Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I recently interviewed for and accepted a job as a nurse at the very small hospital in my very small midwestern town. My lovely manager was very transparent about how they are big supporters of work-life balance, and gave tangible examples of how they support families, because they have “small town values.” She is clearly very proud of this fact and puts a lot of stock in being a “good” manager. I know some of the employees on that floor, and everything she says seems to be true and not just lip service. Well, I am pregnant (around 15-16 weeks when I interviewed) but, naturally, did …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose boss was pressuring them to work more hours when they had just back from stress leave? Here’s the update. Good news all around, thank you for the advice — I desperately needed to hear it. It ended up working out — eventually. Brian’s outbursts, yelling, and general unreasonableness got worse after I wrote in, to the point where he would shout at me and everyone else in front of the team. I’m proud of keeping my cool in those moments, but I was in tears afterwards. It sucked. “Nobody is bigger than the project” became a sort of meme on our site, which was a funny upsid…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – May 16, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Dearly Departed, by Elinor Lipman. After the unexpected death of her mother, single mom returns to her small hometown and realized life there was different than she’d previously understood. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – May 17-18, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss was upset I wanted to leave when our A/C failed Last year, my coworker spent the majority of an eight-hour Saturday shift in a public building with no operable bathroom. She reported a sewage backup to our boss and the answering service of the facilities department responsible for maintaining the toilets, but her calls for help went unanswered. This was on my mind last Saturday, when our building’s A/C failed. I put in the same calls, but the only response I got was my boss asking me to let her know if it gets any hotter. A little before no…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. If I opt out of team-building activities, I still have to work on those days I work for a small nonprofit with about 25 employees. Recently, we have begun “employee engagement” activities, like visiting local attractions. These activities take place during work hours. We are not forced to participate, but if we choose not to, then we are expected to work while those who do want to participate are basically paid to hang out at a local attraction, restaurant, etc. I don’t enjoy these kinds of group activities, but I’m not trying to keep anyone from g…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I check on my boss when she’s late to work? I have autism and this falls into the realm of social norms that I struggle to navigate. My department is made up of just my supervisor and myself. We’re in public-facing roles and our office is open 12 hours a day, so we alternate shifts. Each day one of us opens and one of us comes in four hours later and then closes for the day. On the days my supervisor closes, she sometimes comes in late with no notice. I’m currently sitting at my desk wondering if I should check in with her because she was su…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about weird hills to die on — people who became so strongly committed to a minor fight that they lost all sight of logic and decorum — and here are 10 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The newsletter Our Fortune 500 company hosted a weekend company-wide softball tourney, which was won by a team led by a guy known around the office as Hothead. Monday morning arrives and the company-wide daily email goes out with important company announcements. One of the items included was the results of the previous weekend’s softball tourney. Hothead was livid about the fact that it include…

A reader writes: I’ve been at my company for five years and enjoy my job. The work is in line with what I want to do long-term, I’m getting great experience, the people I work with are nice, and my boss is easy to work for and has mentored me in ways I’ve never received at a job before. All things considered, I’m pretty happy here. However, about a year ago, my boss brought up the possibility of a promotion. There’s no natural role for me to move into (the next position up is hers, and she’s not going anywhere), but she proposed creating a job where I’d take on more responsibility for some pieces of running the department, including things like training new hires and re…

A reader writes: Over the past year, I have been coaching my employee, “Mike,” on various performance issues and it has gotten to the point that we need a formal performance improvement plan. I don’t think this should be a surprise to him, but I’m getting the impression that he does not really understand how serious it is. We have very different communication styles. I prefer to be direct and detailed. Mike tends to use generalizations and can take a long time to think and gather his thoughts before answering a question. I’ve been working on softening my approach and asking clarifying questions to make sure we are on the same page, but things still get lost in translati…

A reader writes: I’m the president of a small grassroots not-for-profit board and I have plenty of virtual meetings with other board members, volunteers, community partners, and staff for one reason or another. I’m wondering if you have any suggested language for when people no-show for meetings. It’s a relatively minor issue, but it happens often enough to be pretty irritating. I’m not necessarily asking for language about setting expectations for attending meetings in general, but words to use in the immediate aftermath: when I don’t know what happened and so I’m partially worried but also annoyed. I try to give the benefit of the doubt, so I’ll send things like, “Mis…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employer is making us leave fake positive reviews on Glassdoor My employer has instructed several of us to write fake positive reviews of the company on Glassdoor in an effort to revive their rating and improve recruitment. We have all marched in lockstep with this, and I have begrudgingly (on the inside) agreed. I’m sure I am not the only one who is hesitant to do this but so far nobody has spoken up against it. Management provided us with a unique template to copy and paste, including a body paragraph and specific ratings, to post on Glassdoor…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker reacts out loud when reading about politics I work at a front desk position at a cultural institution, and usually there is a lot of down time at my job. I love this aspect of the job and usually spend several hours a day reading. There are almost always two people on staff, so there are a few different people I will work alongside for the entire day. One of my coworkers verbally reacts to a lot of things that they are looking at during this otherwise quiet time. This person will laugh abruptly and very loudly, or will make comments into the silence like “oh wow” or “ew, that’s horrible.” Sometimes these r…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: As a millennial (I’m 40) who spent years being mocked and maligned for enjoying avocado toast, I’m averse to generational generalizations. That said, I’m a manager in a large finance company struggling with how to motivate and manage our youngest employees. Our company is typical for finance; buttoned up, long-ish hours, high expectations. We have thousands of employees who range in age from early 20s to 70s. The early career employees we’ve hired since the pandemic are … different. Our company was quick to recognize that, because these employees started their careers when everything…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I want to quit my job and open a bookstore I work in tax accounting. Tax season just ended and the overtime nearly killed me. I love my job but I’m tired of it. I’m also in my mid twenties and more or less feel like I settled down too soon. I work at a small firm and the owners are the best bosses I’ve ever had. I really enjoy the people I work with and I enjoy what I do. I’m well paid and have good benefits including 100% employer paid health insurance. But I’m starting to get tired of it. Lately I’ve been fantasizing about opening a bookstore. I…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Especially early in your carer, it’s common to think that they way your workplace does things is normal — and then you move somewhere near and discover that having a goat shrine isn’t normal at all. This can also happen if you stay at one job for a long time, or if you move to a new field. We don’t always know that what we’re surrounded by isn’t normal — until something makes us realize that it’s not. Today’s “ask the readers” is a suggestion from a reader, who requests stories of “expressions, traditions, methods that you thought were universal but which you learned were actually just a weird thing y…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss says my salary research is wrong because our benefits are so great I recently received a promotion with a significant increase in job responsibilities and found myself negotiating salary for the first time in my career. My state requires salary ranges to be posted with job descriptions, so I have a good idea what other companies in our industry are offering for my role and my years of experience, and I asked for a similar amount, about 10% higher than what I was offered. My manager wanted to know how I came up with the new number, so I point…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m an admin in a small office, with a centrally located desk. One of my coworkers, Miranda, literally never stops talking. I counted for a while and she averages two major interruptions per hour, mostly extended monologues about personal minutiae, intimate relationship problems, or absolute and total nonsense. Basically, her entire internal monologue is externalized at all times. She announces everything she’s doing. She tells me long stories about how she managed things like “loaning her bike to someone” or “changing the exact location of her keys” that follow the entire storyline …

A reader writes: I started a new job abroad. It’s a small country, and I’m adjusting well. I lived as an expat for six years prior to this in a less developed country, working in a much smaller, less professional company, and I know how much worse things can be in terms of working conditions, pay, and general living standards. I’ve been treated 1,000% better by this company than I was by the last place I worked, and I try to tell them that, but they don’t listen. They seem convinced that it’s only a matter of weeks before I find out what it’s “really like” here and quit. To be fair, my first day was admittedly shaky. My boss, Jake, wasn’t there to provide any guidance an…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Excusing myself from a fancy work lunch due to allergies I have severe food allergies to multiple common food items. They are complex (substitutes for one food often contain another, some allergies are tied to flavoring or preservative agents not immediately obvious, etc.), often challenging, truly allergic (not an intolerance), and fairly new (adult onset a few years ago). For that reason, I very rarely eat out. My food intake is consistent and incredibly limited. I had to work with a dietician for several months to figure out how to even get enou…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I supervise a team of seven, split between two offices. Sally is an employee in her early 20s working in the opposite office as myself. Sally is a slob. This is not typical workplace clutter. She leaves work and personal items all over the office — moldy food containers, piles of work items, boxes, etc. Her messes have taken up to an hour to clean up. Her own office is such a mess that she spreads her work out to all of the common areas in the office, and then leaves the common areas a mess. She has not responded to typical feedback or formal warnings, and the issue has been escalate…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How to ask HR for additional support without undermining my boss Recently, I raised a concern with my skip-level manager, Crowley, about a colleague (Alastair) making inappropriate comments about my appearance. Crowley immediately flagged the comments as inappropriate, told me I shouldn’t have to deal with remarks about my age or appearance at work, and said he’d speak to Alastair’s manager — which he did the same day and confirmed when it was done. He also told me to come to him again if anything similar happens. Now, Alastair has emailed me to apologize and ask what, specifically, he said that made me feel disrespec…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My promotion was canceled because of budget … but I’m still doing the work I’m an employee at a university paid through federal funding. Last month, my manager submitted a promotion for me. After some back and forth, it was approved all the way up and down the chain by everyone and just waiting for the last signature to be finalized. At the last second, two days before the deadline, upper management said that due to funding uncertainty the promotion was cancelled. Unfortunately, I don’t expect this uncertainty to resolve any time soon, so who knows …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss is my boyfriend and won’t give me a day off The owner of the restaurant where I work is my boyfriend and the general manager. I asked for a day off a month ahead of when I needed it off. It’s on Mother’s Day and, yes, it is one of the busiest days of the year. But I have worked there for three years and never took a day off, unless he wanted us to go on a vacation. He recently hired someone two weeks ago and promised her Mother’s Day off because it’s her birthday. I have missed out on so so many things in the past three years because he need…