Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can we refuse a massage appointment for a sex offender? I am a front desk coordinator in a clinic that is part of a large healthcare system. I schedule appointments and assist patients who come in to see providers of various departments, including massage therapy. Recently, I saw an alert about a patient who was scheduled to see a particular massage therapist that indicated he had been discharged from another clinic in the same healthcare system for sexual harassment. Part of my job is to review past appointments for patients, and I saw that in his written scheduling request, he self-identified as a convicted sex offen…

A reader writes: I’m a manager of a four-person team, on which I was previously an individual contributor. The four team members work in cubes in an open office area and my office is down a nearby hall. We’re a casual office, and the team generally gets along well. While each person has their own accounts and tasks, they interact with each other throughout the day, chatting and discussing work. The issue is two members of the team, Peach and Daisy. Peach is very open with her mental health struggles and is an open book on most anything but can be emotionally volatile. Daisy, who sits next to Peach, tells me that Peach is constantly on an emotional rollercoaster. She say…

Breakups are miserable under the best of circumstances. But when the person you’re breaking up with is also a coworker, welcome to a new layer of hell: instead of getting distance, you still have to see each other every day, smile politely in meetings, and pretend nothing is wrong while coexisting professionally in an office that now feels charged with history. At Slate today, I wrote about office breakups. You can read it here. The post you can’t go no-contact with someone you share a printer with appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: My fully remote company just announced that our mandatory, weekly, hour-long, all-staff Zoom meeting will now be required to be camera on and mic on for all 60+ attendees. It seems like they’re trying to recreate the feeling of us all being in person. However, to me, and to I imagine a lot of people, the new requirements sound like literal torture. This seems like a perfect “push back as a group” situation … but I don’t know how to do that in a remote setting. While I suspect my manager would also find this new requirement bonkers, I’m not so sure about his boss. I’m mostly an independent contributor, so I don’t have much incidental interaction with oth…

A reader writes: As a manager, new parent, and generally busy person, I work some strange hours. For example, yesterday I was online at 2 am (as my daughter woke me up during the night and I decided to use some time to clear my work inbox ahead of a busy Monday) and 10 pm (as I finished early to play with my daughter but needed to meet a deadline). I don’t expect these kinds of hours from my team or want to encourage people to work outside of hours if it doesn’t suit them, but sometimes these are the hours that suit me! What can and should I do to make it clear that what I do isn’t what I expect from the team and that following my example won’t have any impact on my opi…

A reader writes: Recently my manager asked me to help revise a job posting and the hiring process because the last two people we hired left only a few weeks after starting. One said she didn’t think our workplace had a professional environment, and the other said she realized her values didn’t align with the company. Since I’m the most recent successful hire, my manager wants me to help her understand what was different about how I was selected. You’re probably assuming my workplace must be toxic or terrible, but honestly it’s the most fun place I’ve ever worked, and that might actually be the problem. Nothing about it fits the usual idea of a bad workplace, but it is d…

A reader writes: I manage an employee who, to put it frankly, has a bad attitude. Negative about everything: our job, our clients, life in general. A constant rain cloud. He brings down morale quite a bit, and other employees have made comments to me about how hard it is to work with him. Where I struggle is that I have a lot of sympathy for him and the many health problems he has been facing the last few years. He was in a car accident that he sustained pretty big injuries from, was diagnosed with a chronic disease which causes him constant pain, and also has had to deal with the sudden loss of a sibling. I feel like I would kind of hate the world, too. How do I addres…

A reader writes: I manage two departments, each led by a supervisor — one a married man and the other a single woman. While I work in a separate building, I’ve received numerous reports from my boss, peers, and direct reports regarding their behavior. They are inseparable: taking all breaks together, sharing a single desk, whispering closely, and staying late whenever the other does. The optics have become a significant distraction. Seven different people — including those outside our organization — have commented on the inappropriateness of their closeness, with some making “get a room” jokes. While their deliverables aren’t egregiously late, I often experience delays…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker got promoted and I didn’t even get to interview for it I’ve been in my job about five years. I’m in a specialized role in my large organization, along with Rachel, who I helped hire and train. We each handle separate areas. It’s been rewarding work, and I feel like I’ve found something I’m good at. I like the mission, and the pay and benefits are good. But the office politics are a struggle for me, and we’ve been going through some big changes with a reorganization and significant leadership changes. As part of the reorganization, last year Rachel and I were absorbed into a different department. While I g…

A reader writes: I had an awkward moment the other day with a client and it made me think that others have probably made similar mistakes, and it could be fun to hear from everyone. I’m a lawyer and working with a client preparing to testify about their innocence after being in jail for decades. I was in the prison working with him earlier this week, and he was doing really great work, and as feedback I kept telling him he was “killing it!” As in, “You’re killing it!” And, “Great job killing it!” Alison, he’s unfairly in jail for murder and has been his whole adult life. I know that, and yet for the life of me Could. Not. Stop. Saying. It. In my subsequent reflection a…

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. What to do about serious problems you never see firsthand (#2 at the link) Great advice and so many great responses – thank you! it is indeed nonprofit early childhood education, with infant, toddler and preschool classrooms. I got two big things from this conversation – I am indeed not crazy, this is a solvable problem. And I got some strong language for how to name what is going on and try to shift things next time. Here is what I ended up doing this time: With this director there had been a previous situation where I had looped in the supervisor, and the director was upset, why hadn’t I talked to her, she thought w…

A reader writes: My brother-in-law works for a company of about 600, with branches of 80 or so in several cities across North America. His department had three employees who served their branch in an HR-type capacity. One employee moved, leaving only him and his manager to handle their caseload. This was okay. Then the manager left. The branch managers called my brother-in-law in and told him that he was now the acting manager but there would be no pay raise “at this time” but they appreciated his work and knew he could handle this opportunity. While the caseload on him went up, he was able to shift work to other branches so there were no late nights or long hours. Stil…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Is it out of touch to expect student workers to check their email? I work at a fairly small college, and I’m noticing that more and more students aren’t checking or responding to their email regularly. Some of my colleagues say that they have to text the students in order to get a response. I really don’t want to do that unless it’s a time-sensitive situation. My instinct is to tell the students (the ones who work for me anyway) that email is still a really normal business tool and they need to get used to it because it will be part of their professional lives for a while to come. But I also recognize that I’ve worked…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – March 20, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: This Is Not About Us, by Allegra Goodman. An estrangement between two sisters over apple cake affects three generations of a family over decades. Each chapter explores a different family member, but all the stories are interconnected. I loved it. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – March 21-22, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker overheard me complaining about them I have a new-ish colleague, Jaime, who I feel hasn’t really been pulling their weight. I was talking to someone else in the office about a project we’re working on and how I thought Jaime would be leading the project but that they were pushing all of the work onto other people when the project is what Jaime was hired for. I know my tone was very negative about Jaime during the conversation. Well, I didn’t realize Jaime was in the office that day and am pretty sure they overheard the conversation. I ran into Jaime later that day and they gave me a sad look, but did not sa…

A reader writes: I do communications and marketing and would love your advice on something that happened my first time managing a team. I had a marketing assistant, “Kitty,” who was very earnest and a brand new grad from the fancy university in town. She was good at visuals (so the promotional graphics and fliers touting our products on social media) but less so on writing up the descriptions needed for a company like ours. Typical interactions would go like this: Kitty’s draft: CompanyName just released a new line of teapots inspired by London. The teapot are red. Me, when, reviewing drafts: This is a good start, but let’s try to make these teapots sound like the be…

A reader writes: I don’t like being interrupted when I’m speaking, but it seems that everyone I manage interrupts me when I’m in the middle of speaking, even including a brand new employee who is constantly finishing my statements! In the past, I’ve said things such as “what I was saying was…” or “hang on, I wasn’t quite done” and it works at that moment but not long-term. How can I let people know that I don’t appreciate being interrupted without being rude myself? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You…

A reader writes: I know salary negotiation is typically acceptable, expected, and wise, and I even did recruiting for a year or so. But I’m job hunting again, and I’ve never seen this question on an application before: “To ensure equitable compensation, we benchmark salaries against nonprofits of similar size and budget, because of this, we don’t negotiate salaries. The salary for this role is $96,650. Please confirm that this aligns with your desired salary expectations.” (Dropdown: “Yes, I understand that the salary for this role is $96,650.”) Does this mean I shouldn’t ever bring it up? Also, related: Say the salary is below market rate or a huge range, and you kno…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Candidate used a slur during a job interview I’m the hiring manager for a position at a nonprofit. The role has a lot of in-person interaction with clients, so we are looking for people who are well-spoken. One of our candidates used a lesser known slur during her interview. I won’t say what the slur was, but it’s a term to indicate being duped or swindled, and the word comes from the name of an ethnic group. I didn’t address it in the moment, but I can’t stop thinking about it. How would you have handled this? And, should this error carry weight? On one hand, I understand that when you’re speaking on the fly like in …

A reader writes: One of the directors at my company, Meredith, has been undergoing executive coaching sessions for around six months. These are supposed to be to give her management coaching and experience, as she currently has none and has three direct reports, including me. However, it’s come to light that instead of using these sessions to learn how to manage and learn leadership skills, she’s essentially been using them as free therapy/counsellng and has been aggressively running down members of the team instead! One of the members of the team accidentally discovered the full transcripts from Meredith’s sessions on our company cloud — in a public folder, not even h…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. How can I manage digs about remote working and return-to-office? I’m a woman in my 60s, and before Covid I was doing a long, multi‑leg commute five days a week. Working primarily from home has dramatically improved my health, energy, productivity, and ability to manage everyday life. However, now my workplace is requiring us to be in the office more, and I’m not sure how to handle a few friends who make unsupportive comments about it. Most of my friends understand and are considerate, but a small group repeatedly dismisses my concerns. They tell me to retire, “suck it up,” or insist that office work is better for coll…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Lake Effect, by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney. When two neighbors have an affair, the effects reverberate on their families, and particularly their children, for years. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – March 28-29, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – March 27, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss is getting rid of everyone’s favorite part of my program for no good reason I manage an educational program that is part of a larger organization. My boss is medium crappy. He’s not abusive, but not a good manager or leader. Thankfully he doesn’t interact with my program more than occasionally. Right now, he is making me get rid of the most popular part of my program. For the sake of anonymity, let’s say it’s a small bouncy house (it’s not). Adults and kids love the bouncy house. People comment on it walking by. It takes minimal money to run. Admittedly it requires some daily labor, but I’m on site anyway and …