Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Safekeep, by Yael van der Wouden. When her brother’s girlfriend comes to stay with her in the Netherlands, a woman’s post-war life is upended. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: A year ago, my boss was promoted into a new role at my company. I took on my boss’ job, in addition to my regular job, with my grandboss implying that I would soon be promoted into my boss’s old job. Well, you can guess how this ends — I ended up doing both jobs for a year without any extra pay or recognition, my attempts to get updates on the job status were ignored, and this week, my grandboss hired one of his old fraternity brothers — with no experience in our industry — for the job. Obviously, I’m looking for a new job and hope to lea…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Canceling a women’s group because of DEI concerns I’m a PhD student and it seems like my university is trying to cancel the Women in Computer Science networking group that I run. They’re going about it in a really weird way: rather than directly saying “this is illegal D.E.I.,” they’re trying to send us on a bureaucratic runaround to maintain the status quo of funding and booking rooms. We’re in New England, so I suspect it would be locally unpopular to bluntly state that they’re cancelling women’s groups due to D.E.I. How do I fight this? Just dela…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. What if hiring a spouse is truly the best choice? I know that having a manager supervising their partner is fraught with peril — I have read enough AAM to have some great examples! But if the partner is truly the best candidate, are there guardrails you recommend? This is in a church context, and the minister’s partner is supremely qualified to be our music director. They are both being totally up-front about it, looking at alternate supervisory roles (could have a board member be the partner’s supervisor?), checking with the denomination for policy…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I own a business and recently I’ve had an issue with one of my employees. She will go all day without eating (because of what looks like poor planning) and then get very irritable with everyone and complains about being hungry. I’ll offer to order her something or offer her the granola bars we have in the break room, but she brushes me off. I think she thinks I’m being an annoying mom type but really I just don’t want to deal with her hangry attitude because it affects the entire office when she gets like that. Any tips? I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today,…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Retired coworker keeps coming back to gossip (#3 at the link) Unfortunately, the retired coworker is someone who will take offense at any direct request to be left alone to do work. He would go up and down the hallway talking loudly to other people about how “So-and-So told me to get lost!!!!” and cause even more of a ruckus. My supervisor is often not there to see what is happening, and was not effective in dealing with him before he retired. (Example: He told our supervisor, “I don’t attend meetings because that’s what works for me,” and she let hi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose coworker screamed at them and HR hadn’t done anything? Here’s the update. I wrote to you back in 2020 about an incident from 2019 where a coworker had a screaming tantrum. I very much appreciated your input, and that of your commentariat. Nothing much happened regarding HR and my yelling coworker, Dolores. I’ve taken your advice to heart, that almost all workplace issues are caused by bad management. This was seemingly a situation with a bad coworker, but the problem was exacerbated by the deep incompetence of my boss, Cornelius. He had no idea how to shut Dolores dow…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just read your post about an intern refusing assignments due to political beliefs. I am finding myself in the same position but with multiple direct reports who have been part of my team for years. We share enough with each other personally to know we are on the same side politically. However, a large chunk of our work is for those on the opposite side, and what these clients are sharing on social media (through the official organization’s pages) is pretty horrifying. My direct reports are so upset that they don’t want to be associated with this client, but unfortunately it’s part o…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. With more people working more days in their offices, let’s talk about carpooling for work. Did you have to share a multi-hour car ride with a coworker who insisted on listening to a bad recording of his own choir practice? Get stuck carpooling with a disgusting nose picker? Fall in love with your carpool partner after he accidentally got fired by pretending to be bad at his job so he could sit with you all the time? Let’s discuss work carpool stories in the comment section. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I hate my new job — can I go back to my old one? I worked at a company for over three years. Internally they have their issues and I had my share of frustrations, but it is basically a well oiled machine. As far as growth, there is not much, but I was paid well and had flexibility with my hours, although absolutely no work from home and an hour commute each way. Three months ago, a colleague who worked with me at this company and left two years prior, asked me to send my resume to her so she could pass it along to her boss. She only had good things…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should conjoined twins receive one salary or two? I recently read this article. The summary is that Abby and Brittany are conjoined twins who are fifth grade teachers. They only draw one salary between the two of them because they occupy one position in their school district. I can’t help but feel like this is a little unfair. I understand that they can only physically occupy one classroom at a time but they are two people with two minds who, presumably, both put work into lesson plans, etc. As an avid reader of your website, I am very curious to he…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: My father-in-law was visiting over the weekend. He started talking about how my brother-in-law is job-hunting to escape new company ownership. At one of my brother-in-law’s interviews, the employer asked to talk to his wife (my sister-in-law, who isn’t employed and cares for my three young nephews). I was so surprised that I exclaimed, “They can’t do that!” Well, I guess my comment offended my father-in-law because he raised his voice and said back, “What do you mean they can’t do that?!” I said what if the candidate was a single mom with kids? My father-in-law snapped at me, sayin…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Interview felt like an exam I had my first job interview in over 20 years yesterday, and it felt like an exam. Five people peppered me with a long list of questions, mostly hypotheticals. None of the questions were about my experience or my training. Only a couple were about what I had to offer the employer. The rest were, “What would you do if [thing that has never happened to me in all my many years working in this field] happened?” The thing was, I found myself answering all the questions not with what I would do, but with what Ms. Perfect would…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose doctor’s office constantly left them on hold while they needed to be working? Here’s the update. I wrote in a few months ago about struggling to schedule doctor’s appointments when I worked at a busy reception desk. Thanks very much to both you and the kind commenters who offered sympathy and suggestions. It was nice to receive confirmation that there wasn’t some easy solution I was missing, and I appreciated the suggestions to use an earpiece from other people who’d done front desk work. I also saw a few suggestions that my question wasn’t really a work question, whi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Blob: A Love Story, by Maggie Su. After a woman takes home a blob she finds in an alley, it grows into her ideal man. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. People complain that I don’t want to be at work social events I’m in a senior leadership role, and have been for the last six years. I keep running into the same problem and I’d love your advice. I don’t enjoy social activities at work (Christmas parties, picnics, etc.), and I also don’t like corporate retreats. I’d rather do my tasks, as I’m very busy. I’m very much in the minority. I always encourage my staff to participate. I do attend, but it’s out of obligation. People notice and then complain to my boss, who keeps talking to me about my part…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I’m supposed to live with my boss and her husband for months I have been working at my company for two years, and I get along well with my boss, who is a woman in her early thirties. Her husband also works for the same startup and we are all on a work trip together for a few months in a foreign country. The company is providing community housing (with private beds and bathrooms) for commuting workers that holds about 10 people, and a few two-bedroom condos. Before we arrived, my boss, her husband, my coworker, and I were under the impression that w…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about jerks getting their comeuppance, and here are eight of the most satisfying stories you shared. 1. The thief At an old job, I was continually denied raises by the bully finance director (who somehow was always able to find money for his own raises.) He oversaw all purchases for the business’s renovation, which included lots of furniture, TVs, tech stuff, etc. All expensive stuff. He was one of many jerks and I eventually moved on, but I heard from a coworker a couple years later that he was fired one day when an expensive TV that went missing from storage was suddenly discove…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I recently had a recruiter reach out to me about a job. I’m not really looking right now, but I figured I’d see what they had to say. I had my first interview virtually, and progressed a few days later to an in-person interview. It went well, but towards the end, the hiring manager asked if there was anything that would prevent me from accepting an offer if it were extended. Am I wrong to hate this question? Side note: the recruiter had been very clear that I shouldn’t ask any questions about what the company can do for me in the interviews, as they would handle all negotiations for…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I supervise a small team of seasonal staff in a resort community. Most of my team lives a short drive or 10-minute walk down the road from our main office and compound. About two-thirds of the work we do is based out of various buildings in the resort town, all within about a five-block radius (short walking/cycling distance or a short drive, though nearby parking is at a premium on busy summer days), which are usually scheduled in half day chunks (morning shift in one location, then lunch, then swap to a different location a short distance away). We also have some duties that take st…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker masturbates in the men’s bathroom There is a guy in my office who will go into one of the stalls in the men’s bathroom for 20-30 minutes at a time. I have had the bad luck of entering a stall next to him and hearing audible masturbation noises. I think he does this every day we work in-office because I swear it’s happened 5-6 times. A coworker I’m close with has confirmed hearing it as well, so I know I am not going crazy. I have also seen this guy come out of the bathroom with headphones on, looking at something on his phone, so after r…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article