Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I refuse to pray with my religious client? I am a militantly non-religious person and have worked with a religion-based nonprofit as a consultant for a couple of years now. I am somewhat new to the workforce, and this is my first consulting gig. They have always asked me to pray with them and for them at the beginning and end of every meeting. Because I really needed the work, I went along with this, and they have the idea that I support what they do and follow their beliefs. However, as time passes, it is becoming harder and harder for me to p…

A reader writes: My generally good manager recently gave me a dressing-down over a statement I made in a meeting. During the ensuing discussion, it came out that she relies on body language and facial expressions to figure out what people are “really thinking.” I knew that she does something like that, because every time she assigns me a task, she will keep explaining why it’s necessary well after I’ve agreed, so now I fake enthusiasm. Similarly, I proactively explain even the tiniest twinge of hesitation I think might have made its way to my facial expression, because she’s going to ask me about it anyway and then refuse to take “no concerns” for an answer. However, de…

Last week we talked about ridiculous examples of micromanagement, and here are 16 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The insufficiently festive cookies My boss decided we all should make cookies and do a cookie swap for Christmas. The cookies needed to be sufficiently festive and colorful, however. She brought in a cookbook with pictures of cookies on the front to show types would pass muster. She specifically pointed out some powdered sugar covered chocolate cookies as being not colorful, but they would be allowed because a beloved relative of hers used to make them during the holidays. I happened to like those cookies and they were easy to make, so I brought them.…

A reader writes: I recently hired a new administrative employee. His job is to answer phones, greet guests, and complete various tasks I assign to him. His customer service skills are strong, but his attention to detail is very weak. I have given a lot of feedback and training, but he continues to make basic mistakes and misses almost every deadline I give him. But he is constantly telling me how great of a job he’s doing. He routinely tells me things like, “You are going to be so happy when I show you what I’ve done for you!” or “You are going to love me, I am making your life so much easier!” and then hands me a report that I have to spend a half hour correcting. Yest…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker who (probably) has a crush keeps hanging out at my desk I was hoping I could get your advice on dealing with a coworker who won’t leave me alone (“Greg”) and is making me increasingly uncomfortable. I’m a woman in my 20s and Greg is a decade older than me. He asked me out a few months ago and I rejected him, and he hasn’t asked me out since. We are under the same organization and our work overlaps somewhat. Greg works in another building and frequently comes over to mine. While he says he has meetings in my building, he will often come to my desk and sit next to me to chat. He starts awkward, banal conversati…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coaching a female employee to apologize less, as a man I’ve been thinking about your response to “my employee apologizes all the time,” specifically: “I think from the name on your email that you’re a woman, so one way to address it is to point out that women in particular tend to overapologize and that it can make them seem less confident and less authoritative than men” I’m a male manager in a field that’s pretty welcoming to women, thankfully, so throughout my career, my teams have always had significantly more women than men. I’ve wrestled with how to address the above (which I’ve seen firsthand), and also the oth…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My friend hired me but isn’t paying me what we agreed A friend of mine recently started a business, and I happened to be the perfect candidate for the job because it’s a very specific niche. I was working for someone else, and she asked me to work for her. I would be getting paid the same amount and working the same hours, so I agreed to work for her. Unfortunately, she hasn’t been holding up her end of the deal with pay, and the hours are way different than we initially discussed. The first few months I was understanding because business started slow, but months later I’m finding that nothing is changing. I also am fi…

A reader writes: I manage someone with extreme social anxiety who seems a lot like person #1 in this column. Lee is very good at their job-specific tasks, which are largely operational and do not require much social interaction with the team or outsiders. We have established some office protocols that help support them (allowing camera-off in Zoom meetings, using Teams chat as a communication tool, etc.) However, we are a very small team and do have times when we need all hands on deck — for example, for an event for all of our clients, when I need Lee to do something like staff the registration table so other staff are free to lead parts of the event that are more rel…

A reader writes: I have a truly excellent employee on my team, “Dave.” He is bright, diligent, always volunteers for extra tasks and responsibility, and his work product is very high quality. I’m going to need to provide an annual review of Dave soon and I feel like I owe him more than “you’re doing everything perfectly, keep up the good work.” I worry that endless praise may seem disingenuous, and it might appear to Dave that I‘m not invested in coming up with ways to meaningfully coach him/help him improve. I’ll add that Dave and I were also coworkers/casual friends before I got promoted (though I think we’ve very successfully navigated into a manger/employee relation…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Know-it-all coworker talks over everyone (and is often wrong) We have a new employee, “Sam,” who thinks she knows everything. She has lots of experience in a closely related field, but has never done this specific job, nor has she worked in our region (the details of our work are location-specific.) Whenever someone speaks, Sam jumps into the conversation. It does not matter if the speaker was clearly addressing someone else. Sam talks over people, interrupts, and answers questions that were not directed toward her. When she does this, she is condescending and rude, and very confidently dispenses wrong information. Sh…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker wants to know why my boss is scheduling a meeting … and it’s to address his mistakes My coworker, Karl, is higher ranking than I am. He is actually one of the top executives, but he has been making a LOT of mistakes. The CEO, George, is aware of this and will periodically ask me for updates. Yesterday George was asking me questions about our credit card procedures. I mentioned that Karl was coding the monthly charges before he gave me the statements to pull receipts and invoices, so he could not possibly know if a particular charge was supposed to be for a certain event or charged to a certain account. We h…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about things that you thought were normal early in your career … but later learned were actually just weird things your old workplace did and which were not typical at all. Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The packed hotel rooms My very first internship was the most bizarre work experience I’ve ever had, but I didn’t know it then. My boss was personally wealthy, as in 1% wealthy. But she was super cheap at work. When we organized the nonprofit’s annual conference, we got X many rooms free for staff for however many attendees booked rooms. My boss told us that we …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is a credit for child care expenses fair to employees without kids? Recently a viral video and announcement has gone around of a company offering credits up to $3,000 a month for child care expenses. This is fantastic! However, as a child-free person I’m concerned about a benefit worth tens of thousands of dollars a year only being offered to a segment of employees who have young children. When point this out, am I the bad guy? How can a workplace support all their employees? I don’t think you’re the bad guy. I do think, though, that child care expenses are in a different category than nearly anything else — this coun…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Manager husband is cheating with a much younger employee A very dear friend of mine has recently learned that her husband/partner of 10 years has been cheating on her. They work together, in different departments but with some overlap, and everyone at work knew that they were married with children. Her husband is 31 years old and a manager, the affair partner is 20-21 and a junior staff member on his team. He has been scheduling them on late shifts together in order to facilitate the affair. He has decided to continue the relationship with the affair partner rather than pursue marriage counselling or reconciliation. M…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Candidate lied to us in their interview I was recently involved in interviews for a promotion in my department. We interviewed three internal candidates, so we were familiar with each candidate’s work. The interview team consisted the hiring manager (Fran), Fran’s boss (Tom), and me. I report to Fran, as would the newly promoted employee. One of the candidates blatantly lied about their past performance. For example, they said that they are in regular contact with an important client, but Tom knows that is not the case. Additionally, this employee’s work is lower quality than we would expect from the successful candi…

You’d like to think you can trust the people you work around, but in reality office thefts are surprisingly common. From the coworker who stole someone’s spicy food and got sick (and the epic update), to the manager who stole someone’s family heirloom, to the boss who stole an employee’s iPad, to the boss who kept stealing lunches, office thieving happens more than you’d expect. And some of the thefts are shockingly petty: • “I have a Bath and Body eucalyptus (mini) hand sanitizer next to my computer. Turns out someone has used it up, then refilled it with water so it wouldn’t look like it was used. It costs a buck.” • “I had someone steal my pyrex dish once. They dum…

Whenever a new generation ages into the work world, the sky always seems to be falling, accompanied by much hand-wringing from their elders. We were told millennials were overly entitled participation-trophy-chasers, and Gen X were disaffected slackers. In my experience, this is usually BS. Most of the complaints about any new generation at work are simply about young people. It’s about their inexperience, not their generation. But Gen Z might actually be grappling with a different set of challenges, because of both the pandemic and the move to remote work just as they’re establishing their careers. My column at Slate today explores whether there’s anything to that — and…

A reader writes: I recently accepted a new job where I will be managing a newly created team. I have been a manager before, but this new job will be a new challenge. The team I am managing has been tasked with leading a culture change in the company. The company has had many employees leave. In some cases, they left without another job lined up or took a job somewhere else with less pay or a lower title. Most gave little or no notice and left on poor terms. It’s been a problem for a long time, but things have been getting worse recently. Some former employees did agree to exit interviews but all of the ones who left over the problems had the same complaints: * Parents …

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My employee is in remote limbo and it’s impacting her work I have an employee, Jane, who moved two hours from our office during the pandemic. My manager, who has since been let go, told Jane she could work from anywhere. It was a verbal agreement never formally agreed to with HR. Since 2022, our company has became stricter about working in the office. In summer of 2023, our HR rep told Jane she had by the end of the year to come into the office four days a week or she would have to “exit” the company. Understandably, she freaked out and had difficulty focusing on her job. Unfortunately, she became ill and had to take …

Last week we talked about the smallest amount of power you’ve ever seen someone abuse, and here are 18 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The pizza revenge The office assistant asked me what pizza I wanted when she was ordering for an event. I told her specifically I liked the one they had gotten the week before and described it. She never ordered that pizza again. 2. The very secure kitchen I learned early on in a new job that ONE person other than security and the C-suite had the key to the boardroom. I also learned that somehow everyone in my department had pissed off the key holder, and I was now the designated person to bow down and request the key. One night…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. First, a housekeeping note: Comments will be turned off for a while on Friday while the site moves to a new server. They’ll be turned back on once it’s complete. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Supervisor is flirting with my wife I am a woman, 41 years old, who has been married to my wife for a year. We work together in different departments. She had a thing with one of her male supervisors before me, and he has become an issue. I’ve seen things that have made me question their relationship. In the beginning, when he found out about her and me, he began being nasty with me at wor…

A reader writes: I’m not quite a year out from graduating college. I left my first “professional” job after only eight months (due to a workload that required us working seven days a week, a manager who texted our personal cellphones at all hours and days demanding answers about work tasks, etc.) and just started my second job in a much lower-paying field about two months ago. At my first job, my manager wanted to be cc’d on everything … and I mean everything. He’d complain if he was not cc’d on the most mundane of emails, and even requested that our broader 12-person team would be included as well. This was even for things that were extremely specific to me, such as re…

A reader writes: A few years ago, I did some logo work for a friend of a professional contact. Every few months since then, this guy has asked for tweaks to the design. Sometimes I charge him and sometimes, if the tweak is small, I do it quickly and send it along. However, it has been about three years since I did the original work, and I’ve moved on from doing graphic design work and no longer have access to design software and have no desire to continue to do design work. I sent him all the files I had, so he can potentially hire someone else. I explained that I no longer have the programs to update them. But he continues to reach out to me. Today he said he can pay f…

A reader writes: I have a coworker, Fred, who once told me the best work advice an older coworker gave him was “don’t be good at a job you don’t want.” In our three years working together, Fred has really shown he’s taken this advice to heart — unfortunately, at the expense of his team and myself. He often avoids doing entire parts of his job, leaving the rest of us to pick up the slack. Fred and I report to the same boss and work in a small R&D team at a larger company that makes widgets. The job generally entails designing, optimizing, and testing new widget designs and widget-making processes. Each team member, assigned by my boss, owns one part of the widget-mak…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Do I need to rush to buy a new car for my job? I have a long-term job where I didn’t need a car until a few months ago, when I began transporting stuff for a new project about 2-3 times a week. Unfortunately, my car recently broke down beyond repair. Fortunately for me, I live in a bike-friendly area and can also easily take public transit to work. Because of where I live and personal finance goals, I do not want to buy a new car right away. But now there’s this dilemma about who is going to transport project stuff. I have asked about a courier service and really hope one can be set up soon (but sometimes things take …