Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I recently relocated to another state and began looking for a job. Throughout the course of my search, I have come across an interesting and unusual (to me) phenomenon: ghosting. I have been ghosted by pre-screeners, HR directors, hiring managers, and a VP. In each case I have sent follow-up emails to express my continued interest in the position and … crickets. In one interview, the HR director literally said, “I will call you next week,” “I won’t ghost you,” and, “I don’t intend to ghost you, I promise.” I had not mentioned anything to her during our interview. And yes, she ghosted me. I sent a follow-up email and, no, I did not hear anything back fro…

Earlier this month, we talked about corporate gifts that went terribly wrong. Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared (and 15 more about coming next week — apparently there are a lot of bad company gifts out there). 1. The playing cards One Christmas, we were all handed packs of playing cards with the company logo … not great but not terrible. Everyone can use a deck of cards right? The we opened them. Instead of the normal hearts/spades/numbers etc., the cards had our “company values” printed on them. They were custom made for a special game, like Go Fish. You were supposed to build “sets” of matching values. Like “Go Fish,” you were supposed to ask, for example…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is it OK to let my staff fail? My boss intimidates a lot of my staff. I’ve worked on more exposure, getting to the root of the issues, preparing for meetings, common questions, etc. A lot of it is that the boss knows her stuff, and you can’t BS her. My star performers work great with her, with a high level of mutual respect. I’m about to go on leave for an extended period of time. I’m C suite level, with a division of a couple hundred under me. While I’m out, stuff will be reported directly to her. Honestly, more people working directly with her will really help them become more comfortable with her. We’ve got a regu…

A reader writes: I work in a company with a lot of young employees and a completely optional hybrid working policy. We have an office, but they no longer enforce any in-office mandates. I am basically a middle manager, and there’s no consistent presence of senior leadership in person. The people who come into the office the most are a cohort of junior-level employees right out of college who seem to enjoy the camaraderie of the in-office life. Of this cohort, last week there was one worker in her early 20’s who wore a skirt so short that I could see her butt cheeks. It was shocking, and I almost wondered if her skirt was folded up or if she didn’t realize. It didn’t get…

A reader writes: A few years ago, I did some logo work for a friend of a professional contact. Every few months since then, this guy has asked for tweaks to the design. Sometimes I charge him and sometimes, if the tweak is small, I do it quickly and send it along. However, it has been about three years since I did the original work, and I’ve moved on from doing graphic design work and no longer have access to design software and have no desire to continue to do design work. I sent him all the files I had, so he can potentially hire someone else. I explained that I no longer have the programs to update them. But he continues to reach out to me. Today he said he can pay f…

A reader writes: Earlier this month in Ohio, a pair of Republican lawmakers introduced a bill to create a website with lists of people who’ve no showed for interviews. I’ve included a link to Ohio’s Statehouse News Bureau’s reporting information — because truly when I first heard about it, I thought for sure the person was doing a bit. It seems to be specially focused on those receiving unemployment benefits, but it seems it could quickly turn into including everyone. I’m curious about your thoughts in general, but also in application. How on earth could they validate that the person no showed, and what if the person who entered the name into the database is an ex or d…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me I’m being annoying I’m in my mid-20s and work in a pretty casual office. We provide customer support for ticket buyers. I was promoted to membership/subscription package supervisor about six months ago. My boss oscillates between praising my attention to detail and criticizing me for second-guessing her. Yesterday I spoke up in a meeting with her and two other employees to give more detail on something. Her tone shifted and she said that I was being really annoying that day, but I brushed it off at the time. The next day, when I went to ask her a clarifying question about a credit card dispute, she sa…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: For various but mostly economic reasons, my spouse and I are not planning on having children. We both work in specialized fields that do not allow remote work, in roles that are required to be full-time. The best employment opportunities for both of us mean we’re locked into living in a high-cost-of-living area, and we rely on our full combined income to pay rent, bills, and student loans. This was our choice even before the current economic chaos. My darling mother cannot fathom this decision. Her suggestions for ways to “make it work” with a baby have ranged from: “Take the baby into the office with you” t…

Employment lawyer Robin Shea published a piece at legal analysis site JD Supra about my recent Slate column on mandatory “fun” at work — and she delved into the legal implications for employers. She points out that pressure to participate in things like escape rooms, sports, and yoga can give rise to legal issues around disability, pregnancy, age, and religion, as well as workers comp claims and wage and hour claims, and she offers advice to employers. It’s an interesting read. The post can team-building get you sued? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: For the bulk of my working life, I’ve been a very low-level lawyer in Washington, D.C. who managed to scratch my way into a few government contracts with the Department of Justice over the years. This definitely wasn’t my dream (poetry is … sigh), but things worked out this way and mostly it’s been okay. After using your book (which was great), I was eventually hired full-time by another agency last December, but DOGE killed my position very shortly afterwards before I even finished onboarding, and since then I’ve been scrambling, since the whole legal ecosystem in D.C. is a mess and jobs have vanished. Recently, a couple positions at DOJ were advertis…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. We’re supposed to do enneagrams at a company retreat I work at an organization with 100+ employees. We gather periodically for company-wide retreats. We have done this in the past with various professional learning opportunities. This time we were asked to fill out an enneagram survey that would be facilitated in conversation about “what truly drives you and how to apply that to your job.” I find it to be mumbo jumbo and about as scientific as astrology. I took the quiz and found myself increasingly uncomfortable with the questions and rigor of the survey. How can I share this with management? How can they create alte…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – September 19, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Sister Wife, by Christine Brown Woolley. I don’t know what made me pick this up but once I did, I couldn’t put it down. Written by one of the (former!) three sister wives from TLC’s reality show about a polygamous marriage, it’s absolutely fascinating. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – September 20-21, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told a coworker I’m full of myself I was hired from outside the organization two months ago to turn a lagging department around. My boss, the CEO, was hired from outside about eight months ago for the same reason. This week my peer told me, “I told Boss that he knocked it out of the park hiring you. He said ‘Yep, and she really sings her praises, too.’” I’m sooo embarrassed. I had no idea that I’d made any comments that came across that way, let alone enough to be a trend. My confidence is badly shaken. I have been critical to my boss about many things I have found going on in my division, and then I have ou…

A reader writes: I don’t like to do birthday stuff for my birthday. No, not even that. Or that. Or that. Or … It’s got nothing to do with the dreaded Getting Older; in fact, I don’t really know why. I just don’t want to. When my coworker went around collecting people’s birthdays, I gave mine to her, but specified that I didn’t want to have it celebrated. I was very clear about this. It wasn’t “Oh, you don’t need to make a fuss about me” or anything similarly wishy-washy. I said that I didn’t want anything to be done about it. For a couple of years this was fine, but then we got a new coworker, Pollyanna. One of our other coworkers, Kelly, also didn’t want to do birthd…

A reader writes: I just finished conducting a job interview where it was clear from the candidate’s answer to the first question that he was not going to get the job, but I felt like it would be rude to indicate that so abruptly. So I wasted 20 more minutes of his time going through the motions and by the end we both knew it was not a fit but I didn’t know what to say. Is it ever okay to cut the interview short? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Other questions I’m answering there…

A reader writes: This may not be an answerable question, but I’m interested in your views on what makes company culture. I ask because my very small (fewer than 10 people), 100%-remote company recently hired a new employee, and during the interview I anticipated that the candidate might ask about company culture and I realized that I would not know what to say. This was an unusual hire for our company, because it was only the third time in our more than 10-year history that we’ve hired someone who had no previous connection to a current employee. A quick overview of my company might provide helpful perspective: a couple of us have been here since the company’s inceptio…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My office is infested with wasps I work in a field where telework for any reason has been prohibited by our CEO. We can telework and did throughout the lockdown portion of the pandemic, but he’s aggressively against it now. Some offices and some supervisors are more lax about allowing it, but mine are not. Separately, our building has been harboring a reoccurring wasp infestation. Every summer, the building fills up with wasps. I guess my employer has complained about this to our landlord, and in response the landlord has used canned, commercially available wasp sprays a couple of times, administered by our building’s…

A reader writes: I have a coworker who is making me do her work, I asked my boss for help but I feel like he’s being really laissez faire about the whole thing. What should I do? How should I set boundaries with her, healthily? I work for a small research lab, and I’m rather new (hired four months ago). I have a coworker, Amanda, who doesn’t do her job. Examples include: missing a meeting because she was napping, coming into work only to use the printer/computer to plan a surprise party for her husband, spending “all day” replying to two emails, and most egregiously having her friend take a data analysis assessment for her when she was hired. She apparently has a histor…

Remember the letter-writer whose building was being plagued by human waste outside it? Here’s the update. The pooping has stopped! It was actually just a small group of six people who were causing the biggest problems. There were mental health issues at play as well. Our boss had several conversations with the police and created a plan that involved him monitoring the security cameras at night and calling the police non-emergency number any nights that group was sleeping under our awning. The police would send the homeless outreach team to give resources and ask the individuals to move on. If they didn’t move on, they were given no trespassing orders. There is a publi…

Earlier this month, we talked about corporate gifts that went terribly wrong. You shared so many outrageous stories that I had to split my favorites into two parts. Part one was here, and here’s part two. 1. The fire hazard After college I spent some time temping for a cargo airline. When someone had been with the company for five years, they were given a little glass globe paperweight. Part of my job was sending them out – a lot of the company’s employees were pilots and flight crew, so they didn’t come in to an office, and we mailed the gifts to their homes. After a while we got an email from one of the pilots. He had placed his globe on his desk by the window and wa…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I need to give feedback to someone who thinks they have imposter syndrome but really doesn’t know what they’re doing I work in a pretty varied team, say developing tea and teapots. I lead the teapots division, and I have a counterpart, Lee, who leads the tea division. In Lee’s tea division, Sam is in charge of rolling out a campaign for a new line of green teas, while Lee has only ever worked with the existing line of black teas, and has never run a campaign like this. Sam does not have much relevant experience at all, and doesn’t know what they don’t know. I on the other hand have been involved in new tea line develo…

A reader writes: A friend of mine got a job in property management and wasn’t told about the dress code until a couple months in. It is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. The highlights: * Women can only shop at Ann Taylor. They are given $700 twice a year for a clothing allowance, but $700 only gets you two suits and two shirts. * They have to wear certain color combinations on certain days, which means you can’t just buy those two suits and rotate them every other day. * Women have to wear heels. Property management involves some desk work but a whole lot of walking around, so you have to run around inside, outside, and up and down stairs in heels. Can th…

A reader writes: I’ve just hired a new remote employee who is absolutely wonderful. He’s organized, driven, talented and self-starting. I feel like I’ve won the jackpot — with a catch. His internet is really, really bad. It’s almost impossible to have him share his screen with me (or vice versa) or to carry on a conversation without a very noticeable lag. Because of this, he will often call into virtual meetings from his personal phone. I can’t pretend to know anything about his personal circumstances. For all I know, he could be working through student debt and I would hate to bring up something that might be uncomfortable for him. I have mentioned in passing using alt…

A reader writes: I’m the other side of letters you get more commonly: I am the overly talkative coworker trying to figure out how to professionally ask (read as beg) people to cut me off. I have pretty obvious/intense ADHD and do work with my doc to manage it as best we can. Unfortunately, we have not hit the magic mix yet. Since there is no hiding it for me, I am lucky to have supportive bosses who make it safe to be pretty open about it. The problem I am having is that while my current meds are really helping with most things, once I start talking, usually about something work-related, I cannot stop myself (literally screaming in my head to shut up, but hooray for exe…