Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: Through a bit of misfortune, I had to fall back on working at the company my parents own, in order to pay my bills. It is a challenging job market, to say the least, so I am grateful that I have this safety net I can fall back on. However, it isn’t without its own league of challenges: my coworkers have taken to making complaints about me to my parents, who are the bosses, about issues that quite frankly seem petulant. In one case, one coworker was noting what times I was clocking in and made a complaint when I clocked in three hours earlier than everybody else to finish paperwork in…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – May 16, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Dearly Departed, by Elinor Lipman. After the unexpected death of her mother, single mom returns to her small hometown and realized life there was different than she’d previously understood. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – May 17-18, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: A couple of weeks ago, I gave my employee, Rita, negative feedback on her behavior. It wasn’t what she was saying; it was how she was saying it. She was speaking rapidly and in a panicked but unwarranted manner. She was high-strung and scattered, and I felt interrogated. She accepted my feedback professionally, apologized, and showed subsequent improvement. Two days ago, a coworker texted me a link to a blog about people with disabilities and asked, “This you?” Rita has a regular column on a blog about her disability, ADHD. I knew she had an ADA accommodation, but that’s all. She wrote her latest column about our interaction. She accurately described e…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I recently interviewed for and accepted a job as a nurse at the very small hospital in my very small midwestern town. My lovely manager was very transparent about how they are big supporters of work-life balance, and gave tangible examples of how they support families, because they have “small town values.” She is clearly very proud of this fact and puts a lot of stock in being a “good” manager. I know some of the employees on that floor, and everything she says seems to be true and not just lip service. Well, I am pregnant (around 15-16 weeks when I interviewed) but, naturally, did …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employer is making us leave fake positive reviews on Glassdoor My employer has instructed several of us to write fake positive reviews of the company on Glassdoor in an effort to revive their rating and improve recruitment. We have all marched in lockstep with this, and I have begrudgingly (on the inside) agreed. I’m sure I am not the only one who is hesitant to do this but so far nobody has spoken up against it. Management provided us with a unique template to copy and paste, including a body paragraph and specific ratings, to post on Glassdoor…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about weird hills to die on — people who became so strongly committed to a minor fight that they lost all sight of logic and decorum — and here are 10 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The newsletter Our Fortune 500 company hosted a weekend company-wide softball tourney, which was won by a team led by a guy known around the office as Hothead. Monday morning arrives and the company-wide daily email goes out with important company announcements. One of the items included was the results of the previous weekend’s softball tourney. Hothead was livid about the fact that it include…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Excusing myself from a fancy work lunch due to allergies I have severe food allergies to multiple common food items. They are complex (substitutes for one food often contain another, some allergies are tied to flavoring or preservative agents not immediately obvious, etc.), often challenging, truly allergic (not an intolerance), and fairly new (adult onset a few years ago). For that reason, I very rarely eat out. My food intake is consistent and incredibly limited. I had to work with a dietician for several months to figure out how to even get enou…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is making our friend break-up really weird I have a coworker who I was friends with outside of work for about a year. Due to various issues inside and outside of work (complaining about coworkers over Teams, asking the same basic questions over and over, not doing any bare-minimum problem-solving before asking for help, expecting a lot of emotional support while not providing it back, and just a lot of emotional immaturity), I ended our friendship last July with no possibility of being friends again. We’re in the same department and have…

A reader writes: I’ve been at my company for five years and enjoy my job. The work is in line with what I want to do long-term, I’m getting great experience, the people I work with are nice, and my boss is easy to work for and has mentored me in ways I’ve never received at a job before. All things considered, I’m pretty happy here. However, about a year ago, my boss brought up the possibility of a promotion. There’s no natural role for me to move into (the next position up is hers, and she’s not going anywhere), but she proposed creating a job where I’d take on more responsibility for some pieces of running the department, including things like training new hires and re…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I supervise a team of seven, split between two offices. Sally is an employee in her early 20s working in the opposite office as myself. Sally is a slob. This is not typical workplace clutter. She leaves work and personal items all over the office — moldy food containers, piles of work items, boxes, etc. Her messes have taken up to an hour to clean up. Her own office is such a mess that she spreads her work out to all of the common areas in the office, and then leaves the common areas a mess. She has not responded to typical feedback or formal warnings, and the issue has been escalate…

A reader writes: I’m the president of a small grassroots not-for-profit board and I have plenty of virtual meetings with other board members, volunteers, community partners, and staff for one reason or another. I’m wondering if you have any suggested language for when people no-show for meetings. It’s a relatively minor issue, but it happens often enough to be pretty irritating. I’m not necessarily asking for language about setting expectations for attending meetings in general, but words to use in the immediate aftermath: when I don’t know what happened and so I’m partially worried but also annoyed. I try to give the benefit of the doubt, so I’ll send things like, “Mis…

A reader writes: Over the past year, I have been coaching my employee, “Mike,” on various performance issues and it has gotten to the point that we need a formal performance improvement plan. I don’t think this should be a surprise to him, but I’m getting the impression that he does not really understand how serious it is. We have very different communication styles. I prefer to be direct and detailed. Mike tends to use generalizations and can take a long time to think and gather his thoughts before answering a question. I’ve been working on softening my approach and asking clarifying questions to make sure we are on the same page, but things still get lost in translati…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Especially early in your carer, it’s common to think that they way your workplace does things is normal — and then you move somewhere near and discover that having a goat shrine isn’t normal at all. This can also happen if you stay at one job for a long time, or if you move to a new field. We don’t always know that what we’re surrounded by isn’t normal — until something makes us realize that it’s not. Today’s “ask the readers” is a suggestion from a reader, who requests stories of “expressions, traditions, methods that you thought were universal but which you learned were actually just a weird thing y…

A reader writes: I’m a manager at a large organization and am almost always in the midst of a recruitment process for one role or another. Our hiring and interview guides are built to stop as much bias from creeping in as possible. In practice, this means that I usually have a set of questions that I plan to ask all candidates, and then I leave time for candidates’ questions. Unless they ask our recruiter, they don’t generally get given any information on the format ahead of time, nor are they asked to prepare anything. Today, however, I was surprised. A candidate walked into the interview room with his laptop and, after pleasantries, proceeded to tell me he had a prese…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I check on my boss when she’s late to work? I have autism and this falls into the realm of social norms that I struggle to navigate. My department is made up of just my supervisor and myself. We’re in public-facing roles and our office is open 12 hours a day, so we alternate shifts. Each day one of us opens and one of us comes in four hours later and then closes for the day. On the days my supervisor closes, she sometimes comes in late with no notice. I’m currently sitting at my desk wondering if I should check in with her because she was su…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My very supportive boss is leaving, and I blame his partner I currently have an incredibly supportive boss but he plans to leave his role soon because his long-term partner lives in a different region of the country and refuses to move nearer to where he lives even though they work remotely. I’m legally disabled and worried that whoever takes over once he lives will be far less accommodating in regards to my disability, especially considering that I’ve had to pivot to a lower caliber field after a devastating job loss that I’ve still not gotten ove…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss is my boyfriend and won’t give me a day off The owner of the restaurant where I work is my boyfriend and the general manager. I asked for a day off a month ahead of when I needed it off. It’s on Mother’s Day and, yes, it is one of the busiest days of the year. But I have worked there for three years and never took a day off, unless he wanted us to go on a vacation. He recently hired someone two weeks ago and promised her Mother’s Day off because it’s her birthday. I have missed out on so so many things in the past three years because he need…

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2021. A reader writes: My fiancé, “Ted,” has worked for 10 years on a small, very close-knit team, all of whom seem to get along exceptionally well. All the team members and spouses/partners socialize outside of work together as well, and we consider them all to be close friends. We thought they felt the same. A few months ago, on the way to a work event, Ted and his coworker/best friend “Bob” were involved in a serious car accident and were rushed to the ER. Everyone waited anxiously for hours as they both underwent surgery. Thankfully, they both recovered. When Ted r…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This one’s weird. I would love your thoughts, if you can. Some of my coworkers and I got a text from an unknown number addressing us by our first names and asking us to rate the company we work at. It was different than the usual company survey text in that it wanted a direct response rather than following an outside link, and it came from what looked like a personal phone number rather than the five-digit number the company will use. The whole thing seemed suspicious, especially since we all just completed the monthly multiple question survey the week before. My coworker looked up …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss won’t stop wearing perfume that gives me headaches I have a generally good relationship with my boss. We work in a shared office space which includes my boss, me, and three other people. I am Covid-cautious still and wear a KN95 mask full-time and run an air purifier while I’m at work. Since moving into the shared space, I’ve had increased instances of headaches that linger into the evenings, often hours after I’ve left the office. The headaches are negatively impacting my work productivity, as well as the rest of my life. Several months ag…

A reader writes: I work at a K-12 school in a teacher-leader role. This means I do not have my own classes nor do I have management powers over any staff. Our school hires a substitute teacher to come to the building every day on the chance that one teacher is going to be unexpectedly absent. Our staff attendance has become much worse over the last five years, so this is a worthwhile bet on the part of the school. Her job is tough in that she substitutes for classes with last-minute notice, and some days — though not often — she sits around all day with nothing to do because all teachers were present that day. We also hire additional subs on a day-to-day basis when we kn…

A reader writes: I started a new job abroad. It’s a small country, and I’m adjusting well. I lived as an expat for six years prior to this in a less developed country, working in a much smaller, less professional company, and I know how much worse things can be in terms of working conditions, pay, and general living standards. I’ve been treated 1,000% better by this company than I was by the last place I worked, and I try to tell them that, but they don’t listen. They seem convinced that it’s only a matter of weeks before I find out what it’s “really like” here and quit. To be fair, my first day was admittedly shaky. My boss, Jake, wasn’t there to provide any guidance an…