Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employer pulled my offer after I asked questions Last year I worked at a school I absolutely loved in a contract middle leadership position, covering leave. They were very happy with my work, but as there was only space for one person in the role, I couldn’t stay on. This year, however, the permanent staff member resigned and the school immediately contacted me to ask if I was interested in returning. I said yes, but explained I needed to weigh it up carefully, as I had just started a new permanent role elsewhere. The position was advertised and I went through the recruitment process. After my interview on Thursday, I…

We’ve talked about terrible corporate gifts, so now it’s time to talk about great ones. And yes, money and time off are the best gifts, but sometimes you’re going to get something else so let’s hear about what actually worked. Some examples that have been shared here in the past: The best Doctor’s Day gift I ever received was a bobblehead of myself. They took our ID photos and had them made into bobbleheads. It’s hysterical. I love it. My company does a gift select each December that I really like. They work with a local bakery and have a selection of four items to choose from – typically a cheesecake, chocolate cake, quiche, or a fruit basket (this sometimes comes fr…

Remember the letter-writer who was covering two full-time jobs and her boss wouldn’t help? It turns out that she solved the problem herself before I printed my answer. Here’s the update. Your advice was lovely and I hope it helps people who are in the same position as I was. As an update – Things got worse for 2-3 more months. I did have conversations with her where I explicitly clarified I could not do the workload she was requesting, and every time she would acknowledge it but continue to act shocked and say degrading things to me when the workload was not completed. I took over the hiring after some pushing, and screened a number of applicants over the phone and hos…

A reader writes: I have been working at my company for three years now. In that time, I have been to the office approximately once. My work is pretty solitary and doesn’t require me to be in the office. Only a few people in the organization are required to go to the office every day. I am not one of them and neither is my supervisor. Nobody I work with directly is required to go to the office on a regular basis. They can go, but it is not required. My original supervisor was fine with my team only meeting in person for holiday parties, but she left last year. My new supervisor really wants to get me into the office more. She was surprised I had never been there, and wa…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I’m aggravated by my company’s giving-back program My company has a giving-back program where employees are asked to volunteer time or make donations to charity and in return there is a designated one-day holiday that the entire company gets off. Terrific, right? This year, my team signed up for a charity event that was centrally located, which then moved to a much less convenient location for everybody. Most of us opted to make a donation to one of the suggested charities since twice the commute was just too much time away from work. We then got push back to put on record how we gave back and when stated that we made…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – September 26, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Single, Carefree, Mellow, by Katherine Heiny. I don’t normally like short stories but I will read everything Katherine Heiny writes and these short stories are just as funny and smart about love and relationships as her longer books. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – September 27-28, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me I had to be on camera while sick My department hosts a monthly zoom meeting to a large audience. That week I was working from home with a terrible cold (coughing, sneezing, runny nose, the whole package). The day the meeting was scheduled to occur, I emailed my manager excusing myself for not having my camera on as I was sick. She emailed me back with, “Please be camera ready for the meeting, all participants are expected to be on camera.” I was not presenting; I am just required to attend, and not having my camera on would not pose any disruption to the meeting. I didn’t have the energy to even reply …

A reader writes: I recently came across a letter you answered about 10 years ago, where a woman wanted to decline an invitation to a wedding because she was uncomfortable with it being gender segregated. Your response was unsurprising, but I was a bit taken aback that a number of commenters mentioned they would be offended even being invited to a gender-segregated wedding, which are common in my community. I am a single Orthodox Jewish woman in my 20’s. My company is located near the large Orthodox Jewish community I am part of, so about half of my coworkers are from that community as well, and the other half are a mix of religious and secular non-Jews. We are a small o…

A reader writes: Could we do an open thread for federal employees and federal contractors about the possible government shutdown? I wasn’t working in government for the last one and don’t really know what to expect. Yes indeed. People impacted by the last shutdown, what advice do you have for people affected by this one? And people affected by this one, ask and share away. The posts from the shutdowns in 2018 and 2019 might also be helpful, and here’s a piece from 2013 by a commenter about what not to say to friends who had been furloughed by the government shut-down then. The post the government shutdown: an open thread for federal employees and contractors appeared …

A reader writes: I’ve been working at a university for eight years in the donor relations department. This past year has been really tough for the university budget-wise, for various political funding reasons. There was a round of layoffs in late April, where 10 out of the 60 people let go were in our unit (which has about 200 people). Another layer to consider is that our fundraising unit has gone through a massive reorg with a lot of roles being compressed with bigger portfolios. We used to have stewardship person in each faculty, now we have stewardship officers responsible for 3+ faculties. Our team is really flat, with the associate director having seven direct re…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I refuse to fetch my manager’s personal mail? I work in a room with my manager and two colleagues, and between them they order 3-10 personal packages to the office a week. They don’t get up to answer the door even when they’re sitting chatting rather than working; unless I’m on the phone, they expect me to get it. I’ve brought this up with them, but they don’t think it’s unfair. I’ve even injured myself fetching their heavy packages, and the manager’s solution was to email the team telling us to ask delivery drivers to put packages on the floor. That doesn’t solve my problem. It comes across as very entitled to ex…

A reader writes: My workplace has drinking heavily interwoven into the culture. You doubtless know the kind of place — never had a work social event without copious amounts of booze, boss bringing around beers on Friday afternoons, work parties with an open bar being relocated to another bar where the limitless company tab covers five shots for everyone at the table in five minutes, that kind of vibe. I didn’t know that was the culture when I was applying, and I’ve had a lot of issues with alcohol and drugs in the past. Over the past year and a half, I’ve had some life stuff going on that meant I got to the point where I felt it would be good for me to cut out drinking,…

A reader writes: I worked with an incredibly talented team of colleagues, and I feel like my own work isn’t anywhere near their level. I regularly complete far fewer projects than anyone else on the team, and I still need help on things they all seem to do independently. This isn’t the job I started in at this company. I was originally in a different role, but after a major corporate restructure two years ago I was moved into this position. I’m very sure I couldn’t have passed the hiring process for this job otherwise because I’m clearly not qualified; I just landed here because they needed somewhere to put me. Two years in, I’ve gotten better at the work than I was whe…

A reader writes: My job has a weekly meeting where a different employee each week presents to our group about what they’ve been working on for the past few months (academic lab meeting). The group is about 30 people and includes our boss/PI and everyone else in the lab group. There’s a tradition where the first five to ten minutes of these hour-long presentations are devoted to photos highlighting cool things from our personal lives. Almost everyone uses this time to show photos from things such as vacations, hobbies, hiking trails, their children’s school events, etc. I think it’s a cool way to connect with my coworkers and I think everyone else feels the same way. My…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Vaping on video calls I work for Company A. We partner closely with Company B on a few projects. There is a power dynamic where Company B provides more resources and calls more shots than we do, and I am very new on the team. I was on a Zoom call with an important person from Company B recently, and she was vaping on the call. She probably used her vape device at least 10 times on the call, and smoke was visible. She didn’t mention it, and neither did I. I don’t know what she was using, and she appeared to be in her home, though I’m not sure. I was so shocked, as it seemed wildly unprofessional, but I didn’t say anyt…

A reader writes: I’ve been a people manager for a few years now. I join a company as an individual contributor and get pushed into management as soon as a role opens. I don’t seek it out; I’ve tried to decline, only to end up managing anyway. I believe in the “servant leader” style, and I try to make sure that my teams have what they need to be successful. I’m also a pretty good people person. Throughout my career, colleagues and clients have tended to like me. I’m approachable, and I like to find compromise between conflicting priorities. My team isn’t a pure support role, but it’s ancillary (think design or marketing), so I need to collaborate with other teams so we a…

A reader writes: I am a manager and I have a lot of empathy for people on my team. However, that empathy has taken a turn since I’ve now had employees twice threaten suicide after serious feedback conversations. In both cases I was told they were considering suicide because of the potential job loss, and we had to act accordingly — welfare checks, making sure their safety was secured. Clearly it wasn’t just my feedback that caused it, but it does seem like a catalyst for it. I did know before this happened that they were each struggling with their mental health, but nothing that would indicate this severity. In both situations, the people in question are safe, but I’m n…

Last month we talked about signs of financial trouble you’ve seen at work — the early signs that foretold something worse was to come — and here are 12 interesting stories you shared. 1. The shrimp harbinger One place I worked at had a holiday party, and long-timers clocked that the size of the shrimp cocktail tower was an indication of the financial health of the company. Some years it was a four-tier ice sculpture piled with giant shrimp, some years it was a single platter of average shrimp. It became known as the “big shrimp party.” One year … no shrimp at all, and rumors started flying. A few months later there were layoffs. 2. The rug repo You know those rugs you…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I manage a married couple, and it’s causing problems I manage a married couple. I hired one of them first, and a few years later the spouse finished a degree that gave them the right expertise to also join my team. They don’t supervise each other or make any promotion or budget decisions about each other. At first things were good, but I’ve been noticing small things that are now bigger things in their communication patterns that need to be addressed. They are becoming really insular, not asking anyone for help except the other one, and not communicating issues or concerns outside the two of them, and recently they sh…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I currently work in the private sector, but lately I’ve been feeling dissatisfied with the thought of spending my whole career working just to increase shareholder value. My employer and many other companies in my field have demonstrated zero loyalty or investment in employees, with multiple rounds of layoffs and limited-to-no raises or professional development opportunities. The one good thing about my job is that the benefits and work-life balance are pretty good. Recently, I’ve applied for a few project-based jobs for nonprofits using my existing skillset. These positions would work on specific, mission-b…

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. We’re supposed to do enneagrams at a company retreat I spoke to a few colleagues about the enneagram activity, and many agreed and felt this was a strange work activity. I shared with my boss and those in charge of the retreat, and they heard some other feedback as well. While the activity still happened, it seemed some steps were taken to water down or soften how it was presented to minimize the weight of the activity. Overall it was not too bad, and was amusing to talk about the “types” so long as we were not talking about individuals or the more personal elements. I have a feeling they will gather more feedback bef…

A reader writes: I’ve been in the job market over the last few months for executive roles and have been genuinely surprised by how disorganized and last-minute some hiring processes are. Is it standard and reasonable to expect candidates to be available within 24-48 hours for half- or full-day interviews, locally or even with travel? If candidates can’t drop everything within a day, is it reasonable for them to ask for alternative times, or was that their shot and it’s over? Another way to look at this: if you could give advice to talent teams on managing executive recruitment processes in terms of scheduling, advanced notice, or travel for candidates (e.g., how far in …

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Moving people to a new team just so they can be fired This got relayed to me from a coworker who is in a supervisory role, Dorothy. She has a direct report who she is working on terminating, as this individual has not been meeting the basic requirements of the job, including the essential functions. They were already given an extended probation and continue to not meet the requirements of the role. There’s a whole backstory to it, but a new development has occurred that seems really suspect. Dorothy was told by her supervisor, Sophia, that once this person is out, they will transfer another employee to Dorothy’s team …

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – October 3, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article