Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – September 19, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. We’re supposed to do enneagrams at a company retreat I work at an organization with 100+ employees. We gather periodically for company-wide retreats. We have done this in the past with various professional learning opportunities. This time we were asked to fill out an enneagram survey that would be facilitated in conversation about “what truly drives you and how to apply that to your job.” I find it to be mumbo jumbo and about as scientific as astrology. I took the quiz and found myself increasingly uncomfortable with the questions and rigor of the survey. How can I share this with management? How can they create alte…

A reader writes: For the bulk of my working life, I’ve been a very low-level lawyer in Washington, D.C. who managed to scratch my way into a few government contracts with the Department of Justice over the years. This definitely wasn’t my dream (poetry is … sigh), but things worked out this way and mostly it’s been okay. After using your book (which was great), I was eventually hired full-time by another agency last December, but DOGE killed my position very shortly afterwards before I even finished onboarding, and since then I’ve been scrambling, since the whole legal ecosystem in D.C. is a mess and jobs have vanished. Recently, a couple positions at DOJ were advertis…

Employment lawyer Robin Shea published a piece at legal analysis site JD Supra about my recent Slate column on mandatory “fun” at work — and she delved into the legal implications for employers. She points out that pressure to participate in things like escape rooms, sports, and yoga can give rise to legal issues around disability, pregnancy, age, and religion, as well as workers comp claims and wage and hour claims, and she offers advice to employers. It’s an interesting read. The post can team-building get you sued? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: For various but mostly economic reasons, my spouse and I are not planning on having children. We both work in specialized fields that do not allow remote work, in roles that are required to be full-time. The best employment opportunities for both of us mean we’re locked into living in a high-cost-of-living area, and we rely on our full combined income to pay rent, bills, and student loans. This was our choice even before the current economic chaos. My darling mother cannot fathom this decision. Her suggestions for ways to “make it work” with a baby have ranged from: “Take the baby into the office with you” t…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me I’m being annoying I’m in my mid-20s and work in a pretty casual office. We provide customer support for ticket buyers. I was promoted to membership/subscription package supervisor about six months ago. My boss oscillates between praising my attention to detail and criticizing me for second-guessing her. Yesterday I spoke up in a meeting with her and two other employees to give more detail on something. Her tone shifted and she said that I was being really annoying that day, but I brushed it off at the time. The next day, when I went to ask her a clarifying question about a credit card dispute, she sa…

A reader writes: Earlier this month in Ohio, a pair of Republican lawmakers introduced a bill to create a website with lists of people who’ve no showed for interviews. I’ve included a link to Ohio’s Statehouse News Bureau’s reporting information — because truly when I first heard about it, I thought for sure the person was doing a bit. It seems to be specially focused on those receiving unemployment benefits, but it seems it could quickly turn into including everyone. I’m curious about your thoughts in general, but also in application. How on earth could they validate that the person no showed, and what if the person who entered the name into the database is an ex or d…

A reader writes: A few years ago, I did some logo work for a friend of a professional contact. Every few months since then, this guy has asked for tweaks to the design. Sometimes I charge him and sometimes, if the tweak is small, I do it quickly and send it along. However, it has been about three years since I did the original work, and I’ve moved on from doing graphic design work and no longer have access to design software and have no desire to continue to do design work. I sent him all the files I had, so he can potentially hire someone else. I explained that I no longer have the programs to update them. But he continues to reach out to me. Today he said he can pay f…

A reader writes: I work in a company with a lot of young employees and a completely optional hybrid working policy. We have an office, but they no longer enforce any in-office mandates. I am basically a middle manager, and there’s no consistent presence of senior leadership in person. The people who come into the office the most are a cohort of junior-level employees right out of college who seem to enjoy the camaraderie of the in-office life. Of this cohort, last week there was one worker in her early 20’s who wore a skirt so short that I could see her butt cheeks. It was shocking, and I almost wondered if her skirt was folded up or if she didn’t realize. It didn’t get…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is it OK to let my staff fail? My boss intimidates a lot of my staff. I’ve worked on more exposure, getting to the root of the issues, preparing for meetings, common questions, etc. A lot of it is that the boss knows her stuff, and you can’t BS her. My star performers work great with her, with a high level of mutual respect. I’m about to go on leave for an extended period of time. I’m C suite level, with a division of a couple hundred under me. While I’m out, stuff will be reported directly to her. Honestly, more people working directly with her will really help them become more comfortable with her. We’ve got a regu…

Earlier this month, we talked about corporate gifts that went terribly wrong. Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared (and 15 more about coming next week — apparently there are a lot of bad company gifts out there). 1. The playing cards One Christmas, we were all handed packs of playing cards with the company logo … not great but not terrible. Everyone can use a deck of cards right? The we opened them. Instead of the normal hearts/spades/numbers etc., the cards had our “company values” printed on them. They were custom made for a special game, like Go Fish. You were supposed to build “sets” of matching values. Like “Go Fish,” you were supposed to ask, for example…

A reader writes: I recently relocated to another state and began looking for a job. Throughout the course of my search, I have come across an interesting and unusual (to me) phenomenon: ghosting. I have been ghosted by pre-screeners, HR directors, hiring managers, and a VP. In each case I have sent follow-up emails to express my continued interest in the position and … crickets. In one interview, the HR director literally said, “I will call you next week,” “I won’t ghost you,” and, “I don’t intend to ghost you, I promise.” I had not mentioned anything to her during our interview. And yes, she ghosted me. I sent a follow-up email and, no, I did not hear anything back fro…

A reader writes: I am a supervisor for a small-ish organization with very few male employees. “Amy” started working here in January, but does not report to me. Earlier this week she asked if she could talk to me, and told me that one of the men in her department was making her very uncomfortable. Since she started working here, “Ben” makes comments to her about how beautiful she is, saying things like, “I’m sorry for staring at you. You’re just so beautiful.” She said she’s attempted to make small talk with him in the hopes that as he got to know her, he would talk to her about other things. Apparently things escalated two nights ago as everyone was leaving work. Ben to…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I want to opt out of my company’s “wellness” messages My company regularly pushes out “wellness” content to all employees — things like tips on diet, exercise, mental health, and mindfulness. The problem is that we don’t have the option to opt out, and I personally find a lot of the content intrusive or irrelevant. For example, I’ve received messages about topics that touch on sensitive health issues I’d rather not have my employer involved in. I don’t want to seem ungrateful or negative since I know the intention is to promote wellness, but I really dislike having this material pushed on me without a choice. I’ve tri…

A reader writes: Should I give my coworker a heads up that everyone in our office sees her (Beth) and another of our coworkers (Sean) flirting and thinks they’re sleeping together? I’ve personally seen them chit chat and act all giggly together, as well as “check each other out,” like look each other up and down. Sean is twice the age of Beth, but Beth is still almost middle-aged. I think other people in the office are gossiping hard and, while I’m not 100% certain there’s anything going on (they’re both married), I heard that our director said something to Sean so now they don’t stop by and chat as often. Should I tell Beth how this friendship with Sean is coming off …

A reader writes: I inherited an entry-level administrative assistant, Mary, who has been failing to make deadlines and repeating preventable mistakes, and who has major issues with focusing at work. She tangled with her last manager because she felt attacked when asked to explain missed deadlines and now has been passed off to me. My team typically works 9-5, eats breakfast before we start work, and typically takes an hour or less for lunch breaks. We don’t have a break room, so most of us eat lunch at our desks. One large source of distraction for Mary is that she will spend up to four hours a day eating, and when she is eating her work trickles to a halt. It is not u…

A reader writes: This is a bizarre situation that happened years ago and I always wonder how I and my boss should have handled it. I don’t drink alcohol for personal reasons. My boss, Walter, was aware of this — in my field, happy hours with clients and coworkers are common, and I’d usually attend and have a soda but made clear to Walter early on that I don’t drink. Relevant information: I have some moral qualms with it personally — not judging what anyone else partakes in, but it’s not something I have an interest in consuming myself. I have known a lot of alcoholics, and while my own abstinence from alcohol isn’t religious, I do think there are some similarities to th…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I didn’t expect my employee to take off so much time after a family death My only direct report, Jessy, recently had an unexpected death in her spouse’s family. This has taken a huge toll on both of them, especially due to its sudden nature. Jessy let me know a couple of days after the passing. I checked her PTO balances (which are generous in our company), let her know how much time she could take, and encouraged her to take the time she needed. I expected this would be two or three days at the most. Instead, Jessy was off three days last week and three and a half this week. This has really put me in a bind and left…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Sisters of Fortune, by Esther Chehebar, who’s been called “a Jewish Jane Austen.” Three sisters in the insular Syrian Jewish community in Brooklyn try to figure out their relationships to men and to each other, as one begins to question her engagement. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – September 13-14, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – September 12, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My client “befriended” me and now isn’t paying for my work I am a self-employed home manager. I gained a new client via referral a few months ago. She is very nice and friendly, and I am a friendly “relationship building” type of professional. This has served me well in getting and keeping clients and in sales previously. I admit, I do struggle with crossing the line — oversharing too much personal info, experiences, etc. — and with this particular client, it has backfired. After working with her for a few weeks, I offered to help with one task at no charge to help her out during a very difficult time in her personal …

A reader writes: I’m in the middle of a pretty bleak job search, involving lots of form rejection emails. The first few times I got one, I wrote back a succinct note to the effect of “thank you for letting me know” before realizing how depressing this would be for all of the rejections that would soon start rolling in. I figure most places don’t care, so I’ve stopped responding to those rejections, but I’m wondering: is it worth ever sending something polite but more personal, hoping that maybe they’d change their mind, or am I living in the job-search equivalent of a 90’s rom-com? “Gosh, we usually get crazy people who yell at us, but this person is so nice and that go…

A reader writes: I interviewed a student today who is interested in doing an internship at my organization. I love working with interns so I was happy to meet with him (virtually), but I am wondering if my expectations are off in terms of how a student interviews. He was late, his wifi was bad, the background was messy (dorm room with flags hung on the wall), he was wearing a hoodie and ear buds, and he didn’t have any questions for me. He seems smart and he has some interesting and relevant experience, but I know that’s not how I would have shown up to an interview, even at his age. Are my expectations too high? Is it unreasonable to expect that programs that require …

In response to the letter earlier this week about a company that announced it would no longer clean out office fridges, we talked about how cuts that save only minor amounts of money can be a harbinger of more significant problems to come. Today, let’s talk about what other signs of financial trouble you’ve seen at work — the early signs that foretold something worse. Some examples shared in the comments: “This was back in the financial crisis of 2008. One morning we get a company wide email with the subject line ‘Milk.’ Went on to say that we since we had been spending so much money on it, the company would no longer provide milk for coffee/cereal (they kept the non-da…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. No one in my company will give direct feedback I joined my current firm almost two years ago. It was an industry switch post-masters degree. The firm is well-regarded, albeit fast-paced and challenging. After joining, I learned that they have a truly bizarre approach to feedback: you don’t give feedback to people directly, you tell their manager. About six months in, someone went to my manager to say they felt I was not as communicative about a deliverable as they wanted. She never said anything to me when I was working on the deliverable, just took the deliverable when I handed it off (on time), said it looked good, …