Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I found weird “detox” propaganda in the office kitchen I work at a small nonprofit of under 30 employees and we share one small kitchen. Articles relevant to our field or other interesting items are often left in the center of the table for us to read. I walked into the kitchen the other day and found a seven-page printout about “superhuman brain shakes.” I looked into the group that published it and the doctor behind it, and what I found did not sit well with me. The guy talks about “detoxification” and peddles supplements, all while vilifying pre…

A reader writes: I’m a woman working in a male-dominated profession. I do most of the planning and organizing for company events—not by choice or job description, but because I’m told I’m such a good planner. While I’m planning something, I’m rarely offered help. However, right before the event, I’m often asked by male coworkers if they can do anything or if I need anything. “Are we all good for Thursday? Can I do anything?” Of course, it’s way too late for them to do anything, and they know that. Is this weaponized incompetence? Or what is it? Whatever it is, it’s incredibly annoying, and I’d love to come up with a comeback that shows I’m onto them. You’re focusing o…

A reader writes: I run outbound marketing for a tech startup serving founders and salespeople. We often send promotional/announcement emails from my email address to subscribers who have opted in to receive our updates. We recently sent a very harmless and innocuous announcement message, to which I received the following reply: “Why the FUCK am I getting this email” The message was from a personal Gmail account and included the sender’s cell phone number. A quick LinkedIn search revealed that the sender is employed at a major financial services firm as a personal wealth advisor (investment manager) for high net worth individuals. What he doesn’t know is, I’m a client …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I have to co-manage with my husband My husband and I work for the same organization and live in a VERY small tourist town in the U.S. (~600 year-round residents and we live about an hour from a Wal-Mart or big box store). Our organization receives (received) a lot of federal funding. Most of that funding has been cut so we’re looking at downsizing and layoffs. Right now, my husband and I are managers in related but separate departments (think: youth outreach vs. adult education). His department is him and another full-time manager who supervise three full-timers and some seasonal employees, and my department has sligh…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I have a new employee (Joe) who joined us three months ago in a manager role that needs to collaborate with and support other team’s workflows. His 90-day review is scheduled to be held in a couple of weeks. I have received feedback from my manager that Joe has been stepping on a couple of our colleagues’ toes and is being a little too aggressive, veering into unprofessional territory with them. The two people reporting concerns are on a team that Joe needs to work very closely with and have a good relationship with to be successful in his role. One is a peer to him and another is a …

A reader writes: I started at my company about five years ago after being laid off from my previous company due to Covid. Once I started here, I was shocked to discover that one of my old friends (Susan) who I was very close to in college (which I had graduated from 10 years prior) worked at the same company in a different building on the company’s campus. I reached out to her briefly on Teams just to say, “Oh wow, I had no idea you worked here. If you’re ever near my building, pop by and say hey and maybe we could grab a coffee.” She responded warmly and we had one brief conversation in my office, and that was the last time I saw her for months. We were in different de…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. A coworker lent me a book four years ago and I still haven’t returned it This feels very low-stakes, but it’s something that hovers at the back of my mind. About four years ago, a coworker and I were talking about books we were reading, and she gushed about a great one she’d just finished. The next day, she brought a copy of the book to the office and gave it to me, suggesting I should read it. Since then, I’ve moved twice, I still have the book, and I still haven’t read it. I am avoiding returning it because I’m embarrassed that I haven’t read it (I’m a big reader, but I very much read by mood, and this book is outsi…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I inherited a team from a terrible manager Thanks to your help, I have a shiny new job. I’ve inherited a team where the last manager, Jane, was a true chaos agent. I’m getting stories of her ignoring staff, not communicating on projects or workload at all, putting the blame on staff to senior manager when projects didn’t happen, drinking too much at work events, inappropriate behavior. All her behavior went unchecked for some years until she was suddenly let go. The team are generally exhausted. There is some anger that they escalated complaints about Jane and nothing was done (until it was). At least one openly says …

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I left work because no one would let me in I (19-year-old female) recently ghosted my job at McDonalds because my coworkers would lock me out at 5 in the morning. Why? I’m not completely sure, I’m guessing it was to keep the customers out but again, I’m not completely sure. All I know is that Every. Single. Time. they scheduled me to work at 5am, I would always be locked out the building and it would always take me roughly 10-25 minutes to get in the building without breaking the door down, blowing up the phone, or climbing through the drive-through window. Going to the drive-through didn’t help either because nobody i…

If you’re the boss, finding the right gifts for your employees can be fraught with questions: How much do you spend? Should you spend the same amount of money on each person? And if you don’t know someone well, how do you make sure they like the gift while still keeping it professional? For the record: managers don’t have to give their staff members gifts, but it’s a nice gesture if you want to do it, and in some offices it’s expected. (Although here is your obligatory reminder that because of the power dynamics involved, gifts at work should flow down, not up. Managers should never expect or encourage gifts from employees.) A while back, New York Magazine asked me to p…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I manage a married couple, and it’s causing problems I manage a married couple. I hired one of them first, and a few years later the spouse finished a degree that gave them the right expertise to also join my team. They don’t supervise each other or make any promotion or budget decisions about each other. At first things were good, but I’ve been noticing small things that are now bigger things in their communication patterns that need to be addressed. They are becoming really insular, not asking anyone for help except the other one, and not communicating issues or concerns outside the two of them, and recently they sh…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I supervise a team of seven, split between two offices. Sally is an employee in her early 20s working in the opposite office as myself. Sally is a slob. This is not typical workplace clutter. She leaves work and personal items all over the office — moldy food containers, piles of work items, boxes, etc. Her messes have taken up to an hour to clean up. Her own office is such a mess that she spreads her work out to all of the common areas in the office, and then leaves the common areas a mess. She has not responded to typical feedback or formal warnings, and the issue has been escalate…

A reader writes: I’m managing a difficult employee, “Felix.” Felix has been at my company for five years now. He also happens to be the CEO’s nephew. His performance was never good, but it’s gotten steadily worse. His work frequently has mistakes, he is unreachable for large stretches of the day, and he pushes back on any feedback I give him. At one point, he yelled in my face when I pointed out a repeated problem with his work, saying that he “didn’t respect” my feedback. I’ve documented these issues extensively. I’ve talked to HR repeatedly about putting him on a PIP or even terminating him outright. They say that Felix is unhappy and actively job-searching and that …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I took over as the director of my former team about a year ago. I inherited an ongoing HR issue between one of my direct reports (Tammy) and her direct report (Beth). Beth hates Tammy. Beth had applied for the promotion to Tammy’s position when it was last open but my predecessor hired Tammy from the outside, and Beth had strong feelings about being passed over. Tammy was not the best hire; she is not a strong manager. But we are a government agency, and while Tammy isn’t my best employee, she is not so bad that there would be any chance I could fire her. I have worked on coaching her…

A reader writes: I need to partner with a team whose manager rejected me for a job, and I’m struggling to have a positive attitude. A year ago, I applied to an internal role for which I met 90% of the criteria on the nose. It was a team doing the same work as I did but in another part of the company, and the gap in qualifications was akin to having experience grooming llamas but not alpacas – it’s highly transferrable. I have great performance reviews, scoring the elusive 5/5, and I had completed an internal leadership program that is supposed to highlight me as a candidate for internal roles. I didn’t expect to be handed the role but I did think I was a strong internal…

A reader writes: I started my job in 2023 and became good friends with Ellie. We have similar roles, but different divisions, so rarely overlapped. We bonded over being unhappy in our roles and having a shared male “mentor,” who turned out to be quite the creep (he ended up leaving before we did). We both ultimately made plans to leave that job, she a little before me. During our friendship, I did sometimes notice she could be a bit immature (framing everything in terms of “high-school cliques”) which I just sort of laughed off/ignored. I also got the sense she was pushing me to leave my job, less so because it was good for me, but because she wanted our office to “take…

A reader writes: I was on a Zoom call today with my direct report and an intern. I momentarily took off my headphones to blow my nose and put myself on mute. However, through the headphones I heard my direct report say to the intern, “He’s so clueless!” I am struggling with the best way to respond. Not only is this unprofessional behavior, but I have spent a lot of time training the direct report and have praised her to the higher-ups, as well as recently encouraged the leadership team to give her greater responsibility. So it feels a bit as a betrayal as well. She’s a millennial and I’m the youngest of the boomers if that matters, which it shouldn’t. What would be the…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader shares this story: I recently received what I believe to be a scam job offer. It seemed too good to be true, and I should have realized it was a scam, especially since I don’t remember applying for the position at the company that supposedly offered it to me. The most obvious red flag was that it seemed too good to be true, and the text in the email was clearly copied and pasted from a template. Still, in the excitement of the moment, I almost fell for it. Here’s how it went down: First email: A seemingly legitimate email from someone within the organization asked me to reply “yes” if I was…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m a volunteer for an after-school program for high schoolers interested in my profession (similar to, say, a robotics team). I’m a woman in my mid-20s, and one of the kids is a 16-year-old boy we’ll call Marvin. Marvin is a very bright and hardworking kid who excels academically (AP classes, honor society) and works at a fast food place. He is also what some would call a “nerdy outcast” and only has a few acquaintances his own age. He gets along much better with teachers than other students, and I’m no exception. I was exactly like him when I was his age and remembered the deep rela…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. I saw my coworker buying a beer during work hours I saw a coworker at the pharmacy near our office this morning (9:45 a.m.) buying a 40-ounce can of beer. I was confused at first and I couldn’t figure out what to make out of it, but then I also remembered that this coworker always falls asleep in meetings. I wasn’t sure if I should have approached her (I didn’t want her to think I’m being nosy). I do not want to jump to conclusions because I also thought she might have bought the beer for someone else (i.e., a homeless person in NYC or whatever). …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I saw my coworker’s pregnancy announcement on TikTok I was just scrolling TikTok, and a video from “someone you may know” popped up. It is a coworker of mine, whose number is in my phone because we sit near each other and sometimes need to coordinate watering plants and such. It turns out she’s a somewhat well-known content creator in a pretty wholesome and innocuous genre. The video I landed on was especially well liked, because she used it to announce her pregnancy. I’m very happy for her and would like to congratulate her! However, I don’t know if she would think it’s weird that I watched her video. I’m a man who s…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: Today, during a screensharing session with my new employee, Barb, I saw something inappropriate on her screen and did not speak up. I was so dumbfounded that I just quickly wrapped up our call. I’m almost sure I saw her chat session with a coworker with explicit reference to private body parts. Both the screenshare software and chat software are part of the same company-provided system; it’s typically used for training and collaboration. Should I say anything to Barb? Or try to forget I ever saw anything? Since my view of the chat window happened very quickly, and I have no “proof,” …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. If I opt out of team-building activities, I still have to work on those days I work for a small nonprofit with about 25 employees. Recently, we have begun “employee engagement” activities, like visiting local attractions. These activities take place during work hours. We are not forced to participate, but if we choose not to, then we are expected to work while those who do want to participate are basically paid to hang out at a local attraction, restaurant, etc. I don’t enjoy these kinds of group activities, but I’m not trying to keep anyone from g…

A reader writes: I recently realized that one of the managers who reports to me, Blake, uses abusive language with his employees. Blake’s employee fear that if he knows they have reported this to me, it will create a further problem for them. I need help on how to give feedback to Blake without giving him the feeling that I came to know this from his team members. I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Other questions I’m answering there today include: Interviewing with the team I’…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. I talked to Vulture about what the TV show Severance reveals about workplace life — including the inauthenticity of corporate life, how the Overtime Contingency exists in real life, the weirdness of workplace perks, and how work can degrade your spirit. View the full article