Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I tell people at the company we just acquired what they’re in for? A few years ago, I started at a small company which within a year of me joining was acquired by a massive international company based on the opposite coast. At the time, my boss and the now (forcibly) retired owner were told that we would still be able to be largely independent, with more support for the work we do currently. It wasn’t until all the paperwork was signed, sealed, and delivered that everyone realized this couldn’t be further from the truth. Staff and offices we were promised wouldn’t be touched have been gutted. Our workload has a…

Last week, we talked about workplace romance gone either wrong or right, and here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The emergency deployments The company I worked for occasionally had to respond to statewide emergencies (think every two years). When these happened, you had to go work in a different location and fill roles for the emergency. So a team lead on emergency could just be a support staffer at their day job or a middle line manager could become the states liaison with the feds. Somehow this change in location and status made people lose their minds. The sudden power made the person “sexy”: coworkers (often married) would begin affairs with this perso…

A reader writes: Earlier this year, an employee of mine suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. He was excellent at his job and extremely well-liked by the rest of our department. His partner also works here. We are currently interviewing for someone to fill the now-empty role. At what point (if ever) is it appropriate to relay any of this to the candidates? So far, no one has asked why the job is open. While folks in the department are wonderful people, I have no idea whether any leftover resentment, awkwardness, or other weirdness may happen when our new person starts their job. There is some interaction between this position and the partner’s position, so I’d like to …

A reader writes: I used my company credit card for personal expenses over a long period (so, definitely not accidental purchases). I assumed it was somewhat frowned upon, but thought it was fine as long as I paid it off on time on my own dime. The balance amount over the months has ranged from $1,000 – $4,000. I did not realize it was a violation of agreements until I neglected to pay the balance for one month. (Before that, I had been paying off the full balance every month.) I did end up satisfying the balance, but obviously that invited scrutiny into how I have been using the card and they went back and looked at the history of transactions. HR set up a call with me…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I speak up about a management failure as I’m leaving? I’m a former teacher who resigned to take on a couple of lower key and much less stressful jobs. One of them is as an assistant at an after-school science club for pre-teens run by a nonprofit. It appealed because I could bring my skills and interact with kids (which I miss) but I had little responsibility or admin hassle. I am supposed to rock up and find everything planned and resourced. I’m a “pair of hands” for the session (and am paid accordingly!). But the course leader, Meg, is in her first job out of college and not equipped to do the job, so I have …

A reader writes: For many years, my boss has given flowers to all his assistants for Valentine’s Day. But he has the same two assistants for several years. Both are retired professionals who decided to go back to work, and both originally were married. Now one of them is a widow and he was told by other members of the management team that he couldn’t give her flowers because she was single, but it was okay if he still sent the other assistant flowers. This seems out of place and it made the widowed assistant feel awful. Is this okay? No, it is not okay in any way. Your boss is being a bit of ass, but the people who gave him this guidance are the bigger problem. First…

A reader writes: I’m looking for advice on how to pursue a new job discreetly, particularly when the interview process requires multiple rounds and my current workplace has very little flexibility. I’ve been with my current employer for 10 years. I started here before I even graduated from college, and I’ve grown tremendously. It’s a well-regarded organization with a prestigious name, and I genuinely believe they care about their people. That said, it’s time for me to leave. I’m no longer challenged, the work doesn’t excite me, and at my site things are fairly old school: no work from home, less vacation than many other employers, no flex hours, and we pay for our own …

A reader writes: I’m having trouble figuring out how to navigate a situation with a coworker, John. When I first started at this company a year ago, John was the one who trained me, and he was courteous and communicative throughout the process. I wound up as casual work friends with him, but over the year I’ve seen him do and say things that have given me a very bad gut feeling. Most of these things involve his wife, Gladys, who works here in a different department but who eats lunch with us occasionally. Although John is usually thoughtful and respectful to me and his other coworkers, everything he says to Gladys is some sort of subtle put down or disagreement with wha…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker reports the smallest interactions to HR I have a new coworker, Fran, who has not been fitting in with the vibe at work. She seems to have very thin skin, and at any perceived slight, will report coworkers or leaders to HR. Just today, I had an interaction that would have been standard and unmemorable with any other coworker. I was working next to Fran. She asked me a question, and I gave a very calm and direct answer. Fran said she hasn’t performed this particular task before, and to please give her some grace. I didn’t respond, and that was the end of the interaction. Not long after, I was pulled into the of…

I’m off sick, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2016. A reader writes: I’m currently interviewing for a new position with a company that works remotely. Over the past two weeks, I’ve had 10+ video calls with every member of the small team, along with a bunch of unpaid work tests that have included everything from client proposals to personality tests. It’s starting to feel like a full-time job just interviewing with them. I was willing to do all of this because the company is one that I know well with a social mission that I really believe in. I was even willing to accept that they are paying a good $20k below what is normal. I…

A reader asks: Last fall, I left a beloved job and assisted them in hiring two people to replace me. One was an internal hire, the other required an outside interview process. We received over 50 applications, narrowed it down to 13 phone interviews, then seven in-person interviews, and finally made a very satisfying hiring decision. At each step along the way, I sent out polite rejection emails to those who didn’t make the next level. It was very professional, and all candidates but one reacted very well. However, one gentleman who was not granted an interview wrote back saying that since he was “clearly overqualified for such a position,” he “would have at least appre…

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2020. A reader writes: I’ve worked for four years in a research laboratory and my supervisor is an associate professor. Her husband is a professor and a director of the research group (and that’s how she easily got her position). As part of standard procedure, the university requires all employees to complete what is called a performance development review. In our meeting, she highlighted two development goals. One was to improve individual conflict management skills by reflecting on all instances of conflicts and how those can be handled better. The second was to impro…

I’m off for the holiday. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My coworker calls me his “work wife” A couple of months ago, I joined a new team at work, in a role that is somewhat isolated from the rest of the group. So I was glad when another junior staff member who had joined the team a bit earlier reached out and showed me the ropes. As we grew more friendly, we also started sitting next to one another (our office has open seating with no assigned desks), and chatting occasionally during the day. Our remarks were always casual, and though they were not strictly work-related, we never discussed deep …

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Green Dot, by Madeleine Gray. Bored out of her mind in a job as a comment moderator, a young woman trying to figure out life gets sucked into an affair with an older, married colleague. You will be infuriated with her choices, but it’s smart and funny and it will make you so, so glad to no longer be 24. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – February 14-15, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 13, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. A medical tech repeatedly proselytized to me An experience I had recently with a medical provider has me wondering if what I felt to be inappropriate and unprofessional is a behavior worth raising with my doctor, who owns the practice. I live in area of the south where most people assume that everyone is Christian and believes in God — the kind of place where wishing someone “Happy Holidays” is likely to result in a tonally aggressive reply of “Merry Christmas.” Usually I let religious speak in various businesses just roll off me. I recently underwent TMS treatment for chronic, major depression. As part of that, I re…

A reader writes: I was offered a job last week, which was going to require a 2.5-hour move. I accepted as it’s a field I love and a company ownership I had worked for previously, just not at this location. Yesterday the job fell through because the expected job salary budget didn’t come through. At all. I had been waiting on paperwork to 100% make my hiring official. I even had a start date, which had been reiterated last week when they were waiting for the national leadership to send over the papers. I am lucky that I was able to reverse my resignation at my current job. I’m also lucky that I figure I’m only out about $100. I had applied for and been accepted for an a…

Over the years, we’ve had many letters about animals at work. Here are some of them. my employee doesn’t think we’re doing enough about bears at work (and the update) people only ask me about the ducks I work with (with a video in the update!) the pumpkin-eating cat my office got us turtles to take care of and bring home on weekends my office is infested with wasps our building is full of bats, sewer smells, moths, and more an unexpected office bird how much can I pet my cat on video calls? (and the update) my colleague is allergic to me because of my cats actual llamas head of HR is waging a pressure campaign to make me adopt a puppy my VP of HR says my servi…

It’s Valentine’s Day on Saturday so let’s talk about workplace romance. Did you spot coworkers having a secret affair without realizing how obvious they were being? Did your boss date your dad and try to get you to go to couples therapy with them? Did you spend a ton of time mediating between two employees who hated each other and then they ended up dating? Was your coworker always making out with his girlfriend at work? Did your colleague leave a rambling, drunken message for his secret office girlfriend — but accidentally leave it on the boss’s voicemail instead? Let’s discuss workplace romance gone both wrong and right. The post let’s discuss workplace romance gone w…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Our new work stations will be outside our building’s security screening I work in a government office, in a building that does full security screening of every person who comes in, with metal detectors and an x-ray machine for their bags. My department does some cashiering. As part of renovations to the building, they are adding cashier stations to our office that will be pre-security, meaning people can come directly to us off the street with no screening. We’re assured these stations will operate as check-only, no cash, but I’m still nervous about doing this. I’ve expressed my concerns but have been told our departm…

A reader writes: In 30 years, I have been late to work twice. The first time, management used my emergency contact number to track me down when I was one hour late. I believe this was a misuse of my personal information, and I removed this contact information from the company systems. Now, years later, it has happened again. My manager sent police to my home for a “wellness check” because I was two hours late. In this day and age, when federal agencies are claiming that they can come into your home without a warrant, it’s more than a bit alarming to see police at one’s door. Is this even remotely acceptable? I do realize that some employers will simply terminate on a …

A reader writes: My office is returning to a physical space in the fall and they are giving managers a lot of leeway to decide on remote/hybrid work. I manage eight people on my team and I know a number of them would be happy to never come into the office again. They have all proven themselves more than capable to work from home. However, I personally work best when I can see/talk with people in person, at least periodically. What balance can I strike between giving my team what they want and what I need in my own work style? I would love to ask each team member to come in at least once every 1-2 weeks, but unless there’s a true need is that out of line? I guess my ques…

In the comment section on a recent letter from someone whose coworkers were upset about her work anniversary gift, there was a lot of discussion about corporate gift programs. I heard from a reader who works for one of the larger companies that organizes these programs, and they generously offered to answer questions about it. Here’s our interview. To start, what are these programs all about, and how do rewards and recognition companies like yours fit in? Rewards and recognition falls under the bigger HR tech umbrella. Other things under the umbrella include incentives, promotional items, wellness programs, payroll, benefits, and HRIS that does pretty much everything. S…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. We have to demote a really dedicated manager I’m involved in a small, local nonprofit animal shelter. I started as a volunteer and am now an officer of the board. Two years ago, our very competent office manager quit. After two crash-and-burn failed hires, one of our part-time kennel help wanted to try to step up into the position. On a trial basis. Over a year ago. And while she was never officially given the job, things just … limped along. Kasie is awesome in many ways, great with people and incredible with the animals. But she lacks the initiative and judgement to successfully fill this role. I will add she is open…

A reader writes: I work for a large, quickly growing international business headquartered in the United States. I’m in HR and often collaborate with finance. My work is challenging, exciting, and I feel valued as an employee. But that’s actually part of the problem. Not to accidentally quote Liam Neeson, but I have a particular set of skills that makes me very difficult to replace. I have strong job security, I’m paid well enough to support my family, I have decent benefits, and I love my coworkers. But I have also been burnt out for over a year. Being neurodivergent and learning how autistic burnout differs from standard burnout has been a wild ride. My managers (yes,…