Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I interviewed a student today who is interested in doing an internship at my organization. I love working with interns so I was happy to meet with him (virtually), but I am wondering if my expectations are off in terms of how a student interviews. He was late, his wifi was bad, the background was messy (dorm room with flags hung on the wall), he was wearing a hoodie and ear buds, and he didn’t have any questions for me. He seems smart and he has some interesting and relevant experience, but I know that’s not how I would have shown up to an interview, even at his age. Are my expectations too high? Is it unreasonable to expect that programs that require …

A reader writes: I’m a newish manager, and I have one direct report. My new employee, “Susan,” quit this week. Her old employer had reached out to her and made her a dream offer. I spent five months training Susan. She had learned a lot and was starting to work well independently. The thought of starting over training a new employee is exhausting and depressing, and I feel completely defeated. Susan isn’t the whole story. Before Susan, my employee was Joe. Joe worked for me for three months before his serious mental health issues became apparent. His anxiety and depression made it impossible for him to come to work on many days, and he told me that the job was too stres…

A reader writes: I’d like advice for keeping your sanity when acting as someone’s PTO back-up. I had a former coworker who I was paired with for many of our responsibilities. When she took time off, she would set her Teams message to “do not disturb” for two days prior to going on PTO and two days after returning. This would add an extra four days to the time I had to cover for her because no one could get ahold of her and I was the default. However, when I took time off and she received a request for me, she would just tell them, “You will have to wait until Jane is back.” Nothing happened when I tried to talk my manager about it. A current coworker just puts my name …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want to have dinner with my boss on a work trip I am going on a work trip outside the country with a colleague and our boss. Both of us don’t really get along with him (our boss) and want to plan our own activities in the non-working hours (mainly dinners). However, he has asked us what we plan on doing and wants to plan a dinner with all three of us. Is there a way I can say no to him without letting on that we have already made plans? What if he asks what I am doing instead when I decline his offer? There has recently been friction with him regarding work activities so not really sure how he will feel if eit…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Do I need to be less long-winded? How can I be less long-winded? I’m a senior manager, so I have to talk frequently: laying out project goals and plans, providing directions to team members, clarifying roles, explaining my feedback or why I disagree with a recommendation, explaining a complex situation/problem we need to solve, etc. I feel like when I’m talking, I might be going on too long because people often interrupt me because they think I’m done talking, but I’m not. I often have a detail to add that I think is important because it adds nuance to what I just said, or it sums up the explanation I just gave. Earli…

A reader writes: I’ve been a people manager for a few years now. I join a company as an individual contributor and get pushed into management as soon as a role opens. I don’t seek it out; I’ve tried to decline, only to end up managing anyway. I believe in the “servant leader” style, and I try to make sure that my teams have what they need to be successful. I’m also a pretty good people person. Throughout my career, colleagues and clients have tended to like me. I’m approachable, and I like to find compromise between conflicting priorities. My team isn’t a pure support role, but it’s ancillary (think design or marketing), so I need to collaborate with other teams so we a…

A reader writes: I feel it is non-negotiable that — except for cases of emergency, sick kids, or traffic jams — employees should be at work on time the vast majority of days. This means getting to work about 10 minutes early in time to hang up a coat, use the bathroom, etc., and be at one’s desk when the hour begins. I feel like most employees and many managers do not so much care about this or, if they do, they don’t say anything to late employees. I have worked with colleagues who regularly show up 10-20 minutes late and no one seems to care. I’m not talking about flex-time jobs. Are my standards old-fashioned? I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. …

A reader writes: Twice in the past year, I’ve been asked to provide a reference for a former report, “Enid.” I hired Enid in mid-2019 and she reported to me until mid-2021 when my role changed. I think she left the organization at the end of 2022. She was an incredible employee: shining in the position and tapped on the shoulder for extra projects that highlighted her skills. Absolute pleasure to work with in every way. In February 2024, Enid asked if I could be a reference for her, and I was happy to oblige. I did so, provided a positive reference, and let her know afterwards. We’ve not had contact since. Just last month, I received a voicemail saying that Enid has li…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I speak up about an inappropriate song in children’s theater? I’m a volunteer in a community theater production for young children between five and seven years old. Our current show involves a dance number that takes place in ancient Egypt, and there’s a recent change to the production that I feel uncomfortable with. The children were originally dancing to “Walk Like an Egyptian” by the Bangles, but then the coordinator changed it by “popular demand” to a different song called “Camel by Camel.” This decision on its own seems innocuous albeit …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Okay, federal workers and others affected by All This, you asked for an open thread to talk about what’s happening, and here it is. Have at it. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is a credit for child care expenses fair to employees without kids? Recently a viral video and announcement has gone around of a company offering credits up to $3,000 a month for child care expenses. This is fantastic! However, as a child-free person I’m concerned about a benefit worth tens of thousands of dollars a year only being offered to a segment of employees who have young children. When point this out, am I the bad guy? How can a workplace support all their employees? I don’t think you’re the bad guy. I do think, though, that child care expenses are in a different category than nearly anything else — this coun…

Over the years, we’ve had many letters about animals at work. Here are some of them. my employee doesn’t think we’re doing enough about bears at work (and the update) people only ask me about the ducks I work with (with a video in the update!) the pumpkin-eating cat my office got us turtles to take care of and bring home on weekends my office is infested with wasps our building is full of bats, sewer smells, moths, and more an unexpected office bird how much can I pet my cat on video calls? (and the update) my colleague is allergic to me because of my cats actual llamas head of HR is waging a pressure campaign to make me adopt a puppy my VP of HR says my servi…

A reader writes: I work at a government agency (not in the U.S.) and it’s a good job. It’s a relaxed environment that definitely puts people’s safety and well-being first. However, and I never thought I’d be saying this, I think it might be too much of a good thing. People spend all day chewing on their fingernails and then touching everything (we are moving to a hot-desk only workspace). We’ve got a few people who are constantly coughing or throat-clearing, and typing/clicking so forcefully that the desk shakes. The person who sits near me arrives late almost everyday, having come from the gym, and simply changes into work clothes without showering, then spends half…

A reader writes: I’m the manager of a large department, one of whose functions is to run an in-person helpdesk service. Our primary audience is under-25s. We have a member of staff who has requested to wear earphones whilst working on the helpdesk to help manage sensory overload. We always make adjustments for staff where we can to help manage any conditions they may have, be they physical or mental, with the proviso that the adjustments ensure they can do the job. Here’s where I wonder if I’m being unreasonable and/or out-of-date in my thinking. I’ve said that I don’t mind discreet in-ear headphones, but I draw the line at big over-ear headphones. It’s a customer-faci…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in an office with two full-time employees, a manager, and 80+ contract employees. Jane, the other full-time employee, and I both support the contract employees in vital, yet different ways. Let’s say that she schedules appointments, and I process payments. Each office in our company has a scheduler and a payment processor, and while both are technically hourly, each cohort has different duties and perhaps a different culture. Payment processors have many more responsibilities than schedulers, and both are occasionally asked to pick up an outside task or six. Here’s where thing…

A reader writes: I started a new job abroad. It’s a small country, and I’m adjusting well. I lived as an expat for six years prior to this in a less developed country, working in a much smaller, less professional company, and I know how much worse things can be in terms of working conditions, pay, and general living standards. I’ve been treated 1,000% better by this company than I was by the last place I worked, and I try to tell them that, but they don’t listen. They seem convinced that it’s only a matter of weeks before I find out what it’s “really like” here and quit. To be fair, my first day was admittedly shaky. My boss, Jake, wasn’t there to provide any guidance an…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: In the past year or two, quite a few people (typically middle-aged men) have been reaching out to me via LinkedIn (I am a 20-something woman) trying to recruit me. While I do have a lot of experience, I’m wondering if it’s odd that some of these professionals are reaching out to me, as I am under the impression it should be the other way around. They are the ones with the experience and connections while I’m the one building my network. My settings are set to the “not seeking a job” setting, and it’s clear on my profile that I am currently employed, and yet I still receive these fairl…

A reader writes: I’m a relatively new manager, and I’m still finding my footing when it comes to shifting from being an individual contributor to overseeing a team. One thing I struggle with is knowing when it’s appropriate to delegate tasks to my team versus doing them myself. I manage a communications team of four at a university. When my manager assigns me work — things like drafting communications on a specific topic or reviewing copy from another department — I’m never sure whether she expects me to do it personally or for me to assign it to someone on my team. I feel like she is expecting me to delegate them: these tasks fall squarely within my team’s remit, and I…

Here’s some coverage of Ask a Manager in the media recently: I talked to Slate about the death of the work happy hour. I talked to CNBC about how people are feeling about work right now. I talked to CNBC about how people returning to their offices are encountering very messy coworkers. I talked to CNBC about why generational stereotypes are often BS. I talked to CNBC about some TikTok career advice I support. The post Ask a Manager in the media appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

Here’s some coverage of Ask a Manager in the media recently: I talked to Time about communication habits that are annoying your coworkers. I talked to Bloomberg about how managers should discuss pay with employees. I helped MarketWatch advise a letter-writer whose employee told her boss the writer was judgmental and belittling for giving feedback. Huffington Post quoted me about what to say if a coworker is staring at your chest. Also… How to report problem ads We’ve had a rash of ads auto-playing sound recently and are trying to get them all blocked, but if you encounter one (or any kind of problematic ad), the best way to report it is: look for the PubNation logo …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Just a heads-up that Ask a Manager is on Bluesky in case you’re over there: bsky.app/profile/askamanager.org If you’ve been considering trying Bluesky but haven’t made the leap: I really like it. It has a lot of the stuff that used to be great about Twitter before it imploded, plus cool features like being able to mute posts with particular keywords (so if you just can’t handle hearing anything about llamas this week, you can eradicate them from your feed), there are cool “starter packs” (so if you want to quickly follow a bunch of people who post about science or linguistics or yarn or cats or whate…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I would love to hear stories from people who made the transition from nonprofit work to for-profit work, as I am considering that transition myself. I’ve only ever worked in this sector and have a master’s in Nonprofit Management (not even an MBA) so the idea of changing sectors is really overwhelming, but I know people have done it before. Readers who have made this transition, please share advice in the comment section. View the full article

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I live in a lovely touristy small city with a university. It’s a great place to live, with lots of services and things to do for its size. I have a job in my field which I still enjoy in some ways, but I’ve been in it for 10 years and am terribly bored. I’ve really pushed the boundaries of my position and am feeling so stuck. I’ve been actively applying in town for three years. It’s rare that positions come up, and when they do, they are inundated with candidates. Our city is known for having a “scenery tax” and having wildly educated baristas. So in the past year, I’ve started applying to positions in diffe…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: For various but mostly economic reasons, my spouse and I are not planning on having children. We both work in specialized fields that do not allow remote work, in roles that are required to be full-time. The best employment opportunities for both of us mean we’re locked into living in a high-cost-of-living area, and we rely on our full combined income to pay rent, bills, and student loans. This was our choice even before the current economic chaos. My darling mother cannot fathom this decision. Her suggestions for ways to “make it work” with a baby have ranged from: “Take the baby into the office with you” t…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I work in a field that leans heavily towards freelance gig work these days, but I’ve been lucky enough to work in-house for a firm since making a career change into this industry six years ago. I’ve done a bit of freelance on the side here and there, but not a lot, and I haven’t been self-promoting as a person who’s looking for work because, well, I wasn’t! I had a full-time job that I loved! Well … now I’ve been laid off as my firm downsized, and I’m going to have to go freelance on pretty short notice. Obviously I’ll be job searching as well, but it’s hard to overstate just how much this industry is based …