Performance Tracking and Feedback

Remember the letter-writer who was covering two full-time jobs and her boss wouldn’t help? It turns out that she solved the problem herself before I printed my answer. Here’s the update. Your advice was lovely and I hope it helps people who are in the same position as I was. As an update – Things got worse for 2-3 more months. I did have conversations with her where I explicitly clarified I could not do the workload she was requesting, and every time she would acknowledge it but continue to act shocked and say degrading things to me when the workload was not completed. I took over the hiring after some pushing, and screened a number of applicants over the phone and hos…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 24, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 17, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 3, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I’ve been working at a university for eight years in the donor relations department. This past year has been really tough for the university budget-wise, for various political funding reasons. There was a round of layoffs in late April, where 10 out of the 60 people let go were in our unit (which has about 200 people). Another layer to consider is that our fundraising unit has gone through a massive reorg with a lot of roles being compressed with bigger portfolios. We used to have stewardship person in each faculty, now we have stewardship officers responsible for 3+ faculties. Our team is really flat, with the associate director having seven direct re…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me I’m being annoying I’m in my mid-20s and work in a pretty casual office. We provide customer support for ticket buyers. I was promoted to membership/subscription package supervisor about six months ago. My boss oscillates between praising my attention to detail and criticizing me for second-guessing her. Yesterday I spoke up in a meeting with her and two other employees to give more detail on something. Her tone shifted and she said that I was being really annoying that day, but I brushed it off at the time. The next day, when I went to ask her a clarifying question about a credit card dispute, she sa…

Employment lawyer Robin Shea published a piece at legal analysis site JD Supra about my recent Slate column on mandatory “fun” at work — and she delved into the legal implications for employers. She points out that pressure to participate in things like escape rooms, sports, and yoga can give rise to legal issues around disability, pregnancy, age, and religion, as well as workers comp claims and wage and hour claims, and she offers advice to employers. It’s an interesting read. The post can team-building get you sued? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – September 12, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Sister Wife, by Christine Brown Woolley. I don’t know what made me pick this up but once I did, I couldn’t put it down. Written by one of the (former!) three sister wives from TLC’s reality show about a polygamous marriage, it’s absolutely fascinating. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – September 20-21, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Sisters Weiss, by Naomi Ragen. The daughter of a strict ultra-Orthodox Jewish family rebels against the expectations of her parents and community, to mixed results. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – October 11-12, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I inherited an entry-level administrative assistant, Mary, who has been failing to make deadlines and repeating preventable mistakes, and who has major issues with focusing at work. She tangled with her last manager because she felt attacked when asked to explain missed deadlines and now has been passed off to me. My team typically works 9-5, eats breakfast before we start work, and typically takes an hour or less for lunch breaks. We don’t have a break room, so most of us eat lunch at our desks. One large source of distraction for Mary is that she will spend up to four hours a day eating, and when she is eating her work trickles to a halt. It is not u…

A reader writes: I recently relocated to another state and began looking for a job. Throughout the course of my search, I have come across an interesting and unusual (to me) phenomenon: ghosting. I have been ghosted by pre-screeners, HR directors, hiring managers, and a VP. In each case I have sent follow-up emails to express my continued interest in the position and … crickets. In one interview, the HR director literally said, “I will call you next week,” “I won’t ghost you,” and, “I don’t intend to ghost you, I promise.” I had not mentioned anything to her during our interview. And yes, she ghosted me. I sent a follow-up email and, no, I did not hear anything back fro…

A reader writes: I’m in the middle of a pretty bleak job search, involving lots of form rejection emails. The first few times I got one, I wrote back a succinct note to the effect of “thank you for letting me know” before realizing how depressing this would be for all of the rejections that would soon start rolling in. I figure most places don’t care, so I’ve stopped responding to those rejections, but I’m wondering: is it worth ever sending something polite but more personal, hoping that maybe they’d change their mind, or am I living in the job-search equivalent of a 90’s rom-com? “Gosh, we usually get crazy people who yell at us, but this person is so nice and that go…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Sisters of Fortune, by Esther Chehebar, who’s been called “a Jewish Jane Austen.” Three sisters in the insular Syrian Jewish community in Brooklyn try to figure out their relationships to men and to each other, as one begins to question her engagement. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – September 13-14, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I have been working at my company for three years now. In that time, I have been to the office approximately once. My work is pretty solitary and doesn’t require me to be in the office. Only a few people in the organization are required to go to the office every day. I am not one of them and neither is my supervisor. Nobody I work with directly is required to go to the office on a regular basis. They can go, but it is not required. My original supervisor was fine with my team only meeting in person for holiday parties, but she left last year. My new supervisor really wants to get me into the office more. She was surprised I had never been there, and wa…

A reader writes: I have developed a stance over time that my friends, partner, and colleagues all say is unprofessional: I let people at work be wrong, especially if it’s not going to impact our bottom line, due dates, or project quality. I particularly stay out of things if they’re trying to get someone in trouble and it bites them in the butt afterward. When I was younger, I would over-explain myself, which made things worse/made me look unprofessional, so when someone’s wrong now I just let them be wrong, especially if I’m met with rude pushback, which can be typical in my line of work. Some examples of this include a mix-up with a client meeting due to time zones. …

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. We’re supposed to do enneagrams at a company retreat I spoke to a few colleagues about the enneagram activity, and many agreed and felt this was a strange work activity. I shared with my boss and those in charge of the retreat, and they heard some other feedback as well. While the activity still happened, it seemed some steps were taken to water down or soften how it was presented to minimize the weight of the activity. Overall it was not too bad, and was amusing to talk about the “types” so long as we were not talking about individuals or the more personal elements. I have a feeling they will gather more feedback bef…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: What Is Wrong With You? by Paul Rudnick. Both funny and poignant, it follows a motley cast of characters (including a former TV action star, a fired book editor, and a dentist in mourning) as they prepare to attend the wedding of one of their exes to a famous tech billionaire. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – November 1-2, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. No one in my company will give direct feedback I joined my current firm almost two years ago. It was an industry switch post-masters degree. The firm is well-regarded, albeit fast-paced and challenging. After joining, I learned that they have a truly bizarre approach to feedback: you don’t give feedback to people directly, you tell their manager. About six months in, someone went to my manager to say they felt I was not as communicative about a deliverable as they wanted. She never said anything to me when I was working on the deliverable, just took the deliverable when I handed it off (on time), said it looked good, …

I’m off today so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2017. A reader writes: Every since I was a small child I’ve been praised for how nice I am, how likable I am, how good I am with people. In many ways, this is a positive thing. I think of it as a skill that takes effort, but is very useful. However, as I’ve started working professionally I’ve run across a problem. I have a really hard time telling people when they are being awful. I can do normal job-related criticism fine – “please make sure you proofread for typos next time,” etc. – but when it comes to more emotionally turbulent conversations or anything with conflict, I complet…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 10, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: This may not be an answerable question, but I’m interested in your views on what makes company culture. I ask because my very small (fewer than 10 people), 100%-remote company recently hired a new employee, and during the interview I anticipated that the candidate might ask about company culture and I realized that I would not know what to say. This was an unusual hire for our company, because it was only the third time in our more than 10-year history that we’ve hired someone who had no previous connection to a current employee. A quick overview of my company might provide helpful perspective: a couple of us have been here since the company’s inceptio…

A reader writes: I’ve been a people manager for a few years now. I join a company as an individual contributor and get pushed into management as soon as a role opens. I don’t seek it out; I’ve tried to decline, only to end up managing anyway. I believe in the “servant leader” style, and I try to make sure that my teams have what they need to be successful. I’m also a pretty good people person. Throughout my career, colleagues and clients have tended to like me. I’m approachable, and I like to find compromise between conflicting priorities. My team isn’t a pure support role, but it’s ancillary (think design or marketing), so I need to collaborate with other teams so we a…

A reader writes: I found your site a few months ago after receiving an angry, almost violent letter from a former employee of mine. I used to own and operate a small bed and breakfast in a resort community. She was a maid, cook, and sometimes bookkeeper. I have always known that I’m a difficult person and would warn new employees that they were on probation for them to get to know me as much as for me to get to know them. I have always found those who can’t handle me to be weak or too sensitive. When I got her letter, I was shocked, angry, hurt, defensive, and ready for war. However, after taking some time to read through your past letters, I now don’t know how to feel…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 31, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article