Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I cried at work and my coworkers won’t stop asking if I’m okay I work in a small office where there are some strong personalities and, though our manager is very nice and reasonable, there’s only so much you can do about people like that. Yesterday, two of my coworkers (Mary and John) and I ended up having to do mediation with our manager over the pettiest shit imaginable. It’s so petty I can summarize the whole thing in one sentence: John walked in while Mary and I were prepping for a workshop, put a form whose processing is not my job on my desk, and when I asked him why he was giving it to me, snatched it back and …

A reader writes: I’m a (decently) new manager, and I’m struggling with one of my employees. They come from a freelance background but wanted stability so they applied for this job, which is a salaried role. Let’s say the hours are 9-5. We can be flexible with start times as long as it’s reasonable and we’re communicated with, but employees must work their full hours. For some reason, this employee seems to think that when their immediate work is done, it is done and they can go home. That’s not the case, and especially not so because in this line of work, work is really never done. They have many colleagues who could use a hand, and there are other things they could p…

Remember the letter-writer who asked if they had crossed a line with the (messy, chaotic) organization they volunteered for? Here’s the update. I’m the person who was angry about an Instagram post from the nonprofit that I was volunteering at. Duncan and Isadora did leave the board, although they still volunteered on a lower level. You mentioned that the nonprofit might not have great results towards its mission, and the truth is that the results are mixed. The organization’s goals are met, for the most part, but not without the great over-efforts of five or six people, myself included (which had earned me the nickname “Superstar” within the org). Things came to a head …

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: Would you consider an Ask the Readers on what people wish they’d known when they first became managers? I’ve just stepped into my first leadership role, moving from being a highly regarded individual contributor (who task managed teams for different projects) to actually managing a small department and wow, it’s a much bigger shift than I expected. I’d love to hear what helped others get over that hump, what made things easier, what surprised them, and what they wish they’d known earlier. Bonus points for advice on: • Managing people who’ve been on the team for years but weren’t hired for this role despite…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. The etiquette of “participation noises” in meetings I was very recently diagnosed as neurodivergent, and exploring my actions through that lens has thrown up some questions for me about whether I am missing a few cues. I work for a grant-making foundation as the grants and funding manager,, and my role partially involves traveling around our state visiting our grant applicants and grantee partners. My state is very rural and very low in the national education rankings, and most of these meetings aren’t exactly adhering to corporate norms. One of the things that often happens is what I could term “audience participation…

Earlier this month, we talked about times when coworkers have really overshared at work, and here are 10 of the most ridiculous stories you shared. 1. The wireless mike At a local stage production, while the audience sat quietly in the darkened theater awaiting the start of the show, a graphic description of the previous night’s one-night stand, including groans of subsequent aches and chafing, clearly came out over the leading lady’s wireless microphone clipped to her costume as she relieved herself on the toilet. 2. The skit I used to be a teacher at a prison — very odd population of people, a mix of mercenaries, martyrs, and misfits. For a statewide conference, the…

A reader writes: Although I have managed project teams for many years, I have only started supervising staff directly in the last few years and am about to begin managing my first fully remote employee. Any advice on managing a fully remote employee? I’m fine with task management for project teams in different locations, but being someone’s supervisor also includes supporting their professional growth, making sure we as the employer are meeting their needs, addressing problems that may arise, and assigning work to meet chargeability goals. I also want to make sure that this employee stays happy, especially as she grows professionally. And my reports and I are known as a…

A reader writes: I’m writing in about a situation a friend is in. He was at the annual convention for his employer organization when he was called into a meeting with his boss and his boss’s boss. They informed him that he was under investigation and they couldn’t tell him anything more, but that he was to leave the convention immediately as they’d canceled his hotel room. (I should note that the convention was an hour’s drive from his home, so it’s not like he had to reschedule flights or anything.) The day after the convention, they sent him an email informing him that he was terminated. The reason for his termination? They had discovered he had applied for another jo…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss says three female employees having dinner together would be discrimination I recently organized a dinner with two of my closest colleagues/friends. It was planned outside of work hours and paid for personally. The dinner grew to include the three other women employees. When my supervisor found out, he said it was gender discrimination because none of the 15 male employees were invited. Without naming names, he made a public announcement about it at our next department meeting. Is it gender discrimination if women coworkers want to have dinner together in their own social time? Aren’t women a protected legal cl…

A reader writes: I have the oddest situation. I have given my notice at a healthcare nonprofit (let’s call it the Wellness Alliance). I’ve been a part of Wellness since the very early days. One of the people I mentored, Katy, went into leadership, became the lead social worker, and turned people against me when our last CEO left. I recently gave notice because Katy got the leadership team to bully a young staff member out of Wellness after they asked for my help on a case, even though Katy had ignored their request, and that was the final straw for me. Katy had a sessional gig at our local college, and I recently met one of her students, Fergus. Fergus was looking for a…

A reader writes: I’m a newish manager, and I have one direct report. My new employee, “Susan,” quit this week. Her old employer had reached out to her and made her a dream offer. I spent five months training Susan. She had learned a lot and was starting to work well independently. The thought of starting over training a new employee is exhausting and depressing, and I feel completely defeated. Susan isn’t the whole story. Before Susan, my employee was Joe. Joe worked for me for three months before his serious mental health issues became apparent. His anxiety and depression made it impossible for him to come to work on many days, and he told me that the job was too stres…

Some letters from Minneapolis: For the past several weeks, the Twin Cities, and the state of Minnesota overall, has been under siege by federal agents. My friends and coworkers are scared to leave their homes. Every day we see and hear about another innocent person being harassed, detained, and spirited away by plane and kept from their family, friends, pets, and lawyers. Neighbors exercising their constitutional rights are gassed and beaten. Victims emerge from detention centers with horrifying accounts. My friend was on the scene when Renee Good was murdered. In some of the coldest weather of my life, we stood outside for hours screaming for ICE to leave. People are no…

A reader writes: I manage a team of four. One of my staff members, Jeff, asked to go to a conference that was about a five-hour drive away. I approved the request as the conference would be good for his professional development. Three other staff members from our closely connected teams were also going. Jeff registered for the conference. A couple weeks later, he asked me about booking a flight to it. I was surprised by this, as the conference was a reasonable driving distance. I explained that the department would rent a van and the attendees would drive there together. (Our department wants to minimize expenses where reasonable, so this is norm unless it doesn’t make …

A reader writes: I’m writing for some advice on how to help my mentee set expectations at work. I work at a small educational site. Alice came to us through an independent living program for young adults with disabilities, and she was absolutely fantastic as a volunteer. She was extremely passionate about the work and already had independently picked up a bunch of extremely niche skills (for anonymity let’s say it’s reconstructing historical rice sculptures) that would normally take years of training, so most of the guidance I was giving her was more in relation to her soft skills and building confidence in her own abilities. She also has A Lot going on in her personal …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker keeps suggesting I should babysit his kids I work in an office environment, somewhat causal, but we have absolutely no involvement with anything children-related. So I have no idea why a manager here seems to think that I would be interested in babysitting for him in the office or outside of work. For reference, I’m a mid-20s woman in a mostly male office. The manager in question, Fergus, is above me in the hierarchy but not my boss (I report to two people above him). I’ve known for a while that he has two young children, and the nature of our jobs is either long hours, an odd schedule, or both. He has often …

A reader writes: Twice in the past year, I’ve been asked to provide a reference for a former report, “Enid.” I hired Enid in mid-2019 and she reported to me until mid-2021 when my role changed. I think she left the organization at the end of 2022. She was an incredible employee: shining in the position and tapped on the shoulder for extra projects that highlighted her skills. Absolute pleasure to work with in every way. In February 2024, Enid asked if I could be a reference for her, and I was happy to oblige. I did so, provided a positive reference, and let her know afterwards. We’ve not had contact since. Just last month, I received a voicemail saying that Enid has li…

A reader writes: My coworker – who is not my boss – is trying to micromanage my projects, and I am having difficulty responding effectively. About six months ago, I was appointed to a leadership position for a well-known nonprofit in my area of expertise. I’ve generally enjoyed the work and feel well-supported, with the exception of one coworker, Linda. Linda is about 10-15 years older than I am, though I have more professional expertise and public-facing engagement in this field. She is in a different department than I am, but she acts as though she thinks I report to her, instead of to my actual boss (who is also her boss) and she constantly wants updates on my proje…

A reader writes: Recreational marijuana is legal in my state, but I don’t necessarily want my independent retail store to smell of it, given that we want to give our customers a pleasant shopping experience. I myself get migraines and other adverse health effects from the strong smell of it and cigarette smoke, not to mention that I’m asthmatic, but I don’t want to police my employees in their free time. However, my employee has started to arrive at work reeking of it. Their belongings and their personal space radiate the smell by at least 10-20 feet, so between them being at the front and their belongings in the back, half the store smells of it. I am very new at mana…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker keeps taking off her pants (she’s wearing shorts under them) I have a coworker, Silvia, who almost exclusively wears thin cotton shorts to work. We work in a manufacturing facility and wear cleanroom jumpsuits that fit over our clothing. Since the weather has turned colder, she has started wearing sweatpants over her shorts. We can all be sitting in the lobby chatting, and Silvia will casually start kicking off her shoes and pushing her pants down to remove them, using her feet like a toddler to scrunch them on the floor and push them away. Today we were having our Monday catch-up with the supervisor and manag…

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2014. A reader writes: I started the position I’m in just 2 months ago as an account executive. Before this position, I was an admin assistant and volunteer coordinator elsewhere. I am also 23, I’ve been working since I was 14 and been in office roles since the age of 19 – meaning I’ve been working long enough to pick up on office politics, and to avoid dramas. Quick background of my current workplace: 12 full-time employees. Most employees have worked there for over 2 years. Some 6 years. Pretty much everyone is close but nice, and I’m the newest and the youngest. I’m …

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Two Mrs. Grenvilles, by Dominick Dunne. A showgirl marries into an old money family, and there is a murder. My sister sent this to me when I said I wanted something light and it was perfect: a froth of gossip and old money and social climbing. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – January 17-18, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: When should an employer contest an unemployment charge and when should they let it be? I’m an HR department of one, and the managers have me contest almost everything! It’s hard to explain to them when it pays (poor performance) and when it doesn’t (gross misconduct). Can you help to determine what it should look like? This past year, we had an unprecedented number of firings and it’s been a doozy. Most of the time, employers should avoid contesting unemployment benefits unless something egregious happened. They definitely shouldn’t be doing it as a reflexive response to any unemployment filing. First, the basic rules around unemployment benefits: in …

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker smells like mildew and our managers won’t say anything We have a first shift and a second shift and rotate placements each week. I am on second shift, and my issue is with Ryan on first shift. Ryan is very nice, is a friend of my friend who got me the job, and seems to have pretty normal interests for a young man, but he absolutely reeks of mildew. So bad that every single one of our chairs permanently smells like mildew, as well as our floor mats, and whatever work area he is assigned to that week. I have worked here for just over a year and this issue started about six months ago. I realized how bad it wa…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – January 16, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I manage a small team of customer service/account managers. I have a long-term client who is quite particular and has dealt with one of my employees for a few years now. Recently, I’ve brought a new employee on board and we decided to transition this account over to her. The client sent me a polite, but very stern email after about one week, requesting to be put back in the original employee’s hands immediately. Nothing really happened to prompt this, the new employee hasn’t done anything wrong, and our strategic goal for this year is to split up clients in a way that means she should be handled by the new employee. I personally think it’s quite rude to…