Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My manager wants us to do a “mental health check” weekly Once a week, my new direct supervisor posts in our group Teams chat the following: “Good morning! Mental health check! Time to vent – how is everyone feeling?” I’m not sure if I should even respond, or not. However, I feel like it’s really a non-negotiable because she will keep asking. My first gut feeling is this: if I was feeling like I was having a tough time with work, I’d either have gone to you already, or addressed it with my therapist. “A mental health check” is not something that I’m going to discuss with my direct supervisor. How do you suggest I res…

Last week we talked about memorable impressions made by new hires. Here are 20 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The celebration At my husband’s old company, a new hire took a three-hour lunch on his first day. When a coworker asked where he’d been, new hire said he’d been at the strip club with his friends celebrating his new job. He reasoned that this was fine because “it’s just syllabus week right now.” He did not last long. 2. The carving Years ago we held an orientation for some new hires in the boardroom and one of them chose to carve his name into the table-top. It was his first and last day. 3. The Keurig annexation On a new guy’s first day, he took the…

If you’re getting ready to quit your job, you’re probably thinking a lot about how to tell your boss and your team that you’re leaving. But before you give anyone a heads-up, there are some things you need to do first. At New York Magazine today, I’ve got a checklist of 10 items to take care of before you quit. You can read it here. The post what to do before you quit your job: a checklist appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I am a senior manager on a team that does a back office function (think HR, finance, marketing). A seasoned manager, Rachael, reports to me and has a handful of staff members reporting to her. Our team is hybrid, requiring two in-office days, although we grant flexibility for temporary medical/childcare/life issues that come up. The operations we support are all in-office. Rachael recently told us that she is trying to move out of state and asked to work fully remote. She was candid about this potential move when she was hired several years ago and in subsequent conversations. Rachael is very experienced and previously held my position earlier in her ca…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My friend hired me but isn’t paying me what we agreed A friend of mine recently started a business, and I happened to be the perfect candidate for the job because it’s a very specific niche. I was working for someone else, and she asked me to work for her. I would be getting paid the same amount and working the same hours, so I agreed to work for her. Unfortunately, she hasn’t been holding up her end of the deal with pay, and the hours are way different than we initially discussed. The first few months I was understanding because business started slow, but months later I’m finding that nothing is changing. I also am fi…

The work on the site is (hopefully) complete, and comments are turned back on. Thanks for your patience the last few days as we ran into some bumps with a server migration. The post housekeeping update appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. The site is having some server issues today so while we work on those, here’s an older post. This was originally published in 2019. (And hopefully everything will be back to normal shortly.) A reader writes: I’m a mid-level college administrator. One of my direct reports is positioning himself to move up in a couple of years (from department member to department head). He would still report to me, but the working relationship would be a little different. I need to work closely with department heads, and it can have a major impact on my work and the organization if that relationship is toxic. The pro…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. As long as we have employers, we’ll also have managers who issue nonsensical or inefficient edicts — even when their employees point out a smarter way to go. Sometimes that’s because they’re more focused on control or appearances than on actual results. Sometimes it’s because they’re out of touch with the day-to-day realities of the work. And sometimes they’re just bad managers. Today at Slate, I wrote about how some irritated employees have learned to respond to these policies with “malicious compliance”: scrupulously doing exactly what they’re being told to do, but in a way that exposes the absurdit…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I refuse to pray with my religious client? I am a militantly non-religious person and have worked with a religion-based nonprofit as a consultant for a couple of years now. I am somewhat new to the workforce, and this is my first consulting gig. They have always asked me to pray with them and for them at the beginning and end of every meeting. Because I really needed the work, I went along with this, and they have the idea that I support what they do and follow their beliefs. However, as time passes, it is becoming harder and harder for me to p…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Eloise is 20 years old (!) and was living in a shelter cage, but now she has a house of her own. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: I See You’ve Called In Dead, by John Kenney. An obituary writer publishes his own obituary after drinking too much one night, then he learns his newspaper can’t fire him because their systems now list him as dead. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. First, a housekeeping note: Comments will be turned off for a while on Friday while the site moves to a new server. They’ll be turned back on once it’s complete. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Supervisor is flirting with my wife I am a woman, 41 years old, who has been married to my wife for a year. We work together in different departments. She had a thing with one of her male supervisors before me, and he has become an issue. I’ve seen things that have made me question their relationship. In the beginning, when he found out about her and me, he began being nasty with me at wor…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: The last time I was searching for jobs was pre-Covid, and while the job market and world have changed in many ways, one of the ways I’m most concerned about in my current search is the rise of employee monitoring technologies. I work in a field that has been primarily remote since well before the pandemic and has not been subjected my recent waves of return-to-office for that reason. I also live with a number of serious but very well-managed mental health issues that would quickly spiral out of “very well-managed” under the pressure of surveillance technologies. This isn’t just a pref…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I read Ask a Manager every day and have a suggestion for the site. I’m always delighted when I click on a post and it turns out to have a bunch of updates — those are the most fun to read! I think readers would enjoy a category on the Topics page that’s specifically for posts with more than one update. Maybe you could call it “Sagas” or something like that? Sometimes I want a solid distraction and the multiple updates always deliver, but as far as I’m aware there’s no way to specifically pull up a list of posts that have them. Just something to think about if you ever add new categori…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Most people try to make a good impression when they start a new job. Others … do not or, perhaps, cannot. Think, for example, of the new hire who was already badmouthing the business on Twitter, the employee plotting a coup on her second day, and the new hire who brought their mom to orientation. And then there were these: • • • • I was asked to see if I could find the brand new student worker who was supposed to be staffing a front line desk, as everyone who walked past noticed no one was sitting there. I happened to go around the desk — and discovered her sitting underneath the desk, ab…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I want to quit my job and open a bookstore I work in tax accounting. Tax season just ended and the overtime nearly killed me. I love my job but I’m tired of it. I’m also in my mid twenties and more or less feel like I settled down too soon. I work at a small firm and the owners are the best bosses I’ve ever had. I really enjoy the people I work with and I enjoy what I do. I’m well paid and have good benefits including 100% employer paid health insurance. But I’m starting to get tired of it. Lately I’ve been fantasizing about opening a bookstore. I…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I recently interviewed for and accepted a job as a nurse at the very small hospital in my very small midwestern town. My lovely manager was very transparent about how they are big supporters of work-life balance, and gave tangible examples of how they support families, because they have “small town values.” She is clearly very proud of this fact and puts a lot of stock in being a “good” manager. I know some of the employees on that floor, and everything she says seems to be true and not just lip service. Well, I am pregnant (around 15-16 weeks when I interviewed) but, naturally, did …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader shares this story: I recently received what I believe to be a scam job offer. It seemed too good to be true, and I should have realized it was a scam, especially since I don’t remember applying for the position at the company that supposedly offered it to me. The most obvious red flag was that it seemed too good to be true, and the text in the email was clearly copied and pasted from a template. Still, in the excitement of the moment, I almost fell for it. Here’s how it went down: First email: A seemingly legitimate email from someone within the organization asked me to reply “yes” if I was…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: The letter you posted from the volunteer who didn’t disclose something to a student’s teacher and parents reminded me about something that happened to me a while ago with an outside mentor for an after-school program, especially since I was a lot like Marvin in that letter (without the expensive romantic overtures). I was the only girl in a STEM club at my high school, and the mentor was, let’s say, a teapot designer who also trained teapot drivers. Bob wasn’t actually a teacher at my school. He was a volunteer who worked at a well-known organization that the club was associated with…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss says my salary research is wrong because our benefits are so great I recently received a promotion with a significant increase in job responsibilities and found myself negotiating salary for the first time in my career. My state requires salary ranges to be posted with job descriptions, so I have a good idea what other companies in our industry are offering for my role and my years of experience, and I asked for a similar amount, about 10% higher than what I was offered. My manager wanted to know how I came up with the new number, so I point…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: Through a bit of misfortune, I had to fall back on working at the company my parents own, in order to pay my bills. It is a challenging job market, to say the least, so I am grateful that I have this safety net I can fall back on. However, it isn’t without its own league of challenges: my coworkers have taken to making complaints about me to my parents, who are the bosses, about issues that quite frankly seem petulant. In one case, one coworker was noting what times I was clocking in and made a complaint when I clocked in three hours earlier than everybody else to finish paperwork in…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader asks: My small business has had a recurring discussion regarding taking meetings with job seekers when we don’t have an open position. Someone will reach out, either by stopping by our office without an appointment or just sending an inquiry by email, and ask if they can meet with someone. In the past, we have taken these meetings as sort of informal interviews. From what I recall, we’ve never made a hire from these meetings when there’s no existing connection to our company or staff. Over the last few years, I’ve discouraged these meetings. They just take up time for our team when we don’t …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I took over as the director of my former team about a year ago. I inherited an ongoing HR issue between one of my direct reports (Tammy) and her direct report (Beth). Beth hates Tammy. Beth had applied for the promotion to Tammy’s position when it was last open but my predecessor hired Tammy from the outside, and Beth had strong feelings about being passed over. Tammy was not the best hire; she is not a strong manager. But we are a government agency, and while Tammy isn’t my best employee, she is not so bad that there would be any chance I could fire her. I have worked on coaching her…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss leads the worst staff meetings ever Every month my boss leads an all-staff meeting, and it is awful. Normally he is a pretty good boss, and I enjoy working with him. But this meeting is regularly 1.5-2 hours long and largely irrelevant to half the staff because it is mostly geared towards one team (out of 4). My boss also tries to make these meetings “fun” by asking people for personal pictures — at one meeting he showed pictures for 45 minutes before even getting to the business/informational part, during the height of our busy season. I ma…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m an admin in a small office, with a centrally located desk. One of my coworkers, Miranda, literally never stops talking. I counted for a while and she averages two major interruptions per hour, mostly extended monologues about personal minutiae, intimate relationship problems, or absolute and total nonsense. Basically, her entire internal monologue is externalized at all times. She announces everything she’s doing. She tells me long stories about how she managed things like “loaning her bike to someone” or “changing the exact location of her keys” that follow the entire storyline …