Performance Tracking and Feedback

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Sisters Weiss, by Naomi Ragen. The daughter of a strict ultra-Orthodox Jewish family rebels against the expectations of her parents and community, to mixed results. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – October 11-12, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 10, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My abusive former boss is my new editor A beloved editor at my job left in July. This week, their replacement started — and it is Jane, my abusive former boss from five years ago. Needless to say, I was extremely taken aback (and grateful I was working from home). I have decided to just wait it out and document anything bad that happens should it happen (as you pointed out in another post that I read yesterday, five years is a long time and maybe they changed). Jane won’t be my boss but can assign work to me. But I don’t know how to talk to my coworkers about it when they ask about us working together before. I don’t…

A reader writes: I have a pretty low-stakes question but it’s been on my mind a lot lately: is it tacky to bring branded items from your old job to your new job? For context: I used to work for a big tech company, and I acquired a lot of swag over my tenure: jackets, mugs, travel cups, etc. At my old role, my colleagues and I would use branded items from competitors and no one batted an eye; lots of them would be free items from conferences and similar events, and hey, sometimes that branded travel mug from our competition is just REALLY nice. But I’ve switched to a more conservative industry (law) and I’m wondering if it would be weird to bring branded stuff from my o…

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose coworkers were joking that she was pregnant when she wasn’t — including having a local radio host congratulate her on her “pregnancy”? Here’s the update. I was reading AAM as I do every afternoon when one of the recommended posts catapulted me back into my past. I’m the reader who wrote to you about six years ago about my co-workers who wrote into a local radio station to pretending I was pregnant as a “prank.” I’ve been meaning to share an update for a while now, and this felt like a sign In th…

Let’s discuss chaos — or just mildly embarrassing / funny / off-key things — that happened when you were eating in a restaurant for work. Some stories that have been shared here in the past: I was in my mid-twenties traveling to a conference with my fifty-something boss. He could be odd and a bit awkward but never creepy or inappropriate. We were having dinner at the hotel restaurant when approached by a violin player obviously offering romantic musical accompaniment. I politely declined but my boss excitedly requested a specific piece. I then had to sit there awkwardly for several minutes while the violin player played his piece circling around us as if he was enhancin…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. When your coworker is your Uber driver This happened to a coworker, not me, but now I’m paranoid it will. She told me that over the weekend she and her roommate got in an Uber to get to a bar, and the driver was our other coworker. I have nothing against side hustles/second jobs (I work one myself, as a bartender at a theater), but of all the people we work with (we’re standard office workers at a large employer in our city) I would not have expected this specific person to take up Uber driving for extra cash. So, WWYD? My coworker said she was pretty silent the entire time but did acknowledge/greet our coworker/drive…

A reader writes: I work at a government agency (not in the U.S.) and it’s a good job. It’s a relaxed environment that definitely puts people’s safety and well-being first. However, and I never thought I’d be saying this, I think it might be too much of a good thing. People spend all day chewing on their fingernails and then touching everything (we are moving to a hot-desk only workspace). We’ve got a few people who are constantly coughing or throat-clearing, and typing/clicking so forcefully that the desk shakes. The person who sits near me arrives late almost everyday, having come from the gym, and simply changes into work clothes without showering, then spends half…

A reader writes: I have managed someone, let’s call her Rachel, for over a year and a half. The majority of the experience has been negative — she’s rude, feeds on drama, and produces low-quality work. I’ve had several discussions with her on improving her performance. After a lot of painful experiences, she resigned while I was on vacation. She only gave a week’s notice, and since I’m on vacation we will only have two days overlap. I know as a manager I have the responsibility to be professional and courteous, but I can’t stomach the idea that we even have to interact at all on those two final days. I have even contemplated rescheduling our team meeting to the day afte…

A reader writes: My company is technically hybrid, but my department is almost exclusively work from home, which has suited me. This week, we’d been asked whether or not we’ll be attending an all-hands in person or on Zoom and I’d been really struggling with the decision. I like my coworkers, but I invariably get sick when I do in-person stuff and spent half of September audibly sick from the last in-person department meeting I attended. If I went, I planned to mask. The meeting was listed as being from 9 am – 1 pm and lunch is provided, but masking only works if you stay masked. That means I can’t eat or drink unless I’m outside and there’s no outdoor space at this loc…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. HR says I can’t use sick leave for a family emergency Recently, “life happened” and I took a day off from work because I needed to take care of some things and I wasn’t feeling mentally well. I emailed work in the morning and said that a family emergency came up so I needed to take a sick day. That seemed like the most honest description of what was happening at the time without giving too much detail. When I returned to work the next day, I submitted for sick leave. HR emailed me asking for details, saying that sick leave is provided for employees’ illness or injury, and that for other situations we need to use PTO. …

A reader writes: I have worked in the evolving field of IT all of my four-decade career. Most of my jobs have been exempt from overtime, while my last few tech support / help desk positions have been non-exempt. I’ve always been a slower (and I think, more thorough) worker who needs more time to get my work done and who has no problem working late, even most evenings, to get the job done. This has been fine in my exempt positions, as I’ve had freedom to work as many hours as I want / need, and supervisors have mostly been quite pleased with my work. In my first couple of non-exempt roles, I would still work longer hours but leave the hours beyond 40 off of my time sheet…

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Employee gets special privileges because she’s dating an NBA player I didn’t have time to go to my manager regarding your advice because days after your response was posted, Cersei’s boyfriend broke up with her. As a side note, she lived with him in his very nice house. So I imagine it was a very painful breakup and was further complicated by the logistics of having to move out. Morale has slightly lifted but not by much because of the anticipation that special treatment for Cersei will manifest in a different way. It certainly leaves a bad taste in your mouth to know that her summer WFH status stopped because her rel…

A reader writes: I work in an industry notorious for poor work-life balance. Our company has an unlimited PTO policy, with most people on the team taking about 15-20 days, usually no more than five straight days at a time. (So one week off per quarter, just about) I have a team member who has asked for feedback. She wants to grow and be assigned more high-profile, visible projects. The quality of her work is average to slightly above average, so there’s room for growth there. On top of this, the main thing I believe is preventing her from achieving these goals is that people perceive her to be on vacation all the time. I’d say she’ll end up taking around 30 days (six w…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employee dropped the ball on something major while I was away I am the executive director of a small charity. I had the opportunity to support my mom on a three-week holiday in Europe, all expenses paid. My organization had six months notice and I usually end the year not using any vacation time. So no questions or concerns about being away. I brought all the tools to stay in touch with the team. Unfortunately my go-to staffer who was slated to take on three major fundraising events during that time got sick the first week and had to cancel our participation in two of the three events. I’m totally gutted and frust…

A reader writes: I moved to a new state a year ago and, in the effort to find community, I joined a grassroots nonprofit as a volunteer coordinator (as a volunteer, not for my job). Since I’ve joined, we’ve had transparency issues with the board. Every few months, someone would either join or drop off the board, and volunteers wouldn’t hear about it until a week or two after the fact. We also never had the organization’s bylaws or constitution available to volunteers, and no matter how many of us explained why we needed this, select board members would always give excuses as to why we couldn’t. At one point, they finally posted them, but when the website went through a …

A reader writes: You’ve talked about how inappropriate it is for employers to ask candidates about their salary expectations without giving out any info on salary themselves. I became a small business owner without having received training in that aspect of things, but learned early on when I am hiring to always ask the candidate their salary expectations before giving any information out about the range I am willing to offer. Why? Firstly, the money comes directly from our pockets and frankly if we can get away with paying $20/hour instead of $22/hour, why wouldn’t we? It also gives us room for raises, bonuses, etc. without taking too much of a financial hit. You alway…

A reader writes: I am in an unusual position at work and I wondered what your point of view on this would be. For context on this: I work remotely and almost never see my coworkers in person. If I did, this situation would be a lot sillier than it already is. I work for a close-knit, very interdependent team in a small company. I first told my manager I was pregnant once I finished my first trimester, so that I’d get permission to attend appointments. He asked me not to tell my coworkers until he and my grandparent manager had figured out a plan for my absence. Assuming it wouldn’t be long, I was happy to wait. But it is now less than two months until my maternity lea…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want my team to offer solutions to a department that’s been messing up I work in compliance. Right now I’m in a situation where an aspect of our programs isn’t being followed because the area is being under-resourced. This was noticed by an outside authority. My team communicates the requirements and sets up the tools to be used to follow them, but it’s not my responsibility and it’s outside my chain of command to force the responsible department to comply. I also try not to bring my frustrations with the responsible department to my team so they can continue to work on good terms with this department. We’ll h…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Great Big Beautiful Life, by Emily Henry. Two very different writers — one an outgoing celebrity journalist and one a Pulitzer-Prize-winning curmudgeon — compete to write the biography of a once-famous tabloid princess who long ago dropped out of sight. Not my favorite Emily Henry, but everything she writes is so entertaining that it’s still worth recommending. She’s an ideal author for when you want fluff that’s still smart and well-written. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a co…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 3, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Moving people to a new team just so they can be fired This got relayed to me from a coworker who is in a supervisory role, Dorothy. She has a direct report who she is working on terminating, as this individual has not been meeting the basic requirements of the job, including the essential functions. They were already given an extended probation and continue to not meet the requirements of the role. There’s a whole backstory to it, but a new development has occurred that seems really suspect. Dorothy was told by her supervisor, Sophia, that once this person is out, they will transfer another employee to Dorothy’s team …

A reader writes: I’ve been in the job market over the last few months for executive roles and have been genuinely surprised by how disorganized and last-minute some hiring processes are. Is it standard and reasonable to expect candidates to be available within 24-48 hours for half- or full-day interviews, locally or even with travel? If candidates can’t drop everything within a day, is it reasonable for them to ask for alternative times, or was that their shot and it’s over? Another way to look at this: if you could give advice to talent teams on managing executive recruitment processes in terms of scheduling, advanced notice, or travel for candidates (e.g., how far in …

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. We’re supposed to do enneagrams at a company retreat I spoke to a few colleagues about the enneagram activity, and many agreed and felt this was a strange work activity. I shared with my boss and those in charge of the retreat, and they heard some other feedback as well. While the activity still happened, it seemed some steps were taken to water down or soften how it was presented to minimize the weight of the activity. Overall it was not too bad, and was amusing to talk about the “types” so long as we were not talking about individuals or the more personal elements. I have a feeling they will gather more feedback bef…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I currently work in the private sector, but lately I’ve been feeling dissatisfied with the thought of spending my whole career working just to increase shareholder value. My employer and many other companies in my field have demonstrated zero loyalty or investment in employees, with multiple rounds of layoffs and limited-to-no raises or professional development opportunities. The one good thing about my job is that the benefits and work-life balance are pretty good. Recently, I’ve applied for a few project-based jobs for nonprofits using my existing skillset. These positions would work on specific, mission-b…