Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I refuse to fetch my manager’s personal mail? I work in a room with my manager and two colleagues, and between them they order 3-10 personal packages to the office a week. They don’t get up to answer the door even when they’re sitting chatting rather than working; unless I’m on the phone, they expect me to get it. I’ve brought this up with them, but they don’t think it’s unfair. I’ve even injured myself fetching their heavy packages, and the manager’s solution was to email the team telling us to ask delivery drivers to put packages on the floor. That doesn’t solve my problem. It comes across as very entitled to ex…

A reader writes: I’ve been working at a university for eight years in the donor relations department. This past year has been really tough for the university budget-wise, for various political funding reasons. There was a round of layoffs in late April, where 10 out of the 60 people let go were in our unit (which has about 200 people). Another layer to consider is that our fundraising unit has gone through a massive reorg with a lot of roles being compressed with bigger portfolios. We used to have stewardship person in each faculty, now we have stewardship officers responsible for 3+ faculties. Our team is really flat, with the associate director having seven direct re…

A reader writes: Could we do an open thread for federal employees and federal contractors about the possible government shutdown? I wasn’t working in government for the last one and don’t really know what to expect. Yes indeed. People impacted by the last shutdown, what advice do you have for people affected by this one? And people affected by this one, ask and share away. The posts from the shutdowns in 2018 and 2019 might also be helpful, and here’s a piece from 2013 by a commenter about what not to say to friends who had been furloughed by the government shut-down then. The post the government shutdown: an open thread for federal employees and contractors appeared …

A reader writes: I recently came across a letter you answered about 10 years ago, where a woman wanted to decline an invitation to a wedding because she was uncomfortable with it being gender segregated. Your response was unsurprising, but I was a bit taken aback that a number of commenters mentioned they would be offended even being invited to a gender-segregated wedding, which are common in my community. I am a single Orthodox Jewish woman in my 20’s. My company is located near the large Orthodox Jewish community I am part of, so about half of my coworkers are from that community as well, and the other half are a mix of religious and secular non-Jews. We are a small o…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me I had to be on camera while sick My department hosts a monthly zoom meeting to a large audience. That week I was working from home with a terrible cold (coughing, sneezing, runny nose, the whole package). The day the meeting was scheduled to occur, I emailed my manager excusing myself for not having my camera on as I was sick. She emailed me back with, “Please be camera ready for the meeting, all participants are expected to be on camera.” I was not presenting; I am just required to attend, and not having my camera on would not pose any disruption to the meeting. I didn’t have the energy to even reply …

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Single, Carefree, Mellow, by Katherine Heiny. I don’t normally like short stories but I will read everything Katherine Heiny writes and these short stories are just as funny and smart about love and relationships as her longer books. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – September 27-28, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – September 26, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I’m aggravated by my company’s giving-back program My company has a giving-back program where employees are asked to volunteer time or make donations to charity and in return there is a designated one-day holiday that the entire company gets off. Terrific, right? This year, my team signed up for a charity event that was centrally located, which then moved to a much less convenient location for everybody. Most of us opted to make a donation to one of the suggested charities since twice the commute was just too much time away from work. We then got push back to put on record how we gave back and when stated that we made…

A reader writes: I have been working at my company for three years now. In that time, I have been to the office approximately once. My work is pretty solitary and doesn’t require me to be in the office. Only a few people in the organization are required to go to the office every day. I am not one of them and neither is my supervisor. Nobody I work with directly is required to go to the office on a regular basis. They can go, but it is not required. My original supervisor was fine with my team only meeting in person for holiday parties, but she left last year. My new supervisor really wants to get me into the office more. She was surprised I had never been there, and wa…

Remember the letter-writer who was covering two full-time jobs and her boss wouldn’t help? It turns out that she solved the problem herself before I printed my answer. Here’s the update. Your advice was lovely and I hope it helps people who are in the same position as I was. As an update – Things got worse for 2-3 more months. I did have conversations with her where I explicitly clarified I could not do the workload she was requesting, and every time she would acknowledge it but continue to act shocked and say degrading things to me when the workload was not completed. I took over the hiring after some pushing, and screened a number of applicants over the phone and hos…

We’ve talked about terrible corporate gifts, so now it’s time to talk about great ones. And yes, money and time off are the best gifts, but sometimes you’re going to get something else so let’s hear about what actually worked. Some examples that have been shared here in the past: The best Doctor’s Day gift I ever received was a bobblehead of myself. They took our ID photos and had them made into bobbleheads. It’s hysterical. I love it. My company does a gift select each December that I really like. They work with a local bakery and have a selection of four items to choose from – typically a cheesecake, chocolate cake, quiche, or a fruit basket (this sometimes comes fr…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employer pulled my offer after I asked questions Last year I worked at a school I absolutely loved in a contract middle leadership position, covering leave. They were very happy with my work, but as there was only space for one person in the role, I couldn’t stay on. This year, however, the permanent staff member resigned and the school immediately contacted me to ask if I was interested in returning. I said yes, but explained I needed to weigh it up carefully, as I had just started a new permanent role elsewhere. The position was advertised and I went through the recruitment process. After my interview on Thursday, I…

A reader writes: I’m the other side of letters you get more commonly: I am the overly talkative coworker trying to figure out how to professionally ask (read as beg) people to cut me off. I have pretty obvious/intense ADHD and do work with my doc to manage it as best we can. Unfortunately, we have not hit the magic mix yet. Since there is no hiding it for me, I am lucky to have supportive bosses who make it safe to be pretty open about it. The problem I am having is that while my current meds are really helping with most things, once I start talking, usually about something work-related, I cannot stop myself (literally screaming in my head to shut up, but hooray for exe…

A reader writes: I’ve just hired a new remote employee who is absolutely wonderful. He’s organized, driven, talented and self-starting. I feel like I’ve won the jackpot — with a catch. His internet is really, really bad. It’s almost impossible to have him share his screen with me (or vice versa) or to carry on a conversation without a very noticeable lag. Because of this, he will often call into virtual meetings from his personal phone. I can’t pretend to know anything about his personal circumstances. For all I know, he could be working through student debt and I would hate to bring up something that might be uncomfortable for him. I have mentioned in passing using alt…

A reader writes: A friend of mine got a job in property management and wasn’t told about the dress code until a couple months in. It is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. The highlights: * Women can only shop at Ann Taylor. They are given $700 twice a year for a clothing allowance, but $700 only gets you two suits and two shirts. * They have to wear certain color combinations on certain days, which means you can’t just buy those two suits and rotate them every other day. * Women have to wear heels. Property management involves some desk work but a whole lot of walking around, so you have to run around inside, outside, and up and down stairs in heels. Can th…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I need to give feedback to someone who thinks they have imposter syndrome but really doesn’t know what they’re doing I work in a pretty varied team, say developing tea and teapots. I lead the teapots division, and I have a counterpart, Lee, who leads the tea division. In Lee’s tea division, Sam is in charge of rolling out a campaign for a new line of green teas, while Lee has only ever worked with the existing line of black teas, and has never run a campaign like this. Sam does not have much relevant experience at all, and doesn’t know what they don’t know. I on the other hand have been involved in new tea line develo…

Earlier this month, we talked about corporate gifts that went terribly wrong. You shared so many outrageous stories that I had to split my favorites into two parts. Part one was here, and here’s part two. 1. The fire hazard After college I spent some time temping for a cargo airline. When someone had been with the company for five years, they were given a little glass globe paperweight. Part of my job was sending them out – a lot of the company’s employees were pilots and flight crew, so they didn’t come in to an office, and we mailed the gifts to their homes. After a while we got an email from one of the pilots. He had placed his globe on his desk by the window and wa…

Remember the letter-writer whose building was being plagued by human waste outside it? Here’s the update. The pooping has stopped! It was actually just a small group of six people who were causing the biggest problems. There were mental health issues at play as well. Our boss had several conversations with the police and created a plan that involved him monitoring the security cameras at night and calling the police non-emergency number any nights that group was sleeping under our awning. The police would send the homeless outreach team to give resources and ask the individuals to move on. If they didn’t move on, they were given no trespassing orders. There is a publi…

A reader writes: I have a coworker who is making me do her work, I asked my boss for help but I feel like he’s being really laissez faire about the whole thing. What should I do? How should I set boundaries with her, healthily? I work for a small research lab, and I’m rather new (hired four months ago). I have a coworker, Amanda, who doesn’t do her job. Examples include: missing a meeting because she was napping, coming into work only to use the printer/computer to plan a surprise party for her husband, spending “all day” replying to two emails, and most egregiously having her friend take a data analysis assessment for her when she was hired. She apparently has a histor…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My office is infested with wasps I work in a field where telework for any reason has been prohibited by our CEO. We can telework and did throughout the lockdown portion of the pandemic, but he’s aggressively against it now. Some offices and some supervisors are more lax about allowing it, but mine are not. Separately, our building has been harboring a reoccurring wasp infestation. Every summer, the building fills up with wasps. I guess my employer has complained about this to our landlord, and in response the landlord has used canned, commercially available wasp sprays a couple of times, administered by our building’s…

A reader writes: This may not be an answerable question, but I’m interested in your views on what makes company culture. I ask because my very small (fewer than 10 people), 100%-remote company recently hired a new employee, and during the interview I anticipated that the candidate might ask about company culture and I realized that I would not know what to say. This was an unusual hire for our company, because it was only the third time in our more than 10-year history that we’ve hired someone who had no previous connection to a current employee. A quick overview of my company might provide helpful perspective: a couple of us have been here since the company’s inceptio…

A reader writes: I just finished conducting a job interview where it was clear from the candidate’s answer to the first question that he was not going to get the job, but I felt like it would be rude to indicate that so abruptly. So I wasted 20 more minutes of his time going through the motions and by the end we both knew it was not a fit but I didn’t know what to say. Is it ever okay to cut the interview short? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Other questions I’m answering there…

A reader writes: I don’t like to do birthday stuff for my birthday. No, not even that. Or that. Or that. Or … It’s got nothing to do with the dreaded Getting Older; in fact, I don’t really know why. I just don’t want to. When my coworker went around collecting people’s birthdays, I gave mine to her, but specified that I didn’t want to have it celebrated. I was very clear about this. It wasn’t “Oh, you don’t need to make a fuss about me” or anything similarly wishy-washy. I said that I didn’t want anything to be done about it. For a couple of years this was fine, but then we got a new coworker, Pollyanna. One of our other coworkers, Kelly, also didn’t want to do birthd…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told a coworker I’m full of myself I was hired from outside the organization two months ago to turn a lagging department around. My boss, the CEO, was hired from outside about eight months ago for the same reason. This week my peer told me, “I told Boss that he knocked it out of the park hiring you. He said ‘Yep, and she really sings her praises, too.’” I’m sooo embarrassed. I had no idea that I’d made any comments that came across that way, let alone enough to be a trend. My confidence is badly shaken. I have been critical to my boss about many things I have found going on in my division, and then I have ou…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Sister Wife, by Christine Brown Woolley. I don’t know what made me pick this up but once I did, I couldn’t put it down. Written by one of the (former!) three sister wives from TLC’s reality show about a polygamous marriage, it’s absolutely fascinating. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – September 20-21, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article