until the new fiscal year. She was told by me and other managers to continue performing at a high level and was given additional responsibilities to prove herself. We all felt she was a shoo-in and even told her this during her annual review. Unfortunately, the new fiscal year came around and we could not promote her. Senior management wanted to bring in an external hire. The senior manager wants to move Jan to a new team whe…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I ask my company to paint over part of an office mural? I work at a large American law firm in a medium sized branch office (HR is based in another state). My office has this huge … corporate mural? Collage? It’s a collection of portraits of famous and “inspirational” people and “inspiring” quotes. It’s got world leaders, people from history books, athletes, authors, movie stars, etc. Each individual portrait is maybe one foot by one foot? This thing spans multiple walls, floor to ceiling, probably a couple of hundred portraits total. This piece of “art” ends at the entrance to the office supply room, and the main…

A reader writes: I ran a catering business on the side for a while, in addition to my regular job. I don’t do it much anymore, but on occasion I do still take paid jobs, usually for past clients. It’s a way to make some extra money and I enjoy the work. Since my friends know I still do this, it’s not uncommon for them to ask me to do catering work for their own events (parties, kids’ birthdays, etc.). This would be fine except that I can tell they think they’re doing me a favor by giving me their business, and they aren’t! I have enough of the work coming in through regular channels that I’m not really looking for more work. It’s thoughtful of them to want to pay me (a…

A reader writes: I recently made it through to the final interview round for a job I was very excited about. I’ve been in my current position without a clear path to promotion long enough to have been eyeing the exits for a while, and finally I found myself in a hiring process that felt like it was going really well. I was meshing with all the people who I would be working with at this company. The conversations we had about the vision I would bring to their team also energized me in a way that my current work hasn’t in quite some time. The final interview ended up being scheduled on the same day as a company party at my current job. I thought that was great, because it…

A reader writes: I wonder if you could offer your perspective on something I’ve been wondering about for a long time now. When I was 16 years old, I got my first job. The culture was one that I now recognize as abusive, and teen employees were regularly taken advantage of in some awful ways. At the time, though, it was my only experience with the professional world, and I assumed that much of it was normal. I had excellent attendance and was always on time, but on one particular day, I was extremely sick — could-not-get-out-of-bed sick. (I would later find out I had scarlet fever, so extremely contagious and potentially dangerous.) I was scheduled to work that day, so…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss treats our coworker’s performance issues as team performance issues I have a colleague, Sarah, who has been in the job longer than anyone else but constantly ignores our processes. Some of these processes were put in place even before I joined almost eight years ago and she helped teach me. This has resulted in extra work for me and another colleague, Jacinta, who has now been assigned to monitor Sarah’s work and provide feedback. But even worse, our manager does not seem to directly address the issue with Sarah but instead calls team meetings (some in-office when we are all remote) over and over again to addr…

A reader writes: I’ve just had the strangest interview experience. After the hiring manager and I introduced ourselves, she opened by asking, “Have you read our action plan?” I had not. I pivoted and replied that I’d read a couple other documents which are prominently linked on the company’s website, especially the one titled “’24-’27 Plan.” She indicated that was an outdated document, and that she was glad to know I hadn’t read it, as it would inform our interview moving forward. Okay. She mentioned the action plan later in the interview, and I indicated I was looking forward to reading it and was sorry to have missed it. Towards the end, she asked if I had any quest…

Workplace “wellness” initiatives — like free yoga classes, mindfulness tips, step challenges, diet advice, and other pushes for well-being now common at work — are supposed to be a win-win situation: employees get healthier and happier while employers reap the benefits of lower health care costs. But in practice, these programs frequently miss the mark, and many employees perceive them as intrusive and out of touch. At Slate today, I wrote about workplace “wellness” so often goes wrong (including one wellness advisor who suggested eating goulash as a cure-all). You can read it here. The post workplace wellness initiatives do more harm than good appeared first on Ask a M…

A reader writes: I have an older male coworker who frequently asks me about my office hours and makes comments about my presence in the office. To provide some context, my department has a flexible attendance policy, while his department requires that he be in the office five days a week. I suspect his comments are passive-aggressive, especially since he has previously complained resentfully to me about other team members’ attendance and about his own in-office requirements. Some examples of comments he’s made to me: “What is your in-office schedule? Because I never know when you’re here.” “Are you in the office today, because I came to your desk earlier, but you were…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Will people think I named my baby after my employee? I have a direct report who has a name that you don’t necessarily hear every day, but doesn’t strike you as a unique name either. I am currently pregnant and love this name. It’s been on my list of potential names for a while and I have a personal connection to it as well. My hesitation is my direct report — obviously I don’t think she will believe that I named my child after her, but it feels weird to explain and I worry about feeling self-conscious telling colleagues the name we decided. It feels oddly insulting to my colleague to say, “Oh, I didn’t name my baby af…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Everything Here Is Under Control, by Emily Adrian. Two estranged friends reunite when one is breaking under the strain of new motherhood. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – October 25-26, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 24, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Clients apologize to my boss for snapping at me I am a receptionist/admin in a two-person office. I understand fully that it is my job to be the front line dealing with clients both in person and on the phone. However, I’m baffled by this thing that has happened several times in the three years I’ve been in this job, and happened again last week most egregiously. A client will snap at me over a policy I cannot change/have zero control over. They will storm out in a huff. Then later, they will call, I’ll answer the phone, they’ll ask to speak to my boss (Jane), and then once I transfer the call, they apologize to her f…

A reader writes: You’ve recommended that interviewers consider lunch interviews in some circumstances and advised candidates with dietary restrictions to review the menu in advance and choose a known safe item. I’m hoping you can help me navigate a more difficult version of this situation. I don’t eat any food prepared by restaurants because I can’t reliably avoid getting sick unless I’ve tested the exact item multiple times at home. Even if I review the ingredients, I might identify something that will make me sick, but I can’t be confident that it won’t (unless the only ingredient is water). While nothing I eat would cause serious injury, I’m not comfortable risking …

At the end of each year, I publish a slew of “where are they now” updates from people whose questions I answered here in the past. In past years we’ve had several hundred each December and it’s been magnificent. If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Did you take the advice? Did you not take the advice? What happened? How’s your situation now? (Don’t post your updates here though; email them to me.) Note: Your update doesn’t have to be positive or big to be worth submitting. We want to hear them all, even if you don’t think yours is that interesting. And if there’s anyone you espe…

Last week we talked about how far “other duties as assigned” can stretch a job description (in response to a letter where writers were being asked to do door-to-door sales). Let’s discuss other times “other duties as assigned” has gone wild. What are the weirdest, most out-there things you’ve been asked to do at work that had nothing whatsoever to do with your job? The post “other duties as assigned”: let’s discuss things you’ve been asked to do at work that were wildly outside your job appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. A coworker lent me a book four years ago and I still haven’t returned it This feels very low-stakes, but it’s something that hovers at the back of my mind. About four years ago, a coworker and I were talking about books we were reading, and she gushed about a great one she’d just finished. The next day, she brought a copy of the book to the office and gave it to me, suggesting I should read it. Since then, I’ve moved twice, I still have the book, and I still haven’t read it. I am avoiding returning it because I’m embarrassed that I haven’t read it (I’m a big reader, but I very much read by mood, and this book is outsi…

A reader writes: This year, several people in my reporting line have asked for last-minute vacation days because a partner or friend “surprised” them with a trip or event – already booked and, of course, non-refundable. Each time we’ve bent policy so they don’t lose out, but it’s starting to feel like we’re rewarding poor planning (or very confident gift-givers). One person has even done it twice! Everyone making these requests is in their early 20s, while I’m over 40 and feeling more curmudgeonly every day. Is this a generational thing – maybe inspired by TikTok surprise reveal culture – or just pure luck that I’d never encountered it before? What really gets me is th…

Federal workers and others affected by the government shutdown: we’re in day 22 with no end in sight. How are you doing? What’s going on in your workplace / with your colleagues? The post government shutdown day 22: how are you doing? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I was on a Zoom call today with my direct report and an intern. I momentarily took off my headphones to blow my nose and put myself on mute. However, through the headphones I heard my direct report say to the intern, “He’s so clueless!” I am struggling with the best way to respond. Not only is this unprofessional behavior, but I have spent a lot of time training the direct report and have praised her to the higher-ups, as well as recently encouraged the leadership team to give her greater responsibility. So it feels a bit as a betrayal as well. She’s a millennial and I’m the youngest of the boomers if that matters, which it shouldn’t. What would be the…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How much should I expect to hang out with my coworker on a week-long work trip? I have an upcoming work trip that I’m feeling a little anxious about, mostly because I’m unsure how to handle the social side of things. It’s a week-long trip with just one coworker. They seem lovely, but we haven’t worked closely together before. I’ve traveled with larger groups in the past, and in those situations the unspoken norm seemed to be: do dinner together at least once or twice, and apart from that, it’s okay to stay in or go out on your own if you prefer. After all, there are others in the group they can spend time with if they…

A reader writes: I have developed a stance over time that my friends, partner, and colleagues all say is unprofessional: I let people at work be wrong, especially if it’s not going to impact our bottom line, due dates, or project quality. I particularly stay out of things if they’re trying to get someone in trouble and it bites them in the butt afterward. When I was younger, I would over-explain myself, which made things worse/made me look unprofessional, so when someone’s wrong now I just let them be wrong, especially if I’m met with rude pushback, which can be typical in my line of work. Some examples of this include a mix-up with a client meeting due to time zones. …