Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I don’t like being interrupted when I’m speaking, but it seems that everyone I manage interrupts me when I’m in the middle of speaking, even including a brand new employee who is constantly finishing my statements! In the past, I’ve said things such as “what I was saying was…” or “hang on, I wasn’t quite done” and it works at that moment but not long-term. How can I let people know that I don’t appreciate being interrupted without being rude myself? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You…

A reader writes: I do communications and marketing and would love your advice on something that happened my first time managing a team. I had a marketing assistant, “Kitty,” who was very earnest and a brand new grad from the fancy university in town. She was good at visuals (so the promotional graphics and fliers touting our products on social media) but less so on writing up the descriptions needed for a company like ours. Typical interactions would go like this: Kitty’s draft: CompanyName just released a new line of teapots inspired by London. The teapot are red. Me, when, reviewing drafts: This is a good start, but let’s try to make these teapots sound like the be…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker overheard me complaining about them I have a new-ish colleague, Jaime, who I feel hasn’t really been pulling their weight. I was talking to someone else in the office about a project we’re working on and how I thought Jaime would be leading the project but that they were pushing all of the work onto other people when the project is what Jaime was hired for. I know my tone was very negative about Jaime during the conversation. Well, I didn’t realize Jaime was in the office that day and am pretty sure they overheard the conversation. I ran into Jaime later that day and they gave me a sad look, but did not sa…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: This Is Not About Us, by Allegra Goodman. An estrangement between two sisters over apple cake affects three generations of a family over decades. Each chapter explores a different family member, but all the stories are interconnected. I loved it. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – March 21-22, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – March 20, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Is it out of touch to expect student workers to check their email? I work at a fairly small college, and I’m noticing that more and more students aren’t checking or responding to their email regularly. Some of my colleagues say that they have to text the students in order to get a response. I really don’t want to do that unless it’s a time-sensitive situation. My instinct is to tell the students (the ones who work for me anyway) that email is still a really normal business tool and they need to get used to it because it will be part of their professional lives for a while to come. But I also recognize that I’ve worked…

A reader writes: My brother-in-law works for a company of about 600, with branches of 80 or so in several cities across North America. His department had three employees who served their branch in an HR-type capacity. One employee moved, leaving only him and his manager to handle their caseload. This was okay. Then the manager left. The branch managers called my brother-in-law in and told him that he was now the acting manager but there would be no pay raise “at this time” but they appreciated his work and knew he could handle this opportunity. While the caseload on him went up, he was able to shift work to other branches so there were no late nights or long hours. Stil…

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. What to do about serious problems you never see firsthand (#2 at the link) Great advice and so many great responses – thank you! it is indeed nonprofit early childhood education, with infant, toddler and preschool classrooms. I got two big things from this conversation – I am indeed not crazy, this is a solvable problem. And I got some strong language for how to name what is going on and try to shift things next time. Here is what I ended up doing this time: With this director there had been a previous situation where I had looped in the supervisor, and the director was upset, why hadn’t I talked to her, she thought w…

A reader writes: I had an awkward moment the other day with a client and it made me think that others have probably made similar mistakes, and it could be fun to hear from everyone. I’m a lawyer and working with a client preparing to testify about their innocence after being in jail for decades. I was in the prison working with him earlier this week, and he was doing really great work, and as feedback I kept telling him he was “killing it!” As in, “You’re killing it!” And, “Great job killing it!” Alison, he’s unfairly in jail for murder and has been his whole adult life. I know that, and yet for the life of me Could. Not. Stop. Saying. It. In my subsequent reflection a…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker got promoted and I didn’t even get to interview for it I’ve been in my job about five years. I’m in a specialized role in my large organization, along with Rachel, who I helped hire and train. We each handle separate areas. It’s been rewarding work, and I feel like I’ve found something I’m good at. I like the mission, and the pay and benefits are good. But the office politics are a struggle for me, and we’ve been going through some big changes with a reorganization and significant leadership changes. As part of the reorganization, last year Rachel and I were absorbed into a different department. While I g…

A reader writes: I manage two departments, each led by a supervisor — one a married man and the other a single woman. While I work in a separate building, I’ve received numerous reports from my boss, peers, and direct reports regarding their behavior. They are inseparable: taking all breaks together, sharing a single desk, whispering closely, and staying late whenever the other does. The optics have become a significant distraction. Seven different people — including those outside our organization — have commented on the inappropriateness of their closeness, with some making “get a room” jokes. While their deliverables aren’t egregiously late, I often experience delays…

A reader writes: I manage an employee who, to put it frankly, has a bad attitude. Negative about everything: our job, our clients, life in general. A constant rain cloud. He brings down morale quite a bit, and other employees have made comments to me about how hard it is to work with him. Where I struggle is that I have a lot of sympathy for him and the many health problems he has been facing the last few years. He was in a car accident that he sustained pretty big injuries from, was diagnosed with a chronic disease which causes him constant pain, and also has had to deal with the sudden loss of a sibling. I feel like I would kind of hate the world, too. How do I addres…

A reader writes: Recently my manager asked me to help revise a job posting and the hiring process because the last two people we hired left only a few weeks after starting. One said she didn’t think our workplace had a professional environment, and the other said she realized her values didn’t align with the company. Since I’m the most recent successful hire, my manager wants me to help her understand what was different about how I was selected. You’re probably assuming my workplace must be toxic or terrible, but honestly it’s the most fun place I’ve ever worked, and that might actually be the problem. Nothing about it fits the usual idea of a bad workplace, but it is d…

A reader write: I’ve been subject to our disciplinary process at work for the last two months, relating to issues such as “forgot to fill in a spreadsheet” and “didn’t ask for help quickly enough,” among other claims that all compound each other (one issue caused another, etc.). I have provided context during the disciplinary process and flagged that while I don’t disagree that there are occasional issues with my work, I would have expected it to be raised informally first (they went immediately to a disciplinary process while threatening dismissal). My supervisor, Linda, has provided a number of the allegations and supporting evidence (screenshots of personal chats, et…

A reader writes: A few months ago, we had to do an “about me” presentation during a department meeting— we had to post pictures of our families and give a brief description of our interests/who we are. I’m not a big fan of these things for several reasons. One is that I would prefer to keep my family life out of work, and one is that it can cause discrimination, which is the reason I’m writing. I’m white, my husband is black, and my kids are obviously mixed. Literally the day after my presentation where I posted my family picture, my manager, supervisor, and some coworkers have changed how they treat me. I don’t jump to discrimination right away, but I don’t know what e…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Why do people feel so passionate about physically handing out their resume? Why do people get so defensive over the concept of physically handing out resumes? I was at my off-season part-time retail job, and a young man came in with a stack of resumes; it was obvious that his mom was sitting out front in the truck, driving him around to all of the businesses in the plaza. After I had directed him to apply online, where, like any other company in 2026, we do all of our hiring, I said to my coworker, “I really wish people wouldn’t do that. Like, just tell me you’re out of touch.” She said, “Do what?” I replied, “Driv…

A reader writes: I work in a close-knit workplace where we try to be supportive of each other’s struggles. This has resulted in some people having new positions created for them when they are not medically or emotionally able to handle the one they are currently in, often with raises and perks like being able to work from home, a private office, choosing their own hours, etc. While this sounds wonderful and equitable, it leaves some of us, okay, me, feeling a little resentful. I’m a private person! I don’t want to be the squeaky wheel. I pride myself on being self-sufficient and a model employee. I love the people I work with and the work I do. I find it rewarding and w…

A reader writes: I was hired about six months ago at a prestigious organization in my field. My coworker, Fred, started at the same time in a similar position. We work closely and we get along well, for the most part. I consider him something of a friend — or, at least, I felt that way until recently. We have been working together on a big report that needs to get done in the next few months. Last week, I had been working on other projects and logged back our the shared file to begin work again. We were sitting together and as I was logging in, he said (unprompted) that he had been hard at work on the report and updated and added information to a key section. I noticed …

A reader writes: I’m looking for some serious help navigating an issue. An employee at my company is likely to be transferred to my team. This person was arrested last year for soliciting a minor for sex. They are related to the CEO of the company and were bailed out. They will stand trial sometime in the near future. If anyone else were facing these charges, they would have been let go. This person has not and now I may have to deal with them on my team. I think the company’s stance is “innocent until proven guilty,” which I sort of get, but he was caught in a police sting where he was having explicit conversations with an officer posing as a teenager so public percept…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. We have one bathroom key for 18 women My workplace is moving offices next week, and our bathroom situation is changing dramatically. We’re going from five unlocked unisex bathrooms to two gendered restrooms of two cubicles each, shared with other tenants of the floor. Those bathrooms will be locked, and for our entire 25 person staff, there is one key for each gender. (I am given to understand the matter of additional keys would cost management extra, and they are … skinflints.) The trouble comes in a couple factors. One, my office is predominantly female, so we’re going to have a lot more demand for our key than the …

A reader writes: I work in healthcare and my colleagues and I are confused about what behavior crosses the line and can be classified as “abusive.” We are a small workplace and therefore don’t have high up HR/management to ask. The owner of the surgery also finds this a grey zone. For example, I was supposed to be doing some treatment on a patient but our entire computer system was down for two days, so no access to notes, X-rays, etc. It was a disaster, but out of our hands. We decided we would not be able to do treatments on anyone who needed anything more than a quick review. But we had no way of even knowing who was coming in to be able to cancel patients in advanc…

A reader writes: One of my employees, “Brenda,” is a sweet, kind, sensitive, empathetic soul. A self-described empath, she cries easily and is a feeler’s feeler. (She feels things about my life that I don’t even feel!) She gets emotional when given any sort of feedback that isn’t glowing (and even sometimes over feedback that is glowing) and when Brenda realizes that she has caused a problem of some sort – regardless of how small – she is often teary-eyed for the rest of the day. Until recently, I’ve been able to manage her fairly effectively, but now I’m unsure of how to set expectations without sounding particularly heartless. Brenda is in the midst of a highly emotio…

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. A medical tech repeatedly proselytized to me I had an appointment with my doctor this morning and told him that one of the techs had made me uncomfortable by repeatedly discussing her religious beliefs with me even after I directly asked that she not. I used the phrasing a couple of commenters suggested — that she essentially was telling me that if I accepted Jesus into my life, my mental health would improve. My doctor thanked me for telling him, apologized for my experience, and said that he would make sure that this behavior would not happen again with me or other patients. Interestingly, he did not ask me which tec…

A reder writes: Over the past few years, my responsibilities have grown well beyond my original job description. I now manage procurement end-to-end, track budgets, support multiple project managers, and draft reports. This expansion has happened informally — no title change, no pay adjustment, and no formal acknowledgement of the shift in scope. What’s making it harder is that after four years in the role, my team lead has openly said they don’t really understand procurement. As a result, I often feel like I’m operating without informed oversight or support, yet I’m still accountable when something is questioned. Recently, I attended what I thought was a general catch…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. HR wants me to give someone a bad review they don’t deserve, to cover up HR’s own mistake I am a manager for a small team of engineers. One of my direct reports was given a new role that was supposed to come with a promotion and pay bump this year. It turned out that our local HR did not have the authority to actually increase his payband and rebranded the new role as a “lateral move.” Now reviews are due, and I am being told to artificially give another person on my team a bad review so that we can give a larger raise to the person who took on a new role. It feels really bad and unethical to do this. Especially sinc…