Performance Tracking and Feedback

As we approach to the season of office potlucks, catered parties, and other holiday meals with coworkers, let’s discuss the many ways in which they can go wrong — from alarming cuisine to cheap-ass rolls to riots over the chili cook-off to tantrums over insufficiently abundant shrimp. Please share your stories of potlucks, cooking competitions, catered parties, and other office meals gone awry! The post when office potlucks and catered parties go wrong appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I have an older male coworker who frequently asks me about my office hours and makes comments about my presence in the office. To provide some context, my department has a flexible attendance policy, while his department requires that he be in the office five days a week. I suspect his comments are passive-aggressive, especially since he has previously complained resentfully to me about other team members’ attendance and about his own in-office requirements. Some examples of comments he’s made to me: “What is your in-office schedule? Because I never know when you’re here.” “Are you in the office today, because I came to your desk earlier, but you were…

A reader writes: Hopefully this is a non-issue very soon, but I was wondering what ideas you’ve encountered or heard of that might be helpful. I am a manager of a small to medium-sized federal office. We are in furlough but required to work. While most of my employees are okay financially at the moment, we have three or four (and probably one or two who are private) who are being hit hard, and with SNAP benefits seemingly going away this is going to be a real issue for them and their families. We have certain ethical boundaries we can’t cross, and I don’t want to single any one out. But I can’t let my employees go hungry. Have you heard of any creative ideas that I mig…

A couple of years ago, someone shared what I consider to be the best holiday date story of all time, and it must be shared here again. Enjoy: When I was fresh out of college, a dude in my social circle invited me to his fancy work Christmas party. He was a teacher, so I’d kind of assumed I was there as friend to act as a buffer between well-intentioned female colleagues who wanted to set him up with one another, with their daughters, etc. I was wrong! This invitation to a work Christmas party was meant to be the first date of a magical relationship between two people destined to be together. Why a magical relationship? When I opened the door, he said he’d hope we’d have …

A reader writes: Our local business group/Chamber of Commerce had a luncheon today to hand out awards to the business community. My business was nominated and picked for an award. As I only have four employees, I closed the business for the afternoon and had them join me for the lunch and award ceremony. As the luncheon was finishing up, I left the room to go get my picture taken with the other award winners and then left. I had let my employees know they could leave at anytime and would see them tomorrow. Shortly after I got back to my office, I received a text from a fellow friend/business owner, saying I had better check out the Chamber’s Facebook page. When I looke…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. I’m panicking in my new job (#3 at the link) Thank you again for taking the time to respond to my letter. I really appreciated your advice, and I’m also really grateful for the commenters. I screenshotted a lot of their kind words to reread when I was second guessing myself. So … I did end up quitting that job after a month without having something lined up. Things spiraled pretty quickly after I got your response. I was repeatedly assigned tasks I had no experience in, ask…

We recently discussed very big office battles over very small things, and here are 15 of the funniest stories you shared. 1. The new broker A couple of years ago, we changed benefit brokers. Not benefits, just the brokers. We sent out a quick announcement and had them come in so everyone could meet them. This did not affect people’s coverage. They actually got a dedicated phone number they could use for issues. People went bananas. Like we killed their brother. They liked the old broker. How could we be so disloyal? Why do they need a special phone number, they used to be able to just email the broker? This is going to be a disaster. Readers, it wasn’t a disaster. Our…

It’s the final round of the Worst Boss of 2025 voting. We’ve narrowed the pool from eight nominees to two (see results from the first round and second round). The two finalists go head-to-head below. A Frightful Face-Off – The Nominees: the CEO keeps asking young male employees to try her breast milk my company makes summer interns wear bikinis If the voting isn’t showing up for you, you can also vote directly here. The post vote for the worst boss of 2025: the finals appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – December 13-14, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering whether to write a list of rules so a colleague, Paul, would treat them decently? Here’s the update. I’ve recently taken a step that commenters had advised — leaving the group. Getting Paul to leave (your excellent advice) wasn’t an option, though perhaps me leaving will push things in that direction. I alerted five people to why I was leaving, and a number of them seem to be realizing that the grou…

Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared about holidays at work over the past month. 1. The succulent For several years I managed a team who were all at individual satellite offices. During my site visits over the holidays, I gave them all little gift baskets which included a small, fake succulent (most of the offices didn’t have windows). On a subsequent visit about six months later, I found out that one employee had been watering hers every day, and was proud to show me how healthy it still looked. Fortunately, she thought it was hilarious when she found out it was artificial, and it brought the whole team a lot of joy. 2. The panda onesie Our new vice preside…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Can I report my coworker’s drunken, racist aggression outside of work? My two coworkers and I discussed the weekend’s events and ended up reporting the incident with Fergus the very next day. My boss was horrified and immediately had him sent on a flight back to his home country that evening, and told Fergus’s manager that regardless of the outcome, he was not welcome in our country program again and he wanted another teammate assigned to our program. It turns out, Fergus h…

A reader writes: Sending in a question I truly never thought I would have to ask: what are some things that my organization, as an employer, can do to help ensure staff safety in areas of increased and contentious ICE action? We have staff of Hispanic heritage (“present” Hispanic, names clearly of that background if ID or car registration were checked) who are frequently on the road for our organization. This includes many areas where they are an ethnic minority and which have colloquial reputations for profiling (but staff do not report previous issues) — and areas with increased, visible, concerning ICE enforcement. We’re talking large scale “operations” which seem to…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – November 14, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: My fiancé and I just broke up after 6.5 years together. The underlying factors contributing to the split had been percolating for a long time, but the actual break-up happened very suddenly and unexpectedly, and I’m in a lot of pain right now. I was wondering if you had any scripts for how to broach this subject at work. I’ve talked about my partner, his career, our upcoming wedding, etc. a lot to my coworkers, and many of them have met him. I don’t know how to now announce that we broke up without trauma-dumping, but obviously I can’t just pretend that we’re still together. I’m sorry! You don’t need to make a big announcement at all. You can simply s…

With aggressive ICE raids expanding to an increasing number of cities, I’m sharing the following guidance from a community organizer in Chicago about what to do if ICE shows up at your workplace. I’m in Chicago, which has been targeted aggressively by ICE and Border Patrol for the last two months. ICE actions are expanding into many other cities, and I wanted to share some resources and tips from our city’s experiences with your readers. Inc. has a solid article on the rights of business owners when ICE shows up. It’s important to know what your rights are, especially about private areas and documentation. However, ICE frequently and blatantly disregards legal limitatio…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose manager posted a “wall of shame” of people who didn’t volunteer to work more? Here’s the update. I wrote in a few years ago about a new supervisor and her approach to mandated “voluntary” overtime as a registered nurse in a hospital. Since then, that supervisor has stepped back into a staff nursing role and she’s happier for it. We’re still friends so I’m also happy about that! She’s a great nurse who tried a new role that wasn’t right for her. A new supervisor was hired from outside. She was…

A reader writes: I’ve worked part-time at this company for a little over a year. It’s my first job out of college. I work in events, so my hours can vary wildly — during the weeks leading up to an event, I can be working 35-45 hours a week, but the slow times can be 5-15 hours a week. I’ve been promoted once already since working here, about eight months in, to a role that was sort of invented for me. It’s very much a small, creative, wear-a-lot-of-hats kind of company. We have another big event coming up, and the event’s producer has approached me about taking on two additional roles for this project (in addition to my current one). In my current job, I’m responsible f…

A reader writes: I have managed someone, let’s call her Rachel, for over a year and a half. The majority of the experience has been negative — she’s rude, feeds on drama, and produces low-quality work. I’ve had several discussions with her on improving her performance. After a lot of painful experiences, she resigned while I was on vacation. She only gave a week’s notice, and since I’m on vacation we will only have two days overlap. I know as a manager I have the responsibility to be professional and courteous, but I can’t stomach the idea that we even have to interact at all on those two final days. I have even contemplated rescheduling our team meeting to the day afte…

A reader writes: I have worked in the evolving field of IT all of my four-decade career. Most of my jobs have been exempt from overtime, while my last few tech support / help desk positions have been non-exempt. I’ve always been a slower (and I think, more thorough) worker who needs more time to get my work done and who has no problem working late, even most evenings, to get the job done. This has been fine in my exempt positions, as I’ve had freedom to work as many hours as I want / need, and supervisors have mostly been quite pleased with my work. In my first couple of non-exempt roles, I would still work longer hours but leave the hours beyond 40 off of my time sheet…

Earlier this month we talked about work restaurant meals gone wrong, and here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The mistaken identity I (F) was in my mid-30s and traveling to work with a client. He had sent up a dinner that should have included five or six of us on the project. Everyone backed out except me, which is how I found myself at a cozy, fireside table for two at a dark but excellent Boston restaurant, drinking a glass of champagne. (I was in my bubbles era…) And who should happen to be dining there but his wife’s cousin, who barged up to the table wanting to know why he was sipping bubbly with me rather than hanging out at home with his extremely pr…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Everything Here Is Under Control, by Emily Adrian. Two estranged friends reunite when one is breaking under the strain of new motherhood. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – October 25-26, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

Last month we talked about signs of financial trouble you’ve seen at work — the early signs that foretold something worse was to come — and here are 12 interesting stories you shared. 1. The shrimp harbinger One place I worked at had a holiday party, and long-timers clocked that the size of the shrimp cocktail tower was an indication of the financial health of the company. Some years it was a four-tier ice sculpture piled with giant shrimp, some years it was a single platter of average shrimp. It became known as the “big shrimp party.” One year … no shrimp at all, and rumors started flying. A few months later there were layoffs. 2. The rug repo You know those rugs you…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – January 3-4, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I need to give feedback to someone who thinks they have imposter syndrome but really doesn’t know what they’re doing I work in a pretty varied team, say developing tea and teapots. I lead the teapots division, and I have a counterpart, Lee, who leads the tea division. In Lee’s tea division, Sam is in charge of rolling out a campaign for a new line of green teas, while Lee has only ever worked with the existing line of black teas, and has never run a campaign like this. Sam does not have much relevant experience at all, and doesn’t know what they don’t know. I on the other hand have been involved in new tea line develo…