Performance Tracking and Feedback

In addition to the new “sagas” tag (for letters with multiple updates, twists, and turns), we now have the following tags as well: AAM classics – a tag for posts that are still frequently discussed years later. It includes the new hire who built a blanket fort in her office, the new boss who was a ghosted ex from years before, the coworker who wanted everyone to call her boyfriend her “master,” the spicy food thief, and many more. Favorites – some of my favorite posts over the years. Worst Boss of the Year Nominee – now every finalist for Worst Boss of the Year has been tagged and you can read about these degenerates all in one place. These are tags, not categories, …

Last week we talked about the smallest amount of power you’ve ever seen someone abuse. But people can also use even small amounts of power for good — like the crossing guard who wasn’t really a crossing guard, or the graphic designer who sabotaged a homophobic group’s ad in her newspaper. This week, let’s talk about times when you’ve seen someone exploit their power for good — not just times when you saw someone be a good person at work, but times when someone violated the letter or the spirit of a rule or otherwise did something that could technically be considered under-handed in order to achieve good in the world. Please share in the comments! The post let’s talk abo…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My old employer wants me back I recently switched jobs from an in-office position to a fully remote position due to it being a better fit for my life. When I resigned, my work made it extremely hard for me to leave. They offered me fully remote (when previously they would not allow me to even work from home when my kids were sick) and a $20,000 salary bump. I was exasperated with the whole situation and decided to stay the course with my new gig. Fast forward a month and they are contacting me weekly asking me if I’m ready to come back yet — everybody from the billing manager to the practice manager. I mentioned to my…

A reader writes: I am currently looking for a new job because I am currently being taken advantage of … again (being given more and more work because I am skilled enough I handle it, but no pay increase so underpaid for my experience and the world we live in right now). So pay is the main factor for me in this job search. My first instinct is to just completely ignore the job postings without the pay listed because I don’t want to waste my time. A job may look perfect but if it’s for the same amount I’m making now (or less!) or not that much more, I don’t care what it is. (I also don’t care what it is if the pay is right. If I think I can do it, I’m applying.) But with …

A reader writes: Over the past year, I have been coaching my employee, “Mike,” on various performance issues and it has gotten to the point that we need a formal performance improvement plan. I don’t think this should be a surprise to him, but I’m getting the impression that he does not really understand how serious it is. We have very different communication styles. I prefer to be direct and detailed. Mike tends to use generalizations and can take a long time to think and gather his thoughts before answering a question. I’ve been working on softening my approach and asking clarifying questions to make sure we are on the same page, but things still get lost in translati…

A reader writes: I am a localized executive director for a nationwide nonprofit. Like so many not-for-profits under the current uncertain administration, we are going through some extreme financial strains. Our national office has been tightening belts all over the organization, including layoffs, frantic leadership calls that include a certain amount of crying when delivering yet another slate of difficult news, and frequent lane-shifting of priorities to the point where others in roles like mine are fleeing the sinking ship. Job descriptions are all changing to almost exclusively fundraising, even in roles that didn’t include it before, and the goals are simply not ach…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker who (probably) has a crush keeps hanging out at my desk I was hoping I could get your advice on dealing with a coworker who won’t leave me alone (“Greg”) and is making me increasingly uncomfortable. I’m a woman in my 20s and Greg is a decade older than me. He asked me out a few months ago and I rejected him, and he hasn’t asked me out since. We are under the same organization and our work overlaps somewhat. Greg works in another building and frequently comes over to mine. While he says he has meetings in my building, he will often come to my desk and sit next to me to chat. He starts awkward, banal conversati…

A reader writes: I manage the recruiting of volunteers for a small nonprofit, and there’s an otherwise strong candidate, Jane, who has a past on the Internet. Another volunteer and I interviewed her Jane an open position, and it was wonderful. She presented herself as warm, professional, and knowledgeable in our work, and she was one of my top choices. However, a different volunteer recognized Jane because of a small “incident” that had happened at the volunteer’s alma mater, and the volunteer showed me evidence of what happened online. Six years ago, Jane’s then-high-school-aged sister had applied for a university in the midwest and wanted to be on a particular sports …

A reader writes: I’m a new-ish manager in a small company. I have two direct reports. One is professional and a joy to work with. The other is a recent hire (he’s been here two months) who is right out of college, Jake. In our most recent weekly one-on-one, Jake told me that he is “disappointed in the role” and the work is “not as interesting as he hoped.” I can understand how someone could find much of the work tedious. There’s a significant amount of data entry in the position. But I never hid this. I was clear with every candidate I interviewed that there would be tedious tasks and screened for people who seemed able to figure out strategies for handling that tedium.…

A reader writes: In February, I changed companies and took on a manager position for the first time as the current manager was being promoted. While the exiting manager introduced me to the different people I would be supervising I was taken aback when “Benjamin” immediately assured me that despite looking like he was 21 or 22, he had worked there for years. If you had asked me to guess his age, I would have said 41 or 42. In the moment I was stunned, not sure if it was a joke, and just said I looked forward to working with him. Later the exiting manager told me that he’s been doing that for years. The first time at a lunch meeting with a potential client, Benjamin made…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker reacts out loud when reading about politics I work at a front desk position at a cultural institution, and usually there is a lot of down time at my job. I love this aspect of the job and usually spend several hours a day reading. There are almost always two people on staff, so there are a few different people I will work alongside for the entire day. One of my coworkers verbally reacts to a lot of things that they are looking at during this otherwise quiet time. This person will laugh abruptly and very loudly, or will make comments into the silence like “oh wow” or “ew, that’s horrible.” Sometimes these r…

Last week we talked about the smallest amount of power you’ve ever seen someone abuse, and here are 18 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The pizza revenge The office assistant asked me what pizza I wanted when she was ordering for an event. I told her specifically I liked the one they had gotten the week before and described it. She never ordered that pizza again. 2. The very secure kitchen I learned early on in a new job that ONE person other than security and the C-suite had the key to the boardroom. I also learned that somehow everyone in my department had pissed off the key holder, and I was now the designated person to bow down and request the key. One night…

A reader writes: I’m a manager at a large organization and am almost always in the midst of a recruitment process for one role or another. Our hiring and interview guides are built to stop as much bias from creeping in as possible. In practice, this means that I usually have a set of questions that I plan to ask all candidates, and then I leave time for candidates’ questions. Unless they ask our recruiter, they don’t generally get given any information on the format ahead of time, nor are they asked to prepare anything. Today, however, I was surprised. A candidate walked into the interview room with his laptop and, after pleasantries, proceeded to tell me he had a prese…

A reader writes: I work for a woman who is very highly respected. She is very smart and has accomplished a lot in her life. She also has had a few missteps in her past like anyone has and, although I do not know the extent of some of her previous failures, I feel I can partly link them to her business partner. She runs the day-to-day operations of the company I work at, and her business partner is mainly the financial backing to her current and her previous companies. My boss does speaking engagements and is very women-empowering, especially to women of a certain age and women of color. Her business partner, however, is very crude; he speaks down to me and all of my pe…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My well-intentioned coworker keeps commenting on my phone calls I sit in a bank of cubicles with a young colleague in his first ever job. He’s very sweet and well-intentioned, but his efforts at making conversation are making me a little uncomfortable. For context, I am about two levels above him in our hierarchy, but he’s in a completely different business group and our work has no overlap whatsoever. I do not know anyone else on his team — we sit in an “miscellaneous overflow” section of the office (which is not ideal, but not currently changeable). Every day, he comments on how many meetings I have and what my sche…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Back After This, by Linda Holmes. A podcast producer who’s been wanting to host her own show gets offered the chance to do it … but she has to agree to let the show be about her dating life and to work with a relationship coach and influencer, of whom she’s highly skeptical. It’s smart and funny, and I looked forward to reading it every night and was sad when it was over. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – May 3-…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – May 2, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Know-it-all coworker talks over everyone (and is often wrong) We have a new employee, “Sam,” who thinks she knows everything. She has lots of experience in a closely related field, but has never done this specific job, nor has she worked in our region (the details of our work are location-specific.) Whenever someone speaks, Sam jumps into the conversation. It does not matter if the speaker was clearly addressing someone else. Sam talks over people, interrupts, and answers questions that were not directed toward her. When she does this, she is condescending and rude, and very confidently dispenses wrong information. Sh…

A reader writes: I was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago, and this past January, my company decided that all “hybrid” employees (my whole team is considered hybrid) need to be in the office a minimum of three days per week. I didn’t think I could do it, but I wanted to try before I said anything. I’ve tried for several weeks and found that I definitely can’t do three days in a row. But I’m also having a really hard time coming in for the third (non-consecutive) day, so I asked for the accommodation of coming in two days per week, which is a pretty typical accommodation for people with ADHD. My therapist wrote a letter about the situation, and I included it with my re…

Here’s a round-up of advice about how to navigate a job offer — evaluating it, accepting it, declining it, negotiating, and more. how to negotiate salary, benefits, start date, and more you should ask for more money when you get a job offer. here’s how. negotiating a start date with a company that’s moving slowly while pressuring me to start soon how to ask for more vacation time everything you need to know about time off when you start a new job don’t forget to scrutinize benefits when you’re considering a job offer how to negotiate a different title when accepting a job can I negotiate a later schedule before accepting a job? assessing the offer 7 questions to…

Remember the person whose company accountant was nitpicking his travel expenses to the point of responding to a $12 Chipotle tab with,”Ordering extra guacamole is wasteful of member dues”? Or the weeks-long battle about the purchase of a $10 calculator? Or the admin who wouldn’t give anyone a new pen unless you turned in your old, used-up pen first? And then there were these: • • • • I have had two different colleagues in two different jobs repeatedly change their signature blocks within hours of their boss being out of the office. One of them would change his signature block to “Acting Deputy Spokesperson” every time his boss took even an afternoon off to…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My remote team does annoying ice-breakers in all our meetings My fully remote team has a habit of arranging quite annoying ice breakers/team building exercises for our meetings. In the past these have included: draw your mood on the whiteboard, guess the song and sing a few bars, and others which I find too intrusive and infantile for a work context (they honestly seem like activities you would do with small children). These activities are arranged by the team admin, but seem to have the approval of the team manager. Other team members look uncomfortable during these activities, but because of our relationship (we mos…

A reader writes: Does HR-mandated manager training actually work, ever? I had a director whose behavior veered week-to-week from overbearing to toxic to straight-up illegal. He was very savvy and never put any of the worst stuff in writing. When confronted, he claimed that he was misinterpreted or blamed the language barrier (English is not his native language). However, it’s hard to misinterpret statements such as “how can we force this employee to take less parental leave?” (the employee was taking the amount offered by the company’s own policy and protected by the FMLA) or “this employee’s (supposedly anonymous) company survey results were not very good; you need to …

A reader writes: I feel it is non-negotiable that — except for cases of emergency, sick kids, or traffic jams — employees should be at work on time the vast majority of days. This means getting to work about 10 minutes early in time to hang up a coat, use the bathroom, etc., and be at one’s desk when the hour begins. I feel like most employees and many managers do not so much care about this or, if they do, they don’t say anything to late employees. I have worked with colleagues who regularly show up 10-20 minutes late and no one seems to care. I’m not talking about flex-time jobs. Are my standards old-fashioned? I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. …

A reader writes: I hired a new employee because she is clearly smart and her ideas align with where we want to take our team. But her approach to the job is rude, overwhelming, and sometimes insulting. I hired “Dorothy” for a job for which she has extensive experience, but absolutely none within our industry. We work in a highly technical field, and it takes a long time to learn the space. We often suggest about a year to get comfortable. We set the expectation that Dorothy would eventually take over the team she’s joining — the current team lead has his hands full and will appreciate passing things off — but not before she spends a year working with us and learning th…