Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the CEO who kept asking young male employees to try her breast milk (!!)? Here’s the update. I recently wrote in about my CEO offering her breast milk to staff. The staff member most impacted elected to write a letter to the board. About 95% of union members decided to sign on to the letter, with many of them writing their own letters describing favoritism and lack of accountability on the part of the CEO. The whole board rece…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering if they could ask their coworkers to tell them to shut up when they were talking too much? Here’s the update. I was the person who wrote in a moment of desperation trying to figure out how to stop myself from endlessly talking with/at coworkers and posed the idea of having a button made to tell people to tell me to hush (you know it was bad times when that sounded like a good idea). Warning for cont…

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. A reader writes: I have a newer employee who isn’t doing well. She has another job that I think she works at while on breaks, and I believe it’s causing distractions (and long lunch hours). She’s never actually told me about it but her cell phone voicemail is set for it. Do I bring up the other job when I am discussing her mediocre performance with her? I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Oth…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer in HR who had recently brought in a new manager, Barbara, to manage a team that was resisting any change and complained constantly? Here’s the update. First, Barbara is no longer with our organization. Due to some troubling behavior that was witnessed by multiple people (myself included), and given the nature of Barbara’s actions during her short time with us, we all felt this just wasn’t a good culture fit an…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My employee warned me he has a problem with authority Six years ago, I took a job in a new department. At the time, I only had two years of managing experience and I was eager to not step on the toes of my new four-person team, who had a combined total of 85 years of experience. On my first day and in my first meeting with my employee Fergus, he smirked and opened with, “You should know I have a problem with authority.” To his credit, he was not lying. It’s a nightmare to deal with him but he does just enough to not be let go (we work for the gover…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – November 28, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is dating a teenager I work in retail and have younger coworkers rotate through on a regular basis. Think late teens to early twenties. I am significantly older than them and often offer general life advice or encouragement. One of my coworkers (22) can be a bit sporadic. He’s a hard worker and fairly cheerful person but on rare occasions he makes really stupid decisions without thinking of the consequences. Previous problems include gambling more than he should have, not showing up for work, and slashing his roommate’s tires after an argument. I’m aware that this makes him sound like a nightmare but it is…

A reader writes: This month, I started a new job that offers excellent benefits, including a policy stating that employees who “self-identify” on an addiction issue can take time off to get help without penalty. As a high-functioning untreated alcoholic, I’m very grateful for this, but unsure how to navigate it. (Kudos to all the authors of personnel policies out there who wrote language like this. Sincerely, those folks need to know how grateful some employees are for those clauses! Thank you! You are helping people!) Here’s the situation: I’ve had a long-term drinking problem and know in-patient treatment would finally help me address it. Out-patient didn’t stick, and…

A reader writes: I work for a small company, only eight people. Every December, we receive all kinds of gifts from vendors and clients – gift baskets, cookies, candy, wine, and so forth. These are usually accompanied by cards making it clear that the gifts are intended for the whole office to thank us for our work that year. Sometimes people even drop off gifts in person, and they will say things like, “This is for the whole office to enjoy.” Every time, my boss will take the gifts into his own office so no one else can have any of them, or he takes them home for his family. The only time we ever get to enjoy the gifts ourselves is if it’s something he doesn’t like. (Th…

All this week to get us in the holiday spirit, I’m going to be featuring holiday work stories readers have shared here in the past … and then updates season will start next week! To kick us off, here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared about potlucks and other food gatherings at work earlier this month. 1. The mince pies During a Christmas potluck, our CEO made a surprise appearance at our small branch to chat, exchange wishes, and so on. While everyone moved to the main floor for some games and quizzes, I had to go back to the canteen to retrieve my forgotten jacket. I caught the CEO stuffing the pockets of his very expensive, very Armani suit with our mince pies…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employee smells like smoke and it’s making me sick I supervise a small research team, and one of my researchers is especially engaged and productive. They’re deeply invested in our work, and our meetings are usually energizing and full of great ideas. I really value their contribution and want to keep supporting their professional growth. The problem is that this researcher is a heavy smoker, and the smell of smoke lingers on their clothes. I have smoke-induced asthma, and after each in-person interaction I end up coughing, wheezing, or even needing to take a sick day. Unfortunately, due to the nature of our work, …

A reader writes: I’m student work head at a university library — basically, I’m a student managing the regular student workers as a way of getting experience in management, leadership, etc. One of the workers has a bad habit of asking questions about everything. Usually it isn’t too bad, and of course curiosity should usually be encouraged, though it can derail conversations. But recently, there was an incident where some of our just-put-up Christmas decorations were stolen. Naturally, I was upset, and I happened to mutter, “Whoever did this is a real berk.” (I don’t know why I chose that word — it was just the first that leapt to mind.) Overhearing this, she asked, “Wh…

A reader writes: My husband and I are splitting up after eight years together. We’ve had issues that we’ve been working on for a long time, but the final split happened fairly suddenly and I’m reeling right now. On top of everything else I’m dealing with now (including finding a new place to live, getting off his health insurance, etc.), I’m wondering how to talk about this at work. My coworkers have met my husband at many events over the years, and I’ve talked about him a lot at work. I don’t know how to tell people we’re splitting up without inviting a ton of questions, none of which I’m really ready to talk about right now, and I also don’t want to trauma-dump on peo…

As we head into the holidays, we must solemnly reflect back on the stories shared here over the years about holidays at work. Here are some of my favorites. 1. The chili cook-off I worked for a nonprofit, and every year there was a few months long period where every department would do some kind of fundraiser for the nonprofit. My department was famous for a lunchtime chili cook-off that included, of course, voting for a winner. It was my first year there, and my boss kept talking about how popular the chili cook-off was. We were advised we needed to quadruple our normal recipe to have enough for everyone. One coworker launched in right away with BIG talk about her rec…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want to have dinner with my boss on a work trip I am going on a work trip outside the country with a colleague and our boss. Both of us don’t really get along with him (our boss) and want to plan our own activities in the non-working hours (mainly dinners). However, he has asked us what we plan on doing and wants to plan a dinner with all three of us. Is there a way I can say no to him without letting on that we have already made plans? What if he asks what I am doing instead when I decline his offer? There has recently been friction with him regarding work activities so not really sure how he will feel if eit…

Over the years, readers have submitted a tremendous number of amusing stories about holidays at work, and since we’re heading into the holidays we must revisit them. Here are some of my favorites. 1. The banana bread I managed a department of about 15 people. One lady was extremely proud (and vocal) regarding her banana bread. Once, I joined the conversation and mentioned my mother also had a wonderful recipe my family loves. I will spare you the details, but within a day or so, I found myself embroiled in Bananagate as the Manager Who Cruelly Insisted Her Recipe Was Better. The only way to settle it was a bake-off, which I tried mightily to nix (my staff was an unhappy…

It’s 12 more holiday stories! 1. The elves Our office did Elf on a Shelf last year to determine who worked the holidays and who didn’t. The office had always closed for a week at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year with pay but the brass had decided they wanted people working in office during the holidays. Instead of telling us months in advance so we could mitigate our plans and come up with a fair way to distribute work and time off, they told us the week after Thanksgiving and thought it would be fun to get a bunch of those creepy Elf on a Shelf things, put them in every department and have the “Elf” decide who works. Every morning we’d get a company wide email fr…

It’s more holiday stories! Tradition dictates that as we head into the holiday season, we must revisit holiday stories previously shared by readers. Here are some favorites. 1. The rare books department I’ve changed up a couple of details from this being super recognizable, but I used to work in a rare books department in a library. People who work in rare books tend to have pretty esoteric passions that lead them there, and these were always on full display at said party. My favorite selections from over the years: – The brand new head of the department wanted to show off a bit at his first Christmas party, give a speech… and sing “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” with his 2…

Share your holiday angst or joy in this special Thanksgiving eve non-work open thread. The post Thanksgiving eve open thread appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any discussion you’d like to have with other readers (work or non-work or possibly even entirely dessert-focused if that’s your bag). Happy Thanksgiving! The post Thanksgiving free-for-all – November 27, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. A reader writes: My company’s offices are entirely open plan, with the exception of a few fish-bowl style, glass-walled conference rooms. There aren’t even dividers between desks, just one big room, so everyone can see everything that’s happening. Unfortunately, we have had to terminate a few people over the last year, typically for not meeting performance goals (as opposed to misconduct or misbehavior). Typically, the terminated employee gets the news in a conference room and is escorted out by their manager, which has had varying levels of success. There was one situation where t…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer wondering if they were missing red flags at their new job since their coworkers kept expecting them to be miserable? Here’s the update. I’m still in the job! My boss is still a stickler, that hasn’t changed, but I’ve adjusted to him, and things have stayed pretty stable overall. I’ve now been here about nine months, and I’m hearing a lot less about the dog (thankfully) and a lot less doom-and-gloom about how the job will “turn nightmarish any day now.” It hasn’t. My team lead and colleagues are go…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Can I confiscate my coworkers’ screaming monkey toy? Today, as has happened multiple times in the last few months, some of my nearby coworkers in our relatively small satellite office decided to play catch with this “screaming monkey toy.” The noise it makes is outrageously loud, especially in our small space, and I’ve previously indicated (politely) to coworkers that I find the noise not only distracting, but extremely annoying. After the first time, I asked them if they could please make an effort to not set the toy off, because of those reasons…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose office had been sent someone who couldn’t do the work by a job placement firm that said they’d lose their funding if the letter-writer’s office didn’t keep her? The hire, Carol, not only couldn’t do the work, but was disruptive — and her wealthy parents were being disruptive too. Here’s the update. I found some menial tasks from the lists given and put Carol on them. She really liked making paper chains…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My office is infested with wasps Here’s an update to the wasp infestation in my office: it is still ongoing. The wasps are still there. I forcefully invoked my rights under the law and was finally allowed to work from home until the wasps are gone, but I am under the impression that nothing particularly has been done about the infestation. I fully expect the wasps to return next year u…